somewhere in the end we're all insane

7th Year Slytherin Quidditch Captain. She/Her.

[hogwartslittlebastards]

Only Dead Men Are Free

@faux-propriety​

There was a certain amount of joy in knowing he would leave Hogwarts behind for good in a few months. The place had brought Gwyn nothing but headaches from the neverending buzz of voices around him, deep annoyance towards the adults in charge of his education, and renewed distaste for mudbloods. More and more they thought they were entitled to certain things like their strange devices and modified uniforms and new dorms for whenever they were feeling quirky. No, Gwyn would certainly not miss that place one bit.

But he would, he thought as he was walking towards the Quidditch pitch, mis playing under Karis’ command. She was an excellent captain and a good friend, in spite of her frankly liberal ways. But she told him no and benched him and argued with him at times, and there weren’t many people willing to do all that who meant much to the boy. Which explained the smile currently on his face, he thought as he tried to fight it, keep any hint of happiness under wraps. Too many enemies around to risk presenting them with an angle of attack.

“I’ve been training harder than usual,” was all the greetings he gave the blonde. His hurried walk and familiar speech spoke better on how glad he was to see her. “There’s no way we’re leaving this place without the Quidditch cup in our hands. I will burn the whole castle down otherwise.”

[faux-propriety]

Karis didn't care much for the idea of being in Hogwarts without her people. She'd dealt with the original blow just a few months ago as she was packing her shit together that she'd be there alone. She’d sat herself down on her luggage and cried in that helpless way only those who experience true loneliness can. And then cleaned herself up and continued packing until all that was left of her room was the shell.

All her closest friends had been upperclassmen.

The only good thing that seemed to come from this disaster is that all of the determined players from the other Quidditch teams were gone, graduated. Now she was left in place with two years of captaincy under her belt, and she was finally happy for the first time since she stepped foot back into the dusty old castle. She knew the pitch.

She also knew the voice when it reached her, and she turned to shoot Gwyn a cheeky grin. He was one of her best players, also one of her most vexing as well when he had a mind for it.

"I need that attitude on the pitch this year." Her robes swished around her as she turned, gleeful. "You'll help me get the rest in the same mindset? Quidditch is about all I've got left in this place, and unless there are some fucking prodigies in the tryouts this year, you're right. Should've been ours last year."

[caraxdelevingnex]

[faux-propriety]

where to begin

[absitomxn-deactivated20170809]

“Resting bitch face?” What the hell was that, now? Didn’t sound agreeable in the slightest by the name of it. Of course Albus had heard the term before, he had just never been able to pinpoint exactly what one of these was supposed to look like. It didn’t matter for now: Karis wasn’t liking her situation one bit, which was entirely understandable. Her friend could only commend her bravery as she still used her voice. Nothing could fully detract people from the pureblood girl’s poise.

Mechanically, brotherly instincts kicking in, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders like it’d make any difference. He wasn’t hiding her, per se, but he hoped she knew she could count on him should anyone think to mock her. Since the Hogwarts delicacies were starting the year with a bang, why wouldn’t Albus? Luckily –or unluckily, to be fair– most everyone had been hit with one jinx or other, making it highly unlikely for anyone to dare open their mouth and ridicule someone else.

“We wait for it to stop, I guess. The staff will find a way to make sure it doesn’t happen again, probably find the counter-spells for everything. Do you want to try and find something for your voice? Even if it’s temporary. You know those pastilles that make your voice go really deep and scratchy, so you can pretend to be sick and spend the day lounging in the common room instead of going to class? Maybe if you took one of those it’d lower your voice back to its normal pitch. If it doesn’t work, what’s the worse that can happen?”

Maybe not the smartest way to end a suggestion, but Alby couldn’t see much in the way of possible disastrous reactions. After last year, what sort of challenge were a few pranks? Those effects weren’t made to last, especially varied like that. There was no way the one responsible would have been able to apply themselves to casting so many different jinxes without getting caught, unless they worked in the kitchen – even then, the whole cooking staff would have had to be in on it, or at least a large group. It didn’t add up, and so the ordeal will soon be taken care of.

