Red vs. Blue: PREVIOUSLY ON..., part 2
[All images are owned by Rooster Teeth Productions. Please don't sue me of make Caboose my teammate]
Look, this whole post is a PREVIOUSLY ON..., so stop being lazy and read Part 1!
All set? Good. Let’s continue!
Recollection (Seasons 6-8)
If you would like to watch this chapter, it's available on Rooster Teeth or behind your favorite paywall.
[QUICK NOTE: Agent Washington (or “Wash” for short) is actually introduced in the miniseries Recovery One, which gives us a bit of background on Wash (he went psychotic after being connected with the Epsilon AI, and thereafter refused to connect with another AI), as well as Agent South Dakota (or “South” for short, who’s willing to sacrifice anything to get what she wants), the Delta AI (formerly paired with Agent York (who was killed in the miniseries Out of Mind, now with South after she shot Wash. Nice woman.) and the villain for this era, a being known only as The Meta. It’s available on Rooster Teeth or behind your favorite paywall if you want to watch it]
[ANOTHER QUICK NOTE: The various chapters of Season 6 are prefaced by an exchange between the Director of Project Freelancer and the Chairman of the Oversight Sub-Committee (who is investigating an incident related to the Project) that becomes increasingly antagonistic. It’s an interesting exchange, but for the most part unimportant to the plot]
Following the destruction of Tex’s transport, it crashed on the battleground known as “Valkyrie.” The agency known as “Project Freelancer” believed Omega fled Tex’s body and possessed the Blues until they killed themselves. Then the Reds started being affected, but then…something else arrived and attacked the Reds, leaving only one survivor to tell the tale! It was believed that the Meta was behind the attack, and has acquired Omega.
Wash is assigned to investigate Tex’s associates and use their knowledge to take down the Meta (and you were wondering how Our Heroes were going to become involved, weren’t you?)
Wash arrived in Blood Gulch to find everyone was reassigned except for Sister (who turned Blue Base into a nightclub) and Sarge (who refused his new assignment as long as one Blue remained, and since Sister didn’t leave…), who told Wash where to find someone who had experience with Ais.
Unfortunately, that someone was Caboose (his current assignment was all too happy to turn him over to Wash!), who led Wash to an abandoned base, manned by Church (which suited him just fine, as there was no one to annoy him)
Church was not about to help Wash (and, therefore, neither was Caboose) until Wash says Command found the wreckage of Tex’s ship. So off they went to investigate!
Unfortunately for them, the Meta was trailing them and contacted Sarge, telling him that Wash was working with the Blues, so he mobilized to get the rest of his team. Sarge immediately headed out, to discover Grif and Simmons about to be executed by their own squad (Grif sold the Blues the squad’s ammo)
However, due to Sarge disobeying reassignment orders…
...with a rank of Sargent. Sarge refused the reality that Grif was the same sank as him.
Meanwhile, Wash and the Blues arrived at Valhalla and checked out Tex’s ship (once they snuck past the guards). According to Sheila’s logs, Junior and the alien jettisoned before the crash (along with Tucker’s sword)
Then Wash got pinged by an AI distress beacon (South and her AI Delta) and the trio rushed to assist.
Upon arrival, they found South under attack from the Meta. Church realized that the Meta might have Wyoming’s time-displacement enhancement and rushed to attack, but the Meta winked out and escaped.
Given South’s injuries, Wash had Delta transfer to Caboose (really? Caboose?) Delta then informed Wash that South not only was about to give it over to the Meta, but also injured Wash and arranged to kill her brother (Agent North Dakota) to save her skin. Therefore, Wash shot her before she could betray him again.
(I’m sure you can translate that censor)
Delta then started giving exposition on the Ais for Project Freelancer, saying they’re all fragments, but hinted at a complete AI known as “the Alpha,” which Wash shut down.
Then they got another distress beacon, this time from Agent Maine (AKE “The Meta”; yes, the Meta is a rogue Freelancer!) Church figured that running so many augments might be draining the Meta’s suit’s power, so suggested checking out the power station that was “in the future”)
They manage to tracked down the Meta to the power station and flanked him. However…
…the Reds showed up, turret blazing!
In the confusion, the Meta injured Caboose and stole Delta! However, once he was powered up, the Meta turned on the Reds and tried killing everyone! Well, I guess “the enemy of my enemy” and all that (despite Sarge’s grumbling), so Wash put everyone on distraction duty while he stabilized Caboose. In the ensuing firefight, the Meta escaped, so Wash drafted the Reds into helping him.
