I'M NOT A MONSTER.

huang zitao. lucifer. 19.

[ex-gmxrogue-deactivated20150106]

▪▪▪ lost boys.

[ex-gmxrogue-deactivated20150106]

"Don’t touch me — ," his voice is sharp, and meaner than he’d meant it to be. Afterall, this was supposed to be a place of peace; a place of calm. Taemin himself was ruining the kind atmosphere he’d found to wallow in. He scoots away a little before sitting up and patting underneath his ass for the shirt. It’s dirty and covered with mud spots now — he doesn’t care; it slides back over his torso after a few moments of shuffling. A boy so afraid of skin contact shouldn’t be wandering around half naked anyway, he wonders what he’d been thinking when he had taken it of — right, of course. He hadn’t been thinking, only acting and letting his body determine the courses he took. Words spoken moments before finally sink in, and he turns his tired eyes to the stranger. “Are you a suicide enabler?” The question, rhetoric in nature, is chased by a quick snort. “I don’t think I really want to die, maybe that’s why. I’m sorry for… snapping, at you.”

[fcxlucifer-blog]

zitao steps back, eyes widening sharply at the demand. it doesn't hurt him to oblige to, so as always he listens, giving space to the young man in front of him.

well aware of the fact that his words have not the slightest comforting edge towards them--they merely came out of flurry of distress mixed with confusion, he shrugs, face apologetic at the accusation.

maybe he was an enabler. it wasn't as if the capability to kill didn't sit in the demonic blood that pumped in his veins. the thought makes him feel even more sorry, so he mumbles a, "it's okay. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said anything."

"i just wanted to see if you were okay."

[fcxsoojung]

{ ` why is he laughing? naturally, the girl frowns, downright pouts with the way her lower lip juts out (quivering slightly even) as she watches the other struggle to keep it in—making a small whining noise at that—as her nose wrinkles } because—i don’t know!—don’t laugh at me. { ` ヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ } it’s not magic—i wish it was magic though { ` she mutters under her breath } i was just feeling disney-like okay! { ` stomps her foot slightly, as if to justify her own actions as she shakes her head and turns to the refrigerator — refusing to accept his compliment given the fact that he laughed at her (petty petty petty) }

[fcxlucifer-blog]

( _props his head on his hands, watching the girl quietly, honestly drinking the sight in; it has yet to wear off on him, the novelty of people welcoming his presence, accepting him being there.  even if soojung didn't seem to be in the most welcoming of moods anymore ) why?  why can't i laugh? ( _brows quirk and he decides not to ask what disney is, not wanting to add to her obvious upset )  okay. ( _clears his throat, shifting in his seat before adding ) i really didn't mean to laugh soojung, but i couldn't help it.  it's like... seeing a shooting star?  yeah, that, and gasping at the sight--i couldn't help it. ( _ the corners of his lips shift downwards, gaze apologetically yet unabashedly sitting on the girl's face )

[fcxsoojung]

{ txt } ofc i can!!! who do you think i am ヾ(დ☣‿☣)ﾉ

{ ` sets the phone down a moment later, if anything, taking time out to card her fingers through red locks and “primp” herself for the visit of another’s presence, turning her attention back to the microwave when it beeps, opening the door as she reaches out to touch the plate, hissing at the momentary sear that greets her as she pulls her hands back, decidedly lifting it with her power this time around instead, watching it move out of her peripheral vision as she waves an absent hand toward the cabinets—using her mutation with offhanded ease given the fact that she was alone (and it made her feel like a fairy from sleeping beauty—not merryweather though)—counting one and two sets of plates and eating utensils floating from it as she hums once upon a dream under her breath } oh—hey! { ` turns to greet him with a bright grin, moving to mock curtsy once she registers his greeting } at your service, m’prince. { ` her voice takes up a slight higher pitch than normal — something a bit more sugary and disney sounding }

[fcxlucifer-blog]

( _brows raise, grin falling into one more lopsided at the girl's antics.  he feels he shouldn't laugh, but he's so amused; a curled fist taps his lower lip and he coughs, a poor attempt at hiding a chortle.  attempts a lower voice, something more suave, though his following words are anything but-- ) why are we doing this? ( _moves to sit at the island, eyes shifting to stare at the floating kitchenware )  is it to introduce your... ( _brows wrinkle--what was the word? ) ... uh... magic? ( _ fingers strum against the island ) it's cool. 

