The Ravenclaw just couldn’t help it, but he had to smile on her stammering. Seeing her that nervous was kind of rare, yet he wasn’t too worried. He assumed actually that she wanted to apologize for not being there on Valentine’s Day or something like that. But his smile dropped at once when she reached out for him, he reached out for her as well, but then pulled back. Right there something crashed and he got the bad feeling something was wrong. But everything went rather okay in the past time, he thought, I didn’t do a thing, nothing happened! John refused to believe that she was here to tell him that something was wrong and picked up his smile again and even chuckled weakly at her attempt to lighten the mood.
Again his heart dropped now. What did she need to spit out? Okay, now it was sure something was wrong and he started to get nervous. John definitely didn’t like this situation, he didn’t like anything bad right now actually. His mother had written in her last letter that his Dad wasn’t coming home sober all too often. John worried about his Mum and Emma already enough because of that, what if his dad would hit them? Things like that rushed through his mind all the time, he didn’t need any more drama with Felicity. Enough people he cared about were in some sort of trouble.
“Once they realized that I really had feelings for you,” An unexpected euphory and happiness suddenly dwelled up in John and a huge smile spread on his face on these words; but as she continued to talk his expression was clouded. The smile vanished and his brows furrowed. Her words felt numb and he didn’t want to hear these things. John knew about that, about how her friends and housemates disliked him, but he wasn’t aware that they hated him enough to even start small fights. And again that wave of odd, inappropriate happiness when she told him that she actually had strong feelings for him. Yet that didn’t change the gist. The reason of her visit was to tell him, that they couldn’t see each other anymore. That she would break up with him.
After she had ended John couldn’t really answer, he only stood there for a moment, his mind blank, his expression confused. After a couple of times already opening his mouth to say something but just ending up with closing it again he eventually answered, “Okay, so what you are trying to tell me is, I really damn like you but there’s no way that we can be together or anything, right?” He finally looked at her, the whole time he hadn’t even glanced at the Slytherin. “Okay, right.” Again he kept quiet for a couple of moments. Running his fingers through his hair, which was only a big mess in the end, pacing.
“This is a fucking awful situation okay.” John said, turning back to her. “Because the thing is, that I have those strong feelings for you too. And I was disappointed that I couldn’t spend Valentine’s Day with you, then you come here and I’m all like ‘oh nice maybe she wants to make up for it, just spend some time together or something’ but instead, you come here and call it off.” Without noticing John’s voice had risen to a way higher volume, he didn’t want to shout but the whole thing just made him so angry for no actual reason that he needed to let it out. “Isn’t that ridiculous?” He was back to a normal volume now and couldn’t even bite back the bitter laughter after that. Was this just a bad joke or was this reality?