sum. sequel to one last time. you visit suna after listening to the voicenote he sent you, just to talk, and end up doing a little more than that.
feat. rintaro suna
cw. cheating/infidelity, suna really got on my nerves while i was writing this and he'll probably get on yours too, arguing, choking (m. receiving), edging, cunnilingus, a little manhandling kinda, missionary, multiple instances of "i miss/ed you"
wc. 2k
Suna tries his best to keep the shit-eating grin off his face when you text him to ask if heās home.Ā
He knew that voice message would get you. There was a tiny voice in his head that told him it would be a monumental embarrassment if you didnāt, but it was drowned out by all the other voices in his head telling him to send, send, send, send.
His stomach turns with anticipation. He doesnāt even answer your question, just orders an Uber and sends you the car make and model and how long it will take to get to your apartment. 6 minutes. And then 12 minutes from yours to his.Ā
He fishes out the fancy santal candle he knows you like from beneath the bathroom sink and lights it in his bedroom. Then he brushes his teeth and puts some music on and waits.
He jumps when the doorbell rings.
Thereās a moment of silence when he opens the door, the two of you just looking at each other. It hits Suna that this is the first time heās seen you in person in months. He used to see you everyday. There's a part of his chest that seems to ache at the realization. He ignores it.
āHi,ā you breathe.
He blinks once. Twice. āHey.ā He opens the door a little wider and shifts to the side so you can come in.
You take one step closer and then stop, eyeing him with unjust suspicion. āI didnāt come over here to fuck you.ā
Suna takes one look at your outfitāshorts that are definitely too short to be comfortable in this chilly fall weather and a sweatshirt heās pretty sure is hisāand knows youāre lying. He doesnāt call you out, just grins and shrugs and ushers you inside anyway.Ā
You lean against the kitchen counter to survey the living room, pleased to see that it looks exactly the same as the last time you were here. Sunaās still standing by the door when you look at him again, arms crossed.
āSo whyād you come over?ā he asks.
Itās your turn to shrug. āYou said you missed me.ā
āDid I?ā
You give him a sideways look. āYou did.ā You drag out the two words, nodding slowly and widening your eyes as if youāre speaking to a child.
Suna tilts his head to the side, smiling a little. āWhat else did I say?ā
Oh lord. You shouldāve known heād be annoying about it. You shift your gaze up to the ceiling, pretending to struggle to remember even though you listened to his message several times, including once on the car ride over.Ā
āYou said you werenāt happy for meā¦which is pretty fucked up.ā
Suna just rolls his eyes. āWhat else?ā
Eyes on the ceiling again. āYou said you liked my Halloween costume. And that if I had sex with you it wouldnāt count as cheating because I havenāt been with him that long.ā You put air quotes around his claim, sliding your eyes back down to meet his.
Heās standing closer to you now than he was a minute ago, looking like heās holding back a laugh. āNow that partās fucked up. Where is the boyfriend, by the way?ā
You make a face and look at the time on the microwave. āProbably home. Probably asleep.ā
āYeah? Howās he doing?ā He closes whatās left of the gap between you and tugs on the drawstring of your (his) sweatshirt to even out both ends.
āFineā¦ā you whisper, breath hitching when his hand brushes your ear on the way to your hoodie.
He hums after fixing the string and walks towards his bedroom, tapping your bare thigh as he passes you as a silent cue to follow.
You realize that he doesnāt believe your intentions for coming over are pure, which is true, but you donāt like that he didnāt even pretend to believe you.Ā
You follow his lead anyway, resting your head against the doorframe and watching him fish his phone out of his pocket and dump it on his desk. He sits on the edge of the bed and looks over at you with his eyebrows raised.
āI told you I just came over here to talk,ā you snap.
Sunaās response is automatic. āNo, you said you didnāt come over here to fuck.ā
āRin.ā
He puts his hands up in mock surrender. āSorry.ā He leans forward, setting his elbows on his knees and his hands beneath his chin. āAlright. Talk.ā
āYouāre so fucking annoying,ā you mutter. āI shouldnāt have come.ā You twist your foot to turn around and immediately hear the bed creak with relief. Suna wraps his hand around your wrist before you can fully turn your back.
āWait, Iām sorry,ā he says. āStay. Please?ā
He sounds like heās begging. He looks like heās begging, with his slumped shoulders and pleading eyes and desperation written all over his pretty face.Ā
Itās not enough.Ā
āMy boyfriend doesnāt taunt me like this, you know,ā you tell him, indignant.
Sunaās grip on your arms loosens as his face falls a bit.
You continue. āHeās actually nice to me. And heās romantic. Treats me like royalty.ā
You watch Sunaās jaw tick. His hand returns to his side. āHeās boring.ā
āHeās steady.ā
Sunaās tone grows terse. āDull. Stale. Bland. Vanilla.ā
āStable and secure and safe.ā
Suna snorts. āSafe,ā he repeats, sarcastic. āI seriously donāt get how you can date him.āĀ
āBecause heās my boyfriend who I love and not just some guy I used to fuck when I was lonely.ā
Itās a low blow. You and Suna were friends long before the benefits came along. Good friends. Close friends.
If heās offended he doesnāt show it, just latches on to the first part of your sentence. āYou donāt love him.ā
Heās right. āYouāre wrong.ā
āReally? Why are you here then?ā He narrows his eyes. āAnd donāt say itās because I said I missed you.ā
Youāre not sure when you started taking steps forward, or when Suna started moving backwards, but his calves hit the edge of the bed and suddenly heās sitting again, looking up at you with that infuriating self-righteousness that makes your eye twitch.
