For reading my writing and always being so supportive! I want you to know that it's never overlooked and always appreciated. I'm really glad you're a part of our crazy little fandom. (And so is CPR bear!) 💕
#spreadingsomelove
#passiton
Omgg you're so welcome and i just wanted to say that i love your writing especially Tobias/Casey and I'm glad that this fanfom is still here 🥰🥰
Hello, peanuts. It’s that time, you know the drill, reply to the post with whatever list you want to stay on or if you want to leave.
Lists:
~ Perma: Everything Ethan x MC and occasional Bryce x OC, Sienna x OC, Tobias OC)
~ Edit: Only edits (picta, text, manips)
~ Fic: Only fics (Ethan x MC and/or Bryce x OC)
Please Respond by 4/4, and whoever doesn’t will be taken off. No hard feelings
WIP Wednesday - Delaying the Inevitable - The Final Chapter
OK - it's not phenomenal - but it's a bit of a peek.
No, unless noted, I'm not saying who is saying what to whom.
And it's not necessarily in order. :) Just one more!
"Because it's time. Don't you think? After all this time, she's still willing to see me, she's still willing to work it out... I think it's time I give it a try. A real try. Before I live to regret it."
"I'm happy to hear that. Of course, she's still there. She loves you. She always has, I'm glad you finally see it."
"You should know, it was you [redacted]. It was you all along."
"Of course, I still believe in magic, in fate... in love [redacted], I believe in it now more now than ever, because now, I know it's real."
"If you play that song from Wicked, I'll be forced to never speak to you again."
"Was that her?"
"It was. Have you called her?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We've had this discussion. I'd prefer if we could refrain from having it again."
"Oh, your preference? Look at me not caring about that. I'm going to repeat myself until you come to your senses. And don't give me that look! I can be a bigger asshole than you."
"I"m sure you hate me now."
"Oh, stop it, Casey. I could never hate you."
"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were leaving."
"I was."
"So... then why are you here?"
"Because I [redacted], and I want to stay... If you'll allow it, that is."
"At some point, you have to learn... the goal isn't just to survive... it is to live."
As a Publishing Professional I can say that this is 10000% accurate, and I am a little concerned you’re just giving away all of our industry secrets on Tumblr.
Open Heart has been over for eight months so I understand if some people aren’t interested in it (or in my writing) anymore. As such, it’s time for a routine tag list clean up!
Taglist:
Perma: All works and edits (except N S * F W)
Ethan x MC
N S * F W (1 8 + only please) *Not the same as Perma. Only this list will be tagged for N S F W. Please let me know if you want to be in this one in addition to Perma.
✔️ If you want to stay, please reblog/comment on this post (or DM me)
You can also let me know if you wish to be moved to a different section or added altogether
I try to mainly tag just fics, Picta edits, and HCs. Once in a while, I’ll tag other content I create, though sparingly.
If you decide to stay or join, I thank you immensely! Your interest and overall kindness towards me and my works mean the world ❤️
🚫 If you want to be removed, please ignore this post
You don’t have to interact or say anything at all. No hard feelings whatsoever!
You will be removed from new works starting 2/22/22 :)
If you do decide to go, please know I will forever be grateful for your interest and support these past two years! ❤️
Summary: Eighteen years ago, they tearfully ended their romance, and a deep friendship was born. Three years ago, they lost that too. Now, Casey finds herself in Boston, and they meet, potentially changing forever.
Warnings: Some sexual innuendo
Words: Approx. 2600 (sorry)
A/N: When I wrote Unblemished, I intended it to be a one-shot. Well, fanfic writers, if you had a dollar for every time that happened… An anon question had me thinking, and I realized their story was not over. As a reminder, this is an AU and not part of my Casey/Tobias HC.
A/N 2: Participating in @choicesfebruary2022challenge Day 16, Reunion
CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS
If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. 😊
Follow up to Unblemished
Can be read as a stand-alone
It was a perfect autumn morning. The scarlet and amber leaves created a beautiful contrast against the azure sky. The air was perfectly crisp, and the sounds of the city were now punctuated by the laughter of children being rushed off to school. She took a sip of her coffee and smiled. She always missed Boston, but here, today, on this perfect day, she was reminded of just how much.
She was meeting him for breakfast at ten, but she was uncharacteristically there early. She didn’t want to disturb him by ringing his bell so far in advance. So took the opportunity to stroll around Back Bay. She reminisced about her younger days. Back then, this neighborhood was hers. The townhome she was apprehensive about visiting now was her home. Most of all, he was hers, and she was his. Eighteen years had since passed, and if she knew anything now, life was filled with many chapters.
