HOME AT LAST

I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn't, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn't realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.❞ multi-muse. oc. indie rp. selective. written by angie (21,she/her,cst)

[feelinvented]

A letter to those who had ever followed me in the rpc –

It’s silly that I’m writing this letter, and I’m sure you’re thinking it’s silly to even read it. I don’t blame you. I mean, why read a letter posted by someone who makes an appearance for five seconds then vanishes for ages? I don’t have a reason, but here I am writing anyways.

I guess what I’m getting at is to apologize but also thank every single one of you. As time passes, I’ve become more and more aware of just how terrible I am at maintaining friendships or just about anything in my life. When things are heavy, I usually turn the other cheek, collect myself, and nearly ignore everyone and everything in the process. I never realized I do this until I scrolled through my messages on my indie blogs.

Now, to be fair, I’m an anxious person by nature and unfortunately this makes me socially awkward. I overthink my words, so much so that I end up saying nothing. It’s easier that way. But reading such kind messages from such patient writing partners in the past… I don’t know. It made me realize how unaware I am when I have something amazing. 

I’m sorry if I didn’t reply to messages, didn’t reply to threads, etc. I’m working on myself and I truly hope one day I can just talk to people without having to think so much.

But I’d also like to thank you. Because despite how awol I could be, there was a lot of good that came out of writing with old and new friends on tumblr. I was looking back on old threads and messages and couldn’t stop smiling. I realized how fun all of this was when I didn’t think so much. It was fun when I could stay awake till 6 am just writing with someone because we’re obsessed with a ship. It was fun shipping characters! It was fun writing angst, fluff, and everything in between. It was fun writing about characters that I could never even dream to be.

So, thank you for the fun and all the patience you have given me throughout the years.

I don’t think anyone has read this far or even seen this post at all, but if you have, thanks for sticking around. Still following me after all this time? You’re either super sweet or just forgot to hit unfollow – and honestly, either way, I love you.

Enjoy writing and remember to take time out of your day to talk to one another!

 Love,

Angie (the girl who uses jake johnson’s face for everything)

[waveofstars]

“We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down, and worry about our place in the dirt.”

written by angie 

[waveofstars]

“We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down, and worry about our place in the dirt.”

written by angie 

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   “We just need seven more, huh?” Brock teased as he pulled her in for another kiss. The two of them had always wanted a dog, it was one of the first things they talked about when they first started dating but their lives were too all over the place to take care of a puppy. She was flying out doing work and he was as well, but now the two of them were making this new life at home, which he was even more excited about. They had a new addition of their growing family, and he couldn’t wait to see how the two of them took care of this little puppy. 

   His smile widened as he watched the puppy roam around his new home and get comfortable. It was like he belonged here, like she said like fate. “Don’t laugh, but I’ve had this name in my head for a long time.” He said with another chuckle. “What if we name him Moose?” It felt just like yesterday that he was visiting her up in Canada and she surprised him with that moose basket. He still wore the hat and the shirt, and it only seemed right to name him after a memory that the two cherished. “He kinda looks like a Moose, don’t you think?”  

   He felt like a kid on Christmas morning, and even though they were winding down there night he just had this whole burst of energy now that there was this new addition to their family. “It all makes sense why you had to go to your brother’s… you’re sneaky, you know that?” He teased as he sighed happily. “But I love you, so much. This really means the world to me. We have another new addition to the Hudson clan.” 

      Moose. It was perfect. No wonder the dog reminded her of him – Brock was always going to be her moose. She removed herself from his embrace and sat down on the ground so the puppy could crawl up onto her excitedly. She scratched him behind the ear and chuckled when he began kicking his leg in response. “Moose,” she echoed then looked up at Brock. “It’s perfect.”

     Reaching over on the coffee table, she took a sip of wine that she assumed was hers (but even then… she’d drink his either way). She felt incredibly lucky that Valentine’s Day panned out in her favor after all. She couldn’t remember the last time Brock seemed so excited about anything. She knew it was going to be hard for him to retire and hang up the skates, so a puppy just seemed like the perfect thing he needed to focus on.

     “I’m very sneaky,” she responded playfully then patted the ground for Brock to sit next to her. “I’m glad you like him. Now we have a little family. Expect Christmas Cards and the whole nine yards from us this year.” She laughed and let Moose run to him. “I’d say our first Valentine’s day as a married couple was a major success, wouldn’t you?”

