sink or swim

holdin' on for dear life.

[fckjuli-blog]

@julirossi:My mom just went to Italy to see her parents for a month how nice.. home alone..

[dashkourtney-blog]

[fckjuli-blog]

   @julirossi uploaded a new photo.

when me and the little get caught snoozin' 

↳ 507 LIKES ♥, 45 COMMENTS:

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[fckjuli-blog]

@mattybrewster: @julirossi ikr

@julirossi: @mattybrewster i'll come by later do you want me to bring you anything from home or something?

[fckjuli-blog]

@mattybrewster: @julirossi they wont give me thattt much :(

@julirossi: @mattybrewster how depressing

[fckjuli-blog]

@mattybrewster: @julirossi ohhhh yeah

@julirossi: @mattybrewster high af???

[fckjuli-blog]

@mattybrewster: @julirossi :)

@julirossi: @mattybrewster hopefully they gave you some morphine

[fckjuli-blog]

@mattybrewster: seriously tho im going to have the coolest scar

@julirossi: oh yeah the coolest

[fckjuli-blog]

  Tristan breathed out a silent laugh as his friend nudged him, leaving him to sway a bit, as he listened to her, still looking away from her. He was about to say something, before he was cut off by her. Chuckling a bit, he finally looked at her, a slight smirk on his face. “Oh really? So you were jealous of Bella huh? Taking away all your Tristan time?” he said teasing her a bit.

Juli shook her head and laughed. "I have no reason to be jealous of her, I just missed my friend." She shrugged. "I mean it was my fault partially I got with Jett, and forgot about everything else which was wrong of me.'' She said with a small smile. "We just faded apart I guess."

[fckjuli-blog]

  Sighing, he bit his lip looking down, in denial that he was actually going to be telling her this now. “Its nothing….” he mumbled, bringing his knees  down away from his chest, so his legs were straight in front of him. “Its just…” he started again,  running a hand through his hair, looking straight ahead, “…I had the biggest fucking crush on you.”

Juli could't help but laugh when he said he had a crush on her when they were kids. "Everyone had a crush on me." She teased before nudging him lightly. "Well it's a good thing you held your feelings in until they went away because now I'm just a mess." She said tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm not going to lie part of the reason I didn't like Bella was because she was your girlfriend and we faded apart, instead of blaming myself I blamed her."

[fckjuli-blog]

  Hearing the news she just gave him, his eyes widdended, not sure how to react, to be grateful, now that she was out of the mess that her dad created not for only her but her whole family, or sorry for her loss. “Oh my fucking god,” was all he could think of saying running his hand through his own hair. Chuckling a little, he raised his eyebrow at her. “I wasn’t aware of that.” Nodding, the memories of middle school coming back to him, there being only one big worry throughout those awkward years. “And you were mine.”

"Yeah.." She said with a nod and shoved her hands in her pocket. "I don't know where you were but luckily I already had a black eye beforehand." She said with a chuckle before raising an eyebrow. "Me? How did I worry you?" She asked furrowing her eyebrows.

[fckjuli-blog]

  "What do you mean, gone?" he asked, looking up from her hair for the moment, brushing the stand he was playing with behing her ear. His eyes widended a bit at her comment. "W-wait? She punched you? When?" Laughing sliently, he nodded. "I had some worries, though," he admitted.

"Well...He's dead." She said taking a deep breath. "It's a long story.." She said before nodding at his question. "Yeah at homecoming, I was trying to get Matt to calm down and come home with me because he was high and she wanted me to stay out of it." She shrugged giggling a little. "Oh yeah? " She asked raising her eyebrow. "The biggest worry I had was picking out a puppy and what kind of pizza I wanted." 

[fckjuli-blog]

  Tristan stopped twirling with her hair hearing what she had to say. “Don’t worry, your safe now ok?” he croaked out, before continuing to play with his hair. “In all honestly, crappy.” he said shrugging. “Ever since the whole coke thing, my life has been crappy. I almost lost Matty as a friend, now this, I am in a never ending fight with Hadley it seems like, I just broke up with Bella, which is kind of a relief actually cause….” he said stopping himself, dropping her hair from his finger, looking down.

"I don't think I'll ever be safe again, especially with my dad being....gone." She said and frowned slightly as he explained what was going on with him.  "I never liked Bella anyway, especially after she punched me in the face." She said and smiled lightly. "It would be much easier if we could just go back to being in middle school huh? Nobody had worries back then."

[fckjuli-blog]

  Shrugging he reached up, and started playing lazily, and mindlessly with a strand of her hair that was hanging loose, twirling it around his finger. “Anything else but this.” Getting lost and concentrated on that strand of hair, he said, “How have you been? I mean, since you got back.”

Juli looked down at his hand in her hair and smiled softly, but it faded as soon as he asked how she's been. "Um   I've been okay." She said with another shrug. "I've been hiding a lot, I'm scared to even leave my house most of the time, but I'm getting better." She reassured. "How are things with you? Besides this I mean."

[fckjuli-blog]

  Looking back at her, he gave her a weak smile, before looking down. “Its been a long night Juliana.” Hanging his head a little he sighed, sitting there in silence for a moment. “Tell me something to get my mind off this?”

Juli nodded her head in agreement. "The second longest night of my life." She said with a huff and then looked at him and shrugged. "Sure, what do you wanna talk about?" 

[fckjuli-blog]

  "I just……its scary to think about a life without him," he said softly, still looking at her with tired, sad eyes. "I mean, we have been through so much together, I- I don’t know how to like go about without him. I-I know he is strong, but, bullets are stronger." Wiping his face, he turned away. "I-I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want me crying and shit."

"So try not to think about that stuff, I promise you it's going to make it worse for you." She said with a small huff.  "You can cry, it's okay." She said calmly and looked at him. She wasn't someone who ever showed her emotions she just hid them. "It's okay Tristan you don't need to hide your tears for me." She reassured.

[fckjuli-blog]

The brunette boy watched Juli as she rambled on, him not fully comprehending her words. Nodding, he looked straight ahead again before saying huskily, “I don’t know what I am going to do if he doesn’t make it. Hes-hes my best friend Juli. My- my brother.” Tristan could start to feel tears in his eyes as he kept talking, but didn’t bother to wipe them away as he turned looking towards Juli. “I- I can’t loose him.”

Juli didn't know what to say to him, who knew what was going to happen to Matt? "You have to think positive Tris, I know it's hard but you have to try to be positive for him." She explained lightly. "I don't think you'll lose him, I think he'll make it through this he might be different after it all but he'll make it through it, he's strong." 

[fckjuli-blog]

  Looking at her he nodded, before looking straight, letting out a long sigh. Closing his eyes, he bit his lip, before looking down, letting a tear roll down his face. “I-I just can’t believe this would happen to him…” he said softly. “I mean… we all knew his dad had the gun…I should have called him over tonight… should have been there to take the bullet.”

She shook her head and sighed. "This is...It's tragic and it sucks, but we can't change it as much as we want to, there's no going back and changing it." She admitted. "We can go on and on about the what ifs, like what if tonight was the night he came over and ate chipotle instead of a few nights ago, or if you did go over there, then everything would be different, but the damage is already done, and sadly we can't go back and change it." She rambled out before taking a deep breath. "Lets just worry about what's happening now, and help him now since we couldn't before."