[faux-propriety]

"Yes, resting bitch face. You've never heard of it?" Karis really didn't feel up to explaining this to Albus right then, especially considering her vocal issues. But, it was Albus, and she wasn't going to leave him more curious about his own issue if she had some information that would help explain. So she took a deep breath and pushed aside her own unhappiness with her voice.

"It's," she hesitated, trying to form the right words. "Have you ever met a person where no matter how they seem: happy, sad, excited, intrigued, whatever, they still looked like they smelt the locker rooms after the Gryffindor team vacated it? That's resting bitch face. You're not mad, even though someone asks what pissed you off, because it's just your face." And then she started laughing, because that's how Albus was still looking at her. She reached up and pet at his cheeks, but her own laughter fueled her to more giggles. "It's just your face, Alby, and it's bitchin."

And maybe she hid her face to smother the laughter in Albus' chest when he hugged her, but she needed it. She needed to be grounded and calmed and she couldn't do that when she was getting a sensory overload from the other people around them freaking out as well. While she heard his words, she hated that after everything they'd all gone through from the year before, it was always just a waiting game for the staff to get everything sorted. Karis wasn't a particularly patient person to begin with - ask her Quidditch team - but a stressed-out and vulnerable Karis was just plain mean. She needed to get out of there.

When she finally pulled away, she cast a quick glance around the room. Unable to locate Griffin or Rian, or even Scorpius or Fairfax, she glanced back to Albus, feeling slightly guilty for what she was about to suggest. "Can we just... go? I don't fancy being around everyone right now. I want a blanket and maybe some tea, but mostly I want not to be alone." All of this was said without meeting Albus' gaze. She usually considered herself strong and capable of handling the tough things thrown her way, but right now she wanted out and she was determined to take it.

[teamgriffing-blog]

“Hey,” he frowned at her, opening his jacket up to enfold the slim blonde in as much as he could, pulling it uncomfortably tight around his shoulders. Felt like he was gonna go Hulk and rip the backing right out. “You alright? Because you look like the other side of a Listerine enema, the hell Snapples?” Yeah, yeah, neuter him after he’s checked her temp, okay? He cradled her face, pressed the backside of his hand under her fringe.

“Shut the fuck you, you’re a guest star in the next Jane Austen novel. Congrats, we’ll find you a Mr Darcy or whatever the hell.” Griff fell into step with her, almost tipping over face first down the stairs but caught himself in the nick of time on the banister to continue. “It’s that fucking dorm of yours, it’s the coldest, dankest place and believe me, I know. C'mon, we can go up.” He tugged in the opposite direction, heading towards a flight of stairs slowly rotating their way. “We can invade Rian’s dorm and get you to actually sleep somewhere not under Satan’s asshole?”

[faux-propriety]

"Eurgh," Karis protested, wriggling her hands between herself and Griffin when she was squeezed into his marshmallow jacket with him. "Griff, I swear if I am actually sick, I will be sick all over you if you don't let me out," came the muffled reply of the angry fifth year Slytherin who didn't appreciate being smothered to death by Gryffindor man boobs.

"Unless he's the Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, count me out," she told him, pulling a face at the idea and letting herself be directed by one of the very few people she trusted enough not to walk her off a ledge. "This is the first time I've been ill since my first year," she protested. Karis quite liked her bedroom, thank you, and she wasn't really ready for an overprotective Griffin if it meant she was going to get absolutely no rest because he wanted to mother her.

"D'you promise me I'll get to sleep?" she asked, sounding doubtful. "And I'll say this now, if I wake up with you waiting to spoon feed me some fucking soup, Griff, I'll throw it in your face before soothing those burn wounds. It's creepy in a cute way, but when I'm sick even you won't be outside my awfulness." Consider him warned, she did her duty.