To her delight, they had remained friends through the years. Good friends who could always count on each other. She knew it was heart-wrenching for him when she met Craig, not six months after she left. She hadn’t intended on meeting someone else so soon. But her new life in Durham was lonely. Her career at Duke was soaring, but there were no close-knit friendships like she had before. Her free time was spent alone with nothing but memories of the past filling her mind. And that’s when she met Craig. His golden hair and gentle hazel eyes were overshadowed by his smile that could light up a room. He was funny and caring and a brilliant doctor. He was in awe of her intelligence, beauty, and wit. He was in love by their second date, and she had someone who made a foreign place begin to feel like home. So, their story began.
Tobias pretended to be happy for her and, in time, he was. He met Craig several times, and by the time they married just over a year later, he considered him a friend. But as he watched Casey say her vows to another man, he was filled with self-loathing because he couldn’t bring himself to stand in that place. He was destined to love her forever, but he couldn’t promise it to her. He knew he had been a fool.
As time passed, things became more comfortable. Tobias was the old family friend who visited every now and again. When her twins came along, they looked forward to his visits more than Casey. He was the fun “uncle” who spoiled them rotten and was always happy to get on the floor and roll around with them. Sometimes, when watching them, Casey wondered why he didn’t want this for himself, for them. But it no longer mattered, that was the past, and now, he was her dear friend.
Then, life happened. Casey was promoted, and so was Tobias. Her daughter's studies and activities ate the little free time she had. Craig and Casey rarely had time together, and it was hard. She didn’t entirely lose touch with Tobias on purpose, but it wasn’t by accident either. On Tobias’s last visit to their home, he forgot to cover the tattoo on his wrist one morning. Craig noticed right away, and he wasn’t pleased. If it had happened when their relationship was stronger… but it didn’t.
“No man keeps a woman’s name on his body, in a place where all the world can see unless there is a reason!”
“Craig, you’re overreacting!”
“Am I?! It isn’t like he lacks the resources to remove or alter it. And he’s hidden it from me! All the years I’ve befriended him, and he’s stayed under my roof! It took time for me to accept that my wife’s ex-lover was also her best friend, but I did because I thought what you shared was in the past. Now I know, at least for him, that wasn’t true.”
She had to make a choice, and she chose her family. So the phone calls and texts tapered off, the visits stopped, and then three years passed without a word.
Casey & Craig both received invitations a year in advance. Edenbrook was hosting a two-week conference. They were both offered the chance to lead workshops and a keynote speech on different evenings. Casey accepted immediately; he sent his regrets.
“Of course, you have to go,” he said sarcastically over breakfast, his newspaper never leaving hands. “Two weeks no less, all the more appealing.”
In the past, she’d argue, defend, reassure. But she was done with that. She stood from the table, threw her dish in the sink, and left the room without a word.
Now here she was. Anxiously waiting on a bench lining the picturesque street she always loved. About fifteen minutes before she was supposed to arrive, she saw his door open in the distance, then she walked out. Her stunning red mane glistened in the sunlight, and her baggy sweatshirt was far too big on her. It was probably his. They laughed and traded smiles, and before she left, he gave her a long hug. As she passed Casey on the street, she was shocked by how young and beautiful she was.
“Oh, Tobias,” she groaned to no one. She had to be less than half his age! But then again, what business was it of hers?
The door swung open, and his smile was bright as the sun that day. He immediately took her in his arms, and they hugged for what felt like an eternity. She was relieved when he said they should eat out. She wasn’t sure how she would handle being in the place she called home again, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to see her there.
It was too nice of a day to be indoors, so they stopped at a local deli and walked to the Esplanade to share the food they had purchased. Although three years had elapsed between them, they still felt like home. Breakfast was pleasant, filled with laughter. Neither wanted to change the mood, so she didn’t ask about the beautiful redhead, and he didn’t ask why she stopped returning his calls.
With breakfast done, they began to stroll along the path alongside the river.
“So, you’re here for two weeks?”
“Mmm-hmm, a little over, actually. I won’t have much free time during the conference, and I really want to spend time with Sienna. So I extended it a bit.”
“Really?” He said, a little shocked. “I’m surprised Craig, and the girls are okay with you being away from you a day longer than they have to.”
“Yeah, well…” she tapered off.
He looked at her with growing concern, and she motioned toward a patch of grass. She sat down, crisscrossing her legs underneath her, and he leaned back on his arms beside her.
“So, what’s going on?”
“Life… life changes,” she sighed.
It was clear this was to be a serious talk, and he wanted to assure her that she had his full attention. So he sat up straight and looked at her, removing his dark sunglasses so he could look directly into her eyes. Casey began to giggle nervously as she watched him.
