It had been half a century since Alrick had so much as considered allowing himself to have feelings for a woman that went beyond lust and obsession. This turn of events surprised him as much, if not more, than it surprised Iona. Given the chance, he would have shielded them both from the consequences of his attachment, but it was too late to do that now. Slowly, he brushed his hand over her shoulders, tracing the outline of her collarbone and her neck all the way to her jaw until his hand was softly pressed to her cheek. “We can never been equally as powerful. Not here. Not like this.”
But Alrick didn’t deny her proposition outright like he knew he should. He hated the fact that she would have such immense power over him - but the thrust of his frustration didn’t rest with the fact that she was blackmailing him for her own gain. No, his frustration lay almost entirely with the fact that she knew how he felt about her, and even if it was being used against her now, it could be used against him, by her, at any moment. Her offer was appealing, but he still didn’t feel like he had much reason to trust her, especially with his heart.
Placing his other hand on her free cheek, Alrick leaned in and pressed a kiss to Iona’s forehead. “Fine. We’ll make you blackmailing me and anyone else you choose a true business deal.” He could have, probably should have, killed her right then. It would have been easy to do with her in his grasp. But even with fear making him want to act wildly, Alrick couldn’t bring himself to do it. “I care for you, Iona, but I don’t trust you. Not after this. Not after tonight. Trust is earned. If you truly want us to be equals, if you want a chance at a real partnership, whether our hearts are involved or not, then trust has to be the goal.”
He released her, turning his back so that he didn’t have to look at her face. He wasn’t sure his heart could bear it. “You’re free to pick another room to stay in for the remainder of your visit here if you wish to sleep away from me. The next time you arrive, I’ll have a room prepared specifically to your tastes.” Alrick’s eyes flashed to his things, all of the paper and trinkets he had knocked to the floor in his rage. He wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to assume she would want to fuck him and trade secrets while they explored….whatever this was, and he honestly, he needed to time to decide how exactly he wanted to proceed. “If you don’t mind, I’d like a few moments alone.”
She knew he was right. As long as they were in Black Watch and she was under contract, they couldn’t be equally powerful. She had no power here, her contract could be sold tomorrow and she might never see him again. But the illusion of it was tempting. After he kissed her forehead, she slowly reached out to place the incriminating documents back on his desk, a sign that she didn’t plan on using them against him.
“You should never have trusted me to begin with,” she pointed out. Tonight’s actions didn’t change who she was, or the fact that he had already trusted her, despite having no reason to. She had made no promises, sworn no oaths, promised him nothing except a good time. “I didn’t promise you anything before, but now that I know your secret... I won’t tell anyone. You have my word now.” She knew he wouldn’t trust it, but he’d learn to trust it when she kept it.
He offered to let her sleep in another room, and she frowned. The truth was, Iona hated to sleep alone... even when she didn’t have any clients, she usually slept with one of the other girls, to keep the nightmares at bay. She lingered a moment after he turned away from him, wondering if he’d be angry if she asked. But they were supposed to try to trust one another, so she took a deep breath. “I... understand if you want me to sleep somewhere else, but I don’t really like to sleep alone...” She admitted sheepishly, biting her lip. If he didn’t want her to share his bed anymore, she wouldn’t be getting much sleep on the nights she spent here.
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