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   When Brock heard the door open, he couldn’t help but to chuckle to himself because who knew what she had up her sleeve. Knowing her it might be another beautifully made video of the two of them and their relationship. What he wasn’t expecting was for this little puppy to run over and try to jump up and join him on the couch. His eyes went wide and his smile went even wider as he saw the heart shaped collar, knowing that this had to be the present she was talking about. 

   His chuckles turned into laughs as he picked the puppy up into his arms and pet the dog behind the ears. For the longest time he had always wanted a dog, even when he was younger he’d beg day in and day out for a dog, and now that dream was finally coming true. This was another step that the two of them were taking since they were going to be raising this dog together, which he was even more excited about. 

   He picked the dog up into his arms and got up so he could give her a huge hug. “This is… wow. I love you.” Brock said as he leaned in and gave her a long kiss to her lips. The puppy squirmed in his arms and when he finally put him down he watched as he started to explore his new home. 

   “Does he have a name? Is he sleeping with us? Do we even have dog food?” The smile on his face widened even more as he wrapped his arms around her waist and just held her there for a long moment. “Thank you, so much.” 

      The look on his face made Chey love this little holiday even more. Normally she gave meaningful presents, often spent months planning just what to do, but somehow this felt just as special. They had been talking about one day owning dog all the way back when they first started dating. Their schedules never allowed it and their life was too chaotic to even own a house let alone a dog. Yet, there they were now, married and slowly settling down and living a more stable life. It was the perfect time.

      She returned his kiss and watched the little puppy roam around the room curiously. She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt relieved knowing she did a good job on his present. “I love you, too. Thought it was about time we owned up to that promise to one day own 8 dogs,” she teased then let out a little chuckle.

     “He doesn’t have a name – I was going to let you have the honors. But you should have seen all the stuff I got for him today. Food, treats, toys, a bed – you name it, I bought it. And of course he can sleep with us.” If she had known it would have made Brock this happy, she would have done this a long time ago. “I rescued him from a shelter. He was recently dropped off there. Felt kind of like fate… I’m glad you like him.”

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   Before he could say anything, she held a finger to his lips and he just chuckled to himself. She had something up her sleeve and instead of asking questions like he usually would, he kept silent so he wouldn’t ruin the surprise. “Can you at least put some pants on before you go to your brother’s?” He teased as he nudged his hips with hers and shook his hair out once more. At least he could get their movie night set up while she was at her brother’s. 

   After the two of them made it back to the house, he gave her a quick kiss so she could run to her brother’s and he could set up the final thing of their Valentine’s Day. Once she was gone, he went to go grab something comfortable to change into (he also grabbed some clothes for her if she wanted to wear them as well) before heading downstairs and grabbing the rest of the candy that they didn’t eat. His mind was just raising as to what she got him that was so important that she had to leave it at her brother’s. He flopped on their couch and let out a happy sigh as he set everything up. 

   The two of them had countless movie nights, but he wanted this one to be special. He just wanted to enjoy all of this time that he was spending with her since he knew he would have to head back on the road soon. He poured them another glass of wine and put his feet up on their coffee table as he waited for her to come back. 

     She cackled and began to pull her pants on reluctantly. “You know how I feel about pants.” After retrieving her keys from the house, she went on her way to pick up his gift. The whole idea of his gift was spontaneous, though it seemed like an idea that ran around her mind for ages. However, she didn’t plan it all too well. Which, unfortunately, left the gift at her brother’s house all night long. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to like Brock’s gift more than anyone.

    Once she returned home, she cracked open the front door and poked her head through.

    “Ready for your-” but before another word could escape her lips, suddenly a rambunctious puppy wearing a heart patterned collar came running inside. “Dammit,” she laughed then walked in, letting the puppy go to Brock.

     The puppy jumped onto Brock’s leg trying his best to crawl up to him, obviously wanting to be picked up. Once Chey realized it was Valentine’s Day she figured she’d just go to the shelter and finally get a dog. This little guy immediately owned her heart, and there was just something about him that reminded her of Brock. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Slick. Consider it our first addition to the family.”

[themotivationjournals]

If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. When you wake up, you can’t just wait to see what kind of day you’ll have. You have to decide what kind of day you’ll have.

