You plopped face-first onto the bed, muffling a groan into the pillow. From across the room, Bucky’s low chuckle rolled out as he rummaged through the drawers.
You hated watching Bucky pack. More than ever this time because you barely had him. This was his third day back from a mission and he’s already packing for another one.
You rested your chin on the pillow, silently watching him move across the room. Since he’s been on cereal packages, things have changed for the both of you. He was busier than ever and most of the time away on some hero crisis. He finally seemed to walk through life more confidently and unapologetically after he joined thunderbolts. Like he truly found his purpose. But, between all the glamour that is being a superhero, you felt like your relationship took a back seat in his priorities. You were so happy for him, and glad he feels fulfilled. Still, you couldn’t stop yourself from missing the times when he was more accessible to you. Besides, could you blame him? You signed up for this the minute you agreed to date an avenger.
Bucky turned, holding up two very unmatching socks. “Baby?”
You squinted, “I don’t know how the other sock got lost for both of them.”
You walked to the drawer, as the bed dipped at Bucky’s weight, determined to find him a decent pair of socks, “I don’t even know how this happens. Like, it goes in as a pair for washing but comes out as one?”
You waited for Bucky to say something witty, but the silence had you turning, “Buck?”
“Are you okay?”
You laughed nervously. “Do I sound that crazy talking about missing socks?”
He returned a small smile, shaking his head, “No, not the socks. You looked sad, before. Is there something you want to talk about?”
You forced a smile, “Nothing serious. Just thinking.”
You went back to looking through the sock drawer.
“What were you thinking about?”
You shrugged, “You know, the usual.”
“What’s the usual?”
You fake gasped, an obvious coy to change the subject, “You don’t know the usual?”
Bucky sat down on the ground, close to you, his back leaning on the wall, “Do you expect me to fall for that?”
You paused to look at him, “What?”
“You’re lying, there’s something bothering you and you’re refusing to talk about it.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No, Bucky.
“Yes, Y/N.”
You glared at him. “You’re so stubborn.”
“So you know we’re both not leaving till you tell me what’s wrong.”
Your chest caved a little, words spilling before you could stop them. “I… I just miss you. A lot.”
His expression softened instantly. He reached out a hand, coaxing you closer. “I miss you too.”
“Really?”
“Of course. All the time.”
Before you could reply, he tugged you onto his lap. You landed against his chest, the steady beat of his heart thudding beneath your ear. His palm traced your back slowly, grounding you.
Bucky asked under his breath, “Is it me being out all the time?”
You nodded.
“It’s hard for me too.”
You moved back to look at him, “Yeah?”
He held your face, his thumb caressing your cheek, “I went from seeing you everyday to feeling lucky if I see you 10 days in a month. Of course it’s hard.”
“But you really like the job right?”
He shrugged, “I have more of a sense of belonging with this team, but I don’t know. I was happy before everything. I was feeling better. I had you, good amount of missions, and the freedom to pick what I want to do. But, with thunderbolts, I’m starting to feel like I’m back in that life I was trying to stay away from.”
You cupped his arm gently, “Maybe you just need to find the right balance?”
His mouth curved, faint but real, “As long as it means more of you,” He whispered, “Maybe I should start with skipping this mission and staying home with you?”
“You don’t have to do that for me buck,”
Before you could say more, Bucky interrupted you, “No, I know, but I don’t think I want to go. Y/N, I- I want you to be proud of me, and it felt like since all of this, I’ve been making you proud.”
“Buck,” you hugged him tight, “I’m always proud of you baby. You’re the strongest and kindest person I know. Especially after everything you’ve been through, you’re doing so well. How could I not be proud when I see that?”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, I don’t want you to ever doubt that for a second. Okay?”
His answer was a kiss, deeper, needier, making you whimper into his mouth.
Pulling back just enough to smirk, you asked, “So… do superheroes get sick leave?”
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
You slowly opened your eyes, immediately flinching at the sunlight falling on you. A familiar, soft chuckle broke the silence, pulling your focus away from the light. Your breath caught as your gaze shifted. You whispered, “Bucky?”
He came back. Your Bucky came back. He was here, in the room you both shared, in the bed you both shared. You couldn’t move, though. Every bone in your body wanted to lunge at him, but you couldn’t move. You cried, as it was the only thing your body allowed you to do. He was so close, but you couldn’t hold him. You couldn’t wrap yourself around him so he wouldn’t leave again. And then the panic set in—
What if he leaves again?
No, you wouldn’t let that happen. You wouldn’t let him out of your sight. He had to be with you, in your bed, in his house, where he belonged. That’s where you needed him to be.
You felt him shift closer, his cold arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you securely against him. His hand tucked you gently beneath his chin as he ran his fingers through your hair, soothing the sobs that you couldn’t hold back. He whispered that he loved you, that you were safe with him. His lips brushed your forehead in a tender kiss as he whispered for you to sleep. Your eyelids grew heavier with each breath, and as he promised to stay beside his best girl, you drifted into darkness.
