ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟᴏsᴛ

Maybe I'll find better ways to hide the truth that I'm becoming undone. Maybe you'll find better ways to see the good in me.

[fcksimons-blog]

iMessage ✉️ Simon

Jessa: like I would ever let you go without coffee. That's a hate crime.

Jessa: don't worry, I'm going to tell EVERYONE that you actually love me

Simon: a hate crime that not even you can agree with, and you hate on everything haha

Simon: please don't, my street cred is already down the shitter since i talk to you continuously

[fcksimons-blog]

trista-y:

tris was not one to go out looking for hook-ups. in fact she never planned for them, they usually just happened in the heat of the moment and that was it. part of her wondered if anything would happen again between her and simon, and another even hoped for it. it had been a fun night to say the least. she glanced down almost protectively at her journal, sliding it down to the ground next to her when he pointed at it. “nope, you know i ain’t no musician.” she rolled her eyes. “might be the next cameron crowe though, you never know.” she teased, pulling her knees up to her chest. huh, she was oddly comfortable with simon in that moment, but she tested it to them having somewhat of a history. 

Simon nodded, laughing as he took out a cigarette from his pack. That was the one habit he had formed since he was thirteen, smoking too much and not being able to stop. His father never cared, never showed interest so he simply continued to do it because the kids thought he was cool. Until they stopped thinking he was cool and he was stuck being addicted. “Want one? Can’t remember if you smoke,” he spoke, leaning against the amp that was blocking them from the rest of the world. “I remember your name even after a year or so, you’re already half way there. Much more attractive than Cameron could ever be, I’m happy to say,” he said, lighting his cigarette. “You got yourself any cute arm candy for the tour? Or can I be your mini escort?”

[fcksimons-blog]

∟°✰ imessages: simon

EMMY: im desperate pls come with me

EMMY: refrain from throwing sand bc im gna tell on you or something buT please !!! i want to explore, i'm bored of being cooped up

SIMON: i don't know dude, i haven't even been to the beach in years

SIMON: the tour hasn't even started and you're feeling cooped up? whatever will you do when we end up staying on the buses for days travelling?

[fcksimons-blog]

aubreeze:

“i mean, not necessarily- soren can carry my bags. actually, i feel kinda bad when anyone carries my bags. i have two arms for a reason.” the whole concept of people doing stuff for her, especially simple things like carrying her bags made her feel awkward. and ever since she’d gotten back from rehab, it seemed like everyone was worried- almost as if they thought she’d slip up again. the thought of being monitored so closely by anyone made her anxious and uncomfortable. “aw, i love coffee dates with you.” as if one cue, she grabbed his hand and pulled herself back into a sitting position, looking down at his phone. “i forgot, sue me. i have terrible memory. we can listen while we get caffeine, let’s go.”

“Well, when you have eight-hundred bags like Ariana Grande or whatever, you definitely won’t be feeling bad about getting help. I like taking your things,” he said, mostly distracted as he played with his phone to find the songs he was looking for. Simon never thought of her as anything other than Aubrey, she had her issues and he had his, there was no reason in pretending they didn’t exist but he wasn’t one to dwell to hard on them. His honest was in his words, practically crossing his heart because he did enjoy doing things for her even if she never went to rehab. “I love X-Ray Spex,” he mumbled even though he allowed her to grab his hand, even bringing it up to his mouth to give it a simple kiss without even thinking about it. Simon hardly registered how physical his affections were, since it was only allowed around mainly Aubrey, no one else meant as much to him as she did. “Shh, we can’t go yet, I’m finding the best song,” he said, pulling up the song Plastic Bag.

[fcksimons-blog]

iMessage ✉️ Simon

Jessa: no, I swatted it away with my shoe in a really graceful way. but I appreciate the whole knight in shining armor thing.

Jessa: you really know how to sweet talk a girl, Taylor.

Simon: it's only because i owe you for paying for coffee last time. i wouldn't do it normally

Simon: don't tell anyone i'm nice, it'll ruin my street cred and then i am nothing

[fcksimons-blog]

aubreeze:

“i’m well aware of that, thank you. also four suitcases for a tour is not nearly as bad as you make it out to seem! ariana grande probably has like 800 — cut me some slack.” flopping onto the bed, she let out a dramatic sigh, bringing her hand up to her forehead. “i’m exhausted, i’ve used all my body strength to shut that suitcase- however will i go on with my day?” laying back on the mattress, dark hair sprawled across the white sheets, she glanced up at simon curiously. “i’ve never heard of her,” she paused, clicking her tongue and pointing at the male. “this is the part where you tell me who she is.”

