Love and Friendship

Hey I'm Jacob R and I write stories about anything and everything. I also write poems and especially love the ones you find in your friend's bathrooms. If you have any questions feel free to shoot me....an email at [email protected]

[feelthefriendship]

Buh dum bum ba dum pa!

[everypizza]

I’ve been putting these stickers

On payphones

Throughout the United States

To spread the word

Of my web presence.

So far

I haven’t noticed my stats increase.

I don’t think it’s working.

…

Do you want some?

Stickers I mean.

Message me. 

Or something 

aperfectcatch [at] gmail [dot] com

[feelthefriendship]

Hello. I'm Dr. Franklin Harold Zempkins the 3rd. I am a chimpanzee. Many people think me to be stupid but I am not. I know because I have Dr in front of my name. It's not easy for a monkey to become a dr. Especially since most people don't want a monkey operating on them. And the fact hat people don't think chimpanzees to be clean creatures. However we really are. In fact we are so clean that we even pick bugs out of each others hair when the other doesn't know they have a bug. The other day I was operating on a regular (its not good that hes a regular. It means something is wrong with his body) when I found a strange bug. Later research showed me it was a poisonous Lorgburk bug and in te area it was in it was sure to be fatal. The problem was how to tell him. I decided to just brake it to him. Not to mean, but not super gently either because then he would be much to shocked and then he could die of that. So I told him. He didnt answer so i was a bit confused because he is the chattiest person i know. Then I realized he had died while I was deciding how to tell him.

[feelthefriendship]

I am laughing Why? I do not know I laugh because it makes me happy I laugh because my dad will not let me go I laugh because no one Is laughing with me

[feelthefriendship]

So the other day I went and bought a pie. The salesman said "I'm sorry. We don't sell that kind if pie." I was confused because I had the pie right in my hands. And then I realized. He didn't sell it because it wasn't his to sell! That means it must be free! I took it home, ate it, watched TV. Then all if a sudden the cops blasted down the door. "I DIDNT DO IT!" I screamed. I actually had no idea what I didn't do. The cops yelled back, "We know you did it! The box is right there!" Box? What box? Then I realized: the pie box. But what about it?! So I screamed back "What's wrong with the pie?!" They told me that I stole it even though I knew perfectly well I did not. I even told them this. The said that the salesman saw me just walk out with the pie so I told them the real story. The cops said the pie was not free and I had to pay for it. I was sad but I did. In that predicament I made a new friend. The cop was a man my age and we both shared many interests. We liked pizza (mushroom sausage being both if our favorites), movies with suspense, murder, revenge, and white ninjas (Revenge of the Murderous White Ninja being #1), and Boggle (I'm number 4 in the club, he's #6 at his club). We then started having Pizza Movie Boggle nights every Tuesday (we would've done it Monday but he pointed out that Mondays suck and we don't want to have to ruin our Pizza Movie Boggle nights because of that!) On our 3rd week of Pizza Movie Boggle night, I learned his name was Bruce Wayne.

[feelthefriendship]

Last night i played with fire I played with fire but didn’t get burned I laughed at them all All of them who have ever said “Don’t play with fire. You might get hurt” HA! HA HA HA!

[feelthefriendship]

Frankly.Pitas is beautiful Beautiful as a nice ol' pie Everyone loves a pie A nice ol' beautiful pie Pie makes me happy Happy as Frankly.Pitas makes me

[feelthefriendship]

Love is like an apple A great big juicy red apple It makes you feel happy Happy as can be

[feelthefriendship]

Time passes, Ad friends may part, But a real friend, Always stays close at heart