[teamgriffing-blog]

“That’s right, I’m your fucking God.” He couldn’t have been happier, honestly, to see the love of his platonic life all together and well. Griff snagged her around the waist and nope, fuckin’ ayy - screw that shit half lifted, half dragged her ass away from the banister as the platform beneath their feet swiveled. It had to be a contrary fucking day, the day bitchy snake couldn’t drag herself out of bed on time. Luckily, unlike her, he hardly cared about his attendance.

“I dunno, sourpuss, we could plunge horrifically to our deaths and go out as Romeo and…who was that fuck he killed? Because everyone’ll say you pushed me over the edge, or we could go fondle someone for some candy at Hogsmeade?” He nudged her towards the stairs that locked into place right in front of their little piggies, wagging his eyebrows. “Anything, really, just not to class, yeah?”

[faux-propriety]

"It's going to take more than me joking around before I start calling you my god, doll face," Karis snorted, which was followed by a tiny yelp of surprise as Griffin man-handled her person and reversed their positioning, placing her on the other side of him. It was unintentional on her part, but the plushness of his jacket was warm enough to not want to let go once she had both feet on the ground again.

"Mercutio," she answered dully and pulled out a tissue to dab at her face. "Would they think I killed you because I would've finally lost it? I'd kill my soul mate because I was finally sick of your ugly curly-haired mug? I'm not that novelesque, thanks." She looped her arm with his and pulled him onto the staircase, heading downward. "Normally I'd put up a fight about not going to class, but today has been an off day and nothing is going right anyway."

[faux-propriety]

where to begin

[absitomxn-deactivated20170809]

Karis’ fit of laughter wouldn’t have been very sunshine-and-flowers to begin with. The poor girl, who was the poster child for poised and classy even on her worst days, had seen such qualities diminish significantly since she ate… Whatever that was. Everything, most likely. Anything, for syntax. Therefore laughing at such a time was likely to be a rather unsettling affair, much too close to hysterics for comfort. Adding the squeaky little voice part to it? She sounded like an evil guinea pig. It was atrocious.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” he started to say, and he got that far before the tongue-lashing to end all tongue-lashings was thrown at him. He would have laughed, alright, he could admit it: he would have laughed had it been anyone other than Karis, because that voice was ridiculous but also because hey, what gives? So, as confusion often drives people to do, he frowned.

Or at least, tried to.

It was a very particular feeling, having his own face rebel against his will. They would cooperate for half a second, eyebrows knitting as they were supposed to, but some sort of invisible, until-then-unknown spring manifested itself and bounced the brows back to square one. So instead, Albus tried a smile: there, same thing. For a split second he felt like he could make it, but it simply didn’t take, oil on water and all that. That’s when it finally hit him that he had eaten that sodding food just like everyone else, and there was no such thing as luck where Peeves was concerned.

“Karis, Karis no, listen it’s my face, it won’t fucking move! I’m trying but it doesn’t– do I look blank or something? I’m trying, it’s the food, I swear I’m concerned!” Which he hoped could be heard through his tone, because he had no idea how he could persuade her if the fifth year had ever considered the idea that he wasn’t worried about her in the first place.

[faux-propriety]

Okay, so maybe she had lashed out at Albus, but really who could blame her? Karis trusted the strawberry-headed Slytherin and even the brief thought that Albus was messing with her hurt. She held his criticism, compliments, and easy conversation in high esteem; he was real with her in a way that many people weren't.

Karis had crossed her arms, a subconscious attempt at protecting herself when she felt so alone and vulnerable. But! She didn't walk away just yet - it was better to give the benefit of the doubt and let Albus explain himself even in the face of potential ridicule.

