PONDERS & PORTENTS

I had to return to the darkness — I couldn't stand the sun

[faerieflames]

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❝ we can never become gods after all — but we can become something less than human with frightening ease. ❞

#FAERIEFLAMES an independant private writing blog dedicated to an original character based in The Forgotten Realms, and originally created for the module Vecna: Eve of Ruin. VIR D'RAAL, a half-drow divination wizard, and the last scion of a dead house. as penned by kirin | 24 | they / them.

a study in faith or the absence of, where great ambitions lead, the weight of ancestry, and the price of blood.

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[faerieflames]

which tragic death would you suffer?

the unfinished

you die, hand outstretched towards the sky, as if to say 'I'm not done yet.' there are so many things you still have to do, so many goals you still have to reach. you've spent your entire life working towards them, and doing nothing else, only to die before knowing what accomplishment feels like. they'll say your death was a pity, that you had such a bright future ahead of you. it is one you'll never get to see.

tagged by: @alurlssrinbled

[edenmemes]

witcher: the last wish starters

❝ oh, what’s the point of explaining? you wouldn’t understand anyway. ❞ ❝ don’t grin like an idiot. there’s nothing funny about it. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your reflexes. ❞ ❝ they say the wisdom of ages is to be found in fairy tales. ❞ ❝ this sword can always be drawn again, faster than you can imagine. ❞ ❝ if i’m to choose between one evil and another, then i prefer not to choose at all. ❞ ❝ i don’t have anywhere else to run. i don’t know where i could hide. ❞ ❝ i’ll fill your evenings with tales of ever more astounding events from the past few years. ❞ ❝ i killed to avoid being killed myself. ❞ ❝ the world is changing. something’s coming to an end. ❞ ❝ are you really not frightened of me? ❞ ❝ talking and regretting won’t get you anywhere. ❞ ❝ don’t come back. never come back. ❞ ❝ how much of the rumours about you are true? ❞ ❝ people like to invent monsters and monstrosities. then they seem less monstrous themselves. ❞ ❝ it’s got nothing to do with you and that’s that. ❞ ❝ you need more than words to frighten me. ❞ ❝ what’s going on here? can’t i leave you alone for a minute? ❞ ❝ there’s something not quite right with you. i can sense that. ❞ ❝ am i supposed to give you advice and teach you how to live? am i your mother or something? ❞ ❝ evil is evil. lesser, greater, middling, it’s all the same. ❞ ❝ i’m not surrounded by any vortex or fate. ❞ ❝ i was beginning to worry. you didn’t regain consciousness for so long. ❞ ❝ the forest isn’t the safest of places at night. ugly things are heard and seen. ❞ ❝ there’s a grain of truth in every fairy tale. ❞ ❝ yes, i deceived you. i’ll deceive anyone if i have to, why should you be special? ❞ ❝ you’ve made your choice. are you sure it’s the right one? ❞ ❝ for some time now i’ve had hideous dreams. ❞ ❝ virtue is rarer today than a rock dragon. ❞ ❝ i haven’t got anything sharp on me. have a look for yourself. ❞ ❝ the day will come when people will learn, and get the better of you. ❞ ❝ it would be great if the cruelty of rulers could be explained away by mutations or curses. ❞ ❝ and to think that there are people who don’t believe in destiny. ❞ ❝ if you think i feel sorry for them, then you’re wrong. ❞ ❝ you’re talking nonsense while making wise and meaningful faces. ❞ ❝ i’ll confide in you, if you like. ❞ ❝ look at you — ethics, codes of practice, morality. who are you to talk? ❞ ❝ now, that, should really be of damn little concern to you. ❞ ❝ you look as if you are already a corpse. ❞ ❝ there’s no shame in fear. ❞ ❝ what do you desire? immortality? riches? fame? power? ❞ ❝ you underestimate my strength. ❞ ❝ do you want to burden your conscience with blood and death? ❞ ❝ now it’s as quiet as a grave. ❞ ❝ i know that, deep down, you like me. ❞ ❝ don’t leave yet. stay. a few more days. ❞ ❝ don’t do unto others what you would not have them do to you. ❞ ❝ i know my fate whirls about me like water. it’s hard on my heels, following my tracks. ❞ ❝ i’d prefer you not to make any sudden movements. ❞ ❝ help me up, please. ❞ ❝ i’ve never run away from anyone and i’m not about to change my ways. ❞ ❝ it’s my problem. my life and my punishment. ❞ ❝ the fact that you’ve arrived here exactly at this time can’t be a coincidence. it’s fate. ❞ ❝ slaughter and bloodshed can be avoided. ❞ ❝ you’ve got the devil in your eyes too. ❞ ❝ nobody’s ever called me that. say it again. ❞ ❝ humanity. that’s what you want. that’s what you dream of. ❞ ❝ what’s it to you what happens to me? ❞ ❝ you do realise that a sword alone will not defeat destiny? ❞ ❝ no, nothing’s wrong. i’m fine. quite fine. ❞ ❝ stories, well, i’ve heard them too. half are either made up or exaggerated. ❞ ❝ i could go where you’re going. i could keep you company. ❞ ❝ mistakes? of course i’ve made them. ❞ ❝ enough of this, we should go. it’s already dusk. ❞ ❝ maybe it’s customary, wherever you come from, to threaten people with swords? ❞ ❝ if it goes badly, i will defend my life. ❞ ❝ go on, thrust the sword into me. ❞ ❝ has loneliness got the better of you after all? ❞ ❝ everything can be dealt with. it’s only a question of price. ❞ ❝ you know my principle: duty then pleasure. ❞ ❝ i’ve never killed people for money, regardless whether it’s for a good or bad cause. and i never will. ❞ ❝ love and blood. they both possess a mighty power. ❞ ❝ i’ve got some medicine. we both need it. ❞ ❝ you’re embittered, hungry for revenge and conscious of your own powerlessness. ❞ ❝ what’s happening to you? i don’t recognise you. ❞ ❝ do you take me for a fool? ❞ ❝ i always get what i want. ❞ ❝ i manage because i have to. because i’ve no other way out. ❞ ❝ you can’t stand in the way of my happiness. ❞ ❝ to hell with destiny, oaths and irony. ❞ ❝ they hunted me like a wild animal as long as they could. until i became the hunter. ❞ ❝ i understand your hesitation, but i need an answer now. ❞ ❝ there are offers you can’t refuse, that the consequences are so terrible, and this is one of them. ❞ ❝ true evil is something you can barely imagine, even if you believe nothing can still surprise you. ❞ ❝ i’ve seen too much to laugh at things like that. ❞ ❝ maybe i’ve not had enough to drink. ❞ ❝ you may kiss my hand. ❞ ❝ don’t pull that face. it doesn’t suit either your good looks or your complexion. ❞ ❝ if i want something, i don’t dream of it. i act. ❞ ❝ are you in pain? what’s the matter? ❞ ❝ i prefer to look after others. it turns out better in the long run. ❞ ❝ you haven’t got enough strength left. ❞ ❝ bravery isn’t going to be of much use to you. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t rhyme. all decent predictions rhyme. ❞ ❝ listen. you’re starting to get on my nerves. ❞ ❝ don’t do this. i want to help you. ❞ ❝ you’re a very interesting dinner companion. ❞ ❝ i’ll avoid that place like the plague. i’ll never go back there. ❞ ❝ you’ll soon see what i’m capable of. ❞ ❝ i do like you, although i don’t know why myself. ❞ ❝ it’s got nothing to do with me. i’m just asking out of curiosity. ❞ ❝ have you never heard of a sense of responsibility and plain honesty? ❞ ❝ you’re going there because you have to, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we are what we are, you and i. ❞ ❝ did you see…did you see that? ❞

