Fat and Panicked

Tackling a life of obesity and anxiety

[fatandpanicked-blog]

Already falling off the train.

It didn't take super long for me to have let this Tumblr become neglected. I apologise for that. I allowed the stresses of the past week or so to get to me more than I should have. I will work on remedying that now. Eyes ever forward. -Justin

[fatandpanicked-blog]

Cauliflower “rice”, and the stems saved to freeze and use in a vegetable broth down the road.

[fatandpanicked-blog]

Trying to ditch the addictive White Stuff

Sugar is literally everywhere in this country.  It is completely ridiculous.  Ketchup?  It doesn’t even taste sweet.. why does it have so much damn sugar?!?!  A British YouTuber I follow once likened his experience with bread from the U.S. as being akin to eating cake.  I didn’t quite understand why.. then I looked at the nutrition information on a standard loaf of bread.  IT IS ABSURD!

Anyway.. that much sugar is certainly not helping my belly get any smaller.  I had been putting forward a conscious effort to drastically reduce the amount of processed, or even just pre-packaged, food.  This comes with the added bonus of reducing the other white powder we are obsessed with here.. salt.  I had been doing alright, but let myself slip pretty bad this week.  2 nights of Home Buyer classes in which they provided dinner (hint: neither night was healthy).  Friday a going away for a co-worker involved mass pizza provided at work (hello, Kelsey.. you deserter.. the office is going to burn down without you there).  All in all, this week was not a success, but normalcy is returning.

I have in my fridge 2 heads of cauliflower that I’m going to go “rice” as soon as I’m done here, and I have just sooo many beans that I cooked from dry this past weekend, stashed away in the fridge and freezer for various meals.  So that’s my big target this week.  Only eating whole food that I process myself.  No added salt.  No added sugar.  ALSO, no fake sugar.  The 1 swig I have left of my Diet Dr. Pepper, sitting next to me, will hopefully be the last soda.  I’ve been bringing home brewed tea to work to sate my need for caffeine.  Time to kick the soda habit.

I realize this post I’ve just been rambling.  I look at this past week and realize how little progress I made, so my head is a jumble with what I must do.  I’ll have more concise updates coming soon.

[fatandpanicked-blog]

A long road ahead.

Motivation.  Why is it so hard to achieve?  Here I am, 305 lbs, suffering hefty anxiety issues (often manifesting in symptoms that feel like cardiac problems, which makes the anxiety worse.  LOVELY!), easily winded and feeling like garbage.  The changes that need to be made are laid out before me in a neat and orderly fashion.  Eat more vegetables, and less pizza.  Make an effort to exercise at least 30 minutes a day a few days a week.  Get more sleep. 

All of these seem so simple, and yet hear I am, having just finished eating way too much pizza for one meal for one person, skipping the gym for the umpteenth time, and wallowing at home.

So, here’s my hope.  I hope that by engaging with more tools, this tumblr being among them, I can begin to wrap myself in accountability.  I hope that by writing my thoughts, my set backs, my successes, etc. for all to see (or anybody who accidentally stumbles upon this blog, anyway), that the sense of accountability will build inside me.  Skipping the gym for no good reason at all won’t just let me down, it will let down those who read my ramblings.... or so I hope.

As I said, I currently weigh 305 lbs.  My LONG term goal is to lose a solid 1/3 of that, at least.  For now, my goal is to begin making the much needed changes, one step at a time, in my lifestyle.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step.  Here’s my first foot forward.

-Justin

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It begins.