Call me Kaze, I love drawing and writing and playing destiny/ destiny 2 on Xbox. I write fluff, angst, and even smut. If you don't like/cannot handle, please DO NOT read! Can be, NSFW. 18+
STEVE ROGERS x READER
WORD COUNT : 3222
WARNINGS : NONE, EVENTUAL SUPERFLUFF
SUMMARY : As a SHIELD agent, you spent a lot of time working with Steve Rogers and became best pals. When he decided he wanted find a place in Brooklyn, you offered to let him move into the spare bedroom of your apartment.
PART 2
I guess it’s about time I give this guy his own masterlist, because it looks like I’ll be writing a lot more of him in the future.
As usual most of these stories are smut and quite explicit, more details and warnings are in the posts.
I don’t write Bdsm/daddy kink and I also don’t take requests. (sorry!)
There aren’t that many fics on here for now but you can expect this list to grow quickly. Thank you all so much for following, liking, reblogging and leaving me sweet comments! You guys are the best :)
If you love my work Buy me a Ko-fi :)
*****************
One shots:
Be with me: (Stucky AU) After a night of too much drinking Bucky finally confesses his feelings to Steve. Fluff
Solace: (Steve Rogers x Reader) Set between Civil War and Infinity war, Steve is a fugitive and on the run when you find him, wounded and bleeding, in the woods. smut
Warm bodies: (Stucky AU) Bucky is a young lost vampire wandering the city when he meets an older lonely bearded Steve. Both men are inexplicably drawn to each other. smut
Eyes on me: (Chris x Reader) After you spent the night chatting with Sebastian at a party Chris gets jealous and shows you his possessive side. smut
Remedy: (Steve Rogers AU x Reader) After watching a scary movie on a stormy night you have trouble sleeping and your friend Steve comes to comfort you. smut
Take my breath away: (Steve, Bucky AU x Reader) You’ve had a huge crush on Bucky all through college but nothing ever happened between you two. You are determined to change this when you see him again at the reunion 15 years later, but another man shows up to disturb those plans. Fluff
I’m alive: (Steve, Bucky) Reader suffers from severe depression and Steve and Bucky comfort her. Fluff
Wintersong: (Stucky) There’s no real plot here, just two boys in a cabin in the snow and a lot of feels and memories, and kissing. Fluff
Homecoming: (Stucky) Steve’s first visit to Bucky in Wakanda. smut
Nothing but a bad dream: (Stucky) Endgame fix it fic where Bucky has a bad dream and Steve has some explaining to do. Fluff
The good boy: (Stucky AU) Steve Rogers is a spoiled annoying rich kid, Bucky Barnes is the handyman/poolboy that works for Steve’s parents. They can’t stand each other. smut
*****************
Multi chapters:
My best friend’s girl: (Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader) Bucky’s been in cryo for a year now, during that time you and Steve have grown closer together. You both want more but are scared to give into your feelings, until one night… smut Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 (finished)
Strings: (Chris x Reader, inspired by Colin Shea) After years of being single you’ve been feeling lonely and horny and are desperate for some casual sex. Your attractive neighbor Chris offers his help. smut Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 (finished)
After all: (Stucky x reader) You’re at a low point in your life when you start sharing an apartment with Steve and Bucky. All you wanted was a roof over your head but you soon grow attached to these men and learn that you’re not the only one who’s struggling with the past. smut Master List
Someone like you: (Steve Rogers x reader) Tired of being the only single girl in the family you hire a male escort to accompany you to your niece’s wedding. Steve Rogers is everything you were looking for in a boyfriend and more. There’s only one problem: he’s only pretending to be yours. smut Master list
Green-eyed monster: (Evanstan x Reader The one where you and Chris suffer from the same unrequited love and decide it’s time to move on. smut Chapter 1, Chapter 2
Requested by Anon, fingering, dirty talk, public sex, dacryphilia, rough sex, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, squirting, slight angst, 18+ content.
You panted softly, your skirt flurrying in the wind as you jogged lightly to the meadow where Shikamaru was waiting for you. The sun beamed down on you, the warm spring air warming your cheeks, glowing your skin and making you feel whimsical about it all. Despite you running late, you knew your boyfriend would be sleeping underneath a shady tree with no care.
