Fall is what we live for @falliswhatwelivefor - Tumblr Blog

Here is my first post to my new blog. I hope that you can find comfort and hope in this blog. I also hope you can relate to some experiences if you have had some difficulty with sleep paralysis. This blog is also potentially a way to help cope with some of these experiences as well as hear others.

thedreamycity101

One of the earliest memories I have of being a small child was sleep paralysis.

When I was a little girl I had a pretty wild imagination. I thought dinosaurs lived in the sewer. I thought sharks lived in lakes. I thought people really were not trying hard enough and if they tried harder they would see them. I told myself if I were to look down into the sewers I would surely be able to find a dinosaur down there.

My dad even took me fishing a few times when I was a kid around maybe 5 or 6. I remember one time in particularly I saw a huge red fin stick up in the water. I shouted, and pointed to it. The tail rose up from the water and was a pinkish red color. I remember telling my dad it was a shark! He laughed of course and let me believe it could be for a moment. He reminded me sharks didn't live in lakes because they were saltwater fish. I didn't care and I was going to let that stop me from believing.

You can say that confidence and certainty I had quickly faded as the lights did in bedroom. I would cry, and scream a lot at night. And refuse to go to bed. I looked for any excuse to be awake just a little longer. I told my parents there was a spider on the ceiling and I couldn't sleep in there because it had already disappeared. I also explained that if I slept alone the ghost in our house would find me. My parents told me several times there were no such things as ghosts and I needed to go to bed.

It didn't matter what I did. I could never win as my parents were just Stern and just as confident as me.

I remember one night in particular changed me. It took away what confidence I had in the safety of my own home.

I was sleeping downstairs this time. Luckily beside my parents so I felt safe. I was maybe 5 years old during this incident. I woke up with my head facing our front door and window and could see a street light coming into the living room.

The next thing I remember was a shadowy figure of a women gliding through the room. I automatically assumed she was a ghost. The odd thing about this thought was I couldn't move. My body was so paralyized that my arms wouldn't lift up. I remember wanting to look away but not being able to turn my neck. She floated around the living for maybe 30 seconds before me finally lifting my body up and her disappearing.

I remember telling my parents the next day and for months it was the ghost in our house that would follow me around. Little did I know there was more to come.