[faerieflames]

@starlyht said: “ i’m used to it by now ” - sol

the mermaid’s voice returns in this one prompts

Prior to being startled by the stranger, Vir had been pondering some heavy tome or another in the wanning light of their campfire before becoming particularly thankful for the Alarm spell they had set in the surroundings. Shooting up to their feet, they hastily reached for the spellbook on their belt, opening it in a singlehanded grip as it seemed to flip through to the proper page unaided, a residual purple glow eminating from the book faintly illuminating their visage as they readied a spell. Although, despite appearing to sneak up on them in the dark, if the other Drow had any ill intent he was skilled at masking it, which in the moment seemed like reason enough to spare them from a few magic missiles, at least temporarily as they continued to hold the spell at the ready.

❝ Which? Sneaking up on people? or being covered in blood? or is it both? ❞ Their words come out a bit more accusatory than intended, as well as unable to refrain from punctuating their own attempt at a joke with a momentary chuckle. ❝ Normally, I can see alright in the dark, but it seems as if there's something different about you. ❞ Trying to temper some of their haughtiness with an ounce of deference.

❝ I do hope that is not your blood, as I'm not much of a healer, and I'm not one to share camp with bloody strangers, but I could acquiesce if given sufficient explanation. ❞

[faerieflames]

i love this clip

[faerieflames]

what's your role in the tragic play?

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

[mvstra-deactivated20250630]

&&. @faerieflames ❤️'d for a starter.

THOSE THAT PRACTICED IN THE WAYS OF THE WEAVE were usually human in nature. It wasn't something Mystra had encouraged, simply the way it had happened. Humans had always wanted more than they were - and were not as naturally inclined or intuned with the weave as other species. They had to work for it more.

