Others know me as Patches. Or Inu-papa. Or "Hey, you." But I am one fast moon. Inuyasha Drama Translations Inuyasha Novelization Translation Inu-papa.com Inu Goya DeviantArt
The next chapter in my continuing quest to torture the FF6 Pixel Remaster code. This time, how to farm unlimited copies of the Ragnarok sword and Cursed Shield.
Happy birthday, General Leo! For your birthday this year, I made it so that the fake-out ending was the actual ending and you got to live your dream of peace between humans and espers, and Kefka just rotted away in jail for the rest of his life.
The only reference I have for Yura is his sprite, and since his sprite has spiky hair and big muscles, I went full DBZ on his design, lol.
Japanese text is his dialogue from the game for this scene: "It shames me that we thought of your people as nothing but weapons of war. We were on the brink of repeating the mistakes of the War of the Magi..."
This isn't to argue that they should, just that, statistically, about 20% of the population would. There's the saying "Fascism is when 1/3 of the population is trying to kill another 1/3 while the other 1/3 watches". And any time you put out a survey with one obviously bad/wrong response, you are always going to get some percentage of people picking that one anyway, either as a troll, or because they weren't paying attention, or because they genuinely believe it.
And as anyone from [insert country here] is painfully familiar with, no matter how much of an openly obvious piece of shit someone is, they still end up having a baffling number of ardent supporters.
And yet Kefka has 0% support from anyone in the Empire. Zero.
People say that Leo is the one good man in the Empire, but if you actually pay attention to what other Imperials say, I would say he's not alone. In fact, he seems to represent the majority attitude.
Leo is universally beloved by the soldiers and Kefka is universally despised. Which means that, across the entire Empire, the general citizenry agree with Leo's worldview over Kefka's. Hell, they actively reject Kefka's on more than one occasion when Kefka promotes genocide.
Then when you actually go to the Empire, many of the people you talk to are either completely cool with you being members of the "insurgency", or are even actively on your side.
Then there's the 24 soldiers you have to talk to before the banquet. Their responses range from remorseful, to neutral, to a few openly hostile (three of them attack you, but one is just to test your strength, not out of actual antagonism). But again, none of them defended Kefka.
So here we have this universally-reviled person, who is then made the right-hand man of Emperor Gestahl and this somehow... fails to reflect badly on Gestahl? Since the citizenry mostly seem to be willing to follow him. Even Leo is devoutly loyal to him.
So what the hell is going on here? We have a nation of people who:
Think that Leo and his respect for all life, friend or foe, is the ideal man.
Think that Kefka and his sadistic disregard for life is a piece of shit.
Think that Gestahl, who employs both of the above, is also great
Then again, we see above that there are plenty of Imperial citizens who are actively rooting for the Returners, so support for Gestahl may actually be more 50/50. You have the half who think that Leo is a representation of Gestahl's true motives and that Kefka is an aberration, so they're still willing to follow Gestahl as long as he has Leo's support. And then you have the half who see Kefka as the representation of Gestahl's true motives and he's just using his association with Leo for good PR, so they're pro-Returners.
So then the biggest mystery is why Leo follows Gestahl. He didn't fall for the PR, because he is the PR. Leo's whole personality is about being genuine and above board, so it's not like he's faking the loyalty, either.
Best I can think of is that Leo has an extreme case of "You don't know him like I do, I can fix him", and refuses to give up on anybody. Because he already shows this behavior towards Kefka, attempting to appeal to his conscience.
Because Leo's greatest strength is also his greatest weakness: He believes all people are worthwhile and deserve his respect. Even the ones who don't.
In that way, Kefka actually does have exactly one supporter. And it's the person he hates most.
(Highlighted Japanese text reads: "Hates: General Leo")
Ranking all the Single-Player Mainline Final Fantasy Games
Now that I've finally finished all 14 single-player mainline Final Fantasy titles, I wanted to give my personal rankings and opinions of them. I have played the free trial of FFXIV, too, but since the trial is always 3 expansions behind "current", that's not really "finished". Plus with the relative inaccessibility of XI due to needing to commit to a subscription to even try it, I'm just disregarding the MMOs completely.
So here's my personal thoughts on all of the rest:
14. Final Fantasy XII
Version Played: Original PS2 console release
What I liked: The aesthetic of this game is pretty cool. The voice acting is leaps and bounds above their first attempt at voicing a game with FFX. I like the Gambit system and being able to set up automation routines for each character. Fran and Balthier are cool. Larsa is best boy and should be protected at all costs.
What I didn't like: It takes itself way too seriously. This game went more into the "hard" fantasy tropes, and did away with a lot of the whimsy of the previous titles. To that end, it's boring. This game bored me. The first time I played it, I was left with the feeling, "I put 100 hours into this game and I don't feel like I accomplished anything." Years later I tried to replay it to see if maybe I was just too young to appreciate it, but I got to about the point where I get Reddas and just gave up because I was bored. The cast just doesn't really click with each other and feel like they're being forced to work on a group project together and only care about interacting with one another until the project gets done.
Final Verdict: This game, to me, feels like busy work with nothing I do really mattering. Pretty much every segment follows the sequence of: 1. We need to go find some shiny important object. 2. Once we find shiny important object, the screen fades to black and a narration starts up about how Offscreen Plot Happening caused our important shiny object to not matter anymore. 3. So now we need to go find a DIFFERENT important shiny object. Repeat forever. And also throw in some B.S. "you can't ride the taxi until you accumulate enough gossip points" manufactured padding that leads to a frustratingly boring game. This game also started the trend which got progressively worse with each game after, of not being able to control your entire party, which makes it difficult to get as attached to them when their actions are rendered "hands off". At least here you had control over what those hands-off actions were, but that's still not enough to save it from the bottom spot.
13. Final Fantasy III
Version Played: NDS 3D Remake
What I liked: This game is sort of the prototype of a lot of Final Fantasy mainstays that were perfected later. The class system where each class has a different special ability, the summons, and needing to lean into those special abilities to handle boss gimmicks. Is also the only game in the series with an old lady party member, albeit temporary (though runner-up goes to Edea in VIII, though I figure she's only in her late 30's or 40, so while she isn't really "old", that's still ancient by JRPG party member standards).