[fcxsoojung]

{ txt } \(//∇//)\ aW TAOTAO { txt } come down to the kitchen righttttt noow! i’ll make you a plate! { ` but first, she honestly has to fix her hair } { txt } oh, don’t accidentally download illegal stuff o:

[fcxlucifer-blog]

( txt_Jung Soojung ) Okay.  ( txt_Jung Soojung ) You can do that? 

( _ frowns, scratching at the back of his head as he heaves himself off his mattress.  the idea of being able to download something illegal was nothing short of terrifying--what if they dragged him back?  a hand goes to the pendant around his neck and burns--he hisses, shoving his phone into  pocket and flapping the abused palm with hopes of the pain disappearing.  by the time he reaches the kitchen, he's still blowing on it--with minute, timed puffs.  his lips crack into a grin at the sight of soojung )  so, chef jung... ?  

( _ he hopes he's doing this teasing thing right )

[ex-gmxrogue-deactivated20150106]

▪▪▪ lost boys.

[ex-gmxrogue-deactivated20150106]

Something is close to him, someone is close to him. He stirs, unable to sleep very long with such an event taking place. Weary eyes blink open, staring directly at the figure hovered over him. Natural, he shifts his arm, covering his nipples. “I’m trying to die,” he announces — and even he isn’t sure why he said it. It doesn’t matter, this being silhouetted by the stars appears to be a part of the living, like himself. He turns on his side, giving the boy a clear view of his back instead and pushing his face into the grass with one eye open, a stick isn’t too far away; his nostrils are overwhelmed by the scent of grass and dirt. Maybe, if he stayed that way long enough, he’d simply seep into the ground and become one with the other spirits that lingered here.

[fcxlucifer-blog]

his breath catches in his throat as he male finally begins to shift, and it's only as he begins to breathe again that he notices he had stopped--foolishly, with the gullible fear of a child, he had thought that perhaps he had found a body above the ground, twelve inches too high.

a dark brow wrinkles at the male's declaration, leaving zitao with thoughts of reverse burials once more, before he takes in a breath and sighs, words tumbling on the coattails of his exhalation.  "but why?"

the man's frown deepens as the stranger rolls into the dirt, starting to roll him over before stopping.  seized by a thought, he blurts, "why try drowning in the ground, if there's a creek over there?"  pauses, before continuing. "or... well... at all?"

[ex-gmxrogue-deactivated20150106]

▪▪▪ lost boys.

A neutral party is never truly neutral. What he knew was right was at war with what he wanted out of life — and even then, what he wants is so vague. He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

[fcxlucifer-blog]

night upon night had been spent in total utter darkness, and though light would occasionally slap him across the face, savage, red eyes would squint; his warped, twisted form would retreat.  it was only now, in his human form, that zitao was able to appreciate the the difference between the two--the difference between night and day.  it was now that he could let light wash upon him and embrace him in its warmth; it was now that he could enjoy the darkness of midnight--never true, forever pierced by moonlight and the faint glow of the stars--in their entirety.

sometimes these truths strike him, seizing his breath for the smallest moment.  the taste of freedom on his tongue--that tonight, was tinted by teh scents of dew and freshly mowed grass--could almost be called the elixir of miracles.  it was far too sweet to be tossed for mere sleep, he decides, and so he ventures into the memorial garden, eager, tentative steps sweeping him quickly to the area.

the idea of getting lost amongst the gravestones doesn't bother him much--there isn't much the dead can do, he figures, and he still very, very much alive.  open spaces are hard to lose oneself in anyhow, and the gurgling of the creek reassures him; he can use it as a checkpoint--a moment is spared for the memorisation of the spot, a second spent in contemplation.  was skipping stones hard?  it had always looked fun.  he gives up before attempting, walking down the bridge to press onwards--there were more sights to see on his expedition of the grounds.

one sight in particular draws him to a pause; the sight of a male, shirtless and... unconscious?  zitao squints, wondering if that was normal--probably not--and if he should do something--probably.