So when she saw a Vir D'raal, a little half-drow, practicing, she was rather surprised. She was not usually one of the goddesses they were drawn towards. Usually they communicated with gods like Lolth or Eilistraee - not with her. But she was more than happy to welcome anyone who took the time to learn.

On a particular night, Mystra watched over them as they practiced, seemingly growing frustrated with one spell or another, looking on the verge of giving up. But Mystra sent out a little bit of her own weave, flipping the page of the book they were studying and highlighted a piece of text they needed to focus on more, making the words glow.

[faerieflames]

The study inside Vir's conjured tower was quiet, were it not for arcane utterances and exclamations of frustrastion. The desk before them was covered in an array of tomes and folios, illuminated from a safe distance by dim candelight, for the sake of sensitive eyes. Fingertips pressed into their temples could force the right synapses to fire and correct whatever was going wrong, a clear downside of leaving the academy, not that many were able to perform such potent spells.

Their train of thought swiftly derailed, the entirety of their focus captured by the turning page, moved in a manner that seemed to suggest a gentle hand. When the words on the page illuminated, they shot up from their seat, wooden chair legs scraping across the floor. Their eyes looked frantically to the windows on either side, only to find them expectedly closed and shuttered, unable to explain away the animated page with some strange draft.

In their alarm, they rushed to scoop up their spellbook from the desk, cradling their life's efforts in their arms, filigreed covers held tight in a protective embrace. ❝ Is anyone there? ❞ calling out as the spun round in the center of the room, assessing the surroundings for any other evidence of strangeness. ❝ Perhaps I am simply going mad, ❞ they whispered under their breath, gaze stuck to the glowing phrase.

[phantomemes]

from the work of  amanda lovelace  ,  the mermaid’s voice returns in this one   (  consider supporting the author  ) .  pronouns  (  he , she , they , i , etc  )  &  tenses can be adjusted as needed

“ i’m dropping my sword ” “ i’m not sure which of us i’m trying to convince ” “ there was no one i could have told ” “ there was nothing i could have done ” “ do you ever find yourself nostalgic for the life you never got to have ? ” “ do you ever find yourself nostalgic for the person you never got to be ? ” “ i never meant to be here for so long ” “ when will it be my turn ? ” “ who was i before you ? ” “ you can’t fix someone else ” “ you were the first one i believed ” “ i don’t mean to frighten you ” “ i would seriously consider drinking the atlantic whole if only you asked me to ” “ what wouldn’t i do for you ? ” “ i wish you had been my first love ” “ you were always my favorite wreck ” “ why wasn’t i smart enough to stay away from you ? ” “ this isn’t that kind of fairy tale ” “ cages are still cages even when they’re designed to look just like castles ” “ staying with you is nothing more than muscle memory ” “ how can you just walk away ? ” “ sometimes we have to feed ourselves lies just to live ” “ i still have every part of myself ” “ you don’t get to say it’s my fault for staying ” “ i’m but a work in progress ” “ i’m still alive and therefore so is hope ” “ i’m my own sunrise ” “ be stronger than the villains ” “ your voice could sink spaceships ” “ you need to try anyway ” “ you have been known to pry the scabs open  ,  bleed them out ” “ i woke up the next morning and i did not feel brave ” “ we talk about survival like it’s a thing that makes you stronger ” “ i was a bird before this ” “ i remember everything ” “ my healing is ugly ” “ there always exists more than one opportunity for you to grow ” “ i meant to break open to make room for stars ” “ it’s time you give yourself a fair chance ” “ it was never as pretty as you like to pretend it was ” “ i’m used to it by now ” “ don’t ever take anyone’s bullshit ” “ you did not disappear unnoticed ” “ your scraped knees will always mend ” “ just keep singing yourself to sleep ” “ eventually your monsters will stop haunting  you ” “ you are not sad forever ” “ maybe the difference between remembering and hurting is just me ” “ does your pain have a voice ? ” “ you are worth spoiling ” “ when i was a child  ,  i used to believe anyone ” “ you did all you could do ” “ now you must learn what it means for you to live ” “ i’ve never been a river nor a lake for you to peer into ” “ my story has never been your story ” “ rip this page out and keep it with you ” “ be victorious in everything you do ” “ disturb the gods  ,  if that’s what it takes ”

[faerieflames]

misc character stuff that didn't fit nicely into the bio

Vir is highly ambitious, influenced by their time studying with Thayan wizards, they have few personal restrictions as to which spells or arcane techniques should or should not be performed and are not detered by common magical taboos such as planar binding or lichdom.

Gained a fighter level while training with their cleric of Helm companion

Vir is arachnophobic, regularly conducting nightly spider checks and often using excessive arcane force on creaures that display too many legs

Their portents come from a daily ritual of brewing morning tea for their party and reading the leaves

[faerieflames]

wizarding hours