Don't forget

Clumsy, drunk, gluttonous, and glamorous!

[femboy-fever]

[femboy-fever]

Sorry, the gay cruise was turned away from Turkish waters, so they went to EGYPT? FUCKING EGYPT???

[femboy-fever]

No spoilers, but I've seen a couple of the new Pals, and they are so freaking cute. I adore them.

[femboy-fever]

FUCK. FELL ASLEEP. 1.0. DOWNLOADING NOW.

[femboy-fever]

I see a handsome fat man. I comment, "OP, I think I'm in love with you." Start reading other comments. They are talking about having encountered the handsome fat man before.

Apparently he posts pictures of himself so people will insult him. He has a humiliation kink.

Never speaking to anyone online ever again.

[femboy-fever]

I hate kiwifarms as much as the next tranny faggot, hope it gets nuked for good someday, but just because the folks on kiwifarms hate someone doesn't mean you have to suck that person's dick. Sometimes farmers do post about legitimately evil people.

I swear, some of y'all would be out here defending Hitler if kiwifarms decided they hated him.

[femboy-fever]

Even if you do not have a gambling addiction yourself, do not download and play gacha games or any games that involve gambling. Don't do it.

By downloading and playing these games, you are supporting an industry that predates on gambling addicts and people with poor impulse control, who are often young and/or mentally ill. You are signaling to these companies that what they're doing is okay. You are putting revenue in their pockets.

Stop it.

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[blxck-coffee-dad]

“yeah no” is one of the best phrases in contemporary English.

[infertilityidol]

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[knightofleo]

😾

[jackdawsfavorite]

bonus

[avoidbeing]

An obsidian mirror found at Catalhoyuk, 8,000 years old

[old-flesh]

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

[grimeclown]

Cmon man

[passionpeachy]

I think aliens would find astronauts charming with their stocky limbs and helmets that look like a big shiny eyeball. I think they would own marketable plushies of them or perhaps a labubu style keychain

[barbaricjester]

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

[catboymuqing-moving]

sims 4 patch notes will be like “fixed an issue where harvesting carrots caused toddlers to explode” then you load the game and all your sims are bald

[femboy-fever]

Frothing at the fucking mouth waiting for 10 p.m. so I can play Palworld 1.0. Unfollow me now, this is the only thing I'll be talking about for the next six months.