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Peter Solarz

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I have a best friend got together with my abuser I have told her my stories but she said I was lying. I remember when he said he wanted to rape me. I remember when he laughed at my tears. But "boys will be boys" she says thank you for letting me vent here.
I am so sad to hear this. The only thing I can tell you is to speak to someone about this. Not her but someone else. You warned her. You told her and sadly she choose to not believe. She choose him over you. There are so many things you can do. But these things are up to you as I don't know how much you can handle. Whatever you choose to do... be there for her. -S
8 Real Girls On The Fashion Advice They Would Give Their Younger Selves
yas queen.
Watch:Â Pregnant Australian TV anchor puts a fork in nasty body shamersÂ
Watch: Serena Williams isnât here for your body shaming â and itâs downright inspiring.
What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.
You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you wonât and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he canât even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But sheâs never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because sheâll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now thereâs something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but youâre gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesnât leave the house anymore, she canât even get out of bed and sheâs getting thinner and thinner because itâs too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesnât sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and thatâs when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly sheâs screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because theyâre all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her itâs gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, youâre not there to do it, everything is dark now that youâre gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they donât talk to each other anymore, they donât talk to anyone, theyâre all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he canât breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he canât fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, heâs never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldnât save you and heâs never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because youâre gone, and they miss you, and they donât know why you left but it mustâve been their fault and they shouldâve stopped you and they shouldâve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself
but you killed everyone else around you too.Â
this need to be on everyoneâs blog
you know, i tried to jump out of a window on the 2nd floor last week. and this just made me cry so hard. i think about all of this every time. even if youâre hurting, itâs selfish. itâs the most selfish thing you can ever do.
How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal
I realized most people donât really know how to talk to someone who is suicidal. Itâs not something youâre taught in school and very few people have experience with it, so I wanted to make a post that could possibly help!
What to Do/Say:
Take it seriously, any and all suicidal speech or action needs to be taken seriously. Always assume the worst to be safe
be kind, patient, calm, and gentle.
Listen. Really listen. Pay close attention to their needs and what is causing them pain.
âYou can do thisâ âYou will get through thisâ âYou can make it outâ âI believe in you 100%â âYou are so strongâ
âI know Iâm not in your situation and I canât pretend to fully understand, but I want to help you.â
even if it makes no sense to you, understand that it makes sense to them, and they deserve to be taken seriously
remind them of alternatives to self harm
âcan I get you anything? Water? Tea? A blanket?â
âWeâll get through this togetherâ
âYou are not alone in this. Iâm here for you and Iâm willing to do anything I can to help.â and when you say that, really be there. Donât say that if you donât mean it. Stay with them and check in on them frequently even after theyâve calmed down. Over the next few weeks while theyâre recovering, keep checking in, it shows that you care. Many people who are suicidal have trust issues and feel abandoned and alone and like people donât care. Show them that that isnât true.
âThis is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it isnât worth itâ
let them let out their feelings however they need to as long as it isnât hurting them. Let them scream, rant, cry, blame others, etc.
think before you speak. Be really careful what you say
âI know right now it feels like everything is too much and you canât keep going, but that will change, it will get better and your feelings will change. You wonât feel this way forever. This pain is very real but itâs temporary, I promise.â
give them resources and suicide hotlines. Encourage them to seek professional help if they havenât already
âThink about ____â and include happy things. Make sure you give examples!! Someone who is suicidal is feeling very, very negative, more than you can understand, and theyâre not going to be able to magically think of happy things because you tell them to. If you give them vivid imagery with things that are happy, that can really help. For example:Â âthink about being curled up in a warm blanket with fresh, clean sheets and hot chocolate, watching a movie with a dog in your lap. You canât experience happy moments like that if you end your life nowâ
âItâs going to be okay. It will get better, I promise, please keep goingâ
âI care so muchâ âI love youâ âYou mean the world to meâ âYouâre amazingâ âYou make me so happyâ
âBrighter days are ahead and you deserve to be alive to see them.â
If you know they really love a certain thing, bring that up! Something that makes me happy. For example, what helped me the most was when people brought up Justin Bieber and how inspiring he is and how I can get through pain like him, too, or when people reminded me Justin wouldnât want me to die this way. When people sent me gifs of him smiling and cute little descriptions of him, that was really helpful
What NOT to Do/Say:
assume itâs not real or theyâre doing this for attention
judge them
invalidate anything theyâre saying or feeling, even if it seems preposterous to you. Our ability to think rationally when weâre suicidal is very weak.
force them to justify their feelings
âother people have it worse than youâ
âyouâre hurting so many people if you do this, itâs not fair to themâ this is a big one. People say this ALL the time. The reality is, we know. We know weâre hurting other people and we already feel really guilty about it. Do not add guilt and shame to the negative feelings of a suicidal person. I hear this so often and it never helps, it just adds a new layer of self-hatred and only fuels the pain. Donât do anything that makes the person feel worse.
