for the most recent ask meme: 19 and 27 ic and ooc? and maaaybe 10 and 20 ic for ambrose, if it's not too greedy?
19. how innate do you think your kinks are?
Well, I think there is some part of me that is inherently deviant. It's what drove me to peer through books I shouldn't have as a child, that led me to get punished. A lot of it was trained into me, though. My punishments always came after indulging in the secret pleasures of my books. Pairing such secrecy, pleasure, and pain together over and over left a mark on me, I'm sure.
27. how fun and whimsical is your kink?
It's most important that it's fun for me. Many of my congregation genuinely hold fear of God in their hearts. Much less whimsical for them.
10. does kink help you process difficult feelings?
If what Father and I do counts as kink, then I suppose so. He's how I connect with God, and feeling God's love brings me peace. Even when Father is a little mean about it.
20. how much have you interrogated what kinks you enjoy?
I don't know...thinking about all those things too hard makes my head feel fuzzy. Almost like I'm not supposed to think about it. I just know that it makes me feel good.
19. how innate do you think your kinks are?
I think it's a good mix. I did a research project in undergraduate about how sexuality is conditioned, and it seems like some things are more solid and some things are more fluid. Personally, a lot of my kink I feel comes from my autism and general personality. I like rigid rules and structure in play, I have intense interest in things relating to eroticism, religion, etc, and I'm fairly neurotic and like to be in control. Some things came about from exposure or individual experiences, but I feel like they wouldn't have stuck without that layer of my personality.
27. how fun and whimsical is your kink?
It tends to be very lighthearted. Despite being dominant, I'm very gentle with my partner and it's always rooted in feeling good. We also joke a lot about sex and kink so we never take it too too seriously.