“Well, I guess there is a silver lining, though I’m sure I’ll be forced to carry half of them around for you, isn’t that right?” He asked, going down to sit on the edge of the bed with her. It wasn’t as if he didn’t sign up for it, he was the one who protected her and even cared for her. Cared for her when it seemed like no one else cared. Simon wasn’t going to be the dick to leave her alone like other’s seemed to do so often. “You’ll just have to nap I suppose, or we can go get a coffee, my treat,” he said with a small smile, trying to coax her up as he poked her foot. At her comment of not knowing who she was (it was a band for fuck sake), he scoffed. “I’ve shown you that band before, you suck at listening,” he mumbled as he took out his phone to search them up on YouTube.

[fcksimons-blog]

trista-y:

“i gotchu.” tris smiled, shaking her head. man, she knew people made sex jokes and were crude, but simon was almost always on a different level than her. but then again she knew she was a little more awkward and private about that sort of thing. “omigod, simon.” she paused, her jaw slack as he called it her no-no square. “let’s just….not talk about it.” she said quickly, shaking her head and taking her attention away from him for a moment. her fingers tapped softly against the hard cover of the journal. “i mean, you can’t beat dressing room sex.” she mumbled, trying to hide her smile as he mentioned her being the best lay. not that she actually cared about that kind of thing, but it definitely was a stroke to her ego. “anyway, i’m glad to have at least one person on this tour that knows what the hell they’re doing and can appreciate good music.” 

Simon was smart enough in that moment to know when to let something go. There was no need to scare Tris away so soon, not when he had just gotten her back into his life. The anticipation of having her for an entire tour was enough to make him feel giddy, the happiness of being around the woman was intoxicating. He couldn’t tell if he was simply yearning to know more about her or if he was wishing to get into her pants, which a small part of him hoped that this was a long term idea. That perhaps he could become closer to her than before. “I know what you mean,” he said with a wink as he pointed at the journal in her lap. “Got anything interestin’ in there, blondie? Next hit single in the making?”

[fcksimons-blog]

aubreeze:

at his command, she rolled her eyes and lifted her legs up off the couch, letting him plop down beside her before she draped her legs across his lap. “can i ask why you’ve invested in dildos? i never you took you as a sex toy kinda guy,” she mused, arched an eyebrow curiously. at the mention of them being up his ass, she nudged his thigh with the heel of her foot, scrunching her nose up once again. “okay, first of all, i know we’re like super comfortable with each other but i really don’t need to know what objects you’re shoving up your ass. and secondly, put that shit in some sanitizer or some shit- hygenic dildos are good dildos. take it from me.”

“You never know your lonely days where you find yourself without a man or woman to touch you,” he said with a laugh, an obvious point that he was joking. There wasn’t many places he could utilize a dildo anyways, he was living out of a backpack that held a few changes of clothing most of the time. It was amazing that he actually bothered to buy a suitcase and fill it with clothing. Simon wasn’t poor, he just never felt the need to have more than a couple of shirts and pants. “I don’t need to know what kind of dildos you want to shove up your vagina myself, Aubrey,” he explained, giving her a pointed look that symbolized he believed he had won. “Dildos are good dildos when they are yours and not a communal dildo.”

[fcksimons-blog]

trista-y:

“i still think you should go with the 12 inch dildo. makes the most sense. who doesn’t like adventure or a good challenge?” she smiled mischievously at him, wondering what in the world had gotten into him. but then again they were both pretty drunk last time. so she didn’t actually truly know simon. “ah, i understand that much.” she mumbled, her eyes widening as he mentioned her vagina. looking over at him, she playfully slapped his arm, a warm blush creeping up her cheeks. “it’s been good. but damn, do you really gotta say it like that?”

“I’ll bring the dildo if you bring the lube,” he said teasingly, trying to recover his own bearings. It was odd, knowing that someone had this effect on him. Simon usually was composed, able to think and able to be alright with the shock value it seemed most of his conversations held. He assumed that Tris was different, but who wouldn’t agree to that. Backing away from the slap, he laughed before moving closer to her with a grin on his face. “I mean, would you like me to call it something else? Your no-no square, maybe?” It wasn’t becoming much easier to talk to her, especially since his mind was running over all the dumb shit he was saying. There certainly wasn’t a better time to be drunk than right now, so that he could blame his actions on alcohol. But he knew he was too sober, which left no godforsaken excuse as to why he was saying the things he was. “Still the best lay I’ve ever had,” he complimented, trying to save the situation, or himself. 