Joel Osteen (via thelovejournals)

[feelinvented]

xourdiariesx:

        “I’ll get on a such sugar rush that I think I’ll go into the nearest club and party for at least an hour, Rory,” Olivia said through a huge grin as she took another piece of candy. Fine, she had a sweet tooth, but how could one say no to something sweet? It was so impossible, at least for Olivia. “But speaking of rather spending money than having a boyfriend, I have to disagree with you on that. I would always rather have a boyfriend because they can do some things money, after all, can’t.”

     If it’s one thing Rory knew first hand, it was that money couldn’t buy you happiness. Money could do terrible things, but Rory also knew all too well that love could do terrible things just the same. Though she had always wanted to be loved, loved the idea of love… it left a bitter taste on her tongue these days. “True,” she spoke simply then shrugged. “Money isn’t everything, but I’m fine on my own, too.”

[claurps]

Jennifer Lawerence and Nicholas Hoult in X-Men: Days of Future Past

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   With her head on his shoulder and his arms around her waist, Brock really felt at peace. It was like they were the only two people in this big, vast world and he loved that feeling. The waves continued to move them, and as they went a bit deeper into the water, he watched their perfect house on the beach start to get smaller and smaller. Everything about this was so perfect, even more perfect than he intended it to be. He placed a kiss to the side of her head as the two of them just floated there and enjoyed the moment. 

   They didn’t have to talk, they could just enjoy the moment and let the ocean take them wherever. A happy sigh slipped his lips and for a moment, he closed his eyes and pulled her a little closer to his chest. If anyone told him this was how amazing it would be to be married to his best friend, he would have been married the minute he fell for her. 

   It was getting a bit later out, and when he felt his fingers start to shrivel up, he knew that it was time to call it a night. “Shit, I should have brought some towels out here.” He said with a laugh a she held onto her tightly. “Hold on.” Brock carried her out of the water and back onto the sand (honestly he felt like he was in a movie) and once he got there, he set her down and sighed happily. 

   “Do I still not get a hint on what my gift is?” He said with a chuckle as he shook as his hair out and handed her his shirt. “Just one hint, I’m not asking for too much.” 

    The night was coming to an end, no matter how much she wished it wouldn’t. The water seemed so calm at night. It was hard for her to ever get out or take her eyes off of it. A small squeal slipped from her lips as he swooped her off the ground. Of course she allowed him to carry her, though. Why would she ever want to protest that? Once her feet was on the ground, she began slipping back into her clothes and was thankful that none of their neighbors seemed to be out on the beach tonight.

    Soon as he mentioned his present, her eyes widened a bit. “Oh shit,” she said aloud, “your present! I need to go get it from my brother’s house.” Luckily her brother didn’t live too far from them at all – in fact they were practically in the same neighborhood.

     She held up a finger and put it over his lips as if to silence him. “No hints.” She removed her finger and placed a kiss on his lips then smiled. “I’ll go grab my keys and get your present real quick. You stay here. Go get comfy and I’ll be right back.”

[feelinvented]

xourdiariesx:

    “Because when you celebrate Valentine’s Day, your boyfriend gets you all these for free,” Olivia laughed as she took one of those chocolate covered strawberries that were lying in front of her. She wasn’t foo fond of those, but somehow, they tasted quite good. “But then again, you can never have too much of chocolate, can you?” 

     The girl had a point – that is, after all, why she used to love Valentine’s Day. “True,” she spoke with a mouthful and shrugged. “But I’d rather spend money than have a boyfriend.” It wasn’t entirely true, but there was something about February that left her quite cynical and bitter. “At the end of the day, I just want the chocolate. Because you’re right – there can never be enough.” Rory was addicted to sweets. There was no denying that, but she was thankful someone else was around to help her with it. “Please have some of this candy too…. I admittedly went overboard. And if you don’t help, I’ll just eat it all. Which sounds like a good idea to me in theory, but it isn’t.”

[feelinvented]

     “I used to love Valentine’s Day,” she told her friend as she picked up another chocolate covered strawberry. There in front of her laid multiple boxes of candy, another crate of chocolate covered strawberries, and heart shaped glasses for the hell of it. “But now I just love the day after. I got all of this stuff for 50% off the original price. Why even celebrate Valentine’s then?”