And then your hand is squeezing his throat and your lips are on his and youāre straddling him and moaning into his mouth.
You feel him start to smile against you before he pulls away.Ā
He opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it. āDonāt fucking say anything,ā you tell him, before tugging his face towards you neck.Ā
You can tell Sunaās still smiling, but he obeys, sucking the tender spot right above your collarbone without another word. His hands find the bottom of your sweatshirt and he pulls it up.Ā
His lips leave your skin and your hand leaves his neck so you can take your arms out of the sleeves and he can yank it over your head and drop it on the floor. Then he rests his hands on your hips and just looks at you.Ā
Goosebumps dance across your shoulders and arms. Suna wants to comment on how you're not wearing a bra but he doesnāt, just continues to stare.Ā
āWhat?ā you ask.
He takes in the sight of you on top of him, the rise and fall of your chestāquicker than normal, a side effect of him riling you up. He revels in the weight of you on his legs and tries to recall the last time you had him beneath you like this. Your birthday? His birthday? Or maybe it was that time he tried to cheer you up after you got laid off. Either way, itās been a long time and he hates to think about how youāve probably been doing this with your boyfriend instead of him.
He canāt help himself. āYou straddle the boyfriend like this?ā
You huff and press your palm to his chest, shoving him onto his back. Your face hovers over his. āWhat are you gonna do if I say yes?ā
Suna studies your face and puts his hands around your waist and beams. Itās the only signal you get before he flips you, putting your head on a pillow and taking his own shirt off before he drops it on the ground somewhere near your hoodie.
You prop yourself up on your elbows, glancing at the hard outline growing in his sweats as you trail your fingertips up his thigh. He leans into you and rests his forehead against yours.Ā
āI missed you,ā he says softly.Ā
Your heart beats at a concerning speed. āI know.ā
He gets up from the bed and snaps the waistband of your shorts before telling you to take them off and removing the rest of his own clothes. When he crouches over you again, you place the sole of your foot flat against him and tut.Ā
āYou also said youād do that thing I like with your tongue.ā
Again, Suna chooses not to comment. He wonders how many times you listened to the message, because itās sounding like more than once, more than a couple. He grabs your ankles and drags you down the bed, forcing a giggle out of your throat before he plants his head between your legs.Ā
He circles your clit, avoiding making contact with it directly and making teasing strokes with his fingers until youāre panting and quivering and making shaky demands for him to let you come on his tongue. When he does, you scream his name.Ā
āMusic to my fucking ears,ā he says under his breath, licking your slick off his lips. āYou scream this loud for him too?ā
You can't believe you forgot how aggravating he is. āShut up and fuck me.ā
He looks so smug. You start to think that the desperation from before was too short-lived, until heās inside you and youāre filled with him and that familiar need that makes you wrap your legs around him and claw at his back.
All you can think about is how you miss him and you missed this, and youāre telling him to fuck you harder, and then his mouth is right below your ear and his hair is tickling your cheek and a stream of yesās and Rinās are tumbling out of your mouth like dominoes and youre trying to pull him impossibly closer and youre so surrounded by him that its dizzying and youre whispering i miss you in his ear and hoping it doesnt sound like i love you and hes saying i miss you too and youre wondering if he really means i love you too and then youre biting into his shoulder andāĀ Ā
You lose count of how many times you come. Both of you do. The two of you are coated in sweat, laying on damp sheets in a room that now smells like sex and sandalwood. Neither of you speak, busy catching your breath and being lost in thought. You donāt want to say anything, afraid youāll break the spell.
You didnāt have to worry about that, though, because you hear your phone ping loudly and realize itās on the floor, still tucked away in the front pocket of your sweatshirt. Suna turns his head towards you.
āYou should break up with him.ā
You raise an eyebrow at the seriousness in his voice and sigh. āI know.ā
āToday.ā
A pause. āOkay.ā
Thereās another moment where none of you speak. And thenā
āYou should date me instead.ā
You turn to face him and the earnestness in his expression catches you so off guard you have to look away again. Itās not that you never expected him to bring it up, you just hadn't expected him to sound so sincere when he did.
You had toyed with the idea before, a handful of times even, but everything between you two was so easyāwhy would you mess it up with a what are we? conversation? Although, you suppose you messed it up anyway by getting a boyfriend and ditching Suna without warning.
It takes you a long time to respond, long enough that Suna starts to game plan an exit strategy, but then you meet his gaze again.
hi gen question as ive seen it on a few other author blogs too, but why dont u want your fanfics recommended on other platforms? i get if someone were to essentially steal it and read the entire thing or something but if they are just talking about fics they've enjoyed and then from that other ppl discover you/read your work too isn't that good then? i know im probably missing something but ive seen it sm thought i would ask.
hiii, idk why other writers do but for me itās honestly because the idea of getting a huge influx of readers from tiktok kind of terrifies me and iād probably stop posting ngl š i have seen what people say on there about smut writers (& dc writers) (and even sfw writers who donāt want minors on their page) and it is Not Kind. iād like to stay here in my little tumblr bubble as much as i can
i appreciate that people like my stuff enough to recommend it to others. send it to your friends! but iād just prefer not be posted on any socials if possible
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