fuck;

and yeah i like to fuck, i gotta fuckin' problem

[fckkmiles]

sorenroth​:

Yeah, man, no problem. I really can’t imagine what you guys are going through. I’ll always be around if you need me. Ben’s gonna be alright. I know I said it already, but I mean it. He will. 

I’m glad he’s finally in a good spot, but god damn... if it didn’t give us medical PTSD. 

[fckkmiles]

alekskostenko​:

“The more the merrier, man,” Aleks smiled as a sense of relief filled his body - he was happy to see Miles feeling a bit more comfortable and calm.  He called Ember, Oakley and Niko from the family room, and they slowly but surely scurried out to the foyer. “You know, you lucked out with baby mamas,” Aleks joked to Miles, tossing a tan beanie over Niko’s curly hair, “I couldn’t even imagine all of my ex-girlfriends being in a room together, let alone living in the same house.  Aubree and Taylor handle it so well. You can tell how much they love the kids.” 

If I didn’t think they could handle being around each other, I never would have invited Taylor to live here. If anything, I think Aubree will end up hurting Taylor’s feelings over Taylor hurting Aubree. But they are both the most... fiercely loyal and sweetest girls I’ve ever met. And I love having Chaisee around. She’s the best parts of both of us and she and Ava are just the best of friends. Well.. sisters. Sorta. 

[fckkmiles]

lucaporter​:

Ah, shit, alright. I’ll try my best, I’ll try my best. 

No pressure or anything....

Hey, speaking of pressure.......... What do you think about Taylor? Like... my baby mama Taylor.

[fckkmiles]

heh heh....nice

[fckkmiles]

milesscott: baby shark doo doo doo doo do doo

[fckkmiles]

aubreekipler​:

Miles was special. He was a tattooed bad boy with a heart of gold. A young man that might scare an old lady on the street just by his appearance alone, but also the World’s Best Father. He was Aubree’s rock. Her anchor in the rocky waves of life. Her saving grace. And though life had brought her her fair share of evil ex-boyfriends, Miles would the last man she ever loved. She wasn’t much of the marriage type, (though a sexy wedding dress and the kids dressed up as flower girls and ring boys was awfully appealing), but she knew that with or without the wifey title, she and Miles would be together forever. It was that that made Benny’s health issues just a little less scary to Aubree - because her and Miles were facing it together. “I love you more,” She whispered back to him, taking her thumbs and wiping the tears off his cheeks and the little bit of snot from his nose, “We’re so lucky to have you, Mi, you have no idea. You’re the best father I could’ve ever dreamed of for my kids,” It was Aubree’s turn to tear up, her eyes fogging with tears, “Benny’s going to be alright, right? I know everyone is telling us he’s going to be, but, I don’t know. I want to know what you’re thinking.” 

Miles was a nurse in the pediatric oncology ward. Every so often, he got to do rotations on the surgery ward or will be pulled into the maternity ward for births. Miles was never allowed in the NICU as he wasn’t a neonatal nurse, but he did know that those nurses fought for those babies. They saw gastro babies every so often, and they were hard cases, but at his hospital, all of those babies had gone home. Miles was confident Benny was going to be fine, but the scary part was all of the after-effects. The back and forth to the hospital was really hard. The not knowing why he wasn’t putting on weight or keeping food down was hard. His screams of hunger pain were exhausting. Not having all of his kids in one room was frustrating. “He is,” Miles nodded, holding onto Aubree, both of his arms draped over her shoulders. “I don’t think it’ll be easy, but he’ll be okay. He’s gotta be. And he’s in the best place he could be. He is... safe,” Miles nodded, feeling tears well back up in his eyes. “He is... loved. He is strong. He is meant to be here. He’s a fighter, and he is deeply cared for by the team of doctors and nurses at the hospital. He’ll come home, and we’ll all be together, and we’ll all be able to sleep soundly at night. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but... soon.”

