YES, THESE HAVE REALLY BEEN SAID SENTENCE STARTERS
❝ I’m not afraid to shank someone with my car keys. ❞
❝ He needs to get some meat on his bones. ❞
❝ I’d eat human if it was sold in the grocery store. ❞
❝ I can’t trust anyone who doesn’t like The Beatles. ❞
❝ I’m afraid to get in a relationship because I want the bed all to myself. ❞
❝ We’re all a little gay inside. ❞
❝ Nope, it’s just a pimple on my ass. ❞
❝ And then we scooped out his insides like a pumpkin. ❞
❝ I just wanted to check on my baby angel. ❞
❝ No wonder she needs bangs. Look at that forehead. ❞
❝ Isn’t peeling dead skin satisfying? ❞
❝ Is it called the Krusty Krab because Mr. Krabs is a crustacean? ❞
❝ I can’t wait to go home and pick this wedgie. ❞
❝ How am I going to talk to him with a scab in the middle of my face? ❞
❝ I love being told what to do in a British accent. ❞
❝ I can’t help but to notice as I was talking about my feelings you were slowly backing out of the room. ❞
❝ Nothing like hot breath against your thigh. ❞
❝ It’s genetics, bitch! ❞
❝ One laugh and this fart is gonna escape. ❞
❝ I bet a man does Miss Piggy’s voice. ❞
❝ I stopped up the toilet! ❞
❝ Flirt with your mother fucking eyes! ❞
❝ Her/his bitchass voice woke me up. ❞
❝ Stressed, depressed lemon zest. ❞
❝ It be like that out on these streets. ❞
❝ I love when men talk about manly things. ❞