What I didn't like: What do you mean Phoenix Downs are a limited resource that can't be bought?! What do you mean ethers and tents aren't a thing and the only way to restore MP while in a dungeon is an even more limited Elixir? And you're giving me a set number of spells I can cast before I run out of MP? And the only alternative is magic-casting items which can also not be bought? And now you're giving me back-to-back final dungeons with four superbosses before the final boss and nowhere to save? Thank goodness for the item duplication glitch in the NDS version where I could just give the middle finger to those limitations, else this game would have been unbearably frustrating.
Final Verdict: Even with the item duplication glitch meaning I had infinite Phoenix Downs and Elixirs at my disposal and could just Lilith Kiss everything to death while healing myself, leveling in this game is painfully slow until you get to the Sunken Cave and can actually get a worthwhile amount of EXP. Job levels are easier to get, but they don't really do anything besides increase the hit count on your attacks, which doesn't do much if the bosses are just party-wiping you because your HP and defense are too low. And since playing the game the "right way" means you only get a couple dozen Phoenix Downs ever, you need to make sure you're leveled to the point that no one can get KOed. Which takes even longer. With FFI and FFII I felt like difficulty scaled fairly reasonably with just regular game progression, but this was the first one where even with infinite item cheats, I still felt I needed to grind to even have a shot at surviving. I like that the guest party members don't take up a party slot, though the unreliability of when they jump in to help makes them fairly useless, especially the healers. The story is also pretty bare-bones compared to the narrative upgrade we had with FFII, going back to the "you are four legendary warriors destined to beat the bad guy because reasons", so this felt like a step backwards. Though I was amused that the "actually we were all orphans raised by Cid but none of us remember it" plot widely panned in VIII originated here.
12. Final Fantasy I
Version Played: GameBoy Advance (Dawn of Souls)
What I liked: Per the above image, Black Mage go brrrr. The game is actually decently well-balanced if you have a sufficiently diverse party (I did Warrior, Monk, Black Mage, White Mage). I never really found myself struggling difficulty-wise, though the final battle with Chaos is looong compared to all other boss battles. I thought the Monk was kind of a trash class until I realized that the "Optimize" equipment command was always forcing a weapon on him, when actually Monks are strongest empty-handed, and suddenly he was OP.
What I didn't like: I mean, for the very first game, the story IS pretty bare-bones. Your four characters have zero personality or backstory. And while navigating where I was supposed to go on the first continent was doable enough, once the explorable area expanded, it got difficult to keep track of which NPC wanted which McGuffin and which order you needed to find and deliver them in order to unlock the thing that would give you access to the next McGuffin. Unlike the later games, the different classes don't have any specialized abilities aside from the mages having access to magic. Thief doesn't even steal? Then what's it good for?
Final Verdict: Since it's the very first game that laid the groundwork for everything to come later, I can't really be too hard on it for not living up to what came after. It was decently enjoyable for what it was, though the mostly lack of story or characterization beyond "You are the four legendary heroes, go beat the bad guy who's just bad for reasons" wasn't particularly compelling, haha. And weird time loop stuff of "I sent the four fiends forward in time so that they could send me back in time" where it's like... why, and how did this start? But sudden nonsensical reveal towards the end is also kind of a Final Fantasy staple.
11. Final Fantasy XVI
Version Played: PC Steam Edition
What I liked: I like Clive as a main character. He has kind of a Ramza-like "born into royalty but fights for the common man" thing going on (though, unlike Ramza, it took him being sold into slavery to get there). Cid is also the best Cid in the entire franchise and single-handedly carries the portion of the game he's in. The battle soundtracks are pretty great, and the cinematography in some of them is cool, especially the Titan and Bahamut battles.
What I didn't like: Like XII, this game suffers from taking itself way too seriously and losing all the whimsy of the rest of the series. Ooo, look at us be all Game of Thrones edgy! We pepper all our dialogue with gratuitous F-bombs because that makes us "mature" and not Eric Cartman! Also, my complaint of lack of ability to control the other party members that started with XII culminates here in just... getting rid of the other party members entirely. Yeah, you occasionally have tag-along guest members who just do their own thing, but they're so inconsequential they may as well not be there. Then you have the Eikon abilities, which ultimately are just different-colored sparklies because elemental weaknesses/resistances aren't actually a thing here, so there's no strategy beyond "press button and enemy go boom". The gameplay itself has two settings which are "memorize 20 guitar chords to finger your different moves" or "mash X to win".
Final Verdict: This game ultimately feels like it's trying to be a copycat of other things that were popular at the time, namely Game of Thrones and Devil May Cry, with a veneer of Final Fantasy laid on top of it in the form of the classic summons. Which is honestly not really a good look, because Final Fantasy is supposed to be a brand in and of itself that does its own thing and makes that the standard. And I think that's where the complaints of "It's not a real Final Fantasy" game are ultimately coming from. Not that there's necessarily a specific formula that makes something a true "Final Fantasy", but rather that it feels like something we've already seen before from someone else, just reskinned with a Final Fantasy facade. But its characters and story are at least compelling enough to make it not the bottom of the list. But since I don't have the dexterity for action-based games, every time the red circle shows up, I just hear Piccolo screaming, "DOOOOOOODGE!" and then I get hit anyway because I keep forgetting which button RB is.
10. Final Fantasy IV
Version Played: NDS 3D Remake
What I liked: This was the first game in the series to make its party members actual characters, with unique personalities and backstories. It's also the game that associated a fixed class with each of those character types, which became a standard going forward. In the DS version, I appreciated that you had the ability to teach guest party member abilities to other characters so that you didn't just completely lose access to them once those party members left.
What I didn't like: Unlike every other game in the series, you have zero input on your party composition. Even though your classes were fixed in FFI, you at least got to pick what they were. In this game, though, you're often required to carry characters who are useless in certain fights (*cough*Edward*cough*) and there's really nothing you can do about it. The power scaling in this game is also horribly unbalanced. If I can beat the final boss of one dungeon, I should not be getting one-shot by the first trash mob of the next dungeon, requiring me to level-grind in between each time before I can realistically proceed.