give up. Do not assume that there is nothing you can do. Do not act defeated or like you canât help them. Some people believe that if someone is suicidal, nothing is going to stop them, but that isnât the case
âlook on the bright sideâ
âI know how you feelâ âIâve dealt with this tooâ this is one of the worst things you can say. When you say this, I know youâre trying to comfort the person and let them know you understand, but that doesnât work. First of all, you donât know how they feel. Unless you have felt the overwhelming urge to die and actually attempted suicide, you donât understand. Plus, even if you have been that suicidal, their situation is very unique and different, everyoneâs is, so you havenât dealt with it. Saying this makes them feel like youâre invalidating their experiences, and it can often make them stop listening because it makes you sound like an idiot.
talk to them like theyâre a little kid. Donât treat them like theyâre stupid, and donât act confused or shocked by their thoughts. Respect that these are their feelings
anything that suggests that this is easy and they should just be able to look on the bright side and get over it. This isnât easy. It is not a quick fix for them to feel better
âGod put you here for a reasonâ unless you know for a fact that the person is religious, donât say that. I donât believe in God and when people try to lecture me on how God gave me life and I need to keep going for Him, I stop listening.
show them that this is too hard for you and youâre tired of helping them. Do NOT make them feel like a burden. However hard this is for you, I can guarantee it is 93298492 times harder for them.
expect them to act a certain way. Chances are, they wonât be predictable in their actions. Donât assume that theyâll respond how youâd think
make them feel like you expect them to be happy. Donât force them to feel better, if the conversation is really negative, thatâs okay. At least youâre having a conversation. Let them feel their pain. Do not get upset with them or angry that theyâre feeling this way, and donât make them feel guilty for feeling so bad.
blame yourself. Donât make this about you. Donât say things like âIâm such a bad friendâ âIâm sorry Iâm not helpingâ âI wish I was there for youâ âthis is all my faultâ because that puts them in a situation where they feel like they have to take care of you and let you know that isnât true. They should not be the ones comforting you, it needs to be the other way around
argue with them. They need comfort and support, not you trying to reason with them and rationalize everything and argue and tell them theyâre wrong
leave them alone. It is not safe for them to be alone, at all
this is coming from someone who has tried to kill themselves, was suicidal for years, and has helped multiple friends get through suicidal thoughts. I am by no means a complete expert, but these are things that generally apply to most suicidal people.Â
If you want to reblog this to spread the word so that other people can learn about this topic too, go for it! It sucks that we arenât taught more about mental health, but hopefully this helped.
I'm the same girl that was raped by the teacher at age 8 - So, this friend of mine is attempting to set me up with this friend of hers (one night stand-ish) but that time with the teacher was the closest thing I've ever gotten of sex and this idea freaks me out but I really can't afford to turn down guys because I really don't want to be alone forever and I really feel like I should give people a chance but I still freak out with the idea of letting people touch me and I don't know what to do...
aw:( im really sorry about that..my advice would be to make it clear you arent comfortable hooking up with someone at this point, you dont have to give details or anything. i am sure you are young, so you dont have to worry about being forever alone. i would just wait until you find someone you are extra comfortable with, that way you wont force yourself into doing anything you dont want to do.
The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the thought that I should give people a chance to say their last words to me, well, that they wouldn't regret. Maybe I'm just crazy.
youâre not crazy but please, please donât kill yourself. suicide is never the right answer, it doesnât matter how bad youâre feeling now, i promise you itâs going to get better... and it might not be right away but it will.Â
you may think that no one cares about you but they do, even if they donât show it. killing yourself might be the ârightâ thing for you, but if you do that, all youâre doing is shifting your pain onto so many other people because youâll be gone and theyâll spend the rest of their lives wondering what they couldâve done to save you. do not kill yourself, you deserve to be happy. talk to someone about how youâre feeling and i promise they can help you. youâre not alone and youâre strong enough to beat whatever it is thatâs making you feel suicidal.Â
- caitlin x
heya so i thought iâd make a little help masterpost. (if you prefer a page thereâs one here x)
ROUGH NIGHT?Â
listen to let it go from frozen in 25 different languages
lukeâs giggle will make u happy
5sos did a dumb thing that will make you smile
and another dumb thing
youâre cute, so look at this complimenting website
watch some good movies:â)
playlists for your moods
cute random acts of kindness
hugs??????
play some pointless dumb but entertaining games to cheer you up
disney movies!!
cute things to make you happy
noise machines to help you calm down
if school is making you sad: remember that your mental health comes before schoolwork, always, and your teacher will understand that.
