why o why o why o why....
So why do I want to go travelling?
Well, "why not?" is usually my first reply when people ask me.
I was in my last year of junior school so I was probably about ten years old. It was Spring or early summer and a gorgeous day outside. My favourite type of weather and I reckon it was probably maths. There was a blackboard. Not one of those new-fangled smart board youtube esque thingies. No. I was sitting on one of those wooden chairs. I was wearing a blue check summer dress of thin cotton and the wooden slats used to dig in the back of my legs. The desk was also wooden and the lid would lift up. Anyway, I was bored. I recall the realisation that there are trains and boats and cars and most importantly aeroplanes out there that can take you to places. I realised that when I was an adult I could go whereever I wanted and wouldn't have to stay somewhere I didn't want to. It had hit me that I could travel. The same year during a summer holiday I sat on my bed with a notebook and wrote a list of places that I wanted to go to.
I've wanted to do this for a long time. I've been putting it off because of boyfriends, jobs and being far too responsible and sensible for my own good. I've had that list of places for nearly twenty years. I've never written a list of jobs I wanted, or cars, or houses or even clothes.
Once I'd sold my car and booked my round the world flight I knew I would feel excited and a bit scared. I didn't expect to feel relief more than anything else. I rang my Mum and told her that I'd booked it. She told me how she remembered me talking about going to Australia when I was 18 and never doing it because of my boyfriend at the time and University.
To be honest I'm glad I got all my studying and sensible-ness out of the way while I was younger. I'm a bit wiser now and know a lot more about what I want.
I could stay in Cheltenham and continue with my nice comfortable job, in my lovely little house, try to find some bloke and settle down. Notice the emphasis there. I'm pressing pause on "normal" life, the ladder, the box-ticking-exercise. There are more people out there that are like me and I want to find them.
I don't have to justify why I'm going to anyone....but I guess if anyone is reading this and is thinking about doing the same thing as me, I haven't even gone yet, but do it, do it, do it. I wake up everyday and think about calling my manger and saying I'm sick, but then I remind myself that I don't have long left now (about sixteen weeks) and most importantly, I have bought myself the best Christmas present, or all-round present that I could possibly think of....
Bit of a rambly post this....but I just want to write this:
One thing I am scared of, and I am going to get this off my chest now, is being the only person in her late (late late!) twenties and I'm stuck with a lot of 18 year olds....Why am I even bothered by this? I'm not too sure. I guess I don't want to feel old?! We are obsessed with age in the UK / US aren't we?! That's another blog post entirely. I'm sure there are more important things to be worried about, but this is pretty much the only thing that has "bothered" me so far.
I'm not running away from anything, I'm going on a search. I'm pressing pause of normal life, not life itself, not proper life.
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