---
His head was pounding, and his body felt weak. He needed to find a way out, though. He had to go back no matter what. He remained silent so the people around him wouldn’t be alarmed. It reminded him of being docile and pliant again, the days when he was just someone’s asset—nothing but a machine that took orders and absorbed whatever abuse was needed to keep the human in him nonexistent.
Bucky couldn’t think clearly. He couldn’t concentrate on his surroundings, the noise only intensifying the excruciating pain. People around him were aware, the sudden increase in hushed whispers meant they were waiting for him to wake up.
He wasn’t going back to the way things were. He wouldn’t allow more innocent people to die because of his actions. He had to go back. This time, he had so much to lose. He had to get back to Y/N.
Just then, he felt someone’s presence to his right. He acted fast, grabbing the person by their neck and pushing the bed he was lying on moments ago toward the people opposite him. Bucky quickly looked around, planning his exit, until his eyes fell on you.
His vision tunneled. He loosened his hold on the man, allowing him to scramble away. His eyes focused on your figure. His heart beat faster with each step as he walked closer to your lifeless form.
Bucky knew it was all his fault. Whatever the reason, the person he loved the most was lying unconscious, it was completely his fault. Karma, he thought. For all the times he had hurt others, the universe was finally making him pay.
Bucky’s shaky hand hovered above your bruised face. He needed to touch you so badly, maybe even shake you awake while he was at it, so he could beg you for forgiveness. He couldn’t, though. He couldn’t get himself to touch you. Touching you with his blood-covered hands would only destroy you more than he already has.
“Bucky.”
He recognized Sam’s voice. He wanted to ask him what happened, to hunt down whoever did this to you and make them regret even laying eyes on you. But seeing you in this state drained all of his energy. Bucky collapsed into the chair beside you, his head in his hands, his heart in his throat, and his brain screaming at him,
“She’s here because of me.”
---
“Bucky? You listening?”
Bucky looked away from you to look at Sam. “Yeah. I- I thought I was keeping her safe.”
Before Sam could convince him otherwise, he continued, “Anything could have happened that week. They could have kidnapped her, and that’s not even the worst they could have done.”
“Bucky, we’re trying our best to find out what the Skrulls needed from you, but you can’t spiral out of control with what could have happened. Both of you are safe right now.”
Bucky’s irritated laugh was sharp in the room. “The Skrulls were after me, but they ended up in my house, living with my wife. If she hadn’t realized it wasn’t me, God knows what could have happened.” Bucky choked up. “She’s lying there, bruised and unconscious, because she loves me. How can I live with that?”
Sam looked down, which only intensified Bucky’s guilt. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when she wakes up. I knew she loved me, but-” Bucky looked back at you, trying to find the words in you. “She put her life on the line for mine, even though I’m the reason she wasn’t safe in her own home. What if this changes everything between us? What if she never trusts me after this? What if being around me makes her feel unsafe?” Bucky’s voice wavered. “What if she leaves because she finally realized what I am and what I come with?”
“WOW.”
Bucky looked up at Sam with a tense jaw.
“Are you being serious? You think she’s going to leave you?! She knows you and everything you come with; this situation should only be more proof of that. If she hadn’t realized it wasn’t you, you wouldn’t even be sitting here contemplating whether she’s going to leave. Man, you’re so twisted in your own guilt that you don’t realize you’re insulting her by even thinking she’s going to leave. Yeah, it might take a while for her to feel completely relaxed, but that’s fair enough. She’s gone through something traumatic, and I know you’ll do whatever you have to do to make her feel safe.”
Sam paused as he noticed Bucky’s bloodshot eyes. He sighed, “Buck, I get why you feel it’s your fault, but if you keep letting it get to you, you’re going to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Bucky nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Sam chuckled. “I know. Leave the Skrull situation to me. You concentrate on getting back to being your grumpy ass and taking care of your wife.”
Bucky smiled. “Yeah. How’s Leo?”
“Between finding you and stressing about Y/N, he was the only good thing last week. I might have to keep him with me forever.”
“Hell, no,” you said weakly, your voice strained.
In an instant, Bucky’s heart felt lighter but fuller. He finally felt like he could breathe again.
You slowly opened your eyes, immediately flinching at the sunlight falling on you. A familiar, soft chuckle broke the silence, pulling your focus away from the light. Your breath caught as your gaze shifted. You whispered, “Bucky?”
He came back. Your Bucky came back. He was here, in the room you both shared, in the bed you both shared. You couldn’t move, though. Every bone in your body wanted to lunge at him, but you couldn’t move. You cried, as it was the only thing your body allowed you to do. He was so close, but you couldn’t hold him. You couldn’t wrap yourself around him so he wouldn’t leave again. And then the panic set in—
What if he leaves again?
No, you wouldn’t let that happen. You wouldn’t let him out of your sight. He had to be with you, in your bed, in his house, where he belonged. That’s where you needed him to be.