DEPRESSION/SELF-HARM/SUICIDE:Â
self-harm alternatives
if youâve already self-harmed, take care of your cuts/burns/etc !!
country suicide hotlines
suicide hotline masterpost
how to stop self-harming + fully understand it
butterfly project (self-injury prevention)
suicidal? talk to someone or help someone!
suicide prevention- like a hotline, but online!
not sure how to help someone who is suicidal?
reasons to live
tips to help stop cutting
how to fade/cover/hide your scars
how to explain scars (excuses)
just relapsed?
coping with your depression
natural depression treatments
antidepressants: which one should you ask for?
types of mental health issues
feel the need to see blood? (cut a white screen)
the thoughts room
ANXIETY & INSOMNIA:Â
understanding anxiety
different types of anxieties
having a panic attack?
dealing with social anxiety
explanations of many anxiety disorders
tips to beat insomnia
understanding & curing insomnia
when to try to sleep (based on when you need to wake up)
tips for falling asleep quickly
how to help someone having a panic attack
do not say these things to someone having a panic attack!!
tips for calming down your anxiety
EATING DISORDERS:Â
why you should try to recover
feeling bloated?
prevent your relapse!
why you should recover (why you need to eat)
love your body
bulimia recovery steps
stop putting yourself down
boost your confidence
self-love
ABUSE & SEXUAL ABUSE:Â
healthy vs unhealthy boundaries in a relationship
abuse hotlines
how to overcome emotional numbness
how to realize sexual abuse is not your fault
how to realize sexual abuse is not your fault (part 2)
how to realize physical abuse is not your fault
how to forget about sexual abuse
domestic violence and abuse
how to escape an abusive relationship safely
aftersilence program (victims of abuse and sexual abuse)
do you think someone you love is getting abused?
healing, forgiving and overcoming physical and sexual abuse
speaking out after sexual/physical abuse
if you can think of other links to add or need help, message me anytime xx
All of my friends tell me the best thing to do when trying to get over a bad breakup is to find someone new. I think that sounds like a good idea and something that would help me get over it but I know how it feels to be someone's rebound and I don't know if I want to do that to someone. What are you thoughts?
Maybe that's just me, and it's okay if you don't agree with me, but I think you really shouldn't be with someone - one night stands and random hook ups don't count - if you're not attracted to THEM, like, who they are and the little things about them. If you manage to find someone who knows you're with them only to get over someone else, that's okay, hold on to them, but most people would mind it, and you should be open about it before anything. There are tons of ways to get over someone, but honestly, I don't think finding someone else is one of them, especially if the time between both partners was short, because you didn't get much time to get over your ex or let go of old habits, and people can sense that. Finding someone new might work for a few days or weeks, but it's really not fair for the other person or even you, and maybe you should give yourself time to get over them on your own, without putting this process on hold to be with someone you don't fully appreciate, you know? - Toty
requested by utepils-and-cwtches
Hi, I've been having a lot of problems this month with my mental health. I'm really craving a distraction or a way to let go. I was wondering if you had any ideas of healthy ways to do this, I can't afford to self harm again
Hereâs a few weâve found! Please remember each of us are always here for you when you need and that you will get through your hard times.Â
- Kait (:
The Butterfly Project:
This is where you take a permanent marker, and you draw butterflies near your cuts or where you want to cut. You give each butterfly a name, maybe the name of your best friend, or a family member. If you cut, then they die. The point of this is to go until the butterfly fades without cutting. If you do, the butterfly lives its life.
Snap a rubber band around your wrist:
Find a rubber band, preferably a thick one. And put it around your wrist. When you feel the urge to cut, snap the rubber band until your urge goes away or lessens.
Draw wounds where you want to cut:
This is basically a mind trick. If your mind sees the red, resembling the blood and the wound the urge will most likely subside.
When you want to cut, go outside and distract yourself. Or find a hobby:
Going for a walk will most likely help you take your mind off of it, you get to see the scenery and think to yourself.
Blast music:
Listen to the lyrics, they may help you take your mind off of it.
Meditate:
Put on some light music or find a quiet place and try to clear your mind. Take deep breaths and try to control your heart beat. Try to observe everything that is going on around you in the moment. (You donât even have to sit in the stupid pretzel position!) Â If youâre going to cry, then let the tears flow. This is your personal time to relax and do whatever you want. A piece of advice, it is better to focus on something thatâs NOT stress or trigger related.
Fatal To The Flesh«TRIGGER WARNING»www.fataltotheflesh.com is a website where you can slash the screen (and it bleeds) to help curb those icky SI feelings.
(Ideas taken from here .
I had this friend, we were best friends but he started to be rude and he was hurting me every day. I stopped talking to him. But I miss him, he was so nice and funny but now... đ in the school I don't have any other friends, I had just him but I'm alone at school now. Can you help me? What should I do?
If he was being rude and hurting you, then youâre better off without him and although it will hurt to not have him around for a while, over time that will get better. As far as making new friends goes, Iâd reccomend chatting to some of the people you sit by in lessons or trying out some clubs to see if you can meet anyone with similar interests to you.
Liv x