[Dawn] So... if you don't know what it is; a moose is a giant hooved animal with huge antlers like pasta scoops. They're megafauna, and if you hit one it pretty much destroys your car. They're tall and quite heavy. So I drove to town just to get a couple of things to cook later and I was headed back. And I go around a tight corner and surprise! Here's this giant animal standing in the middle of the road and I can't stop in time. And it had it's head down so I caught it at the worst angle. The antlers got caught in my grill and snapped its neck and I ran over it and careened into the ditch. Now sometimes when animals or people die really violently and suddenly their souls get confused or aggressive because they don't know what's happening. And this moose spirit was very angry. So I'm slumped over in the drivers seat because I banged my head on the wheel and this ghost rushes me and starts slamming into me. At this point I'm disoriented, I've got blood in my eyes and I'm flailing trying to get it away from me. So I grab the container of salt I just bought and start swinging it everywhere. What I didn't know was that a cop saw me swerve off and pulled up behind me. This dead moose is braying in my ears and I don't hear him come up to the busted window. At least not until I throw the salt in his face because I didn't see him. So now he's pissed off and I can't use the voice without him hearing me or being affected by it. After several minutes of yelling he's convinced I'm hysterical and he runs to get some water from his car. While he's gone I finally manage to get the spirit away from me. So I waste an hour or so filling out paperwork and taking a sobriety test and he leaves me there. But since it was an okay fall day I decided to just walk home and deal with the car later. As I'm coming up the drive I see a bike hidden in the trees. I was pretty sure I knew who it belonged too so I figured my neighbor sent their teenager Kevin over to trade some of their honey for my chicken eggs or similar. - Outside it's starting to snow a bit. - And he'll be on my porch waiting for me. But he's not, so I go inside. Apparently he decided that since my door was unlocked he could snoop a little before I got home. The kid found an unmarked bottle of absinthe that I was steeping and took a straight swig of it. I found him in my bathroom. He'd unrolled all the toilet paper and then rolled himself up in the pile. He told me he couldn't talk to me because he was currently a spool of thread. So I go to call his mom. While I was on the phone; he stripped off all his clothes and ran for the front door. I made a flying tackle for him and missed, hitting my head a second time. So now I'm just examining the carpet and thinking about my life choices when I hear Kevin start screaming his head off. He jumped naked into a mulch pile and there were slugs. Not the best thing to see when you're high and violently hallucinating. So my neighbor on the other side hears him screaming and thinks someone is getting murdered. He drops everything to run over with a pickaxe. I manage to get up and we sorted it all out. But when Daniel ran over he left the goat pen open. So when he got back home his billy goats were standing on his car roof and the male, Beetlebeep, was pulling the weather stripping off the car doors. It really wasn't a good day for any of us.
