Well, Iāve been a father for two months now.Ā
I donāt feel that much different. Not like I was lead to believe I would.
People talk like they instantly became a different person when their child was born. Who knows, maybe I did undergo a metamorphosis of sorts, I just donāt feel that different.Ā
Iām still me. With all my needs and desires. I still like playing video games. I still go to work every day. The lawn still needs to be mowed and thereās still a surplus of things that need to be unpacked in the garage from when we moved in.
I see three main differences from the way things were before:
1. There is another being living in my house. (Two if you count myĀ āsister-in-lawā)
2. I get much less sleep.
3. The relationship between me and my girlfriend is decidedly different
Another critter in my house is fine. Sure she needs a lot of attention, constant supervision, and food, but sheās beautiful and sheās my baby, which makes up for those things. And itās not like the dogs donāt basically need the same thing.Ā They are constantly demanding pets, playtime, and cuddles.Ā If we leave them unsupervised thereās a good chance theyāll get into the trash or the compost pile. They also need to be fed twice a day and given snacks.Ā
Sure, a baby is not a dog, but at this age, she seems like little more than an adorable little pet that needs to be fed every two hours and poops her pants.
The lack of sleep is bearable I suppose. There were many points in my life where I would stay up too late partying or playing video games. Itās not like sacrificing sleep is new, but at least now Iām doing to for something other than my own pleasure. The worst part is being tired at work, but thatās why the gods invented and distributed caffeine across the globe I suppose.
Now the relationship, thatās what affects my mood the most. I appreciate harmony. I understand there will be discord at times, but in a relationship in which our goal is to take care of each other and this little baby, it means a great deal to me that the relationship is healthy.
Iāve been in toxic relationships in the past and I donāt want our relationship to go down that road. That being said, I think weāre navigating the waters alright. Sometimes it feels like the ship is going to capsize, and weāve definitely ended up in the water a few times. But there are plenty of times when weāre able to sit back, crack a beer, and enjoy the ride.
So, looking at is this way, the things in my life have certainly changed and Iām sure they have changed me as a result. Maybe I donāt really notice because itās a gradual change. Grains of sand falling from the top of an hour glass slowly filling the bottom.Ā
Here I am, two months in and surviving. I just wonder what the next two months will bring.
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