im mentally ill

TW for anything ED, im using this acc for myself and to find comfort bc im currently not doing great, dont dm me sex stuff it’s annoying

[fatgarfield]

TW ED and NUMBERS

pls block, n dont report, this is my only true safe place

My intro n weight tracking

Im 19

My name is garf ( for tumblr reasons and fear of this blog being found )

Pronouns are he/him

trans and bi

Height: 5 foot 2

HW: 189lbs

CW: 149.6lbs

GW1: 170✅

GW2: 160 ✅

GW3: 150✅

GW4: 140

GW5: 130

GW6: 120

UGW: 111

i will update as my weight changes or pronouns and age change

[fatgarfield]

i’m genuinely so serious if i loser her im going to develop a nicotine addiction and lose 35 pounds i want to kms so bad

[fatgarfield]

if my relationship ends i’m either gonna kill myself or get so skinny

[fatgarfield]

FALL IS ALMOST HERE!!!! ITS RELAPSE SEASON BITCH!!!!!

[fatgarfield]

my heart got really fucked up from my last relapse and it sucks bc i love doing omad but it is so hard on my body.

[fatgarfield]

got really depressed outta nowhere and returned to edtumblr. classic

[z3r0-c4ls00]

when the 'why did I eat that?' starts to kick in

[fatgarfield]

just found out i’m like a pound away from not being overweight anymore, and i had been lowkey trying to recover but now i have the NEED to lose weight again

[ima-end-itt]

forgot how good it feels to starve myself

It's literally such an addictive and amazing feeling when your stomach feels empty and it just hurts

[addicted2skinny2]

All I want is to be loved [and to be underweight]

[palesweetb0nes]

"You dont look like you have an ed" LET ME COOK. I WILL IN A FEW MONTHS‼️‼️‼️

[fatgarfield]

me when i haven’t been restricting and didn’t gain anything

[appetite-suppression]

[sourbitbitten]

the thing about 4n0r3xia is that you don't only do it for the results. at the beginning, they are obviously not immediate, so you can't only rely on that to keep ⭐️ving yourself. what it's immediate tho, it's the hunger. it all revolves around it, and after you get used to it, everything starts to feel lighter; your mind, your body, even that feeling of constant guilt in your chest. that's what is so addictive.

[fatgarfield]

the motivation to starve when i have a partner is insane, even though she says she likes me as i am.

i need to be perfect for her, i need to be small for her, i need to be beautiful for her.

i need to be worthy of her.

[ohnogloomy]

Having an ed and a deep rooted fear of wasting food suuuucks

[verynormaleatinghabits]

trans with an eating disorder? call that a t-rexie. 🦖

[mamabearwonders]

💀💀