ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Peter Solarz
Monterey Bay Aquarium
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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JBB: An Artblog!
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tannertan36
Cosimo Galluzzi
titsay
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occasionally subtle
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@febfems
everyone drop out of college and quit your jobs we are losing our best fandom bloggers to the machine of capitalism
why work 40 hours a week for minimum wage when you could be arguing with people on tumblr over fictional characters that no one has ever heard of
stop ignoring your bisexuality and live happy
whos ignoring it im sure my friends and followers would pay money for me to shut up about it actually
Is it okay for me to identify as febfem and to only wanna date women as a bisexual ( with a preference for women ) because I'm too insecure to date men ? Since men tend to expect women to be a certain way and i just don't want to change myself or my body to meet those expectations. And just the idea of being with a man makes me overall uncomfortable. So it this okay ? Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I’m worried that it might seem like I'm just choosing to date women because I don’t feel good enough for men, which i know isn't the case but it's hard to convince my head
you can do whatever you want
I'm scrolling through your blog and something doesn't feel right... I'm bi too and I somehow knew it since I was 12-13 (now I'm 18). But for a certain period of my life I was a radfem and orbited political lesbian circles online. I hated feeling something for males - not just boys my age, even fictional male characters. I felt like a savage or a whore! But having feelings for girls my age or fictional characters felt normal although a little bit scary bc I lived in a small rural town in Eastern Europe. Ok, maybe I just was immature, like, I was 14 and started getting rid of it at 16. But now this idea of febfem looks so wrong to me. Ofc, you can date whoever you want, that's your right to do so. But aren't OSA women discouraged from liking men? Look, in almost all mass culture media a straight couple is something like that: a man wants a woman, but a woman doesn't show any sign of being interested in him, she just doesn't resist his desire. If she desires a man, she's either a savage or a whore. Women aren't encouraged to feel lust for men.
Attraction to men is one of two sides of bisexuality. It's not better or worse than the other side - attraction to women. So why is febfem even a thing? I've never heard about male exclusionary bisexual females or feb/meb males - probably except for people who are in monogamous relationship and don't cheat, but that's not that's. Bi men don't care about it, they just date people they like. What's wrong with us, bi women?
I think it is very silly to say women are discouraged from liking men. To your examples, I agree there is traditionally an expectation for men to pursue women and not vice-versa, but women are absolutely encouraged to partner with men. A large portion of the media targeted at girls and young women involve crushes, romance, getting married to a prince and living happily ever after. Many women report constant pressure from their families to get married and settle down, and that they are constantly asked about dating and relationships by family members. Women who don't get married are labelled "old maids", whereas single men are the much nicer sounding "bachelors". These are just examples, I could go on- and this isn't even to mention the way our culture promotes heterosexuality in general for both men and women, and the effects of homophobia on gay/bi people of both sexes.
I am sorry that you have struggled with your male attraction in the past, but please don't project that onto me. Some febfems refer to themselves as such simply because they only experience attraction to women the majority of the time, and as such only seek out and date women, but still find value in discussing their bisexuality with women in similar positions. For me, it is partly due to my preference for dating women, and partly because as a feminist I don't want to partner with a man, and I feel the risks outweigh any possible benefits. That said, I have a very healthy relationship with my attraction to men and I am not ashamed of it, in part because I have connected with women in the same boat as me. I find a lot of comfort in engaging with my attraction to men through media, fictional characters, celebrity crushes, etc., whilst knowing this doesn't mean I have to date them IRL.
In terms of the febfem label, it's a thing because the concept of being a bisexual woman who only dates other woman resonated with enough people that they wanted to have a label to find each other and quickly refer to their common experience. It is rare to be a bisexual woman who only dates other women, and connecting with other febfems allows you to discuss your unique experiences with people who understand. For me, that has been quite valuable.
It's okay if the label doesn't make sense to you or isn't something you'd choose for yourself. You can do whatever you want. Similarly, so can I, and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort and empowerment in my sexuality. I hope you can respect that even if you do not understand it.
What if we were both women and only pursued other women
hi febfems did you know there's a febfem discord server, if you're interested go shoot a message to @febfems <3
ily so much watermelinoe but also dont do that cuz i cant get dms on here but def dm @deaddruid !!!!
Hi everyone!
My name's Ruthie, and I'm taking over this blog for the time being. Lots of love to Lore who took very good care of it <3
I might change a few things up, but I'm looking forward to getting to connect with some lovely febfems on here.
If you're interested in getting to know me and some of my lovely feb friends, please pm me @deaddruid on here and I'll send you a link to our discord server and explain the verification process.
You'll be a good fit for this server if you are a bisexual woman (18+), and you are only interested in dating other women.
Even if you don't necessarily call yourself a febfem or you have some questions about us/if you should join, as long as you fit those criteria above, you're more than welcome to message me and we can discuss if you'd be right for our server. We are a pretty chill group with a diverse range of beliefs and experiences, so don't be afraid to reach out!