Once you reached the meadow behind one of the old training grounds, you scanned the area, "Shika?" you called out, hoping to see his spiky hair ponytail in the field. You saw a hand poke out behind a tree on the far left, waving you down at his location. You grinned, huffing as you run some more to get to him, "So sorry I'm-"
You didn't even get to finish your polite apology before he pulled you down on top of him. Soft grunts from the impact escaped from you both as you collided, "Ow!" you giggled through the sharp pain before rolling off of him to lay at his side, "That hurt".
"You dropped on me", Shikamaru replied with a half-hearted huff, laying back with his arm behind his head, returning to his natural state of relaxation.
You gasped, "You pulled me!" shoving him lightly as you fixed your skirt that bunched up your thighs. You missed Shikamaru's slight peak at the revealed skin before his eyes closed again. You laid back down on the soft grass, gazing up at the tree leaves that protect you both from the sun's harsh light of midday. Small talk wasn't necessary when the two of you were together; you only enjoyed each other's company, relishing the intimacy of just being near one another, basking under the sun and in his affection when he locked your pinkies together.
Moments like these were you're favourite.
When neither of you had responsibilities or people calling for you- after Shikamaru's father died, he became the new head of the Nara Clan. Not only that, but he was also the Hokage's adviser; the days of the two of you running off together to avoid schoolwork and ninja training were behind you. These days, all you had where about an hour of free time together before one of you (usually Shikamaru) were found and pulled away somewhere.
It's why being on time meant so much to you.
"What are you up to?" he mumbled after several minutes of tranquil silence.
You shifted over to your side, facing him and resting your head on your hand to look down at his peaceful face. You gently rubbed the stress lines that began to form on his forehead, "Just taking some casual missions- nothing too taxing, after the war" you bit your lip, feeling his tension under your thumb, "I just want to relax for a while, y'know?"
"Yeah", Shikamaru mumbled, his throat closing tight from the mention of the war that took his father and so many others away, "I hear you".
You leaned down, brushing your lips upon his forehead gently, "How have you been?"
"Tired", he grunted.
You giggled, "Other than that".
Shikamaru opened his eyes, settling his warm brown ones on you, then his hand running up your leg gently as he whispered, "Just missed you". His hand cupped the back of your neck to pull you down into a soft kiss. You eased into his touch, sliding your thigh over his abdomen and pulling yourself closer to his body, half laying on top of him as you kissed.
"Missed you too", you gasped against his lips, feeling his other hand pull you on top of him, so you straddled his hips. You rolled your hips on him, feeling his rising tent poke on your clothed cunt, "Mmm- missed you a lot", you teased lightly before leaning down to capture his lips in a harder kiss.
Shikamaru's warm hand cupped your ass, gripping you hard, pushing your body up and down his cock as it stirred to life under his pants. You mewled softly, moving along with him and already feeling your cunt leak on the fabric from the ministrations. You couldn't help but giggle as you kissed; the two of you dry humping in the field brought back lots of teenage memories. You felt Shikamaru's lips slant in a smirk in response, obviously thinking the same thing.
Your shyness towards outside activities has long since died; during the first year of your sexual ventures with Shikamaru. You learnt early on that the excitement of almost getting caught in public places turned your boyfriend on so much- he often had your panties around your ankles and hand covering your mouth to keep you quiet as people walked past your hiding spot.
His command to keep quiet and hard thrusts into your wet cunt had you moaning and drooling into his large palm until you stained his pants with your release. Over the years, that has become common practice. Pretty soon, your favourite spot became right here, in the meadow on the outskirts of the village, underneath a large oak tree that had your initials carved with a kunai.
Shikamaru's slender fingers ventured up your plush thighs until he reached your cunt, pulsing with heat and already dripping, "Still such a messy girl". Shikamaru grumbled, voice thick with desire as he tugged your panties to the side, gliding his digits along your slippery folds lazily, "Missed this pretty pussy the most".