It was a strange thing, watching Alb's face fluctuate between genuine emotion and that of what looked like careful neutrality. While his face rebelled against him, she was relieved to see it didn't really affect his eyes. They looked neither dead nor glazed over, and while she wouldn't describe Albus as particularly animated, she could at least agree that something was not right. "There's a difference in looking blank and having resting bitch face," she answered finally, her existing frown deepening when she once again heard the squeak of whatever malevolent gerbil switched places with her voice box.

While the accusation at the food made sense, she also didn't want to have to second-guess what she was being served at the dinner table and willingly putting into her mouth. She was still freaking out, though it was less obvious, and she felt herself deflate with an exhausted, albeit squeaky, sigh. She stepped closer to Albus and rested her forehead against his shoulder.

"Alb, what do we do?"

[teamgriffing-blog]

“If you fucking insist on killing yourself, I ain’t gonna be watchin’.” Griff covered his eyes, but because wondering around blindly the halls of this shit-show was even stupider than this American was, peeked through his fingers. “Or you know,” the grimace of concern was hidden but oh fucking hell no, “you could not. That’d be preferable, really. There’s a goddamn novel idea right there.”

[faux-propriety]

Her step was confident and she knew the schedule, probably better than most, but the voice made her pause and she stopped walking the moment her last chance to get on the moving stairway came and went. "Good fucking god, Griff," Karis sighed. She probably had reason to be upset with him, but well, a warning from Griffin Riley didn't pass by lightly. She readjusted her bag and tried not to press her lips together at the thought of being late to class, but it couldn't be helped now, could it?

She turned to look at the Gryffindor with a fond, but exasperated look. "Thank you. Where are we headed now, omnipotent one?" Because she obviously wasn't going to make it to this class today.

[faux-propriety]

where to begin

[absitomxn-deactivated20170809]

Hell. On bloody fucking Earth. Couldn’t that school breathe for a minute, have a little peace? The thing with Andy had only been the beginning of a nauseatingly fast wave of different jinxes, something that could have come from Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes but a lot less subtle, like bad products someone had salvaged from the dust bin.

Slowly, preparing for the worst, he opened his mouth and uttered a single word, anticipation turning his blood to ice. “Goddammit,” his lips mouthed without hesitation. His vocal cords didn’t protest his orders either, simply doing as they were told, right decibels and intonation. Experimentally he rose from his seat, sat down again, rose once more, and took a few steps along the bench. Everything seemed to be working perfectly fine so far, but why? Everything had been contaminated, and he had eaten without holding back. Surely something should be happening to him, there was no reason for him to have been spared by this folly?

He needed to find out. Scorpius had had to exercise his Prefect authority and was now gone chasing spooked out first years down, but it seemed the blond had been floating. Fairfax was nowhere to be seen and Albus wasn’t about to walk all the way to the Gryffindor table – if something happened along the way, he’d be in plain sight. If something happened right as he got there, his whole family would be able to laugh at him. The redhead was getting desperate when he heard something which, well, it didn’t sound familiar in the tone, per se, but the words themselves could only be coming out from one mouth.

“Karis? Karis! Dammit, what’s happening to everybody? I feel fine, is it going to suddenly happen? Do you want something to write on so you won’t have to squeak everything?”

[faux-propriety]

Did she want something to write on so she didn't have to squeak everything? The offer, while wholly appreciated because bless this blushberry's face, was a genuinely innocent one. She burst out laughing, because writing was the last thing on her mind, and she was near hysterical because how was she supposed to get through this? How long was this mess supposed to last this time?

Karis also had that odd feeling of relief at the sight of the friendly face - well, sort of. She was glad not to be dealing with it on her own this time, much like the shirts thing from last year. But Albus had an odd look about him. Sure, his wording and mannerisms were correct, but his face, it wasn't right.

The relief quickly disappeared in a hypothetical puff of smoke, and instead she settled a glare on Albus Fucking Potter. She was angry, damn him, and despite the high and squeaky voice, she was about to rip him a new one.