Final Verdict: This game started the real narrative- and character-focused nature of the following games, and I appreciate it for that. I like Cecil as a protagonist, and it has a generally good cast of supporting characters. Though, it does get kind of ridiculous in constantly resorting to a character having a fake-out death in order to justify removing them from the party in order to make room for the next guest character. Though, it's hard to really draw the line as to who is really a "guest" character in this, since everybody except Cecil gets regularly rotated in and out of the party. You could argue that the party you end up with in the final battle are the "permanent" members, but I'd struggle to say that Edge has more story relevance than, say, Yang (Yang is also a better unit. Sorry, Edge, you kinda suck and keep dying).
9. Final Fantasy XV
Version Played: Windows Edition
What I liked: Get in the car, bitches, we're going road-tripping. The character dynamics between Noctis's friends were what made the whole game. I'd complained that XII's party felt like people begrudgingly working together on a group project, but XV's cast feels like an actual group of friends. And while it does suffer from the whole "can't control the other party members", you at least have trigger commands for them that you can set to command them to do certain things at a time of your direction. The photo log at the end of each day is also funny as heck.
What I didn't like: People call this an "incomplete game" and it very much is. While the base gameplay loop feels fleshed out, the story feels hurriedly tacked on in the background, and especially once you get to Altissia and the Imperial continent, suddenly you're given this huge map but aren't allowed to do anything on it aside from extremely restricted corners. The bros each leave the party at certain points and then come back like, "Things happened to me, but you'll need a DLC to know what". The game seems to realize how unfinished the back half is to the point that it gives you the magic time-travel dog to let you return to the open world of the first half for no real plot-relevant reason. Also, at least on the PC version, the interaction triggers are horribly tuned. I was constantly running back and forth in front of doors and buttons trying to find the exact right pixel to stand on to trigger the option to interact with it. There were a few times I had to reset the game because it would not give me the option to talk to someone to turn in a quest because there was another interactable object too close that was stealing priority.
Final Verdict: While the game itself is a mess, it's still endearing, and has some of the whimsy of older titles that I've been missing in the modern ones. I ended up doing every single hunt and sidequest that was available to me as soon as I could do them and ended up laughably over-leveled by the end, to the point that I beat Ardyn in a single Armiger. The game is also insanely forgiving with KOs. I only had a single game-over the entire time, and it was because I crashed the car while following Ardyn since usually I just have Ignis drive (and this is WHY). But honestly, this game was more entertaining as a sandbox open world game where you were just dicking around with your bros. It started losing itself when it tried to integrate an actual plot, which was mostly nonsensical.
8. Final Fantasy XIII
Version Played: PC Steam Edition
What I liked: I decided to play this game because of Sazh, and he did not disappoint. I am such a sucker for Big Dad Energy, you have no idea. I see all sorts of people ragging on this game because it's "linear", but you know what? I liked that about it. No bullshit mandatory sidequests at every story juncture like in XII. Just a straight-shot through the story with minimal distraction. I also really like Hope, surprisingly enough. People say he's whiny, but can you really blame him? He's the epitome of "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" and is pissed off that his mom got killed and he got dragged into being cursed because everyone around him (mostly Snow) is Leeroy Jenkins-ing into everything.
What I didn't like: WHY. AM. I. LEVEL. CAPPED. UNTIL. CERTAIN. CHECKPOINTS?! I like being comfortably strong to just bulldoze through everything, but this game forbade me from doing that by putting a ceiling on how high I could level until I reached a particular boss. This game also has the issue of having no control of the other party members aside from assigning them a broad "role", but the AI still decides what they do with that role and you have no input into it. And the AI has decided that, no, if you have two Commandos, they are not going to help each other burst down that staggered enemy together, they are always going to target different enemies. If you're afflicted with a million status ailments, no, your Medic is not going to use Esuna on you unless everyone in the party is at least at 90% health, which if you're poisoned, is never going to happen.
Final Verdict: This game only gets a higher ranking than XV because it has the superior story, which is a higher priority to me. And XIII's story about the government declaring a certain minority to be an existential threat for simply existing and sending masked goon squads to wipe out entire neighborhoods just for their association with them in the name of "national security" is... prescient. The whole Barthandalus thing is fairly nonsensical, but... eh, it's the character-driven part of the story that matters. I also really appreciated that Snow actually got some comeuppance and self-reflection for being such a showboating asshole, because I was not expecting it to actually be addressed. I absolutely could not stand Snow in the first half and was 100% on Team Hope, and was worried that it was going to end up with, "No, but Snow is actually a cool hero dude and Hope is just a whiny bitch who needs to learn to deal", but no! And people saying the game "gets good" once they get to Pulse is actually where the game lost me, because that's where the plot that had been going so well up until then ground to a halt. Also, while I do appreciate the lack of filler padding, the utter lack of anything to interact with made the world feel exceptionally small. We're fighting to save Cocoon because it's important to everyone, but we don't really get to experience any of it.
7. Final Fantasy II
Version Played: GameBoy Advance (Dawn of Souls)
(couldn't find any actual gifs from the GBA version, so DFFOO is here in its place)
What I liked: While the leveling system in this game is frustrating, I kind of appreciated it, in that it really felt like we were absolute novice adventurers who had no idea what we were doing to start out with, and had to legitimately work for our skills. And unlike FFI, this one has an actual plot and stakes. The Emperor is a persistent and real threat who causes a lot of damage that directly affects gameplay. I am also just chuffed that the most badass character in the game is a male white mage.
What I didn't like: Okay, they told me to go to Fynn, so I'm gonna walk that way and maybe take two steps out of the way this direction and what the hell, why is this monster 20x stronger than anything I've seen, now I am instantly dead. The Keyword/Item system was also frustrating because sometimes you just needed to ask someone every word you knew or show them your entire inventory until it triggered something because it wasn't entirely obvious what they were looking for. Kashuan Keep was a spot I especially got stuck at, since Hilda was quite clear I needed to go there, but I couldn't get in, so I asked around literally everywhere and the only thing people were telling me was I needed to go to Kashuan and get the magic fire or whatever. I had to find a guide to learn that I actually needed to talk to the dying king who was in a completely out-of-the-way room I didn't realize existed and where no one had directed me, to be given a different direction than the one that was given to me through natural story progress.
