Not really venting about Empty Space, but just thinking. I'm not dissing any, I'm not saying that any should listen to me, but I'm also allowed to put my thoughts out there and if it makes others uncomfortable/upset, then oops.
Anywho, I feel like in spite of there being space for pretty much anything and everything, there is....stagnation? Maybe I'm just not looking in the right bits, or those are hidden to me (maybe both? not sure) but it surprises me how little movement there feels sometimes.
Granted, to all who join I always say that ES as a concept can be as deep or as shallow as they want because it is a lot, it can be a whoooole lot. But then it also feels as if once a certain role is taken up, that's it. No other themes are explored, nor is there a want to. Maybe I'm just a capricious individual in a sense, but when I first entered the space, I was exploring EVERYTHING I could. Different aspects, different identities, different themes incorporated in the space because I wanted to LEARN, I wanted to experience, I wanted to see where I could possibly fit within this vast space. But as I delved more, it felt like I was fighting to try and find that space. Everything had to be put behind something so cryptic, sentence fragments I was just supposed to interpret, given a page of a book I had to try and interpret with absolutely no context and written upside down in a language I couldn't even begin to grasp because everyone wanted to hide the dictionary for SOME reason. And when I tried to talk to those about it so I could glean something, thoughts of any kind, I was met with radio silence unless it had to do with their specific concepts they were infatuated with. Or again, cryptic messages and vauge half statement, and when pressed further it would just cycle back to silence. Nothing that had to do with anything outside of their bubble.
And I say again, that is fine.
I am allowed to think "Yeah, you can stay in that if you want" while also simultaneously thinking "You're telling me you can just sit there and not want to explore, even the tiniest bit? Don't even want to peek your little head out a smidgen and at least see a different color of the sun rising?"
And then when I try to put down my interpretations because I had to come up with my own, they're shunned behind closed doors because they don't "fit in"
Fit into what, your view? Is yours the end all be all? If so, what is yours? Let me hear it, let me see why you don't like mine, let's talk about it!
But no. Nothing happens, nothing moves and nothing gets solved. And I sit here, feeling ostracized but no one tells me why, they don't tell me what I did wrong?
My halo is not your halo, your tools are not mine and nor are mine yours. How you experience Empty Space will probably never be anything like mine, and I say that's okay!
I'd like to hear about yours though.