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   “You know, I feel the same way. Sometimes I just wake up and realize that I married not only my best friend, but the most beautiful woman in the world.” There were times where Brock caught himself just staring at her and getting lost in the moment because he felt so lucky to be living this life. Sure they had their bumps in the road, but right now there was nothing in their way and they could live their life however they wanted to. “Calling you my wife is by far one of the best things ever. When I’m taking to the guys I don’t even say Chey, I say my wife.” He said with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows. 

   As he held her close, he couldn’t help but to sigh happily and catch her eyes once again. “When I’m done with everything, can we do this every day?” Instead of spending his days at practice and lifting weights, he would much rather swim in the ocean with her and spend their days laying on the couch. All he wanted to do was spend a bit more time in their ed with her and enjoy those little moments instead of having to travel all the time. “We can eat so much pizza, skinny dip all the time, stay in bed all day, it’ll be nice for a change.” 

   He never really got the chance to relax, but thankfully after next season he would be able to take some much needed time off. “What do you say, Mrs. Hudson? Until that all happens, I have some tickets for a couple of my games if you wanna come. Maybe your brothers can come too, or your cousin. They’d have a fun time.” 

     His compliments always had her over the moon. It was something she’d never get used to, but she always believed him. He made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Despite her confidence in some areas in her life, she always battled with her low self-esteem – she was a contradiction. One minute she thought she could rule the world, and the very next she thought she was absolutely nothing. But Brock made her feel like she was everything.

     It was such a rare and wonderful feeling.

     “You’re sweet,” she mumbled as her fingers absentmindedly played with the back of his hair. Calling him her husband was both her favorite thing and yet a strange thing. Some days it really hadn’t hit her that she was married – something she assumed would never happened. But then some days, it’s as if she’s been married to him for years. Oh my husband is coming home from his game today. The words slipped her lips easily while in conversations with coworkers.

     “Sounds like a plan.” She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment as the waves carried them. “And that would be great. They would love to come. They practically beg me for tickets all the time.”

[vanessacarlysle]

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   There arms were wrapped tightly around one another, and as his skin pressed against hers he couldn’t help but to feel his smile widen even more. He was noticing lately that he was happier whenever he stayed at home. There was nothing he loved more than just rolling over and seeing her beautiful face, then laying back down at the end of the day right next to her. She was his life now, and whatever happened next in their lives he wanted to be there fully. He didn’t want to be in Hawaii sometimes and then in a whole other state, he finally wanted to be settled down. 

   Brock couldn’t help but to playfully roll his eyes as he pulled her a little closer and leaned his forehead against hers. “You know I don’t need a gift. Doing stuff like this is the best kind of gift anyone could get.” There wasn’t enough money in the world that could make him happy, but just doing something like this sent him over the moon. He didn’t mind just sitting in their underwear, on their couch, watching whatever movie they could find. “I just need you, that’s all.” 

   As he continued to float in the water, he looked back at the moon and the stars and how they reflected against the ocean. Everything was just so picture perfect and he was so glad that this night turned out great. “So how’s it feel to be a Hudson? I wish it was like being in a cool motorcycle gang or something, maybe we’ll all get jackets one day who knows.” He teased.  

     Although his words were sweet, she couldn’t help but to make a playful face in response. In all honesty, she felt the same way. She didn’t need a damn thing as long as he was around, but of course she had to tease him about it. “Eh. You have me for the rest of your life. Might as well get gifts when you can.” She loved surprising him with things just as much as he did for her. They were always treating each other, taking care of one another, and surprising each other. She supposed it was true love.

    She looked up at the stars and felt nostalgic thinking back to the night she forced him to watch a meteor shower with her. It was the beginning of everything, really. She just didn’t know it back then. As he spoke, she looked back at him with a smile playing on her lips. It felt like a damn honor to have his name. Most people assumed she’d keep her last name, but there was something so nice about knowing they were their own family now.

    “I mean, it’s no Sons of Anarchy, but I gotta say being a Hudson is pretty nice,” she spoke with a small laugh. “I had to sign something the other day and it’s so fun having to write Amanda Chey Hudson now. Feels unreal still.”

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   “It’s not that cold. Last time we did this it was freezing.” Brock said with a laugh as he slipped out of his festive boxers and tossed them to the side with the rest of his clothes. He could remember that night like it happened just yesterday. It was by the the most fun he had on New Years in a long time. He could remember how nervous he was about meeting her family and just hoping that everyone would like him, and by the end of the night he felt like he had known them forever. “I’ll warm you up.” He teased as he gave her a wink before heading for the water. 