Final Verdict: While this game was the first one with pre-named characters and an overall story, Firion and the party were still pretty much blank slates with no personality or backstory, much like the FFI cast. We know Guy speak Beaver, and that's about the extent of their personal lore. Still, the story was surprisingly dark and brutal for an entry this early, especially with how tame the first game was. I honestly didn't mind the leveling system much (though I think it got re-tooled a bit for the GBA version so that your HP gain wasn't solely dependent on your received HP damage). MP was a little bit of a struggle, since once you leveled up a spell, you could never use a lower-cost version of that spell again, and it took a lot of spellcasting to trigger a max MP gain. Thankfully by the end of the game I had millions of gil so just bought 99 ethers and all was well, anyway. Also, Blood Sword against the final boss is absolutely broken and I am here for all of that cheese.
6. Final Fantasy V
Version Played: GameBoy Advance
What I liked: FFIII walked so that FFV could run, in terms of the job system. While leveling up a job in FFIII didn't really do anything besides give you more weapon hits, in FFV you gain new skills and passives as you level a job, which gives you more incentive to do so. Plus, you can equip those skills as a secondary job so that you can customize combinations of skills for each character, so if you need a certain skill to counter a particular boss gimmick, that character isn't rendered totally useless for any other task. The game is also quite light-hearted compared to previous entries.
What I didn't like: Despite having a quite small cast, the characters aren't particularly well developed with the exception of Galuf. The story is also about as simplistic as FFIII's, with "four legendary warriors come to stop the evil force who wants to return the world to the void because that just be what they do." While not quite as bad as FFIV, it also still has issues with difficulty balancing, with some areas requiring significantly higher levels than you would naturally be through regular gameplay.
Final Verdict: I like FFV for its gameplay more than its story and characters, since trying out new job combinations and see how well they work in certain situations is fun. It also has a convenient job level grinding cheese, where you can just cast L5 Death on monsters in Galuf's basement that massively over-level you, for a huge pile of JP for that point in the game. Plus there's a convenient save point and inn right outside to replenish your MP. And I'm a person who honestly likes being overpowered for fights since I usually just play games for the story and characters and don't want to have to worry about getting stuck somewhere because I'm not strong enough. But this game had an interesting enough battle system that the actual battle mechanics kept me engaged, too.
5. Final Fantasy VIII
Version Played: Original PSX console
What I liked: This game is just so damn silly. All of the characters are goofy, except for Squall who is so serious it just makes it even more funny. Where your greatest powers come not from defeating monsters in battle, but opponents in card games. And everyone is up to play cards all. The. Time. Monsters rampaging through town? Let's play cards! Space station is about to explode? Still got time for cards. End of the world? Caaards! And it's a pretty fun card game, too, which is good. Then you've got ridiculous attacks like shooting a dog from a crossbow and circling the world to throw a punch. Ah, whimsy, I am here for you.
What I didn't like: The Junction system is needlessly convoluted and basically punishes you for using magic because it depletes your stats. Your junctions also regularly get completely messed up when you get a forced party change and everyone gets their junctions un-equipped. You spend all your time early game just drawing 99 copies of a spell every battle, which is tedious. Then due to Squall always being mandatory, he ends up massively over-leveled compared to the rest of the party, and since the monster levels scale with the party average, you have Squall one-shotting everything while everyone else is struggling to keep up. The plot also runs out of steam once you get to Esthar and ends up just one long exposition dump of "Here's the things we need to go do" and then we just do that.
Final Verdict: I know a lot of people don't like VIII for various reasons, but I like it precisely because of how dumb it is. And it is very self-aware of its dumbness, which makes it all the better. The first half of the game is just zany friend-group shenanigans akin to XV, and I'm into that. And like XV, it starts to stumble over itself towards the end when it tries to remember it has a plot. The final dungeon is also, like, ungodly long, and some of the puzzles I'm not sure how you figure out without a guide. But it still makes the top 5 because I very much appreciate the overall "vibes" of the game, even if it struggles in its mechanics and story.
4. Final Fantasy VII
Version Played: Original PSX console
What I liked: If this game solely consisted of disk 1, it would by vying for the top spot. I liked that the villain was the recognizable evil of "greedy corporation hoarding the planet's resources while making everyone else suffer." The materia system offers some absolutely broken combinations, like allowing Counter to trigger like 10 summons of Knights of The Round, allowing you to defeat Emerald Weapon without even pressing a button. I like Barret, Tifa, and Red XIII, and Cloud and Aerith are at least tolerable. The storytelling is tight and the gamplay is varied enough to keep me engaged. It also manages to keep itself from getting too serious, with goofy stuff like the cross-dressing quest and Sailor Red XIII.
What I didn't like: But all of the above only applies to disk 1. Once you hit disk 2, the story starts treading water and gets padded out with things like the Giant Materia quests. The focus falls off the evil corporation and now it's... dude who's dead but not dead who we just single-mindedly follow across the planet, who wants to drop a meteor on the planet because he has mommy issues. Like... what? Also, Cloud ended up absolutely losing me after the journey into his mind and finding out that everything he did was to impress Tifa and not because he had any actual ambitions or goals, and then he failed to join Soldier and had basically just been cosplaying Zack the entire time. And Tifa's just like, "Awh, poor baby has brain damage, I forgive you."
Final Verdict: As much as everyone loves Sephiroth, I honestly feel like he is a detriment to the game's story. If he had just been a super-soldier who was created by the evil corporation to protect its assets from the poors and go steal more, and then realized what he had been doing and decided to go scorched-earth against the evil corporation, that might have been more interesting. But, no, he decides to go scorched-earth because he finds out he has alien DNA that he's decided makes him the rightful ruler of the planet or something and also has an unhealthy obsession with Cloud. And at that point he stops being something recognizable as villain archetype we face in real life, and just "doing random evil shit because that be how I do", just with pseudo-philosophical bullshit speeches layered on top of it to give it the illusion of having any kind of recognizable motive attached to it. I haven't played Remake, but I've watched a playthrough, and I feel it does the story a disservice by bringing in Sephiroth so early, because it already shows that our fight against capitalism isn't important. Disk 1 is a fantastic game, potentially the best in the series, but the back half drags it down hard to the point that it can't crack the top 3 for me.
