Hi, I'm Courtney

Just a 22 year old girl trying to find her way in the world❤️

[makeupbag]

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

Even though there's so much ugly in the world today I got to see something beautiful ❤️

[moan-s]

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

Why am I always in the mood?😒

[shannonkatharine]

[plantpriestess]

[nitrons]

[poems-and-words]

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

Today I ate a (naked) smoothie and banana for breakfast For lunch I had a big salad it had cucumbers in it (so good!) I munched on some chips and drank pop 😒 For dinner I had a Mexican burrito thing I went for a 40 minute walk and tried to jog a bit I reached my 10,000 steps I did a billion squats lol And I was on my period during all of this I feel so good and I feel anxiety free today My weight was 159 today

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

My active minutes and steps have been on it for the last 2 weeks! I'm starting this week right and I did my 10,000 steps for the day. I weighed 158 this morning! My weight has been 160 for the last few months. I gained roughly 15 pounds since last April. I'm going to get back at it. This weeks goals are to cut back on cigarettes, pop, and junk food. And to get 10,000 steps 6/7 days. Get my active minutes higher than last week (I believe it was 290 something)

[invdious]

[seex-is-deactivated20260714]

@Seex-is // Snapchat: fette_putzfrau

[clubfamous]

girls think about sex just as much as boys do and that is a fact bye

[dreaming-jaybird]

there was a study and apparently girls actually think about it more

[clubfamous]

that’s probably true because we can think about it whenever we want without our genitals making a guest appearance

[politenuclearbomb]

guest appearance

[novusmortalis]

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

Oops

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

I have been sober a week today and I feel absolutely wonderful. 💜

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

I feel so hopeless 😔

[morecompassion]

I hope that in 2016 I will at least stop ruining my own life

[fairytalesaredead-blog]

Trigger Warning!

Trigger warning!! Mention of suicidal thoughts, alcohol abuse, and disordered eating habits! I don't know what has gotten into me. I have been binge drinking for weeks now. All weekend that is all that I can think about. That's all I have done the last couple months probably. I get trashed every weekend. I have always had the problem with not being able to start once I start. I always want to drink until I am passed out. I drank over 10 beers on Friday night. I was drinking in Walmart's parking lot waiting to my mom and sister. The next day, I was of course hung over and sick. I had to feel better my eating nasty ass food. And, I am highly aware of my 10 pound weight gain so that makes me feel even worse. That night I was literally shaking wanting a drink so bad. I stole some liquor from my aunt's liquor cabinet and I felt better. I just wanted more. I always want more. The following day. I worked and when I got home I slept and laid around. My sister's boyfriend brought weed. We smoked and I always get paranoid when I smoke. I took a shower. The whole time I was shaking in the shower. I started thinking of my uncle in prison. He murdered someone. He was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I was visualizing me murdering someone, nobody in particular. I could see the blood on my hands. I could see it running down the sink. I was shaking so bad. I just seen a knife and me stabbing her. Over and over again. Then, I was picturing me stabbing myself and dying. I was literally hyperventilating. I sat down on the shower floor and prayed. I sang gospel songs and prayed over and over again. It really calmed me down. I was so scared to get up. I was scared to see anyone because I was convinced I would kill them. I hid scissors. Today. I decided I'm going to lose weight. I also decided to eat Wendy's. Then, I decided to throw it all up. I need help. I need to get better. I keep getting suicidal thoughts. I keep wanting to drink. I don't know who to tell or what to do. I don't know why I have such an addictive personality. I don't know why I can't control myself. I tried to reach out to my sister, but I can't this time. I don't know who the fuck to talk to. I don't want to even talk to anyone I just want to be fucking normal! I'm sick of being depressed, angry, suicidal, and fucking crazy. I'm so the hell over it.

[labella-instagram]