โง๏ฝฅ๏พ: *Dษชsแดษดแดสแดษดแดแดแดษดแด Sแดษดแดแดษดแดแด Sแดแดสแดแดสs
A Princess, an Elf, and a Demon Walk into a Bar
โย Hope you got your beauty sleep. โ
โย Anythingโs safer than guarding that prince/ss! โ
โย Youโve had your fun. Now itโs time to get married. โ
โย You wanna switch places? โ
โย Iโm actually hoping for death, thanks though. โ
โย Did you make sure to add extra frosting? โ
โย I just wanted to have a last bit of fun before the happiest day of my life. โ
โย Great I have to wear this crazy veil and pretend Iโm a virgin? โ
โย I thought that Iโd get married for true love, or because I was wasted. โ
โย You ever wish you could live in a place where people are really truly happy? โ
โย ___, itโs like you donโt appreciateย your assembly-line job. โ
โย Yeah, singing while you workโs not happiness. Itโs mental illness. โ
โย Ugh! Iโm sick of being happy all the time. โ
โย Just once I wishโฆI wish I could go somewhere where people are miserable. โ
โ ___ you are hereby curse from the deepest depths of the underworld! โ
โย A weird ghost guy is attacking and complimenting me. โ
โ Ghosts are losers that got murdered. โ
โย Get used to it, cause you are stuck with me for all eternity. โ
โ Just becauseย Iโm not jolly all the time doesnโt make me a weirdo. โ
โ Itโs like you do the slightest thing here, and everyone freaks out. โ
โย Itโs like they all have peppermintย sticks up their asses. โ
โย And that, my friend, is how one returns a gift. โ
โย If you donโt calm down, this is gonna be a long forever. โ
โ Donโt you want to see the outside world? โ
โย I donโt know why we keep that lever there. โ
โย Scribeldy-scrobeldy-screw the Jolly Code! โ
โย I wanna taste something other than sweetness. I wanna cry salty tears, learn bitter truths. I wanna take a big, meaty bite out of life and dip it in mustard! โ
โ Mustard, vinegar, anchovies? These are the ravings of fools. โ
โ Iโd rather die a big death than live a small life. โ
โย Wow, for the first time in my life I feel completely calm andโ-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! โ
โย Iโm a prince/ss. I canโt do my own bidding. โ
โย You know that little voice in your head that says to do the right thing? โ
โ So youโre like a terrible friend? โ
โ I never said Iโm your friend. โ
โ Shame youโre a prince/ss and too dainty to do anything about it. โ
โย Well, I like war, but I wouldnโt say I love it. โ
โย How long is this gonna last? โ
โย Times when you really shouldnโt are exactly when you really should. โ
โย I was raised by a pack of drinking buddies. And I came out perfect. โ
โย I mean nobody knows anything for sure but if I talk with confidence you dopes will believe anything I say. โย
โย Iโm just kicking back with my new cat. โ
โย Iโm not here to answer cat questions. โ
โย Are you trying to make a jerk out of me? โ
โย Actually, Iโd be fine if someone could just slide my head up a bit. โย
โย It was sweet of you to wreck my wedding, but youโre kind of slowing us down.ย โย
โย Well, it took all day, but I finally got my winnings.ย โย
โย Stand back, chumps. Watch as a non-chump chumps these chumps. โย
โย Iโve never had a nightmare. Is this one? โย
โย I have theory. Maybe they go up. โย
โย I wonโt even dignify that with an upward glance.โย
โย Iโve never heard of anything. โย
โย This is so helpful. How can we ever repay you? โ
โย Cool night air, sky full of starsโฆ.this sucks. How much further? โย
โย I would get rid of all the diseases plaguing mankind and replace them with worse ones.ย โย
โย Hey, s/heโs making fun of my dreams. Thatโs what friends do! โ
โย Whatโs this weird feeling I donโt want to drink away? โ
โย Iโll be entering your dreams tonight in the form of a laughing skull. โย
โย Yeah, thatโs me. Thatโs me. Iโm sorry. Iโm sorry about that.ย โย
โ Well, now we know something we didnโt know yesterday.ย โย
โ I might as well give up and accept that Iโll never be anything more than a wealthy queen/king of a fabulous faraway kingdom.ย โย
โ You are beautiful and your skin is so soft, and your hair smells like butterscotch, but youโre wrong! โย
โ Pardon my language but destiny is baloney!ย โย
โ Your future is not foretold. Itโs what you make of it.ย โย ย ย ย ย ย