3/2. Final Fantasy IX
Version Played: Original PSX console
I kept on swapping the rankings of the next two because I couldn't decide which to rank above the other. I decided that since I like and dislike them for different reasons, it was hard to compare them directly, so they just both ended up tied for 2nd and 3rd as a compromise.
What I liked: Vivi, my son. You are precious and no one must ever hurt you. I also love Steiner and how he has his own sound-effect when he runs and is just this idiotic oaf who then actually goes through some pretty good character development. I'm also addicted to Chocobo Hot and Cold and would always just exhaust every available chocograph as soon as they become available. The story is pretty solid and doesn't fall into complete nonsense until the very last second, but we'll get to that.
What I didn't like: Steal is so unreliable, but this is a game where you need to steal from basically every boss in order to get the best stuff. And while FFVIII's card game rewarded you with amazing stuff and was generally fun and easy to play, the game never made you play it to advance. FFIX's card game rewards you with nothing and is obnoxious RNG, but there's a segment where you have to play it. And while the story is generally understandable for 99.9% of the game, suddenly the final boss is a Giant Space Flea From Nowhere.
Final Verdict: FFIX was the last Final Fantasy game that was produced by the core team who had done all the games prior, and it did feel like a send-off to the series. It incorporated the steampunk fantasy setting of many of the previous games, character classes, and ability learning through equipment. And while Kuja does fit the "pretentious dramatic bullshitter" villain archetype that Sephiroth made popular, at least the game came out and characterized him as over-dramatic and his underlying motives were a much more simplistic and relatable "I don't want to die". Zidane on the other hand... I wasn't really a big fan of. Both with his womanizing, and his big "You're Not Alone" sequence feeling kind of unearned. Also, Beatrix is a war criminal who never showed any remorse for committing genocide but never faced any consequences for it. Still, the good outweighs the bad enough for it to get tied for #2, and I still enjoy replaying it.
2/3. Final Fantasy X
Version Played: Original PS2 console
What I liked: FFX has THE best combat and leveling system of the entire series. I always have my entire party with me and can swap them out at any time? They each have their niche uses (except Kimahri) which you need to utilize even against trash mobs? And the sphere grid makes it so I feel like I'm making incremental progress after each battle instead of having to fight 20 battles for a single bulk stat-dump? Yes, more of this, please. Plus you can customize weapons and armor to have the specific combination of stats and effects that you want.
What I didn't like: As the first voice-acted game in the series, it's... hit and miss. And as the first fully 3D game that doesn't have pre-rendered backgrounds, the visual director didn't seem to know where to put the camera half the time and it often felt like it was just pointed at random stuff at random angles while scenes were happening. And because everything is voice-acted, everything happens at the speed of speech, and at the speed of needing to transition between two voice clips. Which is slooooow. And while the story does mostly make sense, Seymour is a weak-ass villain with a nonsensical motive, and is mostly just there to be annoying than an actual threat.
Final Verdict: Basically, IX and X tie because I like the characters and story of IX better, but the gameplay mechanics of X better. FFX often gets recommended to people as their "starter" Final Fantasy, and I honestly agree, because the mechanics are so simple yet enjoyable. And I actually do like Blitzball, and it has some decent rewards for playing it. And kind of like cards in VIII, you can just bugger off and play at the most inappropriate of times. The sidequests for the celestial weapons are super annoying, but they're also not mandatory, so I won't count that against it. FFX also is one of the only stories I've ever seen where the traditionalist magic-using civilization is the bad guys and the machine-using civilization is the oppressed good guys. Usually if there's a technologically-advanced race, they're the "evil Empire" out crushing the traditional mystical ways, but this story has it reversed, and I appreciate that.
1. Final Fantasy VI
Version Played: All of them
Yeah, if you know anything about me, you knew from the start that this one would be first.
What I liked: This was the game where Final Fantasy started showing its narrative maturity. Characters were no longer just a job class, they were an integral part of the story. And in this game everyone did have their unique base class and abilities, but were also customizable with the Esper system allowing you to direct their stat and ability growth. It is simultaneously one of the darkest entries in the franchise while also still maintaining its whimsy. The story is fulfilling without falling into the pseudo-philosophical nonsense of some of the later entries.
What I didn't like: Is there anything? Haha, actually, my biggest gripe with this game is that it bit off more than it could chew with the capacity of the SNES. 14 characters is just way too much to properly explore and flesh out, and especially in the second half of the game, they lose a lot of their individuality because there just wasn't enough cartridge space to iterate out unique scenes depending on your party composition, so the dialogue ends up generic for everybody. This leads to, like, Gau somehow being able to tell the story of the Ancient Castle.
Final Verdict: I admit that it may be the nostalgia talking given that this was my first Final Fantasy back in the 90's and it probably colored my expectations of the series as a whole. But when I replayed the game with the new translation on the GameBoy Advance years later, it was like a fresh experience to me and I was still utterly blown away by how mature the story was. I also think Kefka is still the peak villain of the series. He's not the malevolent force of nature that's evil just cuz like the previous entries, and he's not the pretentious philosophical bullshitter who is pretending he's fulfilling some grand purpose like most of the later entries. He is just a guy who keeps failing upwards because he's a useful fool to other people in power, until he goes completely off the rails and they lose control of him, and he makes that the entire world's problem. And especially nowadays, that's a much more relatable villain than "pretty boy who wants to destroy the world because mommy issues".
So, the latest Rumiko Takahashi series, MAO, finally got an anime adaptation.
This one goes back to a more Inuyasha style with isekai time-travel shenanigans to fight monsters, just now the time-traveling is only to the 1920's instead of the mid-1500's.
I actually read the manga when the series first started and... honestly couldn't really get into it. I appreciate that starting with Kyoukai no Rinne, Takahashi abandoned her previous habit of making the male and female leads physically and emotionally abusive to each other, and MAO continued the trend of them being generally civil to each other.