As far as Caboose went, he was in some sort of coma, mumbling something about “memory”. Wash left to talk with Command, so Church took the opportunity to enter Caboose’s mind (like he did when he forced Omega out) There, he found a remnant of Delta who had a message for Church to give to Wash: “Memory Is The Key” before Church left Caboose’s mind. and Caboose woke up
…oops. So much for keeping his “ghost” status a secret!
While everyone argued while trying to explain The Blood Gulch Chronicles to Wash (in a way that was FAR more confusing that what I wrote), Wash spilled the BIG secret of the Red/Blue Civil War: it was all a simulation designed to train the REAL soldiers in the war against the Covenant (primarily Project Freelancer). The Reds and Blues were little more than Training Dummies.
While Wash set the Reds to find out if there were any vehicles still intact, Church gave Wash the message from Delta. Suddenly, Wash wanted to move out…NOW…because he knew how to stop the Meta and his AI’s!
Therefore, Wash took the team to the Command Center for Project Freelancer! Unfortunately, none of the vehicles worked, so they needed to secure them from elsewhere.
Later, after YET ANOTHER failed attempt to steal vehicles, Wash went to save the Reds…AGAIN!...and they finally had enough vehicles to get to Command. After some tense negotiations (involving Grif being demoted back to Private), Sarge volunteered the Reds to come along. But how do they get in?
Caboose actually came up with the plan: they drive there! No, really! They took the Freelancer vehicles and posed as Recovery Agents! Somehow, this worked! However…
…they picked up a hitchhiker.
However, now they needed to get into the AI Storage Facility. Wash took Church and told the others to go nuts causing havoc as a distraction.
Sarge’s idea of a “distraction” was to have Simmons get into Command’s database and delete all of the Blues from it. During the reprogramming, “Command” (to wit, them) received a distress call from someone who sounded familiar…maybe it was the “Bow Chicka Bow Wow” during the sign-off (Where is Tucker during all this, anyway?)
Eventually, Church and Wash reached the storage facility, where Wash told Church about how they got the various AI: by torturing the Alpha until it ejected portions of its personality out of self-preservation, and each fragment was a new AI. Eventually they found what they’re looking for, but it wasn't the Alpha; it was Epsilon (which was the Alpha’s memory)
Wash explains that when he interfaced with Epsilon, he learned EVERYTHING about Project Freelancer, and now he intended on taking Epsilon to the Authorities to take down the Director.
But wait, what about the Alpha? That was when Wash sprung the Big Reveal about Church:
OK, that’s all well and good, but they still needed to get off the base!
Naturally, that was when the Meta showed up.
Wash sent Caboose and the Reds to take Epsilon to safety and turn it into the Authorities while he and Church dealt with the Meta using an EMP that would kill the Meta’s Ai’s (Wait, didn’t you just say Church is an AI?) However, Church said fuck that and decided to leave with the others (not that he thought he was an AI. He just hated everyone and wanted nothing to do with any of this!)
Sure enough, the Meta headed after Wash (and all the juicy AIs in the facility) as the others drove, hopefully, far enough that the EMP wouldn’t affect Epsilon (and Church, right?)
However, deep within the facility, Wash was mortally wounded by the Meta (at the Director’s behest, THE RAT BASTARD!!), but before the Meta can deliver the kill shot…
…It turned out that Church believed Wash after all!
Then the EMP went off ending Season 6, but not before the Director’s final message to the Chairman revealed exactly who the Alpha was based on…
(Thanks to WonderingThrough)
Thus ends the Saga of Private Church.
…or does it? More on that a bit later. But first...
Following the downfall of Project Freelancer, the Reds and Caboose were given the bases in Valhalla (as shown in the miniseries Relocated, available on Rooster Teeth’s website or behind your favorite paywall)
Sarge was getting ready to wipe the Blues (or…Caboose) off the face of the universe, but Command had no clue what the hell the “Blue Army” was (since he had Simmons delete the Blues) Meanwhile, Caboose was salvaging parts from the wreckage of Tex’s ship (they still hadn’t removed that?!) for a “secret project”
…involving the Epsilon AI (Wait, weren’t they supposed to turn that over as evidence?) when Donut showed up, claiming Tucker was in trouble. Caboose had the bright Idea (yeah, I know) to call…
After he took down Project Freelancer, Wash was imprisoned. After the call from Caboose (in which he found out that Caboose still had Epsilon), he made a deal with the Chairman (the other half of the narrated exchange from last season) to retrieve Epsilon.