You jerked into his touch, sighing into his mouth, "And you're such a tease", you rolled against his fingers, catching his thumb on your clit and arching your back from the pleasure shock that ran up your spine, "Come on", you whined, "We don't have time for this". It was only a matter of time before someone came looking for him; you desperately wanted his touch, but not if it becomes ruined in the middle of it. Shikamaru's lazy touches and gentle fucking would have to shift into something hard and fast.
Shikamaru smirked, "We should make more time for it then", his finger probed at your tight hole, not quite penetrating it yet, only so he could feel your pussy quiver around his tip. "Always so sensitive", he mumbled hoarsely, "You gonna cum before I even touch you, hah? You're dripping on me so fucking much, everyone's gonna think I spilt something on myself".
True enough, your wetness seeped through, coating his fingers and slowly trickling on his pants. You whined from his taunts, "Just extra sensitive cause we haven't-" your breath hitched when his finger suddenly pushed inside your tight heat- you arched your back and moaned loudly on top of him when another finger followed.
"You look so pretty like this", Shikamaru mused lightly, laying with one arm behind his head, his right hand thrusting two fingers inside you as you straddled his lap. "My favourite view- you on top of me, crying from my touch".
You wriggled onto his fingers, feeling them slip deeper inside and tickle the sweet spot that had you mewling and gasping for breath, "I-I'm not fucking crying", you managed to huff.
A slow grin spread across his face, "Not yet, but you will be", he curled his fingers inside you, expertly rubbing on your clit as he jerked his wrist, the long digits twitching inside your silky walls from the movement. Shikamaru chuckled when a high pitch keen tumbled from your lips, "You always do".
You smacked his chest playfully, then used him to purchase yourself as you started riding his fingers slowly. "How about when I suck you off so good your eyes cross?" Shikamaru frowned up at you, thrusting his fingers harder so your laugh turned into a wail.
"Don't have time for that", he grunted, shifting so he could unbutton his pants and allow his hardened cock to slip free, slapping against his toned stomach. Shikamaru chuckled at the way your mouth parted with tongue slipping out from the sight of his shaft leaking pre-cum on his belly button, "You wanna taste, baby?"
You nodded your head eagerly, wrapping your smaller hand around his throbbing cock, "Missed the way you taste, baby", you moaned softly, your thumb smearing the pearly beads of cum around his reddened cockhead, "Miss the way you said my name when you fuck my throat". You licked your lips while stroking him slowly, "Remember how you used to stuff my mouth with your cock to get me to stop screaming in the tent during missions?"
"Hah- yes", Shikamaru choked out a laugh when you rubbed his sensitive slit, "You always were a little noisy slut", he jerked his hips, thrusting into your tight fist shallowly, his fingers still buried deep inside your warmth.
You moaned then squeezed around the base of his shaft, enjoying the heat that emitted from his cock and eyes, "You should fuck me like that again, baby- fuck me until I cry".
Shikamaru twitched in your palm, groaning low in his throat from your dirty words and thrusting his fingers inside you to purposely hit that spongy spot inside you that had you gushing on his fingers in no time.
"Shika- ahhh", you cried, throwing your head back and bucking into his fingers as your release washed over you so quickly.
"Shit-" He grunted, fucking his fingers in you vigorously, watching the wetness splash against his hand, "Almost forgot you squirt when I do that". He grinned up at you, "Such a good girl", he cooed beneath you, watching your body spasm on top of him the same way your pussy fluttered around his fingers. You slumped on top of him, but Shikamaru wasn't done with you yet.
In quick movements, Shikamaru grasped your hip with one hand and gripped the base of his cock with the other- guiding his mushroom head to your quivering hole and thrusting inside you in one swift motion. You cried, squirming in his touch, your overstimulated pussy trembling from the sudden intrusion, "W-wait-" you gasped, your thighs shaking from the rough thrusts of his hips.
Shikamaru pulled you down, wrapping his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck, "Thought you said we didn't have time", he puffed out cheekily, spreading his legs and bending his knees so he could pound into you as you remained slumped against his chest. "Thought you wanted me to make you cry", he snarled into your ear, drinking in your pitiful moans, feeling the way your cunt seized his cock in a tight grip, "Fuck!" Shikamaru's hips stuttered, losing his rhythm, "So fucking tight- you're squeezing me so- god!", his teeth latched onto the tender spot on your neck, muffling his deep moans as he fucked you hard and fast- just how you wanted.