"e-excuse me?"  his approach is almost shy, most definitely hesitant.  it's only when he stands right over the male that he dares to repeat himself.  "excuse me? are you alright?"

[fcxlucifer-blog]

coming through! {* hunger gets the best of him at precisely 2:30 in the afternoon. he doesn't care if he's not a student, or what the daily special is, as long as it fills up the gaping hole that is his stomach so that he can cope a little longer. why hasn't he left yet? damned if he knows—a mysterious inner voice that doesn't sound like him chances a guess that he likes it and taeyong shivers— } oh, /shut up/. {* he weaves through half empty tables toward the back and slams his tray down. } hi.

( _it’s not that zitao doesn’t appreciate the food that the school has to offer, for there’s a significant amount of care that’s put into the meals that he finds touching.  rather, his system yearns for something more raw, with life still seeping from its form. the thought should’ve made him sick, but it only drew saliva.  he stirs the food on his tray with metal chopsticks, wondering the easiest way to go about his food.  jolts at noise, turning to the source with a surprised look ) hi? hi. ( _ feeling obligated to say something.  continues— )  sup. ( _ah, yes—much observance had allowed tao to sneak slang into his growing vocabulary.  he does well to disguise his pride ) 

[fcxsoojung]

{ ` he’s cute — but what’s with the formality? soojung could only tilt her head, eyes flicking up to the numbers counting down on the microwave before turning back to type her reply }

{ txt } you think i’m cute and bright taotao? (｡◕ฺˇε ˇ◕ฺ｡） making me blush hurhruhrurhu!! { txt } yes pasta — spaghettietitei, you want some? { txt } uh, yes, it is—what applications do you got??

[fcxlucifer-blog]

( txt_Jung Soojung ) Yes. ( txt_Jung Soojung )  It sounds interesting--sure. ( txt_Jung Soojung )  I don't really know yet, that's why I'm looking.

[fcxlucifer-blog]

.city dreams

the city is large and sprawling and though zitao has thrown himself into its swarm more than once, he finds it both hard to believe and traverse. his errand is a simple one--he wants to see a phone booth, romantic, red and tall. the countless amount of films and dramas he had spent his time in captivity watching carried many a scene featured around the structures, and so finding one and taking a... uh... what was the term for it again? selpho (self + photo)? selsho (self + shot)? selca, yes, selca near one was a necessity.

even if he didn't have anyone back home to show it to. home.

zitao rolls his shoulders, growing uneasy the further he walks into the city. so far, all the male has seen is payphones--they were not the same thing, just shams, shams!--and it begins to grate on his optimism. maybe finding one alone wasn't as easy as he had originally thought. it takes him only moments to convince himself to approach a stranger, petite and raven haired. timidly, he taps on her shoulder, backing up immediately and dropping his hands to prove he was no threat whatsoever.

coughs.

"c-can... can i ask you something?"

[fcxlucifer-blog]

{` one of the best things about feeling much more mobile was the fact that he could return to truly testing out his powers. Which is why despite already been told off by one staff member he was traversing through the school like a monkey on vines, ropes of electricity clinging to the ceiling} Watch out, coming through! Make way!

( _ zitao watches the spectacle with awed eyes, unable to believe that what was in front of him was real, stumbling backwards as he realises he might be too close. )

[fcxlucifer-blog]

Her whisper is the lucifer!

( _ turns around, eyes widening before squinting ) her?  i… ( _ no.  it didn’t refer to him at all, he had made sure to get his pronouns straight before transferring to the school… )

[fcxlucifer-blog]

like for a random script starter.  reply for a para starter.