Back at Valhalla, Caboose snuck Epsilon into the Reds’ holographic simulation room (yes, they have one of those; Check out Relocated for info on how they got it (TL;DW: Lopez built it)) and Epsilon was able to communicate with Caboose, telling him to go to the desert Donut described, as there could be a way for it to get a new body. For whatever reason, Grif and Sarge agreed to help while Simmons and Donut guarded the base.
They arrived at Tucker’s coordinates and checked in with the person in charge, a man named CT (who had a squad of humans and aliens). CT was very eager to get Our Heroes out of their dig site as quickly as possible, but since their Warthog was damaged (since they had to drive through a minefield to get there), CT offered to assist them so they could leave faster.
However, Our Heroes sensed something was off with CT and his alien friends, starting with the fact that the site didn’t have a single working radio and all of their vehicles were damaged.
Back at Valhalla (what? You didn’t think the writers would ignore them, did you?) Simmons, Donut, and Lopez got a visit from…
Back at the dig site, the structure opened revealing…
(Yeah, he got his sword back when Junior escaped the crash)
Tucker laid waste to CT’s men and called Our Heroes into the structure before he sealed it closed again. Once inside, Tucker revealed that CT killed the members of Tucker’s squad and were trying to steal the artifacts inside the structure.
However, during the exposition, Caboose disappeared, and when he reappeared…
Yep, Caboose managed to find an artifact to implant the Epsilon AI into. However, this wasn’t the Church we all know and…love? He had no memory of the events in the series thus far (having been harvested from the Alpha before the series began), but had instead been fed the history of the series through Caboose’s lens.
So now Our Heroes were trapped inside an ancient structure while the Bad Guys were trying to blow their way in.
Somehow (actually, I should say “Eventually”), this devolved into an argument/shouting match until Epsilon declared himself the Leader…and would lead as soon as he learned how to float in the right direction.
Eventually, the Bad Guys managed to breach the structure and started hunting Our Heroes. Fortunately, the aliens seemed to think Epsilon was their god…or…something.
Then one of the human Bad Guys fired a shot at Epsilon, disabling him, and…well, what do you think the aliens did when someone attacked their god? If you said “went all Jihad on their heretic asses,” you’d be correct.
In the ensuing inter-squad firefight, CT grabbed Epsilon and high-tailed it outta there with Our Heroes in pursuit. Eventually, Epsilon revived and lasered CT. Unfortunately, the surviving aliens weren’t about to let Our Heroes leave with Epsilon (actually, can we just call him Church again? He seems to be starting to regain his memories and assholishness personality), and as a result Church developed a Deity Complex.
Back at Valhalla, Simmons, Donut, and Lopez were being pursued by the Meta when they run into…
Wait, Wash was working with the Meta? Yep. The Chairman assigned Agent Maine to help Wash recover Epsilon. Wash then shot Lopez and Donut!
Some time later, Doc showed up at Valhalla after he received a call about a wounded soldier. Upon seeing Donut’s body, Simmons apologized to him.
With that, they knocked out Doc and took him prisoner along with Simmons.
Back in the desert, Sarge radioed Simmons with an update, thanks to a bit of reluctant MacGuyvering.
(Thanks to BularTheSonOfGummar)
(Why does the fact that Sarge had a plan not fill me with confidence?)
Church followed. Upon arrival, Wash captured Sarge…
…for about 30 seconds. This gave Simmons and Doc a chance to escape!
…well, Simmons anyway. The Meta punched Doc literally into a wall (to the point that he couldn't be removed)
Upon seeing Church, the Meta immediately went after him (and Church had NO idea who the Meta was) so, at Sarge’s suggestion, led the Meta away from the battle. The group eventually managed to evade the Meta and Wash and escape after Church fired his laser at Wash and lost power. They then returned to the desert.
Unfortunately for a certain purple-clad medic, Wash hadn’t forgotten about him. They interrogated Doc and decided to take him with them for some reason. The problem was, he was still stuck in the wall, and not even the Meta could free him.
Later (after they returned to the desert), it was revealed that Epsilon had “memories” of the other AI fragments that were able to manifest (They found this out when Delta appeared and revealed that seeing Wash loosened Epsilon’s older memories and he would start getting obsessed with them) Speaking of, when Church actually revived, he pulled Caboose aside for a secret side mission.
Naturally, the Reds followed
…leaving Tucker to deal with a bunch of pissed off aliens. Nice, guys! Though Tucker did manage to trick the aliens long enough to run away.