You clawed at his chest, gripping his shirt and pressing your forehead on his shoulder as you took Shikamaru's harsh digs into your soft pussy. You could do nothing but hold on for dear life and babble praises about how good he felt and how much it hurt. Your knees pressed against the dirt, no doubt staining your pretty dress while you lay on top of him, feeling his cock drag along your silky walls, "S'fucking good- Shika-aahh, ahhh! H-hurt!" you whimpered, unable to form coherent sentences from the throbbing in your core.
"Yeah? S'good for you, baby? You missed this fuckin' cock, didn't you?" Shikamaru muttered in your ear, voice thick with lust, "Cause I missed this sloppy pussy- fucking wet and tight!" He shouted, despite his efforts to conceal it on your neck, "God- fuckin, love you so much- love this ass-" A harsh smack echoed, as did your wail, "Gonna have to fuck that ass later-" Shikamaru grinned, feeling your tears stain his shirt, "That's it- I make you feel that good, huh?"
You whined, thighs shaking from Shikamaru's hard fucking. You loved it when he got like this- unyielding and feral as he pounds his cock into you as if it's the last time he'll ever feel your pussy clamp around his dick. Shikamaru's long length slid in and out, coated with your juices and his pre-cum, "Only you", the moan that tumbled out of your mouth disturbed the birds nestled on the branches a few feet above you.
Sweat coated your brow, as did Shikamaru's from the effort it took to keep the harsh pace of his hips slapping against your ass, the sounds echoing loudly in your space. Shikamaru felt your gummy walls clasp his cock, warning him of your impending orgasm, "Cum on me- cum on my cock, baby", he grunted through clenched teeth, his heavy balls spanking you from his harsh onslaught into your body, "Make a mess on me".
"Nara!" Came a distant shout, "Are you out here? You're going to miss the clan meeting!"
You both froze.
"S-Shika-" you whimpered, your body tensing from the sound of a person calling for him. The orgasm you felt approaching stalled as your body ran cold. You choked out a whine from your hindered orgasm, the heat turning into a throbbing pain in your belly.
You smacked Shikamaru's chest, signalling him to pull out, but Shikamaru didn't care. He clasped one hand around your mouth, muffling your noises as he flipped you over onto your back.
"Shhh, or he'll find us and see how much of a little slut you are", he smirked, his cock sliding back into your sopping cunt with his hand pressed firmly on your mouth. Shikamaru watched the tears clamp on your lashes as he pushed one leg up, your knee touching your chest- resuming his harsh thrusts at a new angle.
No doubt, the presence of a stranger potentially catching the two of you in the act goaded Shikamaru on. The familiar lust-filled shadow rose across his expression, a feral grin stretching on his face. You whimpered, knowing what's to come and feeling the tears swell from the intense heat that pooled in your abdomen.
"Come on, man! The elders are gonna be pissed".
Shikamaru chuckled when the tears ran down your cheeks, enjoying your quivering thigh and the way you gripped onto the grass as he towered over you. His slender cock reached new depths in this angle, the engorged mushroom head brushing against your sweet spot with every hard thrust. "Such a dirty girl", he grunted, feeling the way your pussy fluttered whenever the voice got closer to your hiding spot, "You want him to catch us? To see you creamin' all over my fuckin' cock?"
Your chest heaved as you attempted to breathe through the abuse your poor cunt had to endure- and you relished in it. The switch that turned when Shikamaru got roused up in public places turned him into a beast- especially if people were nearby. A lustful haze blanketed the two of you, making no room for anyone to pop your bubble as Shikamaru fucked you with such vigour it twisted in your belly and made your thighs shake.
"You'd love to be caught with your legs in the air- pretty pussy exposed for everyone to see, huh?"
