fckmen.com

hi i'm mariana and i probably like horoscopes way too much

[meanplastic]

[gabrielahansen-blog]

[igohardinovertime]

[queen-neyde]

[mitski-miyawakis]

“be careful with my emotional baggage,” i say. “it’s designer.”

[typecozey-deactivated20201222]

Do men have anything else to offer besides disappointment

[assgod]

Sometimes their asses are nice

[ethiopia-and-eritrea]

Dahlak Hotel, Massawa, Eritrea

[clefairyism-deactivated20230405]

me: going 100mph (100 mistakes per hour)

[foxmulders]

a relatable sibling feel

my sister: *gets in the shower* me, fully clothed and three rooms over: HEY I WAS LITERALLY A B O U T TO GET IN THERE YOU SHITFUCK I’M PRACTICALLY I N THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW AND YOU JUST???? OK

[memegod]

[tapeduct]

My only constant is the black hair tie around my wrist. No mans gonna be there for me like this hair tie has. No ones presence is gonna b as reassuring

[manrippedapartbydogs]

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*plugs phone into computer to charge* yes my child, drain the life from your superior,

[fckmen]

Dinner at jlaws house

Jlaw:"and that's when I said 'WHERES THE PIZZA!?!?'"

Dinner guests: *forced laughter as they eat their dinner consisting of only bread*

Bradley cooper to me: "can I offer you some bread"

Me: "oh um....I don't eat bread"

Dinner guests: *complete silence*

jlaw with mouth full of bread: "wait....what do you mean you don't eat bread™"

Me: "oh um well I can't-"

Jlaw: *makes wacky faces* "FUCK YOU!! you ASSHOLE!!!" *crying*

Me: "uh well...sorry it's just that I-"

Jlaw crawling across the table towards me: "YOU WILL EAT THIS BREAD"

Me: "please no"

Bradley cooper: "please Jen it's fine...."

Jlaw: *ugly crying* "SHUT UP!!! S H U T U P"

Jlaw: *takes a fist full of bread and shoves it in my mouth*

Me: *muffled crying* "please I have celiac disease I can't eat gluten"

Jlaw:"DONT GIVE IN TO SOCIETIES LIES!! EAT THIS BREAD"

Dinner guests: *still watching in silent horror*

Amy schumer:*thin lipped Amy schumer smile*

Oscar committee: "holy f uck Jen...."

[afrobeach]

[wlst]

sazonado

[disgustinghuman]

IG: @_chloe_spitz

[communistbakery-deactivated2017]

growing up with three parents was really weird

[ilovecocina-deactivated20160622]

what?? u had three parents??

[communistbakery-deactivated2017]

yeah my mom’s a gemini