[fcksimons-blog]

trista-y:

as he spoke again, tris couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at his comment. that definitely wasn’t where she thought the conversation was going, but then again she didn’t peg simon for being the most normal guy. but she had to admit, as she looked him over, he was looking rather fit these days. “that would be such a tragedy.” she replied slowly. already she could tell it was going to be a very interesting tour. last time she saw simon they had hooked up in an empty dressing room, not that it bothered her, but she wasn’t used to seeing her one night stands again, let alone pretty much having to live with him. “you look good simon, how are things in little ole alabama?”

Simon couldn’t help the way his lips curled up into a smile, but he wouldn’t be the one to admit how self conscious he felt in those moments. They fucked in a dressing room once, some tour that he hardly remembered when he was a fuck-everything roadie with no ambition. The only thing that changed was the fact that he was now a bodyguard. “Yeah, but the real tragedy is the fact that I said those things out loud,” he said, feeling like he was fumbling with his words. What was the point in speaking when it just made him feel like a complete tool? Why did it only seem to happen right now when he was looking into the blue, blue eyes of her’s? Instead of answering that to himself, he sat down on the ground next to her. “I haven’t been the Alabama since the last time we talked all those years ago,” he said as he let his own eyes curiously look at the journal still in her hands. Anything to break the eye contact from those piercing eyes. “You look good, too, almost as sexy as I remember you, hope you have been treating your vagina well.”

[fcksimons-blog]

valerics:

“twelve inches?” she asks, eyes widening as she does so, horrified at the very thought, and perhaps taking the question way more seriously than it was meant to have been. “are you fuckin’ suicidal? no, absolutely not. eight is enough, does the job just fine.” pausing, she gives him a suspicious look. “that’s a joke, right? because if not, you’re a champ. mad props.”

Simon had to control his features to simply not burst out laughing at the way she seemed so horrified by the idea of a twelve inch dildo. “I bet bad dragon dildos are the scariest shit you’ve ever seen, huh?” He asked, training his face to not smile. Because the way Val was reacting was almost too much. “I don’t joke about the serious subject matter of dildos. Who goes around joking about dildos?” He asked, trying with all his might to simply not start giggling like a deranged buffoon. Which he was one, but she didn’t have to know that.

[fcksimons-blog]

mxdhuri:

madhuri has been running around like a mad woman all day, but truth be told, she’s absolutely thriving off of it. she loves being busy, and seeing her plans start to fall into action, no matter how big or small, is so thrilling to her. anyone who sees her today can find her with a smile on her face, running around practically stress free, to their surprise probably. she’s currently poking her head in and out of each bus for status updates before she gives the all clear for them to leave, and she almost flies right by simon until he grabs her attention. she stops, looking at him with a smile with eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “definitely the twelve,” she replies with a grin, her expression relaxing. “it’s gonna be a long run. treat yourself, you know?”

Simon laughed as he nodded. “You’re right, dear,” he said, taking on the term of endearment for the mother of the crew. She honestly worked too much, too hard and he was sure that one day she’d burn herself out. The day never came, though, and he took pride in making her able to smile. “You know, Mads, if you weren’t married to the job, I’d have asked you to marry me a long time ago,” he said playfully, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as he started to walk in the direction she was headed with her. It wasn’t as if he had anything else better to do for the time being anyhow. “Then we could both play with my twelve inch dildo and have a great time. Four inches is a make or break deal, you know.”

[fcksimons-blog]

aubreeze:

dark waves piled into a bun atop of her head, aubrey fanned herself desperately as the sweat dripped down her neck uncomfortably. sure, touring during the summer sounded fun but now that they were in one of the most humid, hottest cities on said tour, she literally wanted to keel over and die. climbing onto the tour bus, the small brunette draped herself dramatically onto one of the couches, letting out a long-winded sigh as the ac finally kicked in. kicking her heels off, aubrey let her eyes close and she swore she was about to drift off when a familiar ( but not unwelcome ) voice snapped her out of it. opening one eye pointedly, she looked up at simon, nose scrunching up in disgust at his question. “are you… being serious?” she questioned before a loud laugh fell past her lips. “if that’s the case, can i borrow one?”