You shook your head weakly, but your actions betrayed you when bucking up to meet his thrusts despite his cruel teasing. You felt your orgasm reaching its peak once again with every harsh thrust into your aching cunt. Noises of all sorts spattered into his palm; part of you wanted to become caught- the disgusting, horny demon part that only the man fucking you right now could unleash. You also knew that shame would envelop you if someone so much as heard the sinful noises being ripped from you.
One hand gripped onto his wrist while the other held your thigh up for him, allowing Shikamaru to press tight circles on your swollen clit- ultimately pushing you over the edge after a few jerks.
"Good girl", Shikamaru groaned, "Keep going- cum all over me".
It had you arching your back and gushing all over his pubic bone. Your eyes rolled back, chest heaving while arching your back- clear liquid flowing out of your abused cunt.
"Still so fuckin' noisy- such a pretty girl", he moaned low, never taking his eyes off of you. Shikamaru pressed his hand down harder on your mouth, stifling your wail as you came so violently below him. Your body shook from the force of his pounding, your orgasm wrecking through you with an intensity you haven't felt in such a long time- it had you sobbing.
"That's it-" he hissed, watching your release soak the grass and stain his pants that became bunched up at his thighs, "Make a fuckin mess". Shikamaru continued to fuck you through it, his cock sloshing with the wetness that seeped out of you, his balls tightening and abdomen tensing as his own orgasm neared.
He lost his rhythm when you dropped your thighs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him into your flush body. You whined into his palm, raking your nails down his back as you bucked into him, silently commanding him;
"Want me to cum in you?" Shikamaru rasped, "Now?" you nodded your head, closing your eyes and clawing at his sweat-soaked shirt, pulling him deeper into you. Shikamaru groaned, "Fuck- okay, baby", his sensitive cock twitched at the thought of making you walk home with his load buried deep in you. Shikamaru leaned down, resting most of his weight on his arm above your head as he slowed his hips, thrusting with power instead of speed, "Gonna stuff you full of my cum", he moaned low in his throat. Pumping in and out of your sweet, overstimulated pussy until two- three- four thrusts, Shikamaru was groaning low and coating your slick walls with his thick ropes of cum, stuffing you full.
You cried as your pussy trembled around him, pulling another orgasm out of you as he unloaded into your tightness.
You clenched around him painfully, listening to Shikamaru moan before biting your shoulder to force himself to be quiet. His hips spasmed weakly, your cunt milking him dry until Shikamaru was spent and panting heavily above you.
"Nara! The elders won't be happy you're late!" came the shout, a few yards away, but the large tree blocked you from being discovered.
You felt him twitch inside you, making you whimper and wiggle to get him out of you. Your body felt depleted of energy; a low throbbing pulsed in your ruined little pussy, Shikamaru's rough actions had familiar fatigue settle on your body- but it still hurt in the most cathartic way. You sighed blissfully.
"mmph-" You cried upon his palm still pressed on your mouth when Shikamaru suddenly slid out of you. You felt your pussy clench around nothing while his cum slowly oozed out. Shikamaru gazed at your glistening folds, mixed with your juices with rapt attention before pushing the thick gobs that dribbled out back inside your ruined cunt. You squirmed, whimpering and whining as he kept filling you with his dripping cum.
"Don't lose a drop until I get back", Shikamaru ordered you, eyes clouded with a dark desire that stirred something inside you as he plugged your hole packed with his thick load with his fingers. "Where are your panties?" he gruffed, looking around the space until he found the fabric hanging on one of your ankles somehow. He let go of your mouth, "Put them on, now", he grunted.
"Nara! Seriously!"
"Now", Shikamaru hissed, watching you scramble to put on your panties on the other leg. He retreated his fingers, allowing you to sit up and cover your pussy with the fabric already staining from the wetness that leaked out of you. "You better still have that inside you when I come over later", he smacked your thigh playfully, a lazy smirk returning on his face.
You whimpered, leaning in to kiss him before you both started struggling to make yourself look presentable- the voice getting louder to your side of the meadow.
"One hour- your place", Shikamaru grunted when the voice yelled his name again, "Maybe two hours", he sighed, the weight of responsibility already descending on his shoulders and beginning to produce those stress lines his orgasm washed away.