“Something funny?” He smiled.
She pulled his hand toward her, running her fingers along the tattoo on his wrist that still bore her name.
“Does this bother you?” She mumbled.
Tobias looked down at her hand, which mindlessly lingered on his. She quickly retreated as her cheeks turned red.
“No,” he assured her. “Not at all. Loving you was probably the best part of my life. Sure, sometimes when I see it, I miss you, but thinking about you never makes me sad. But right now,” he stalled, “you tracing it, your fingers on my wrist, that bothered me a little.”
“Why?”
A tender smile came to his lips. He didn’t have to say a word. She understood what he was saying, and he knew that she did.
“Do you ever wonder… what if?” She asked.
Now he turned to the water, his eyes narrowed, and Casey wasn’t sure if it was because of the sun reflecting off the water or if it was because he was deep in thought.
“Yeah. I do,” murmured. “But, we both went on and got what we wanted, right? You’re married, have 2 beautiful children, the big house, and you are happy…” he turned back to her, “right?”
Casey’s eyes reddened and became choked up. She gently shrugged, deflecting his question with a question of her own.
“Are you happy? Did you end up with the life that you wanted?”
A puff of air escaped his chest as he bit his lip and turned back to the water.
“Yeah. But let’s just say that the life I wanted was a lot emptier than I ever expected it to be, and…” he swallowed.
“And what?” she queried, almost too eagerly.
He turned toward her, his face looking precisely as it had eighteen years before when he said goodbye.
“My biggest regret is that I didn’t recognize that sooner.”
He never removed his eyes from hers, even after they began to fill with tears. She pursed her lips in an attempt to stop them from quivering, and then she just blurt it out.
“I’m divorcing Craig.”
Taken aback, Tobias’s eyes bulged. “You’re what?”
“We’re getting divorced. I told him several months ago. The irony is, he was planning to do the same, and I just beat him to the punch. The truth is, we had been dead for a long time, and it’s time we just bury it.”
“Wha… what happened?”
“In some ways, I guess he got tired of playing second best, and I got tired of pretending that wasn’t true. That makes me sound pretty awful, doesn’t it? But it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. But that doesn’t alleviate the guilt.”
“What about the girls?”
They took it as well as can be expected. They’re sixteen now, and they could see things weren’t … right. It’ll be an adjustment, but one thing I’m sure of is that Craig and I will put them first. So it will be okay in the end.”
“I’m really sorry, Casey.”
“I’m not.” She answered confidently. “ Sure, it’s hard, but…I finally get my life back! I get to be me, and I don’t have to pretend every day of my life anymore. Tobias, I am finally free….”
A look of relief overtook Tobias's face, and he gave her hand a squeeze.
“Then… I’m happy for you.”
They both looked out on the water, sitting in comfortable silence for a long period of time. A thousand questions were playing in his mind, but he was determined to keep them to himself. But in the end, he couldn’t stop himself from asking the simplest yet most difficult question of all.
“ Why?”
“Excuse me?
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“How did it happen? Why was he ‘second best’? Why?”
She looked upon him with a tenderness and sincerity he had never seen in anyone before. And she promised herself, no more lies, no more pretending. Even if it made things awkward, even if it meant they’d return to being strangers once again. She was done with the lies.
“Because I’m in love with you. I always have been. I can’t say I wish I never left because I’d be wishing away my girls, but in a perfect world, I would have stayed with you and still gotten them somehow,” she laughed nervously, “I know I sound ridiculous right now. But I can’t tell you how many nights I lay awake in bed, just wondering… I’m so sorry, T, I shouldn’t put this all on you. These were my mistakes, and they’re mine to live with, but you asked, and I can’t lie to you.”
She lowered her head, not sure if it was embarrassment or fear that prevented her from facing him right now. But he never took his eye off of her. Not when her head tilted forward, not when he saw a few teardrops fall, not when she lifted her hand to wipe them away. He reached over and gently lifted her chin to face him once again.
“You still… you still love me? After all this time, you still love me?”
“I never stopped,” she nodded. “I’m so sorry, T. I should have never left.”
“No,” he breathed, “I never should have let you go.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never stopped loving you. Not for a second. When you were awake thinking of me, I was under the same sky thinking of you. There hasn’t been a day that has passed in the last eighteen years that I have not thought of you.”
Casey’s face twisted, and she gave the battle she was waging to hold back the sobs building in her chest. Tobias reached forward and pulled her into his chest, holding her as close as he could, rubbing soothing circles on her back, and wishing he could take away any pain she felt.
“I love you, Casey,” he whispered. He released her and nervously smiled, “You know what this means, don’t you? If you want, and you don’t have to decide right now, but if you want, we can have a second chance.”
