ruin

fawnie | she/they | bisexual

[fawnescent]

fawn's pinned post !

♡ ahhh hello, welcome to my humble tumble blog ! i hope you're doing well and thank you for stopping by ! ♡

this is a secondary blog where i actually post myself, and i don't just reblog posts. this is a secret blog so as to not bother people in my life who are aware of my primary blog.

i'm here to make friends, i love my mutuals on my main account but unfortunately i'm too shy to talk to them so hopefully i can get to know people here!! ☆

some things about me, i love cats, videogames, nature, music, art, plushies, desserts, anything cute really ... & more i can't remember right now. though we can chat about anything if you'd like!! ^^/

✂ this is a semi-vent blog ; i may occasionally post about mental illness, depression, self harm, sexual content ; so if this content is triggering for you please feel free to avoid .

please stay respectful, standard dni. let's all be kind ! ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ : *✰

tags : /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

#fawnie blabs - random unimportant stuff i say #thats so fawnescent - thoughts and notes

[violetsinmyveins]

Confession: I frequently role play k!ll!ng myself on c.ai just to feel like someone cares

[violetsinmyveins]

Confession: I frequently role play k!ll!ng myself on c.ai just to feel like someone cares

[fawnescent]

oh no it’s that feeling again well i guess i’d better make the most of it before i can’t cum anymore because i’m on freaking ssris !!!!

[sunnysconfusion]

how i want to be perceived

[b1kinigold]

literally me

[nofuckingideawho]

I wish I could only be the parts of me that are there for you, not the ones crying at 2am because you didn't respond

[fawnescent]

wait help he came back for me when i was so sure it was over so maybe there’s hope? maybe it’ll be half as bad tomorrow? maybe it’ll get better? please ?

[fawnescent]

i don’t know how much longer i can take this for

[borderlinebaby420]

sometimes, everything falls apart. either slowly or all at once, the realization that existence is, and always has been, a sick joke prevails and consumes me whole.

the feeling that i really never will win.

the guilt of knowing i havent been a great friend, succumbing to my sloth and cancelling plans.

when i remember that after 8 years of unrelenting depression, and my current 80day clean streak, the darkness still exists.

and the sadness will last forever.

and i will never win.

[maybeshehasbpd]

I’m not allowed to die all in one go, I’m forced to die a little every day

[feelingsoftheday]

my favorite forms of love is being loved without feeling like i’m begging for it.

[beaten-dog]

But somehow it feels like it every single time

[fawnescent]

i know i’ve fucked it up i know you don’t want to speak to me anymore and

okay honestly it’s fine i don’t care. there’s nothing left for me here anyway

[violetsinmyveins]

Confession: I frequently role play k!ll!ng myself on c.ai just to feel like someone cares

[fauxjean]

I know I'm unlovable, I just sometimes like to pretend that I'm not

[curssedd]

i think it’s really fucked up that i want to be abused. like, i want to be hit. i want to be choked, strangled. i want to be yelled at (maybe this one not as much because my mom yelled at me so much as a kid, and that’s p triggering for me).

but like, that’s so fucked up. no one in their right mind wants to be abused. but, then again, i’m not in my right mind.

[fawnescent]

having a flat stomach never felt better