But after 80 some-odd chapters of the manga and introducing several generally forgettable characters, it just didn't feel like it was going anywhere. For series like Ranma or Rinne the lack of direction was okay because neither of those series promised any kind of underlying plot to begin with. It was just generally episodic comedic adventures under their respective themes of "Ranma is water-soluble trans and everyone wants a piece of him/her" and "Turns out the afterlife is also late-stage capitalist".
But MAO opens up with an over-arching mystery right off the bat. What happened to Nanoka? Who cursed Mao? Then later it just kept adding more questions with the introductions of the other characters and the promise of some kind of deeper conspiracy. But unlike Inuyasha that at least had the episodic Shikon shard collecting to give the characters some kind of motive to keep doing other things before Naraku was introduced as the new primary motivator, I don't remember the characters in MAO being particularly driven by anything at all. Like, yeah, years-old cold case mystery in the background, but barring any leads about that (which there were scant few), what's motivating them in the here and now to actually go do stuff? Just wander around and fight monsters? Like, woo, transformations. Woo, swords. But what are we even trying to do here?
And it doesn't even have Inuyasha's goofiness or over-the top characters to keep it interesting despite all that. MAO is a relatively more dramatic and violent series (given that blood is a major plot element). But that just left basically all of the characters except Otoya feeling kind of flat to me (Otoya at least has the "cheerily unfazed by any kind of weird shit" personality). Even the requisite add-on characters like Hyakka and Kamon are more like Ageha and Tsubasa from Rinne than Miroku and Sango in Inuyasha, where they don't "join the party" in any sense, but just kind of exist in the background and show up whenever the story calls for it.
Like, maybe the plot got more coherent after I dropped it (I don't remember exactly when, but it was like the fifth time it was like "here's someone else with the white hair streak and facial scar who was coincidentally also one of Mao's fellow classmates at onmyouji school", and I was finally like, "okay, is this actually going anywhere?"), so I'll give the anime a chance still. Hopefully with foresight it can start dropping actual plot threads to follow earlier than the manga did.
I was able to find some scans of one of the V-Jump FF6 articles! It's only the second two pages, but at least it's something. The text on the page also exactly matches what was in the summary I translated earlier, so that's good confirmation that the summaries are accurate.
The text on the page is the "10 secrets about the Figaro Bros" that's already translated in the above link. The comic is new, though, so I went ahead and translated that:
There's also a set of character rankings at the bottom. Poor Strago came in 16th with only one vote. Leo, Kefka, Ultros, and Gogo got more votes than him before getting to 11th place and Cyan, lol.
This is the last one that featured FF6 prominently
1996-1
This issue features FF6! (p196-199)
This issue's cover illustration is Setzer abducting Celes from the Opera House
<<Background>>
"Official Inquiries of Emperor Sakaguchi of the FF Empire" gives background on Umaro and Gogo
-- Why does Umaro work for Mog?
Sakaguchi: Mog gave Umaro some food after he collapsed. Having a strong sense of obligation, Umaro wished to return the favor afterwards.
-- Of all the things he's mimicked, which was the hardest (or most fun)?
Sakaguchi: Naturally it's "Those who would save the world". In order for mimicry to be useful, you need to actually understand your subject.
Biggs and Wedge answer reader questions
-- Can Biggs and Wedge join the party?
Biggs: Outside of the first battle, unfortunately we can't join.
Wedge: We get this question a lot. Let's convince Square to include us in the next game!
-- You two were obliterated by Valigarmanda. Did you die?
Biggs: We were sent to another dimension, and ended up in Leene Square in Chrono Trigger.
Wedge: We got picked up by Bekkler and he gave us new jobs (lol)
<<Misc>>
The Figaro Bros comment on reader submissions of Edgar in Crystal Armor and Sabin running a Takoyaki stand.
Sabin: Of course you look good in a shiny outfit. I won't lose to a crystal's shine!
Edgar: You look good as a takoyaki vendor. It suits you! (lol) I just ask that you don't eat Ultros.
Sabin: You could probably eat it if you tell yourself it's just regular octopus.
Edgar: I'll pass...
This summary also had some FF3 stuff in it that I've omitted.
1995-10
This issue features FF3 and the Figaro Bros, Part 2! (p186-189)
This issue's cover illustration is the Figaro Bros in Onion Knight gear. They look to be about 10 years old, playing in the palace.
<<All About the Kingdom of Figaro>>
Kaori Tanaka gives a timeline of Figaro as well as its people
[[Royal Family Timeline]]
Age 0: Edgar is born healthy. Sabin is born healthy. A few days later, the Figaro queen dies.
Age 3: Sabin has his finger bitten by a nutkin.
Age 8: Due to his weak physical condition, Sabin studies martial arts under Duncan Harcourt twice a week.
Age 13: Preparations begin for initiation into adulthood: the Antlion Hunt
Age 14: Even though the Antlion Hunt is imminent, Edgar pressures Sabin to go swimming in Kohlingen. Sabin catches a cold due to being in the water. When Edgar sees Sabin with a fever of nearly 40C but still not fussing about it, he feels deeply ashamed of his rash behavior. Sabin participates in the Antlion Hunt despite his illness. He ends up collapsing from dehydration, but with his brother's help, they're able to bring down the biggest Antlion in Figaro history, and are prophesized to "rule over troubled times".
Age 15: Edgar falls in love with Guinevere, a cousin of his father's 11 years older than him, but is troubled by it because she is the lover of a knight they respect, Jeffrey MacLeod. Sabin wants to be his brother's strength, but can do nothing to help.
Age 16: Guinevere is killed in an assassination plot against the king led by their uncle, Cardinal Francis Laverne. The plot fails, and the uncle is jailed.
Age 17: The king dies. Edgar grants Sabin his freedom and ascends to the throne. Sabin leaves the country and trains on Mt. Koltz under Master Duncan.
[[Keyword Comments]]
Figaro Queen: Edgar and Sabin's mother. Her name was Christiel. She was an orphan raised in the Figaro monastery. The king instantly fell in love with her when he happened to stop by for water while out hunting. She died in childbirth at age 16.
Nutkin: Loves nuts. When Sabin was little he tried giving one a walnut and it bit his finger.
Antlion: A monster that lives in the desert. Normally docile, but anyone who enters its nest is seen as an enemy and attacked. It's "counter sting" is a menace.