   It was cold, but nowhere near as cold as it was on New Years. That was one of the things he loved about living in Hawaii, the weather was always warm so they could always head down to the beach. After going under, he popped his head back up and pushed his hair out of his face. The whole beach was empty, it was like they had it to themselves which was he was hoping for. Once she got in as well, he swam over and wrapped his arms around her waist with a grin. 

   “Are you having a nice Valentine’s Day?” Brock said with a smile as he floated in the water. It was different celebrating this married than dating, or at least he thought so. He wanted every day to feel like Valentine’s Day, which meant when this day actually came he had to go a bit overboard. “A bit different than last years, huh?” 

    After getting adjusted to the warm climate in Hawaii, even the simple chilly days felt cold to her. Plus, she was always dramatic. It was part of her charm – no matter how nonexistent that is. She watched him run off into the water, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it would always be this way. Would they always have that childlike spark, take off to go swimming together even when they were older with kids of their own? She hoped so. Considering she grew up with parents who acted exactly like that, she always secretly wanted that.

    Marrying your best friend is what gave you that.

    Once she slipped out of all her clothes, she took off running after him and embraced the chilly water. It wasn’t as bad as she imagined it’d be. Actually, it was kind of nice. She got her hair wet then smiled as Brock made his way over to her. Together, they didn’t hesitate to wrap their arms around one another. It was second nature.

    “Of course I am,” she told him with her arms around his neck. “My first Valentine’s Day as a Hudson. Gotta say it’s pretty nice.” She leaned in and closed the space between the two, planting a gentle kiss to his lips. “But it’s not over, you know. I still have your gift to give you.”

[feelinvented]

heroexxs:

   “Another thing for me to do in the off season, sounds like a plan to me.” Brock said with a grin as he finished his glass of wine and finished off his steak. Who knew what he would do with all this new time on his hands, but he knew he’d probably be spending most of that time at home. He was tired of traveling, he just wanted to be able to stay in one spot with the love of his life and not have a care in the world. Of course he’d try to do something to get his foot back in the hockey door, maybe coaching or something but that was in the far future. “We could even take cooking classes. How romantic would that be?” He knew it would be the two of them just messing around, but that’s what made everything even more fun. 

   Once the two of them were done with their meal, he got up from his seat and gave her a grin. “So… last one to the beach does the dishes.” And with that, he ran off. It was so nice to be in love with your best friend. The two of them could mess around, tell each other jokes, laugh until their stomachs started to hurt and sleep in the same bed every single day of their lives. That’s really all he wanted, and he knew that they would have so many moments like this when he was finally home full time. As much as he loved hockey, he had a new dream. He just wanted to spend the rest of his days on the beach with her and that was all. 

   When he reached the beach, he was really out of breath and took a seat on the sand in hopes of getting his breathing back to normal. “Shit… I’m really out of shape.” He said with a laugh before taking a look out at the ocean. The reflection of the stars and the moon was shown in the water and it was almost exactly like New Years at her parents. He could remember them jumping right into that cold water, then rushing back inside and taking that hot shower. Finally he got up and slipped his shirt off as well as his shorts, revealing Valentine’s Day boxers. “I had to go all out, pretty cool huh?” 

     “Romantic or it ends with us getting kicked out because we started a food fight,” she snickered. As they finished the food on their plates, as well as most of the candy, she was suddenly prompted with a challenge. The girl was notorious for becoming too competitive, even when it came to little spontaneous races like these. Soon as he took off, she wasted no time and ran right after him. “Cheater!” she yelled out to him, though she definitely was usually the one to take off running in mid sentences when it came to their races.

    Once the two reached the beach, which in the end it looked like more of a draw than a victory for either of them, she couldn’t help but laugh in response to his heavy breathing. Teasingly, she inhaled deeply as if to show off how easy it was for her to breathe. “Lungs of steel over here. All thanks to surfing all the time.” Before she could strip from her clothes, she noticed his boxers and laughed a bit more. She shook her head – only he would buy something like that. “Oh, so sexy.”

    She slipped out of her clothes then crossed her arms over her chest to warm herself up. “Why is it we always do this when it’s cold? It’s like we want to catch hypothermia.”