"Get the fuck out of here if all you're going to do is stand there and pretend. What the hell, Albus? I'm really freaking out here and all you can do is stand there acting like you have something to be worried about. I'm going to find the fucking matron, because at least I know she gives a damn when something's wrong."

[faux-propriety]

where to begin

Karis & Open

It started slowly, considering the other students around her were losing their minds. Karis had thought she’d somehow been given a metaphorical free pass for whatever this was, which was lucky for her when she saw a student in front of her belting out an anthem of some sort and looked to be in considerable discomfort doing so.

Beside her, a girl started hiccuping bubbles. Casting her gaze around for Rian, Griffin, Albus - anyone really - to make sure they were okay, she realised the chaos of The Great Hall had reached its high point. She still hoped she had been miraculously skipped over. Until, you know, she opened her mouth to excuse herself to her dormitory just in case.

What was supposed to be her normal voice came out high and squeaky, a helium-infused protest that ended in an even higher squeak as she gasped. This, contrary to her hope that she kept a low profile, made her curse aloud.

“Motherfucking cunt on a shitstone!”

And thus fifth year began.

[absitomxn-deactivated20170809]

“No one at all of course, I was really just offering.”

He rolled his eyes a little at the nickname, but by then knew better than to try and argue against it. Not that he’d allow it from anybody else, really. He chuckled at the mention of Quidditch, arching his eyebrows. “Oh, but if you insist, I can absolutely ask.” The overdone enthusiasm he affected in both tone and mannerism could hardly mask his sarcasm. “This sport is doing everyone so much good already, I can’t wait to see how many more wars will be waged thirty feet from the ground!”

He heaved a sigh, as much in answer to Karis’ question as in delight at finally sitting down. “Yeah, I just… I can’t seem to get on with anyone lately, my brother least of all.” Which wasn’t exactly new, but still. Despite the recent developments their relationship was still strained, and the younger one wasn’t exactly fond of the situation.

[faux-propriety]

Karis affected an expression of ‘mindless zombie’ as Albus proceeded to enthuse about quidditch and waging wars on broomsticks. When he finished, she snorted and nudged him with her shoulder. "You're not very good at the whole team spirit thing, but I won't hold it against you," she assured him.

"Not that I have much practise seeing as I have no siblings of my own, but aren't you meant to be at odds with your brother?" A line crinkled on her brow, and she leant forward to settle her elbows on her knees, fingers clasped between them. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offered. Truth be told, whatever was bothering Albus seemed to have a deeper concern attached to it, but she wasn't brash enough to just point that out without prompting. She could be reading him all wrong, after all.

[faux-propriety]

Thanks and if he does, you probably won't have to, but I appreciate the added sentiment. Have a good day, Miss Stern.

Yup. Have fun!

[faux-propriety]

I just... he's had a rough time with the last Hogwarts debacle and I don't get to be this for him very often and I want to help. What helps? What should I do? Please, I don't mean to be a bother, but this means a lot to me, Karis.

First of all, when he’s really bad off, he doesn’t like to be touched.

Kai, listen sweetie. I know that you care a lot for him and that he feels like it’s his job to take care of you, but he needs a support system too. Don’t try to belittle yourself to try making him feel better because it will not work. The easiest thing to do is to listen and let him burn himself out.If he’s really bad off, distraction won’t work. Sleep helps.

I swear to god that if he comes out of this worse off than before, I’m going to remove your scrotum and make you eat it for breakfast. I say this in only the fondest of terms.

[faux-propriety]

Any tips on how to comfort a loved one? It's for a friend.

What’s he done?

[dakotanelle]

New photos added: Elle Fanning ‘SoFilm’ Magazine - June 2016 issue

[faux-propriety]

“Okay, so when you’re done being an absolute idiot, perhaps you’d like to talk like a decent human being instead of some half-brained douche bag. Slang is disgusting, and if you want to fail this assignment, why bother asking me for help at all?”