Simon didn’t know if Aubrey was even awake when he managed to get on the bus, since she seemed content to just drift off to sleep. He felt bad for a moment for waking her up, since it wasn’t like she was going to sleep very well with all the touring and late nights that were going to come upon the both of them. “Move over,” he said, wanting to sit where her legs were. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t lay them down on his lap, they had been in closer proximity plenty of times before. “Am I?” He asked, waggling his eyebrows at her as a playful smirk came over his face. Taken aback by her question, he stared at her in horror. “They’ve all been up my ass, I don’t think you want that. No one wants that.”

[fcksimons-blog]

iMessage ✉️ open

Jessa: a giant ass bug landed on my bag as soon as I walked outside.

Jessa: I've dealt with those subway rats in nyc but nobody told me I'd be getting friendly with a bug with legs the size of my ring finger

Jessa: if I end up in your room tonight, I can't be blamed.

Simon: is it still on your bag? i can come kill it for you if you want

Simon: i don't have anything else better to do, if you wanna come to my room be my guest

[fcksimons-blog]

∟°✰ imessages: open

EMMY: jfc i always forget how fucking humid miami is

EMMY: im walking around looking like a damn troll doll my hair's frizzy as hell

EMMY: come to the beach with meeeeee who needs preparation for tour !! not me !! or you !! we need the beach

SIMON: i think you have the wrong person, this is simon, you don't want me to go to the beach with you

SIMON: i'll end up throwing sand at you and it won't be a nice experience. i have a compulsion to do that.

[fcksimons-blog]

trista-y:

tris wasn’t going to enter that bus until she absolutely had to. she was not going to take advantage of these last moments of privacy and ground and fresh air. not that you didn’t get it, obviously you did each stop, but this was the least hectic moment she was going to have for the next few months. she had decided to take a few minutes to write, gearing up for tour. maybe she’d start a blog, or make a deal with a magazine for the inside goods of this tour. but until then she leaned against the wheel of a bus, writing lazily in the new journal she had bought for this tour. 

looking up as a familiar voice came around, she squinted in the sun, seeing simon approach her. she had met him previously, he worked a few venues she had done concerts with, and she liked him well enough. “twelve inch, gotta give people something to work with you know?” she teased, closing her journal as he came closer. 

Watching Tris close her journal, he rose an eyebrow. That was certainly a new thing, the times they came across each other there usually wasn’t anything she was writing in. It wasn’t like they were ever that close, but as he stared at her, there was a tug of something that was familiar and just simply her resounding through his mind. He almost forgot the stupid joke he managed to utter, laughing awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. Was he really this much of an idiot? He didn’t want to answer that himself. “Yeah, I want to be loose enough that my poor diet doesn’t effect my bowl movements,” he replied and instantly thought of himself as the biggest idiot of the world. Simon wished more than anything that the ground would swallow him, but he wasn’t going to let that show on his face as he outwardly projected a grin. 

[bachelcrs-deactivated20171105]

     IT’S QUITE SURREAL for rhys to be walking around the stadium that he’s going to be playing in later that evening. sure, he’d played a few gigs here and there but never to a crowd like this. and sure, he’s just the opening act and there’s a great chance that people will purposefully show up late to the concert just to skip him but nonetheless, it’s a crowd and it’s a guaranteed rush that rhys can’t wait for. he’s walking slowly through an aisle of the 200 section; his eyes meander to the stage that’s slowly getting set up down below. he stops and takes a seat, then looks up as he hears footsteps behind him. “oh, hey,” he grins as he leans his forearms on his knees and leans forward. “last time i came to a stadium this big was when i saw bruce springsteen last summer. kinda crazy to think people are coming for me—” he pauses and scrunches his face. “maybe not me, i guess, but i’m the package deal.”

[fcksimons-blog]

Simon was making his rounds, making sure that everything was actually secure for the band. Usually no one had the balls to sneak into the location before doors opened, but there was always a leering suspicion of people that he couldn’t erase from his head no matter how hard he tried. It was a sight to behold, the sheer magnitude of the stadium that was sold out and as he walked by the empty seats he was almost rendered speechless by the idea that there would be bodies packed everywhere. At the voice, he looked up, not even realizing he hadn’t truly been searching the rows for violators. “Hey Rhys,” Simon answered, voice slightly gruff as he tried to keep his own outward appearance up. “Bruce Springsteen? Nice.” At the male’s apprehension at saying people weren’t necessarily coming for him, he shrugged. “You know, I have avoided concerts before because I didn’t like the opening acts. Think of it this way, they’re hear to give you a shot. Make it count.”