ghost

writer + weirdo + he/they

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[bearsockz]

It just makes sense

[lleyksie]

let’s be primitive horses with mama

[marcelshorjian]

anatomy of a humiliation

[failingghost]

Hi hi I haven't written anything for these projects in a couple of weeks... or months but time to badly describe my projects to hold myself accountable or something like that.

Project 1_ I hope this hurts

To live is to suffer. Am I realistic? Is this all there ever is? I am so tired. I wanna go home but where is home?

Project 2_( 2-3 books): Vindicta / Nex (/Solatium)

Workaholic forensic criminologist on the hunt to kill every single member of a cult while having a fulltime job, a side job and a demon plaguing his life. AKA Hunting a cult never goes as planned. Also. Don’t fall in love you selfish prick.

Project 3_ (2 books): Holiest Sinner / Sinful Saint

Never fall in love with an artist, especially when you’re a priest who vowed celibacy. AKA Break your heart, fall into bad coping mechanism and fill your touchstarved heart with the love you were never given. (Doesn’t happen in this order.) Also: Is God real? Why has he left me?

Project 4_ Teeth that bite – loyal dog

You were born in chains just to break free and end up in new chains. Are you really independet when you choose your chains? Have you ever had a chance to be your own person. Also I’m a loyal dog, nobody is more important to me than my owner. I will kill for him. I would die for him. I love him. (Toxic but they happy.)

Project 5_ weeping ravens (fall out of heaven)

Solve your own murder as your memory fades and you lose your sense of self. Something something Cain and Abel. Something something salty ex. Something something fallen angel. Something something reincarnation.

Tagginglist:

@world-of-iridensia @charlies-storybook @gravesmistake314 @lexiklecksi @jessiec-writes-fantasy

[failingghost]

I’m not a happy person

That's why I write about unhappy people and doomed lovers

That's why I write about fragmented minds and bad endings

It's enough for me to make my friends smile

To know they're happy

That's gotta be enough

It needs to be

Right?

Right?

Faking smiles gotta count for something

Make it count

Please

[failingghost]

I need a gun to stare at

[krushitaspoetry]

The cruelest part of growing older is not the breaking, but how quietly we learn to live broken - how we bury our weeping behind “I’m good” and call it strength. We walk among the walking wounded, saints of sorrow, prophets of suppression, each of us dragging crosses no one dares acknowledge. There is a choir of aching in every office hallway, a baptism of fatigue in the grocery line, and none of us say a word. We crown each other with half-hearted “how are yous” while dying inside like martyrs of mundanity. People carry heartbreak like scripture in their bodies - grief passed down like sacred bloodlines, and all they get is a nod, a shrug, an “it is what it is.” I want to scream sometimes - not for help, but for witness. I want someone to see the altar I’ve built from my silence, the burnt offerings of joy I gave away to survive. But I don’t scream. I do what the world asks. I move through the hours like a shadow dressed in skin. I clock in. I eat. I perform. I swallow my sorrow and call it discipline. And somehow, the world keeps spinning. Yet, I exist. I don’t scream. I sit quietly. I drink my water. I get through the day, one task at a time. And that becomes my story.

[anxeious]

[boycritter]

i need a boyfriend. i need a girlfriend. i need to be single forever. i need a toxic situationship. i need a problematically older man to be homoerotically involved with. i need to have gay sex. i need no one to ever touch me ever again in any way. i need top surgery. i need a hug.

[opossum-handz]

[gaslightwestern]

Trick or Treat?

From: World-Of-Iridensia

Trick! 😱

[world-of-iridensia]

Ok, I have been stuck on what I can put forward for this and a conversation I had with a friend might be the way forward.

So I have AuDHD which mean my brain, from a writing perspective, acts like a pinball for EVERYTHING I'm interested in. So when I want to write that can be really inconvenient if my brain is like "GAME GAME GAME GAME GAME" when I want it to be "TORMENT YOUR CHARACTERS, MAKE YOUR READERS CRY"

So to combat this I broke writing down into several sub-tasks and they are as follows:

Planning

Researching

Media Consumption

Writing

Social Media

Wiki Building

Resting

Ever since taking this approach I've found I actually make a bit more progress. It might be slower progress but I have more consistent forward momentum.

Also if anyone is curious about what goes into each of these sub-tasks or why they even exist, feel free to hit my asks and I'll answer as best I can.

[the-most-humble-blog]

I’m not ghosting you. I’m battling demons, spiraling into a void, and pretending to be a functioning adult with my face.

[elegiesuponyourgravestone]

art work by mendezmendez

lately, i feel like i am holding myself too much. as if my body is a container one tremor away from spilling. i feel like anything could trigger something in me at any time. an offhand word, a memory, a silence that lasts a second too long. so i distance myself, not out of indifference, but out of fear that whatever this is inside me might hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it.

there’s a rage that lingers quietly, like a current under the floorboards. it doesn’t scream, it waits. i feel it in the tightening of my jaw, the way my fingers curl, the way silence grows heavy between thoughts. i keep patching the leaks with my hands, holding myself together out of instinct.

it’s strange, how something can live in you for so long it begins to feel like bone. how the ache becomes part of your anatomy, pulsing quietly, asking for nothing but space to exist.

and so i let it. not out of surrendering, but because i don’t know what else to do.

— jv orongan, "maybe surrendering will do."

[asoftepiloguemylove]

SHE WAS THE MOST LONELY CREATURE SHE KNEW // ON LONELINESS

@heavensghost // 밤의 해변에서 혼자 On the Beach at Night Alone (2017) dir. Hong Sang-soo // Teen Suicide haunt me (x 3) // Mitski Abbey // Michael Cunningham The Hours // 밤의 해변에서 혼자 On the Beach at Night Alone (2017) dir. Hong Sang-soo // Banana Yoshimoto Kitchen // Haruki Murakami Sputnik Sweetheart // Mitski Crack Baby // 밤의 해변에서 혼자 On the Beach at Night Alone (2017) dir. Hong Sang-soo // Shelby Eileen soft in the middle // Dante Émile on loneliness // Clarice Lispector Miss Algrave from "Soulstorm: Stories"

[kafkaesqueer]

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata // Love Me More by Mitski // Killing Eve, 2x06 // BoJack Horseman, 2x12

[ch4nn3l4st4tic]