On "Gentle Femdom" and why it's a way to miscontextualise GNC sexuality
and I'm truly baffled about how, or why this shit is considered kink.
70% of it are just affection that would be perfectly normal the other way around - finding one's partner cute, wanting to protect, hold and spoil them, compliment them, be affectionate. I find it deeply fucked up how it's supposed to be "a fetish" when it's a woman towards a man? I see two things wrong about that - one of them is the degree to which gnc people are othered, to the point men who want to be found adorable by their partners, be vulnerable and admired for something more than masculinity are considered perverts. women willing to be openly affectionate in more gnc ways and ways that serve something more than upholding, uplifting and celebrating male dominance, who want to let their male partner be vulnerable around them, are also considered perverts. the only way straight couples are allowed to experience affection is via a strict framework designed to celebrate masculinity in men and encourage vulnerability (which men exploit) in women. suffocating. a man who isn't constantly insecure and obsessing about his masculinity, and especially a feminine man, is considered deviant, inherently. a feminine man who wants to be loved as he is - found cute and desirable for his gnc traits - is seen as a pervert, a kinkster, a fetishist, a deviant; so is the woman who is willing to love him. then, another wrong thing is the objectification and sexualisation of women - to the point where simply being affectionate with her boyfriend outside of the "socially approved" het framework is seen as inherently sexual. indeed, even a kink performance. I think this approach to intimacy is truly awful, obviously unhealthy.
the other 30% of the picture is in majority fetishisation of women's financial independance and the concept of women having agency in a relationship. even the fact she earns more than him becomes a part of a sexual performance or scene. that's how men cope with women being "better" at anything - they make it into something that serves them, caters to them, satisfies their needs.
on top of it there's weird AGP elements such as the "good girl" part. the woman becomes completely fetishised - the man who created this picture stealthly works in his other fetishes and phrases that turn him on. they become part of a sexual performance along with the female agency and financial independance. the woman is, of course, traditionally feminine too, because the gender nonconformity in the picture is up for consumption; not allowed to exist for itself - there's only as much of it as needed to get off.
ngl, this picture is making me and the other mod feel like we we’re peverted for wanting affection in less "masculine" ways and a more equal relationship with a woman. that's what it does - make us feel absolutely awful for being gnc.
I do loathe the whole concept of "GFD" ("gentle femdom") for this very reason. I hate the people who push onto us the notion that our desires, which would be considered perfectly healthy if we were women, are perversion and that we *should* want to objectify women to uphold the patriarchal dynamic - if we refuse to be dominant masculine men, the "next best thing" we can do in the patriarchy is exist as perverts who subvert female agency and gender nonconformity into a product for consumption. I also hate the men who fell for it, and cumbrains who naturally do not have gnc desires, but are coming from the point of fetishising women's agency and further alienating gnc people. I feel like I've been alienated and demonised enough.
so many people fall for this, as regina says, and even may play into it from their own gnc desires, not stopping to think critically why their own natural way of existing must be equated to belonging to a sub-community which considers the harming of their partners to be a good thing and a norm. they wont fucking think for just a second why their pretty neutral and typically “sfw” desires are to be considered inherently sexual and kink, and it ends up so often with them perpetuating this standard to no end. i want to have sympathy for the people caught in this but when they perpetuate this mentality so much i simply find distaste, especially when it falls so often as well to misogynistic places of fetishising a woman not being totally dependent on them like they “should” be in a patriarchy, or even going so far as to sexualise anything a female does so much that they will even consider her cuddling them a sex act. this is simply a restructuring of millennia old misogyny combined with a societal hate and othering of gender nonconformity and it is appalling