You giggled, straightening out his collar and pulling a leaf out of his ponytail, "Just come around as soon as it's over", you squirmed on the ground, feeling your pussy leak his load onto your panties, "I-I have to clean-"
"Don't you dare", he snarled, capturing your lips in a hard kiss before pulling away abruptly, "I expect to see my cum in you when I see you".
You whined from his harsh tone, "O-okay", you managed to breathe out as you watched him stand up. You bit your lip, your wetness having stained his dark pants and made them damp from his crotch to thigh. "Looks like you peed yourself", you teased, enjoying the roll of his eyes and the slight huff of frustration.
"You just keep my fat load in that pretty little cunt, and we'll call it even", Shikamaru smirked down at you teasingly before walking away, "Thanks for waking me from my nap!" He shouted, coming out of the hiding spot and walking to the middle of the meadow.
"You were there the whole time?" Said the voice full of disbelief, "I thought I heard some squirrels fighting or something".
You peaked around the tree trunk to only see the back of Shikamaru, the man standing a few feet away. Shikamaru huffed, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly, "Yeah, they were almost as loud as you".
"Why are you all wet and sweaty?"
"Spilled my drink on me in my sleep", Shikamaru replied cooly," Plus- it's hot as fuck today".
"Well, clean yourself up! You're already late- might as well look presentable".
Shikamaru groaned, "What a drag", before following behind the man with heavy steps, but not without looking over his shoulder to shoot a cheeky wink at you that had you stifling a giggle behind your hand.
You watched the two of them walk out of the meadow, stayed for a couple more minutes, then got up from your hiding spot. Now, the afternoon sun was significantly less harsh, warm rays and a gentle breeze swished your dress as you walked out of the meadow.
You walked home with your thighs clenched, cheeks flushed, navigating through the streets of Konoha as best as you could with Shikamaru's seed dripping down your thighs. You tried your best to seem normal, but the lewd act of walking around with your boyfriend's load stuffed inside you, with only a thin cloth keeping the thick globs at bay, had you whimpering to yourself.
"Excuse me, Y/N?"
You tensed, turning around to the sound of your name to see an older gentleman with the Nara clan symbol embroidered on his clothes. He stood with his hands behind his back, shoulders squared and face donning an impassive stare as he studied your dishevelled form. "You are Y/N, correct?"
You nodded shyly, patting down the skirt of your dress, suddenly aware of the grass stains and dirt that coated your lower half. Your body felt flush from the embarrassment of being caught in such a state by someone in Shikamaru's clan. You bowed politely, "Yes, that's me. Can I help you, sir?"
His eyes raked down your frame slowly; you felt his stare pierce through your clothes, almost as if he could tell why you were clenching your thighs so hard. But that's impossible- you hissed to yourself, you're acting dramatic.
That didn't stop your face from burning from the humiliation, damn you, Shikamaru.
"My name is Enchu Nara. I am one of the elder advisors to the Nara Clan".
If it was possible, your cheeks burned hotter, shame filling you to the brim. This was your first meeting with such a respected and high ranking official from your boyfriend's clan, and you had grass stains on your dress and his cum trickling down your thigh. You stood up a little straighter, "Oh", you squeaked pathetically, "N-nice to meet you, sir".
Enchu hummed lightly in barely contained discontent; his gaze on your unkempt appearance screamed dissatisfaction, his disapproval of you was clear, and all he did was introduce himself.
"Is there any place we can talk in private?"
"Yes", you stammered, "My home is just around the corner. I can make us some tea?" and clean up in the privacy of your bathroom- fuck what Shikamaru said, you had to clean yourself up.
He nodded, walking alongside you quietly as you led the way to your small apartment.
It only took five minutes for the two of you to stand in front of your red door and guide him to your tiny kitchen table by the counter, "Please, take a seat, and I will be right back". You didn't give him a moment to reply before you dashed to your bathroom down the hall.
You slipped off your dirty panties, whimpering when you felt the fluid seep out of you. Biting your lip, you sat down on the toilet seat and began to clean yourself up with wet wipes. Your hands shook with nerves, shame and a little guilt for disobeying Shikamaru's orders.