Our main priorities are fostering community amongst like minded bisexual women, celebrating and appreciating our same-sex attraction and bisexuality, providing a space for us to discuss a wide range of topics, such as our lives, our hobbies, interests, current events, and lots more.
At the moment, we are only a small group of members, but this server has a lovely history and we all have seen the value of being able to connect with other febfems. We are planning on introducing events and more ways to connect as we expand, so please come join and help us grow a fantastic community :)
Mwah! Talk to you all soon!
Bi women dating other bi women 💗💜💙
Hi everyone!
My name's Ruthie, and I'm taking over this blog for the time being. Lots of love to Lore who took very good care of it <3
I might change a few things up, but I'm looking forward to getting to connect with some lovely febfems on here.
If you're interested in getting to know me and some of my lovely feb friends, please pm me @deaddruid on here and I'll send you a link to our discord server and explain the verification process.
You'll be a good fit for this server if you are a bisexual woman (18+), and you are only interested in dating other women.
Even if you don't necessarily call yourself a febfem or you have some questions about us/if you should join, as long as you fit those criteria above, you're more than welcome to message me and we can discuss if you'd be right for our server. We are a pretty chill group with a diverse range of beliefs and experiences, so don't be afraid to reach out!
Our main priorities are fostering community amongst like minded bisexual women, celebrating and appreciating our same-sex attraction and bisexuality, providing a space for us to discuss a wide range of topics, such as our lives, our hobbies, interests, current events, and lots more.
At the moment, we are only a small group of members, but this server has a lovely history and we all have seen the value of being able to connect with other febfems. We are planning on introducing events and more ways to connect as we expand, so please come join and help us grow a fantastic community :)
Mwah! Talk to you all soon!
So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife
I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also
Yeah this is going to break containment babe.
Your boss isn’t cool, there has to be a reason multiple women are attempting to poison him.
bisexual D&D barbarian stimboard, for anon
sources
Happy Febfem February! I hope all your febfem dreams come true this month! ⚢💜💙
Bisexual Herstory
February 12th 2017, just two days before Valentines Day, Tumblr user xliaxheartlock creates the acronym “FEB” for female exclusive bisexual women.
Later the acronym adopts “fem” for “female” NOT “feminist”.
There are so many reasons why a bisexual woman would identify with a term like FEBfem. This may include;
+ they slide more to the right of the Kinsey Scale
+ they don’t feel safe dating men and are protecting themselves from reliving past traumas or from being introduced to intimate partner male violence
+ they’ve never dated a man and don’t plan on starting anytime soon
+ maybe other women are the only ones who give them romantic and sexual attention so its not really a “choice” per say to be FEB
+ they’re GNC(gender non-conforming) and are tired of being pressured to perform femininity by male partners
+ they’ve stopped dating men for political or spiritual reasons
+ PIV(penis in vagina) is unenjoyable or maybe even painful for a multitude of health reasons or they are penis repulsed
Like anything else, the meaning of FEBfem can be misconstrued. There are some who feel threatened by the term and have unfortunately attempted to tarnish the reputations of women who identify with it.
This includes suggesting bi women who exclude men from their love lives are;
+ uptight and created the term to put other women down
+ self hating and wish they were lesbians because theyre embarrassed of being bisexual
+ were coerced or pressured into identifying as a FEBfem to promote political purity
+ just political lesbians in disguise(which insinuates they’re actually hetero)
While its extremely harmful to uncritically and hastily spread such misinformation, if you are curious about what FEBfem means you should ask a woman who identifies with the term instead of relying on outsiders. Please be respectful and understanding of the unique experiences of bisexual women.
xliaxheartlock’s blog seemed to have been short lived but I hope wherever she is she knows how greatly the women of the bi community appreciate her and how much we owe her for suggesting we simply start abbreviating a then up and coming term as important as female exclusive bisexual. An acronym may not seem like a big deal, but it completely changed the game. Thank you.
It's been 5 years since this acronym was coined!
Everyday I'm grateful for the spaces that have been created under this acronym and many women who it has helped be happy with and accept their bisexuality and be okay with being strongly SSA-leaning.
Being Febfem is okay. 💗💜💙
Being Febfem is beautiful.💗💜💙
Being Febfem is normal.💗💜💙
Love yourself and love the ones who love you back 💗💜💙
✨Happy 5th Febfem Anniversary!💗💜💙✨
Hi, I’m the anon who sent in that ask about being male-exclusive and bi. It’s been a while since you answered that ask but you really made me feel so much better about myself In just a few words. I was afraid I might be met with hostility or something for bringing up my attraction to men on a female-oriented blog (which, I love this blog btw, I’m so happy I found it by chance) but it was nice to not be treated like I’m not bi because of that. Of course you would understand though because we’re kind of in the same boat. I hope you meet a lovely lady who makes you very happy someday! :)
If I made at lease one bisexual woman feel just a tiny bit more at peace with her sexuality then I'm happy. I'm happy I helped in some way and thank you! I wish you all the best. 💗💜💙
Masculine/Androgynous goth febfem moodboard
If you’re reading this please be nice to yourself today because you do matter