“But, wait. Aren’t you with someone now?”
“Me?”
“Yes. I saw you earlier today. Right before I arrived, with a beautiful young woman. You hugged her, and….”
“Casey,” he half-laughed, “that’s Bethany. She’s not my girlfriend, my God, she’s practically a child. She came into the hospital a few years back; she was in foster care. She was so lost, and she had no one. So I helped her out. Got her a safe place to stay convinced her to go to college. I’ve been the much older big brother she never had. I love her to bits, but not in that way.”
Embarrassed, Casey playfully punched him in the arm. “Well, in fairness to me, old T would have had no problem with that.”
“Old T was dead from the moment I met you. But…I’m free as a bird, kid. And if you want to try this again, you just have to say the word.”
She reached up and grabbed his cheeks, bringing his lips to hers. They kissed for the first time in nearly two decades, yet it was the most familiar thing they ever felt.
“You’d give me a second chance?” she whispered.
“You’d give me a second chance?” he asked.
“Yes,” she smiled through tears, “Yes! I never dreamed...”
“Neither did I,” he grinned, “but I’ll tell you something. I’m not going to let you go this time. I’ve lived a lifetime without you, and I’m going to do all I can to make sure this is forever.”
“We always should have been forever.”
“Well, I believe life works out the way it’s supposed to, even if we don’t understand it. I wish we hadn’t missed all this time, but maybe we had to. Who knows, if one of us gave in back then, we may have resented each other, grown apart, but now… we’re both where we are meant to be. We can’t throw this chance away.”
“No, we can’t. I love you, Tobias.”
“I love you, Casey.”
He raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek. She smiled when she noticed the tattoo and took his hand in hers, brushing her fingers along her name, and they both smiled.
“Does this bother you now?” she asked.
“Not in the slightest bit.”
Headcanon of how this goes on from here coming soon.
(And then it is really over...)
Summary: Sometimes walking away is the right choice, the only choice, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Warnings: Breakup, end of a relationship
Words: Approx. 1300
A/N: I apologize in advance. THIS IS AN AU… my babies are completely and happily in love forever and ever in my HC. This is just nonsense in my head.
A/N 2: I am also participating in this month’s @choicesfebruary2022challenge, Day 24 Break up.
A/N 3: Also participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge “To be or not to be” – this is a Not to be. 💔 (Did I mention I'm sorry?)
CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS
If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. 😊
He watched her as she made her way down the path towards him. He was at the very spot they had shared picnic lunches to break up the workday and summer days on blankets soaking in the sun. It was the scene of a fierce snowball fight that ended in rolling in the snow peppering each other with kisses just months before. It was a cornucopia of beautiful memories, someplace they had made their own. Suddenly, he regretted asking to meet here; he hoped this one last memory would not mar all that came before.
She approached him sheepishly, looking away slightly, her hands buried in her pockets. She looked so cold. As much as she loved Boston, its winters never brought her much joy. He smiled sadly; she would be happier now. Her beautiful smile greeted him, but it didn’t go up to her eyes. Leaning against his chest, she inhaled the sandalwood scent that had become so familiar. It felt like home, and leaving home was never easy, even when necessary.
Lifting her chin, he gently kissed her forehead. He wanted more. He wanted to taste her lips, feel her warmth to kiss her as he had a thousand times before, but now it seemed wrong, unfair, even cruel to do so.
“Well, happy Valentine’s Day eve,” she nervously chuckled.
“I think I liked last year’s better,” his mind went back to the night. She had made a mess of his kitchen, trying so hard to make a special meal for them to share. She looked so cute, pouting when she realized it wouldn’t materialize. He held her and kissed her until she finally felt better, then they shared pizza and wine on his living room floor.
“You’re really going to go,” he said, caressing her cheek.
“Tobias,” she said, looking away, “we’ve discussed this a dozen times before.”
“I know,” he gasped, “I think I’m just saying it out loud to make it a reality. You’ll like the weather,” he smiled, “you’re better suited for the weather in Durham.”
“Yeah,” she shrugged, “but honestly, I don’t think it will ever feel like home.”
“Home is where your heart is, sweetheart. You’ll find a way.”
Tears began to fill her eyes, and she bit her lip in an attempt to stop them. She promised herself she would not do this. “As I said, it will never be home.”
Leaning into him, she nuzzled her face into his scarf, the perfect place to hide the tears that escaped her eyes as she willed them to stop.
“Are you going to miss me?” She asked.
Pulling back, he looked at her with astonishment. “How could you even ask that, Casey? You know the answer.”
