Felinis's Art

This is my art blog where I do art. Often NSFW or Horror but hey that's just me. You can follow my main blog @felinisfeloney

[felinisdoesart]

i keep looking at the well and begging it to be empty and to have nothing and yet i also crack open the bones and beg to drink the marrow....

[felinisdoesart]

Apple has a little brother named Little Strawberry. He likes to wear his big sibling's hair accessories. He's very smoll and likes acorns and bugs

[felinisdoesart]

didn't turn out as cute as i wanted it to but i've been thinking about bunnies at hot springs

Apple having a good soak

[felinisdoesart]

[felinisdoesart]

not okay tonight but nothing i say will help

[felinisdoesart]

we all love a good villain. Her name is Kalamity

[felinisdoesart]

Apple and her little brother Strawberry sketches

[felinisdoesart]

snapdragon

[felinisdoesart]

just magical girls sketches in the backlog that i've been slowly working

[felinisdoesart]

i've been making magical girls in the background

[felinisdoesart]

Meet Apple. They use all pronouns and they're a sweet precious bean that enjoys picking flowers and fresh fruits. Also setting things on fire ❤️

[felinisdoesart]

A phrase I kept landing on as I rotted away. I ran away from myself because I hated him. I still hate him. But I'm him. So I guess what I mean to say is:

you already took it. so take it

[felinisdoesart]

All I want is to die. But I literallly can't afford it

[felinisdoesart]

So in typical fml of course this would happen my computer decided to just stop working. And so now i have to take it in and get it fixed. I can't afford this and I cant afford a new computer. I can't even afford lunch. I've been drinking soy sauce packets from the stores sushi display for half a year now. This of course followed my parents calling everything i own worthless junk and throwing things at me. Getting the therapy putty I use for carpal tunnel everywhere because no one listens to me when I say its sitting in that one specific spot for a reason and I never borrowed a container because you'd just yell at me if i did. More getting called worthless. More if it wasn't for the cosign on your student loans we'd kick you out into the streets already. More you're just as worthless as this junk. Oh and you need therapy because your room isn't absolutely spottless. Not to mention I might lose like basically everything I've been working on for the past 3 years. So yay my entire art portfolio gone. Again

[felinisdoesart]

hello please meet my son. his name is Riven. He’s from the book I’m writing. He is an absolute idiot with no sense of self preservation who is just so stupid. And yes that is a draped wrapped leather jacket that ties in the back. These are all rough as fuck but he’s just a beautiful dumb rich boy. Do not let his stern expression fool you. he’s an idiot and a goober with resting bitch face.... because i have a type okay. And it is smug

[felinisdoesart]

as depressing as it is to say i kinda have had to come to terms since college that my dreams aren’t happening. I’m never making it animation. I’m never going to be an artist. Mostly because i fucked up my body so hard in 2020 that i can’t work even a normal 9-5 in retail without constant pain and art is like... really out of the picture. Like.... i had to relearn how to draw over the past few years. I can’t be an animator or an artist so college was a waste of money. I learned i can’t promote myself and be someone who gets money via patreon or whatever because well.... i suck at it but also the cult of personality needed for online artist is awful for me mentally. I suffer from paranoia to begin with so the internet does not help. i don’t do anything besides post on tumblr and shit anymore and i am in a singular discord server with like 4 people. like i’ve settled on the fact my life is going to be both mediocre and unfufilling and it’s fine. like it is. 

because mentally i cannot handle what it takes to become someone who makes money off their art. physically i can’t handle the strain. and finacially there is no hope for me ever being above the poverty line. so like dreams are lies, never aspire above your current wealth, and being ambitious and friendly only hurts you in the long term, talking over the internet only makes you feel worse.

this is what the internet and fandom has taught me. i don’t even write fanfic anymore

[felinisdoesart]

it's been over 2 years since I did any 2d animation for real. it's not much and it's choppy and full of flaws... but i did it. I made a thing