You made quick work of cleaning yourself up, putting on a fresh pair of underwear and stripping off your dirty dress to slip on the casual kimono you often wore around the house. It wasn't traditional, but at least it was clean.
"So sorry for the wait, sir", You said as casually as you could with flushed cheeks and shaky hands, "I hadn't had the time all day to use the bathroom", you babbled in what you hoped was playful conversation. From the look on his face, he didn't seem to find you as charming as you thought. You cleared your throat awkwardly when the silence stretched, busying your hands with the kettle and settling a tray with your cute little tea set, "What brew would you prefer? I have green tea, chamomile, peppermint-"
"Excuse me, but I have something important to discuss with you, and your idle prattling is only making this longer than it needs to be".
You bit your tongue, anger starting to take the place shame once sat as you eyed the older gentleman, "Okay", you said slowly, setting down the teapot, "What is it?" You bit the inside of your cheek, watching him place his hands on his lap as if touching your table cloth or anything you owned was beneath him.
"To put it frankly, Enchu began to say in a dull monotone, "The Elders have agreed on a match for Shikamaru, and unfortunately, dear- it's not you".
You stared at him for a moment in quiet disbelief. He must have taken your silence as an indication to continue talking, spewing more muted criticism towards you. "Please, don't take this personally", you couldn't help but scoff- Enchu continued uncaringly, "This match will be equally beneficial for both families- Shikamaru is an exceptional young man, and he should be married to someone in his calibre". The last word dripped with disdain- you were mildly surprised he didn't drool all over his chin.
You laughed, shocking him and pulling the man out of his classist high horse for a moment as he stared at you in surprise. You just threw your head back and laughed- how you always did when you felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.
"You did this for what?" You said between laughter, "You're asking me to break up with the man I've been with since we were teenagers- for what?" you scoffed, "For a marriage that was decided between a few grumpy old people that have no right in-"
"We have every right!" He shouted, rising from his chair quickly, making it topple over and crash on the floor, "This is what's best for the future of the Nara Clan!" Enchu sighed, straightening out his robes as if arguing with you was demeaning, "I know this must be upsetting to hear, but a union with a strong clan will-"
"And what does Shikamaru say?" You crossed your arms, fully secure in your boyfriend's attitude towards something like this. You knew Shikamaru loved you. There was no way-
"He has agreed".
The air left you like a punch to the gut, "What?" you choked out, tightness in the form of despair clutching at your chest as you stared at the man in front of you with wide eyes.
Enchu sighed, moving to the side so he could pick up the chair and tuck it back under the table, "He should have told you earlier, but he has agreed on the union. That's the meeting he was late to today, to plan a trip to meet the family". He said calmly as if the room around you wasn't spinning and the tears weren't rolling down your cheeks.
You laughed again, albeit it came out strangled and short this time from the lump in your throat, "So you've resorted to lying-"
"Ask him", he stared at you with interest in his dark eyes, "Ask him where he's going later, and watch him deflect the answer". Enchu bowed his head then began to walk out of your home, "It's nothing against you- this marriage is for the sake of our clan, and Shikamaru has vowed to uphold the honour and perform whatever duties necessary of him to achieve this".
"Get out", you whispered hollowly, sorrow clutching your throat as you tried to wrap your head around what just happened.
"Good day", he said calmly before exiting your home, taking the last of your restraint with him as the tears began to fall in abundance.
♡•°•°•°°•°•°♤•°•°•°•°•°•◇
The next couple of hours flew by in a haze of anguish and disbelief. You didn't want to believe that stranger over your years with Shikamaru. You knew what kind of man he was, in your heart, the one that was beginning to shatter as doubt crept in.
"No", you whispered out loud, rising from the kitchen floor you slid down to when you cried. "No", you said more firmly, wiping away the tears, "No!" He wouldn't do this- Shikamaru wouldn't simply leave you like that; he wouldn't agree to an arranged marriage and still keep you on the side. Shikamaru was not that kind of man.
A soft knock on the door sounded, tearing you away from the turmoil you sank into and finally seeing that dusk had settled in the outside world. You wiped your face with a tissue before walking over and opening the door, finding Shikamaru standing there with a frown and fresh clothes- with his mission bag strapped on his back.