“Sometimes I just wonder, why…” she trailed off, her broken voice betraying her just like her tears had moments before.
“We want different things, baby. I wish we didn’t, but we do, and I care about you too much to deny you all that you deserve… which is better than me.”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice taking on a colder tone, “but I think I should have had more of a say in what I deserve.”
“You did,” he strolled toward her again, “you didn’t make this decision lightly, and you weren’t forced. You’re doing the right thing it’s just… letting go is hard. Trust me, I know.”
She leaned up against the trunk of an old oak tree, the emotion taking a toll on her body, leaving her weak. She knew this would be hard, but she had underestimated how much so.
“As much as I want to spend every second with you, I feel like we should make this short. Putting it off when it’s just waiting there.. this big empty space… it’s a bit too much, you know?”
“I know,” he said, staring at the ground. “I don’t know if this will make it better or worse, but if I could ever want it… the house, the kids, the white picket fence… if it could have been with anyone, it would have been with you.”
She lifted a tissue to her eyes with her gloved hand. She had given up on trying.
“Yeah, I think that made it worse.”
“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “Maybe that just solidifies it. It’s for the best.”
She nodded rapidly, regaining her composure. These were their last moments together, and she wanted them to end as they had begun. Two friends who had become more, who made each other laugh more than they ever cried, who cared about each other… loved each other… in a way neither had before. So much they had dared to dream about forever; until forever fell apart.
“Well, I should go,” she stammered.
He lifted his hand, brushing her hair back over her ear, memorizing her face for all time. His lips pressed tightly together as he waited until he could speak without breaking.
“I guess this is goodbye,” he whispered so softly that she wasn’t sure it was said. Then she gently chuckled, a barely-there smile came to her lips.
“What is it?” He asked, still caressing her cheek.
She pointed to the small tattoo on his wrist. They decided to get them on vacation together after they had a little too much to drink.
Casey.
Written in a script so elaborate, it was almost difficult to discern. She had a matching one, bearing his name, on her hip. Her mother was furious over it.
“It’s bad luck! You have a good thing, and you just jinxed yourselves.” They laughed at her at the time… and now, here they were.
“I bet you regret that now,” she said sadly.
He lifted his hand to the streetlight to get a better view. “This?” He asked, shaking his head. “Oh, no. How could I ever regret this.”
“Well, if you do settle down one day, I’m sure the next woman in your life won’t appreciate it.”
He smiled more genuinely. “If that should happen, and it’s not likely, but if it should, I know a guy who could turn this into a nice cat or something,” he chuckled. Then, with a look of longing and pure sincerity on his face, he turned to her. “But I would always know what lies underneath, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“I know,” she cried, “I feel the same way about mine. I never want to forget that this happened.”
“I couldn’t if I tried.”
They both leaned in toward each other. Within a moment, their lips were entwined in a manner that befitted their goodbye. Filled with the passion, the love, the sorrow, and the regret that they shared. One more moment until their story came to an end. Neither knew that a moment so painful could also be filled with such love and tenderness. A beauty all of its own.
Time moved in slow motion as she slowly pulled away, but it couldn’t be delayed any longer.
“Goodbye, Tobias. I’ll always love you.”
“I’ll always love you too.”
A gentle snow began to fall as their hands parted for the final time. Their eyes fixed on each other until they turned, walking in different directions. The metaphor wasn’t lost on either of them. Life brought them together, but the lives they wished to lead tore them apart. In the end, it would be for the best, but at that moment, it felt like anything but.
He was happy to find that that their spot brought only happy memories as time passed. Sometimes she’d visit, and they’d sit there together and laugh about old times. In time, her tattoo became a pretty rose, one devoid of thorns. But Tobias’s remained unabashedly “Casey.” Though he’d cover it out of respect when her husband, who became a good friend, was around. But he never regretted it being there, it was a reminder, a memory of the only time he ever truly loved and that could never bring him pain.
(I'm sorry. 💔)
A/N: OK - an anon ask convinced me - this gets a Part 2/Epilogue.
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende)
Word count: 2K
Rating/Warning: T/ nothing too expl*cit
Premise: After a New Year’s Eve kiss, they’re not pretending anymore. Part III of As Long as You Love Me So and Auld Lang Syne
Author’s Note: *waves nervously* Hi. So it’s been a year. I left these two kissing in the cold for that long. Thank you so much for all the questions I got about this! I hope you like it!
“Happy New Year!”
The new year was welcomed by cheers, singing, and laughing. Yet, the sound of the revelry was nothing more than an echo to Ethan’s ears as he kissed her. The only sound that rang true was the thundering of his victorious heart, joyous at finally having her in his arms again.