You felt him shift closer, his cold arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you securely against him. His hand tucked you gently beneath his chin as he ran his fingers through your hair, soothing the sobs that you couldn’t hold back. He whispered that he loved you, that you were safe with him. His lips brushed your forehead in a tender kiss as he whispered for you to sleep. Your eyelids grew heavier with each breath, and as he promised to stay beside his best girl, you drifted into darkness.
---
His head was pounding, and his body felt weak. He needed to find a way out, though. He had to go back no matter what. He remained silent so the people around him wouldn’t be alarmed. It reminded him of being docile and pliant again, the days when he was just someone’s asset—nothing but a machine that took orders and absorbed whatever abuse was needed to keep the human in him nonexistent.
Bucky couldn’t think clearly. He couldn’t concentrate on his surroundings, the noise only intensifying the excruciating pain. People around him were aware, the sudden increase in hushed whispers meant they were waiting for him to wake up.
He wasn’t going back to the way things were. He wouldn’t allow more innocent people to die because of his actions. He had to go back. This time, he had so much to lose. He had to get back to Y/N.
Just then, he felt someone’s presence to his right. He acted fast, grabbing the person by their neck and pushing the bed he was lying on moments ago toward the people opposite him. Bucky quickly looked around, planning his exit, until his eyes fell on you.
His vision tunneled. He loosened his hold on the man, allowing him to scramble away. His eyes focused on your figure. His heart beat faster with each step as he walked closer to your lifeless form.
Bucky knew it was all his fault. Whatever the reason, the person he loved the most was lying unconscious, it was completely his fault. Karma, he thought. For all the times he had hurt others, the universe was finally making him pay.
Bucky’s shaky hand hovered above your bruised face. He needed to touch you so badly, maybe even shake you awake while he was at it, so he could beg you for forgiveness. He couldn’t, though. He couldn’t get himself to touch you. Touching you with his blood-covered hands would only destroy you more than he already has.
“Bucky.”
He recognized Sam’s voice. He wanted to ask him what happened, to hunt down whoever did this to you and make them regret even laying eyes on you. But seeing you in this state drained all of his energy. Bucky collapsed into the chair beside you, his head in his hands, his heart in his throat, and his brain screaming at him,
“She’s here because of me.”
---
“Bucky? You listening?”
Bucky looked away from you to look at Sam. “Yeah. I- I thought I was keeping her safe.”
Before Sam could convince him otherwise, he continued, “Anything could have happened that week. They could have kidnapped her, and that’s not even the worst they could have done.”
“Bucky, we’re trying our best to find out what the Skrulls needed from you, but you can’t spiral out of control with what could have happened. Both of you are safe right now.”
Bucky’s irritated laugh was sharp in the room. “The Skrulls were after me, but they ended up in my house, living with my wife. If she hadn’t realized it wasn’t me, God knows what could have happened.” Bucky choked up. “She’s lying there, bruised and unconscious, because she loves me. How can I live with that?”
Sam looked down, which only intensified Bucky’s guilt. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when she wakes up. I knew she loved me, but-” Bucky looked back at you, trying to find the words in you. “She put her life on the line for mine, even though I’m the reason she wasn’t safe in her own home. What if this changes everything between us? What if she never trusts me after this? What if being around me makes her feel unsafe?” Bucky’s voice wavered. “What if she leaves because she finally realized what I am and what I come with?”
“WOW.”
Bucky looked up at Sam with a tense jaw.
“Are you being serious? You think she’s going to leave you?! She knows you and everything you come with; this situation should only be more proof of that. If she hadn’t realized it wasn’t you, you wouldn’t even be sitting here contemplating whether she’s going to leave. Man, you’re so twisted in your own guilt that you don’t realize you’re insulting her by even thinking she’s going to leave. Yeah, it might take a while for her to feel completely relaxed, but that’s fair enough. She’s gone through something traumatic, and I know you’ll do whatever you have to do to make her feel safe.”
Sam paused as he noticed Bucky’s bloodshot eyes. He sighed, “Buck, I get why you feel it’s your fault, but if you keep letting it get to you, you’re going to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Bucky nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Sam chuckled. “I know. Leave the Skrull situation to me. You concentrate on getting back to being your grumpy ass and taking care of your wife.”
Bucky smiled. “Yeah. How’s Leo?”
“Between finding you and stressing about Y/N, he was the only good thing last week. I might have to keep him with me forever.”
“Hell, no,” you said weakly, your voice strained.
In an instant, Bucky’s heart felt lighter but fuller. He finally felt like he could breathe again.
Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.
Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your DMs with the "you seem really odd and your blog intrigues me, do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters"
Who the fuck is hating on my man?! STFU AND KEEP YOUR UNNECESSARY, DOGSHIT OPINION TO YOURSELF. Take this as a threat, I will break noses if I hear anything but support for that man.
He looks stunning like I screamed when I saw that scene. Humans are so fucking stupid istg.
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