[faux-propriety]

nettled, peeved, or vexed? || karis & griffin

[teamgriffing-blog]

Griff barked out a laugh because holy shit, wasn’t that true? Fucking bitch knew it too, probably, and jetted off only to bounce back into the picture when he shot fucking sparkles from his asshole. “Right? Thank Christ, then I don’t know where my good looks would have came from.”

The laughter continued when he fell back onto his ass, letting himself sprawl out because this was a sign from the Almighty above to keep his fucking dumbass down for the count.  "You’re only jealous I have more pussy game than you do, dude, get over it and maybe - just maybe - someone somewhere will take pity and sit on your face.“

He flopped his hand about, couldn’t find the energy to keep track of that thread of their unraveling conversation. Instead focused on her reaction with a pair of unsettlingly dark eyes that saw too much, knew too much. Goddamn peachy, nice knowing that cocktrumpet’s still doing plenty of business. Griff watched Karis and his fucking thought was going off, his vision blurring because he was fucking sick to death with this not fucking sleeping before he growled in outrage and clawed at his face. "Jesus Christ. Can we just burn the school down and claim it was arson in self-defense? My brain’s going to puddle out of my fucking nostril this all this shit. How is it November?”

“Are you -” this was a little more hesitant, when he looked up at the Slytherin, he was the same concerned fuckwad that asked after Carrow but found this a little harder. “Eh, fuck it. As long as you’re not getting a dick in the face then you’re fucking peachy.”

[faux-propriety]

"What good looks? Someone's built up some confidence, considering he looks like he woke up on the wrong side of Death." The comment had no edge to it, which probably showed more of Karis' concern than she would've liked. Which made absolutely no sense. Griffin was one of her closest friends, and she'd told several people that she considered him her soulmate. Platonically, of course, because a lifetime of being romanticised by Griffin Riley was enough to give anyone a mental shut-down - but merlin, did she love him.

"Do you have more pussy game than I do? Do you really? Because the last time I checked, you've been riding not-actually-Korean cock for the past several fortnights. Unless there's something special you want to share with the class about your supposed boy toy." She started to purposefully pluck blades of grass from the ground and litter a thin layer across Griff's torso. His head was too fidgety for that.

At his suggestion, there was no pause before Karis replied with a light, "Fiendfyre or will a simple incendio do?" She paused from her task to lean forward and work her fingers through Griffin's hair again, frowning. "Darling, you really should get some sleep. I wouldn't have bothered you if I knew you were so completely sleep-deprived. Want to go get some tea? I can tuck you in afterwards, bedtime story and pillow-fluffing included. No lullaby, though, you'd have to ask Kai for that. I bet he makes for a great alto."

She breezed over his attempted question as if she hadn't heard it. It wasn't very often that she felt guilty, but she was feeling it now. Griffin didn't need her sorry baggage as well; he already took on too much. "I'm okay," she answered instead, intentionally misconstruing the aborted question about Mia, though she sprinkled in enough truth to keep the lead from becoming molten in her belly.

[absitomxn-deactivated20170809]

“I will happily join you on your neutering spree. Maybe even sever some tongues so the gossiping can finally stop?” Heaving a sigh, Al took a seat next to the girl, eyeing her. “Make sure you rest well in between inflicting bodily harm, studying and practicing. I’d hate for you to overwork yourself when you’re one of the few people I find tolerable.”

[faux-propriety]

“And who said anything about me needing help?”

“Don’t worry, Alby, I rest well enough. I can honestly say I’m pleased to see you - at least I know I don’t have to worry about you asking me how well practises are going and if I think we’ll win. It’s refreshing.” It was nice having a friend who didn’t give a rat’s arse about Quidditch. Sometimes it was irking, with some people, but Albus wasn’t unnecessarily annoying about it.

She eyed her fellow housemate as he took a seat and waited until he settled before speaking again. “Everything alright?” Nasty as Karis could be, she was able to harbour a handful of sensitivity time and again.