Guinevere: The previous king's younger cousin. She was wed to a distant relative at 16. After her much older husband died, she served a duke while still young. Though it was not permitted due to her role as duchess, she dreamed of marrying the knight MacLeod.
Jeffrey MacLeod: Retainer to the previous king of Figaro. He was a noble knight highly respected by Edgar and Sabin. Lost his life along with his beloved Guinevere while saving the king from an assassination plot by the king's younger brother, Francis Laverne.
Francis Laverne: The previous king of Figaro's younger brother, Edgar and Sabin's uncle. His appearance was reminiscent of adult Edgar's. He deeply resented his older brother Stewart, who had the love and loyalty of the people. Blue eyes are prized in Figaro (in the desert they represent precious water), and though he was born with brilliant blue eyes, he was also sickly. His grudge against his father for looking down on him turned into hatred of his brother...
Kaori Tanaka gives the secret background on the coin.
Tanaka: The biggest event for the Figaro Brothers, the coin event, came to me quite easily. Since they're princes, I thought of having a fairy-tale-like gold coin. That coin was actually a defective coin commemorating their father's wedding. I don't think that Edgar felt he was "throwing the match" when he let Sabin win the coin toss. At that time he was just thinking of the greater good, regardless of his own gain or loss, which is different from how Sabin would have reacted. I guess he's a man who blooms strongest when he takes a step back (lol)
<<Misc>>
There are a bunch of illustrations of the Figaro Bros. Their mother's funeral, Sabin getting his finger bitten by the Nutkin, them swimming and having fun, hunting the antlion, watching Jeffrey and Guinevere talk from a 2nd story window, etc.
This is the last article in the character collections, and the magazine moves on to other topics after this (since FF6 had been out for over a year at this point), but there are still a couple other scattered FF6 article summaries in later issues I'll translate.
1995-7
This issue features Mog, Umaro, and Gogo! (p192-195)
This issue's cover illustration is Terra petting Mog, and for some reason baby versions of Umaro and Gogo
The things you need to go on an adventure... aren't swords or magic!
Even if you're a weakling or a crybaby or a coward, as long as you've got a bit of courage, anyone can be a hero!
Just like the little hero Mog! (from the cover)
<<Background>>
The development team gives background on these characters
Development: Umaro was originally a character who moved around the world map, and you'd have to set out bait to capture him. Sort of like Gau on the Veldt. Regarding Mog, this isn't in the final release, but in the World of Ruin Narshe, there was a "Moogle Pit". If you fell in, there would be like 20 moogles. One of them would be Mog, and if you talked to him, he would join. But because they moved so fast, you'd immediately lose track of which moogles you'd talked to. It was called "Moogle Search"!
Development: In the development version, finding Gogo was a lot harder. He would bounce from pub to pub. But he'd take the form of someone who wasn't in your party. So for example, he'd turn into Locke. The player would talk to him thinking he was Locke, but they'd only get a terse reply. Realizing something was amiss, the player would bring the real Locke to the pub and talk to the fake one, and he'd say, "Oh-ho! You got me! I'm actually Gogo!" and then he'd join the party. But if you didn't do it in time, he'd move to a different pub and change his form, so finding him was difficult.
<<Misc>>
There was a special edition of "Private Fashion" featuring the imp equipment
Celes: "Ugh, the rainy season is so damp."
Locke: "It really is. But we've got just the stuff for times like this!"
Celes: "The imp gear! I'll use magic to turn myself into an imp! Do I look good?"
Locke: "You look wonderful... Celes..."
This issue's cover illustration is Shadow equipped with Ichigeki, Black Garb, and Master's Scroll, running through the moonlight with Interceptor
Anger, grief, joy... those things all vanished along with the human called Clyde.
As I am now, I know nothing of respite.
Death is my final destination, and he's calling me... (from the cover)
<<Background>>
The development team give background on Shadow.
Development: Shadow's past is revealed in a series of episodes, sort of like the Tycoon sisters in FF5. There are a total of 5 dreams. In the first 3, you learn about his partner Baram and the origin of the name Shadow. The remaining two are almost like hidden events, and if you don't see these, you don't get a clear understanding of the relationship between Shadow and Relm. That being that they're father and daughter. I'm sure there were quite a few people already thinking, "Wait, are they...?"
There was originally going to be an event between Shadow and Strago.
They were alone in a pub in some town.
Strago: "I have one favor to ask of you. ... Show me your face. Even if you are who I think you are, I have no intention of asking you to stay with us. I just want to know... for Relm's sake..."
Shadow: "......" (He takes off his mask and shows Strago his face. But because his back is to the player, they can't see his face)
Strago: "Thank you... Shadow. Now, let's drink."
"Official Inquiries of Emperor Sakaguchi of the FF Empire" answers questions about what Celes drops in the ending, and where Minwu's Soul is.
Sakaguchi: If you think about what the most precious thing to Celes is, it's that. The thing that gave her the courage to keep living, the bandana from her beloved...
Sakaguchi: During development, the accessory "Soul of Thamasa" was originally called "Minwu's Soul". So no matter how hard you search in the released version, you won't find it (that's a fact).
This issue's cover illustration is Relm equipped with the Cat-Ear Hood, Tabby Suit, and Tintinnabulum, and Strago equipped with the Feathered Cap, Chocobo Suit, Ribbon, and Tininnabulum.
Relm has no Mama or Papa, but I've got plenty of strong brothers and sisters here to rely on!
But my favorite is my dodgy old gramps! (from the cover)
<<Background>>
Kaori Tanaka-san and the developers give background on these two characters
-- Why does Relm know Edgar's middle name?
Tanaka: One day, the party asked Relm for the secret of how she's able to manipulate monsters with the "Control" command. Relm replied, "Monsters have a secret name, and if you know it, you can manipulate their souls." Edgar, who was sitting next to her, smiled and said, "I have a secret name" and stealthily told her his middle name.
-- If it's wrong for Edgar to proposition the 10 year-old Relm, why is it okay for the 8 year-old Priscilla?
Tanaka: Prisilla's mother was keen on marriage talk and put it in her head that "You're going to be the king's consort~". Not knowing what to do, Edgar carelessly responded, "Maybe when you're older". That's the truth of it.
