I'm here for the gays

A sometimes fun diet-free lesbian. DNF/DNI if you're a TERF. Or do, it's fun to block.

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I hate living and being alive

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Nikki should have her lawyer subpoena the one wish willow customer service line, if they were a proper company the phone call would've been recorded and it would establish that the wish was real and therefore real Nikki didn't kill anyone, Bear did.

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I was thinking about this more and I'll go one step further - Nikki should take Ian's billion dollars, hire a good lawyer, and sue One Wish Willow. Like, if Alani can get sued because the text that said caffeine is bad wasn't big enough, One Wish Willow can be held responsible for allowing wishes that steal someone else's autonomy, and all the deaths that resulted because of it. Make them at LEAST put a warning label on it that says that it's dangerous to wish for love spells, or a text that says the wish maker is legally responsible for any crimes committed by others as a result of the wish. Call this the Karen alternate ending.

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Sleeping is less a need and more yet another thing that causes anxiety in my life because I can never sleep and I’m anxious cuz I can never sleep

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Nikki should have her lawyer subpoena the one wish willow customer service line, if they were a proper company the phone call would've been recorded and it would establish that the wish was real and therefore real Nikki didn't kill anyone, Bear did.

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“You need 8 hours of sleep to get the most out of your exercising!” Can you let my body know that please 😭 my body is the worst body on planet earth and I can’t sleep even though I exercised

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It’s also really fun how there’s only like five methods available apparently to get you to sleep and if they don’t work you’re just fucked and you’re forced to be tired AND suicidal at work

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“You need 8 hours of sleep to get the most out of your exercising!” Can you let my body know that please 😭 my body is the worst body on planet earth and I can’t sleep even though I exercised

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No one wants me to kill myself more than my own body

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I'm done resting when I'm tired and sleepy. Clearly my body doesn't want to actually fucking sleep when I'm giving it the chance so too bad so sad, I'm doing a full workout. Fuck you.

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I hate when I try to take melatonin to actually sleep and my mind just goes “nah, no sleep, can I instead interesting you in yet another reason you should drive your car into oncoming traffic”

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

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Insomnia so bad I took an extra dose of Benadryl because I don’t have any melatonin and my body is still dealing with the caffeine I drank 11 hours ago.

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Oopsie, I didn’t fall as,eep during the 30-second window that I was super exhausted, now I’m not gonna sleep at all because I have the worst body ever and my insomnia is going to be the death of me.

[halethleia]

everybody: hello ryland you are now the Main Character ryland: Yikes!! No Thanks!

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I hate when I'm thinking of offing myself and then Noah Kahan releases a new song snippet and it's like "FUCK, now I gotta stay alive cuz I wanna blast the whole song in my car when it's released". Man is forcing me to go back to my classic survival method of "kick the can down the road". God damn.

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I hate when I’m googling how to fall asleep NOW and the article is like “make sure you do this before bed!!” and it’s like I don’t have a Time Machine, Janet, I need to sleep now, not tomorrow after I do the magic steps to get my body to function normally.

[tastylemonbread]

posts i think about: thursday edition

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I took a full dose of melatonin and all it did was give me extra sleepy insomnia 😭😭😭😭 if sleep is so important, why doesn’t my body want it