[fckkmiles]

alekskostenko​:

As Aleks was embraced by Miles, it took him back to the younger, scared man he was himself after Viv passed away. He remembered taking every ounce of humility he had in himself and knocking on Nora’s door, a now single father of three, and breaking down, pulling his estranged, foster sister in for a long, much-needed hug. Aleks had come a long way since then, and he was so thankful for Nora’s kindness, now, he hoped to be that beacon of hope and kindness for Miles. “Don’t apologize,” Aleks said calmly, patting Miles back, “The worst thing you can feel as a parent is hopeless. You always want to have the answers to their questions and the things to make their boo-boos and problems better. It’s hard when you can’t. I don’t know if you believe in any kind of God, man, but a lot of praying has really got me through my hard times. I know that sometimes feels like a cop out, but it’s the truth. Well, God and booze and Nora and lots of babysitters all helped me if I’m being entirely honest,” Aleks cracked a small smile, taking another look at the worn down young man in front of him, “Why don’t we go grab a bite to eat? Take a couple of the kids off of Aubree’s hands for a little and I’ll bring along my motley crue too. Might be nice for all of you to get a change of scenario and some greasy food.” 

Miles wiped his face one last time with the back of his hands. With his hands on his hips, he nodded in agreement. “Yeah, man. I could always eat,” Miles spoke. “My group will enjoy it. I’ll, uh, invite Taylor and her two. I’d like to see Chaisee for a bit too.”

[fckkmiles]

lucaporter​:

Yeah, yeah, I’ll take a couple of ‘em and we’ll go to the park and have a picnic and do all the things! You and Aubree can go be with Lil Man for as long as you want. I’m also the World’s Best bedtime story reader, so if I need to put the kids down to sleep, I can probably do that too with little to no tears, not to flex on you or anything. 

-

I hope you do funny voices because Ava won’t sleep if you don’t do the voices. 

[fckkmiles]

sorenroth​:

I pray I never have to go through it either, and to be honest, I think Moon was a one ‘n done in terms of kids for me. As long as he doesn’t break any bones or get too sick growing up, hopefully I’ll be alright and stay outta the hospitals with ‘em. Mina’s a kook sometimes though, so, she might end up busting something too, but yeah. Yeah, man, and I really mean it when I say let me watch your kids or cook ya’ll some dinner or do anything I can to help. 

-

Thanks for talking to me, man. Not many’a my friends got young kids, so they don’t know what it’s like. 

[fckkmiles]

milesscott: And just as we thought we were home free, we turn back around and landed back in the hospital. Feeding tube, IV drips, wires, monitors, pokes and prods. He’s screaming in pain from being hungry. No parent wants to hear that their child is being classified as “severely malnourished” but we’re lucky to rule out anything with his blood and brain. We’re being referred to a specialist that should help get us answers for him. But for now, Aubree and I are here with our boy, and we’re lucky enough to be able to love on him this time. Benny, you’re my hero.

[fckkmiles]

[fckkmiles]

aubreekipler​:

Aubree was used to Miles’ temper. Sometimes it bubbled up slowly, other times it was calm and tamed, and rarely, it was eruptive. This time, she could see it had been brewing for a while. As for her, the tipping point came from the producers asking about Bennett, and she was one-hundred percent with Miles’ as he stormed out of the make-shift studio in the basement. “Hey,” She laid a gentle hand on his back, and finally, for the first time since Benny’s birth, Miles broke down. It was rare that he cried, and when he did it was normally in happy moments versus sad ones, so Aubree just pulled Miles in close, cuddling into him like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly. “You don’t have to keep your shit together for the both of us, baby,” She breathed, looking up at his sweet face and wiping his tears away with her thumbs, “We both got us for the both of us. You don’t have to carry it all on your own. He’s going to be alright,” Aubree planted a kiss on his teary, snotty lips, “I love you.” 

Miles wasn’t quick to snap, usually. He held onto his shit pretty tight, but you can only bottle so much before you overflow. And although it wasn’t a temper like Mika had, Miles couldn’t help but explode every now and again. Like a Mentos in a Coke bottle. He kissed Aubree back through tears and a little snot. “I love you,” he whispered. He took her face in both his hands and kissed her again and again and again. If she hadn’t just given birth, he’d take her back to their bedroom and lay her down nice and good. “I love you so much.” He wrapped his arms around her neck and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “And our babies. All of ‘em. Goddammit, if you all aren’t the bed things that have ever happened to me, I don’t know what is.”