"Where are you going?"
"On a mission", he grumbled, clearly unhappy, "I just came to tell you that I will be gone for a couple of weeks".
You gripped the kimono tight to your chest, forcing yourself to say these next words, "How was the clan meeting?"
Shikamaru shrugged, "Nothing interesting", though there was an unusual edge to his voice that wedged the doubt deeper in your heart, "But-"
Your breath hitched, tears brimming in your eyes as you thought back to what the elder said and the way Shikamaru refused to look you in the eye. His eyes settled somewhere over your shoulder, and even though he leaned against your door frame, there was a thick vein stressed on his temple, and his shoulders were slumped in obvious fatigue.
"But what?" you pressed, the silence killing you just as much as the looming cloud of tension that seemingly descended upon the two of you, "Shika-"
"When I get back, there's something I have to tell you".
"Wha-"
"Later", he gruffed, clipped and agitated that didn't seem directed at you, but you were the closest person to him- so, unfortunately, received the attitude.
You bit your cheek, pushing down your frustration so you could speak calmly, "Where are you going?"
Shikamaru rose a brow before taking in your teary eyes and trembling lip, "Is there something wrong?" he softened his voice, pushing himself off of the door frame and reaching out a hand for you. His automatic caring instincts activated from the sight of your distress.
You recoiled from his touch, tightening your grip on the kimono, "Where are you going?" you repeated firmly, adding a bite to your tone and steel to your gaze, protecting yourself against the pain stinging in your chest.
Shikamaru looked taken aback, "What's gotten into you?" he tried reaching for you again, but you jerked more forcibly, rejecting his touch and putting some distance between you. This time, Shikamaru frowned, confused by your attitude and sudden cold behaviour towards him, "What-"
"Tell me where you're going", you tried to bury the tremble in your voice with a harsh glare- the more he deflected, the more doubt slithered its way and poisoned you, "Is it something to do with the meeting you had?"
"Why are you pushing this?"
"Why won't you tell me?"
"I will!" Shikamaru shouted in exasperation, rubbing his hand over his face, "I'll tell you when I get back, I just-"
"Nah", you choked out, "Tell me now", you couldn't hide the tears this time, "Tell me where you're going", you practically begged with a whisper.
Shikamaru stared at you, short pants of breath and jaw clenching in poorly restained frustration. Tension filled with sorrow, anger and confusion boiled between you- until, "I'll be back in two weeks", he grumbled finally, turning around and walking away from you.
The final wedge stabbed at your chest, completely shattering your heart and leaving you sobbing quietly behind your door.
Going into Destiny should NEVER feel like a chore.
It's feeling like a chore.
Sort of taking a break from the game for a bit. I tried playing a bit tonight but ... meh. Not only is it feeling overly grindy and boring, but stalled. There is lore, and there is a story, but it's just dragging for me right now and making it hard to pull together anything for my fic that inspires me and seems like it would be a key point in Cayde and Ais's life. Not that the overall story right now isn't key, but there are specific key points I want to touch on and the current one I am working with I can't really move forward on until I know more that hasn't been released yet. It's not like it used to be where things moved and the urgency to do something, or prevent something felt real. Right now - as it has been for a while - there's a clear and obvious dire threat but it's like no one cares. None of the NPC's seem concerned in the ways they used to. Also, after playing some D1, I never realized just how much I truly missed Ikora, Zavala, and, of course, Cayde, over the comms when in orbit or heading onto/into a mission. Things have been feeling very empty and detached.
I'm also still waiting for something to tie in to with where I am now that leads us into the next part and there's too much up in the air and no real direction I can confidently send Cayde and Ais into just yet. I definitely want to do right by them - especially Cayde - so I'm going to continue to hold off on updating the story until I see more of something of substance I can work with. Hopefully next month with the new season. We shall see.
Of course, if a mini fic comes to mind - as one tends to - I will jot it down and upload it. But the main story is just going to have to wait and, fingers crossed, Bungo actually gets their act together and we start seeing some good things again.