Development: During development, Strago had a wife named Lara. She was 65 and a Fengshui master.
Lara: "I'm sure you're gonna die first!"
Strago: "What are you talking about? You've gotten more wrinkles!"
... They'd squabble like that. But...
Strago: "I'm dying first... I'll see you in heaven... or hell!"
Lara: "You've still got debt to pay off! I'm going first!"
They were spouses who got along with each other and stood up for each other.
This issue's illustration is Setzer equipped with Cards, Bandana, Mirage Vest, and Sprint Shoes, with the Mysidian Rabbit
I lost my dreams along with my wings
As stubborn as I am, I'd started to forget I had another set of wings
The two of us flying through the skies made our own reality
My friend's wings take on speed with no room for hesitation
I'm searching for both our endings (from the cover)
<<Background>>
The development team gives background on Setzer
-- What's the inside story on him?
Development: To be honest, during planning for FF5 we were really pushing for a Gambler class. We ended up not being able to use it because it had too many unique quirks, but in FF6 we were looking to make each character unique, so it came back. This was the prototype for Setzer.
-- Why does he have scars all over?
Development: There's been airship accidents, and in his line of work, there's no shortage of trouble. To Setzer, each scar is proof that he gambled his life!
-- When Setzer first joins he's wearing a bandana, but if you take it off him, you can't equip it again. Why not?
Developmnt: Setzer is obsessed with fashion, and he can't abide by wearing the same thing as someone else! With the bandana specifically, that's Locke's trademark, and it suits him. So while Setzer's in the party, he can't equip it anymore.
<<Popularity Contest>>
The "FF6 Favorite Event" poll was held
Opera (1342 votes)
* The scene was so pretty!
* There's never been an event like this before!
* Celes being ladylike was adorable!
* Ultros added some good flavor!
* Locke blushing was cute
* The lyrics and music were amazing
Coin Toss (583 votes)
* A surprising side to the normally light-hearted Figaro bros
* The older brother looks out for his younger brother, the younger brother looks out for his family... Their kindness should set an example!
* I love that the choice between the throne and freedom was settled with a coin toss
* I want that coin! Sell it to me! (lol)
Forever Rachel (451 votes)
* Locke has lost his truth, Celes has lost her resolve. It's sad but I love this event!
* I'm glad Locke got his courage back!
* What a serious romance!
* I'm glad that Rachel was able to talk to Locke for a moment and go to heaven happy!!
Reunion with Father (297 votes)
* Sabin was really upset, and Gau was so precious... The clincher was Gau's lines. So good!
* Everyone picking out clothes for Gau was so heartwarming
Daryl's Tomb (209 votes)
* A flashback down a long staircase. I'm gonna cry!
* The scene where the Falcon rises is so cool!
* Daryl's cute
This issue's illustration is Gau wearing the Feathered Cap, Snow Scarf, and Angel Wings, while sitting in a bird's nest with food
Talking... fun...
Even if hard... if people here... feel better...
Everyone... come back soon (from cover)
<<Background>>
The development team gives background on Gau
Development: Gau is not what you would call a "main character" who is involved in the primary story. Rather, he's a character whose role is expanding the story. When he first joins, he can't speak the human language. But as he travels with you, he becomes able to say a few words. He then speaks those words at important moments. In the released version he has an event where he reunites with his father, but the development version had another small event. It happened in the World of Balance, and Cyan becomes more enthusiastic towards him than Sabin. But it was basically the same thing.
This issue's illustration is Cyan equipped with the Mutsunokami, Murakumo, Black Belt, and Genji Glove
My overflowing fighting spirit and passion shaped my life until that last moment...
History is made not by the gods, but by one's own strength.
No matter how much time passes, the sword of a warrior who perseveres through a turbulent era will remain forever engraved on people's hearts.
<<Background>>
The development team gives background on Cyan.
Development: In early development, there was an older lady character who wielded a whip named Angela. Angela would half-jokingly say things like "Hey, handsome". Cyan was ruffled by it, but then in the end he'd reply, "... you think?" with a bashful expression. But in the game itself, he has no love interest, and is devoted to his deceased wife!
Development: He isn't terribly different from how we first imagined. He was super serious, inflexible, and stubborn. But in battle, he turns into a superior fighting machine. Early in development, he'd give these flashy names to his Bushido skills after he learned them like "Chou Bakuretsu Shouryuuzan", because he's kind of weird like that! Because of the culture gap and that he's naturally kind of a dunce, Gau is the only person he can show off for. He'll hear about some kind of cultural information from the party 5 minutes ago, then proudly tell Gau about it. "Hast thou heard of the steam engine? Tis quite common knowledge!" ... Even though he doesn't really understand it himself (lol).
This issue's cover illustration is Celes with the Rune Blade, Kenpo Gi, and Merit Badge singing an opera(?)
The clear blue sky and abundance of the earth vanished with the rest of the world.
That person is gone.
I decided to throw away my past and all of my memories
But when I did... his voice reached me.
"You can't throw away your hope. You can still make all your dreams and desires come true."
That's right.
I'm marking the end of this dark and cold journey.
I'm going to walk a new road now.
Until I can see you again (from the cover)
<<Background>>
The development team gives background on Celes
From the very start there were plans to have an Imperial Magitek Knight get close to the party by pretending to be an ally. Using magic takes a lot of mental energy, which rendered her mentally unstable. She'd fall into crying fits or hysterics or the like... Because of that, she had a strong desire for someone she could rely on. That's when she heard kind words from Locke. It was going to be that Celes, who was waiting for her chance to betray everyone, realized she'd lost her heart to Locke, and was now anxious about it.
-- Why does the story in the World of Ruin start with Celes?
Development: All 12 party members are the protagonists, so it seemed appropriate. We started with Terra, and her part in the story was becoming too overpowering. Another reason was because we wanted to give Terra a different story in the World of Ruin.
"Official Inquiries of Emperor Sakaguchi of the FF Empire" talks about why Locke hates mushrooms.
Locke: "They just smell, all right? That alone is enough to make me want to throw up! I hate how they feel in my mouth."
Celes: "Isn't that just because you were scavenging?"
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