Church eventually led Caboose (and pretty much everyone else from a distance) to the secret storage lab of Project Freelancer. Naturally, the facility’s computer (the Freelancer Integrated Logistics and Security System, or F.I.L.S.S., that has the same voice as Sheila) was still operational, but she recognized Church’s voice, calling him “Director”, and let Church and Caboose in. Thanks to the mistaken identity, they gained access to the Director’s private lab.
Back in the desert, Wash and the Meta dragged Doc’s wall with them (Sheesh, I know the Meta’s strong and all, but that’s a bit much) About that time, the aliens show up, very angry that their god and their scapegoat are missing.
In the Director’s lab, Church and Caboose found a legion of robotic bodies in blue armor.
However, that’s not what Church was looking for. He quickly found it as the Reds arrived after “explaining” to F.I.L.S.S. (with Sarge’s shotgun) that she should let them in.
In the desert, (after dealing with the aliens), Wash and the Meta finally got around to freeing Doc…with grenades (couldn’t they have tried that before they left Valhalla?) and learned where everyone went.
Back in the lab, the Reds arrived at the Director’s lab arrived just as The Reveal was shown:
OH SHIT! Tex does NOT look happy!
(Thanks to Rooster Teeth)
Oh, you knew Church would get an actual body eventually! Also, what the hell is Church going to do against Tex? She just wiped the floor with four of his fellow cast members!
Suddenly, Tex’s armor seized up thanks to Caboose in the control room (wait, he actually did something right? Way to go, Caboose!) Unfortunately, whatever Caboose did seized up everyone else’s armor too (Caboose, you idiot!)
Back in the desert, Team Wash found Epsilon’s storage unit (Caboose left it behind after Epsilon became a floating ball) and converted it to a capture unit so they could grab Epsilon from wherever it transferred to.
Eventually, Caboose figured out how to reverse whatever he did, but left Tex frozen because… well, he didn’t want her to kill everyone. Church then entered Tex’s “brain” to talk with her (he can do that since he’s an AI, remember?) After a heart-to-heart (more like an attitude-to-attitude), Tex agreed to not kill everyone. She then asked Church to get her access to her files.
What she found was disturbing. There were no files on the Director, Church, or Tex. However, she found the location of a Freelancer safe house and went to arm up before investigating it. After she left, F.I.L.S.S. asked Church (who she still thought was the Director) if he’d like to make a journal entry. Instead, he asked to hear one of the entries. It was about Tex.
Church then looked for Tex, who was headed for the safe house. Church told her that he was coming, while the rest said, “Fuck that!”
Upon reaching the safe house, Tex reveals a bit of history: This was where the Alpha was stored until Tex and the other Freelancers tries to rescue it…him…whatever. Well, that was a bust. What now?
Back at the storage facility, Simmons managed to restore the Blues (sorta; F.I.L.S.S. had a backup) and Simmons made a horrible discovery (that Wash had already told them): the Reds and Blues were there to provide practice for the REAL soldiers in Project Freelancer.
This sent Sarge into a funk and he looked for a private corner of the facility to hole up in.
Back at the safe house, Tex said she was going after the Director, but no one knows how to find him.
Oh, that sounds like a BAD idea! And besides, how would she find—
Then, Tex shot Church, activating his recovery beacon, letting Wash know EXACTLY where they are!
Back at the Storage Facility, F.I.L.S.S. announced that Church’s recovery beacon had activated. Caboose immediately went to ask for help in rescuing Church.
(Thanks to Jarid Goodwin)
Back at the safe house, Wash, the Meta, and Doc arrived, where they were ambushed by Tex.
Thus, it was over. All that was left was to turn the Capture Device on Church…only the Meta refused to hand over the Device. Instead, he intended to use the Device to take Church as his new AI! There was only one thing that stood in his way: Wash.
Then the Cavalry (of a sort) showed up!
Unfortunately, the unit was too damaged to let Tex out, so Church went in to get her, but the unit shut down before they could be extracted.
Later, when the Chairman’s men showed up, Our Heroes were debriefed and sent back to Valhalla (after taking the Epsilon storage unit)
…not realizing there was an extra soldier. Yep, Wash was forgiven by Our Heroes for his role in this mess.
We close out with the storage unit, which was too damaged to be of any use to the Chairman.
Once again, that should have been the end of Church’s story, but you know they’ll find a way to bring him back! You’ll have to check out the next chapter to find out how!
