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@feelingsleepysstuff
@introvertsnation
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I need an older guy who will show me love, praise and respect instead of just lusting over me please
The feminine urge of wanting to be full of someones cvm even though you're a virgin
If I just close my eyes, will the earth envelope me? Will I decay right here, let my body rot into the soil? For my physical body to bleed into the ground like water soaking a sponge. In a funny way, I imagine that would be freeing. Because my soul runs. It runs, and it keeps running. It hops, skips and jumps and it does not look back. My soul is no longer caged in by my flesh.
I want an eternity to pass, so that I can mould together with that's below. For vines to wrap around me in an everlasting hug. I would return to whence every living being must return to.
The foxes, the flies, the birds would all tear at my flesh. Wolfing it down, filling their stomachs. And the cycle of life would continue. My physical would no longer be able to hold me.
I just like to imagine us sleeping together, Not in a sexual way. But a warm sweet way.
It's late. Our limbs are entangled, so much so that it's hard to see where one of us ends and the other starts. My head rests on your arm, supported by its firm muscle. Your other arm is thrown over my body, holding me, protecting me. Your leg cages both of mine against your body. Your warmth is pressed against me, flooding me. My arm is pressed against your chest, feeling your steady heartbeat. The heart that you tell me beats for me. My other arm encircles your waist, gripping you tightly through my slumber. I never want to let go. And I never want you to let go.
I jolt awake, sweat drenching my body. I panic as I open my eyes - only to be met with darkness. I only feel a sense of weightlessness. Then i feel you move next to me. I'm suddenly made aware of you. Guarding me. Your eyes are open, tired, but filled with concern.
"Nightmare?" you ask through your parted lips. I breathe a small sigh of relief and nod. Your eyes cloud with soft sympathy. You embrace me, pulling us together once again. Your presence already brings me a sense of security. You press your lips to my forehead whilst your fingers trace small circles on my waist. Turning your head, you whisper loving reassurances directly into my ear.
"It's ok, I'm here. It's just a dream." I respond by relaxing completely. You are so good at that. Making me relax. My body loosens, allowing me to drift off once again. Your voice becomes quieter as my breathing starts to slow.
Is this too much to ask?
is it normal for my skin to burn when an image of you pops into my head? As if the top layer is peeling off excruciatingly slowly. Red, shiny and raw skin being exposed to the air for the first time. Are you sure it's supposed to feel like this?
How is it possible for something to feel so heavenly yet so hellish at the same time? How can someone be such an angel yet be the same devil that caused the fall? You shine your light on me yet lure me to temptation. How is that possible? Well I suppose it makes sense. After all, the devil used to be an angel. How silly for me to create such a large divide in my mind.
There are moments that I share with you, moments that can only be described as euphoric. My soul makes its way up, whilst my body stays anchored to the earth. But I fall back down. I come back. To you.
Electricity fizzes within me every time your sweet lips move. Those damn lips. The ones I long to taste. Heat rushes through me when our eyes meet. As if our souls are connecting. An ache fills me when your clear voice travels across the space between us and nestles deep inside me. Why can't I have you? I swear to the god I don’t believe in, I love you. I love you more than I hate myself.
Because I really do hate myself. Why aren't I enough for you? Why aren't I better, for you? Why aren't I deserving of you? What can I do to make this right?
The answer is nothing. How could a mere mortal desire a being on a much higher plane? You are divine. Divinity itself. At least in my eyes.
My soiled hands should not yearn to touch such pure ones. My small and ugly heart could never connect with yours. Yet I try anyway. I give you all the love I have to give. But it's useless. You were never meant to be mine. I was never meant to be yours.
I've come to accept that. I can admire you from afar, Admire your smart, witty jokes. Admire your mischievous smirk. Admire your long hair cascading down your bare neck and back. Admire your back as you leave me. Forever.
Your heart was never with me. It never will be. You are not mine. Our love is not that which descended from the heavens, dear angel. There is no "we". I am sorry that I even fantasised about this.
The story of Life and Death
The moments where Life meets Death can either be the happiest, or the saddest. A new life, versus a fresh death. What then, is the difference when the two are essentially the same?
Death used to be nothing. It was a void. No meaning. Strange to think about, I know. But it was neither good nor bad. There was no pain of existence. It just was.
Then came Life. Sweet bubbly Life. Think green grass, bright blue skies, and oh so much hope. New life was symbolic of innocence and hope. Everyone likes hope right? It would be common sense to assume then, that Life was a precious existence. A deity to be adored and cherished.
Death was the opposite. Dark and dull and mysterious. A concept that eluded the rational mind. A rational being would fear Death. It was horrible and gruesome or sad and terrifying. No one knew very much about Death. Only that it was silent and inevitable. For Death and time were intertwined, as they would be for the rest of existence.
But it is often that people forget that Death is what gives Life meaning, and it is even more true vice versa. Death used to be nothing, such as life was nothing. Once more, Life could be just as dark as Death. Life can be purple bruises, grey skies, mind-numbing hatred. And, at times, Death can be such a relief. A warm soft hug at the end of an exhausting day. Death is only the object of fear if the mind wills it so.
For Death is the beginning, as well as the ending. Death is everlasting and infinite. From it, springs life, just as all Life will eventually return to Death. Just as we wake from our beds in the morning only to return at night, the same goes for Death.
Life can be deceiving, whereas Death tells no lies.
Life and Death often meet. Despite being polar opposites, their pull towards each other was strong and right. Life and Death would embrace, hearts pounding, love blooming.
Life would tell stories. Long, unpredictable stories, with countless twists and turns. Death would listen, completely enthralled. He couldn't help it. Life was just so interesting. Her every word captivated him, his mind hungered for more.
And so Life would sit and talk, whilst Death would sit and listen. That was the way it had always been, and it would likely always be.
One day, Life and Death will reunite and return to what they once were. Nothing.
deep stuff idk
I don't know what it means to love someone. I've never done it before. But I know that I desire your love. I know that there's nothing I'd love more.