[fckkmiles]

alekskostenko​:

As Miles shouted, Aleks saw a lot of his younger self in him. It was just a couple weeks after Viv got diagnosed with her fast-spreading cancer that he had an outburst of emotions just like this. How would he ever be able to survive as a widow with three young children? To him, his world would seemingly end when Viv passed, and yet it was the words of his sweet sister, Nora, that kept Aleks’ head above water then. Now, he hoped to be just as supportive to Miles. “You’ve got us all, alright? A whole family behind you who won’t let you hold up the world all by yourself,” He spoke in a calming tone, “And none of us expect you or Aubree or Taylor or any of your kids to have it all together right now. Hell, with all those damn kids I don’t expect you to have it all together ever,” He playfully and affectionately squeezed the back of Miles’ neck. “Strong doesn’t mean tough and stoic all the time, right? You’re strong for getting your emotions out and not bottling ‘em up. You’re strong for naming what’s hurting your heart. You’re strong for showing your kids love even during this shitty, unimaginable time. You’ll be alright, man. So will Bennett.” 

Miles never had his dad. Not really, at least. He was absent most his life, and once he was gone.... you could forget about mom. It wasn’t that they didn’t like Miles or Savannah, but... things were just hard. It was hard being a military kid. Always on the move. So of course Miles and Sav got into some bad crowds. Of course there were babies and drugs and tattoos. But Miles really did want that male authority in his life, and he was glad that he found that in Aleks. Not quite a dad but not quite a brother. Somewhere between. An uncle, perhaps. And that was fitting since he was Nora’s brother. Miles cried and though Aleks’ hand was on the back of his neck, he opened his arms for a hug and Aleks received him. “Sorry, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “I did’t mean to be like this. This is... not who I am. But you’re right. No one need do it alone or whatever the fuck that poster Nora’s got in her office says. God, I know he’ll be okay. It’s not as bad as it could be, but god I feel so helpless.”

[fckkmiles]

sorenroth​:

Yeah, yeah, I bet. Just one day at a time, man, y’know like they’ll tell ya in AA. One day at a time. It’s corny, but true. And in a couple’a years he’ll be healthy and running around causing chaos and these times will just feel like a bad, weird nightmare. 

I know he will be and these days will be just a memory, but goddamn.... I head back to work next week full time, so at least I’ll be close in proximity. I finally get what these parents are going through bringing their kids to the hospital. I pray you never gotta go through it. 

[fckkmiles]

lucaporter​:

I couldn’t imagine having a baby in the NICU ever, man. It’s gotta be beyond terrifying. I’m here for you guys, alright? I mean it. We’re family.

Why don’t you let me watch your kids tomorrow for a little while and you can go be with him some more? I got ‘em. And by I…I mean me and Iris.

It’s hard shit, man. 

Thanks, man. Colbie is offering too, so maybe y’all can split up the crew amongst you. Aubree and I are barely ever there together, so it would be nice to go see him.

[fckkmiles]

milesscott: here’s some long awaited photos of our little guy - born december 21. thanks for being patient as aubree and i figure out what and how to share what our family is going through. much love. xx.

[fckkmiles]

aubreekipler​:

I don’t think it’s ever a fun place, babe…Nick, I’m done talking about Benny. You’ve gotten enough from us, and if you haven’t, I’m sure the editors will figure out a way to piece together other bits and pieces so you have. We wanna go spend time with our kids, please. 

“Yeah, I’d really like this mic pack to be taken off now. Please. Before it gets thrown through the fucking wall. Y’all are all pieces of shit if you think exploiting our kid who is fighting for his damn life in the hospital is going to make for good fucking television... goddamn.” Before anyone could say anything else to him, he pulled the mic pack off himself and walked out of the interview room, Aubree not too far behind him. As soon as he felt her touch on his back, he broke down for the first real time. “I’m sorry,” he cried and held her. “I’m sorry our baby is sick. I’m sorry I’m not good enough to keep my shit together for the both of us. I’m just so sorry.”