Good morning Gurl, I'm a 30 year old rugby-built stud and I'd love to find a gurl all of my own. That said, I'd love your thoughts/advice on where I should be looking. Many thanks -
My inclination would be to tell you to stop looking because that rugby-boy-loving gurl is right here, but that would be a bit selfish of me (and you’re probably not even in NYC, which is probably the main roadblock, honestly).
fag4fiction's magnificent post actually got me thinking about this. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that there is, unfortunately, no magical adoption shelter full of femme/sub pussybois and Masc/Dom Studs where we can all just go and fall in love with one and pet them and take one home and call it a day.
You should be looking everywhere. Studs and pussybois are everywhere but, sadly, we’re all in disguise. Most femme pussybois aren’t walking around advertising the fact that they want to be a Man’s princess, and most Studs aren’t telling everyone they know about how they want a pretty, submissive thing to love and cherish and fuck.
To that effect, something I’ve realized and that I now propose to all my readers, is that we have to be open, and we have to be brave. We have to be willing to put ourselves out there and be just a little risky, in online dating and, most importantly, in real life. And as unfair as it might sound, Studs bear a bit more of the burden on this. Remember, us pussybois are still living with residual shame, uncertainty, and lack of validation about our identities, our personalities, our looks.
What we all need to do is constantly test the waters with people that we find attractive, and, above everything, be as clear as we can be. STUD: Say that you spot a boy you find attractive at a bar, and you suspect he might be a femme/sub. Do something that is so clearly Masc/femme that the tone is set and you’ll easily be able to gauge, based on his reaction, whether he is a femme/sub. For instance, walk over, introduce yourself, and confidently say “could I buy you a drink?” Such a simple thing to do, yet it automatically creates a dynamic. Apply this to all situations in life. Did a potential pussyboi at the supermarket drop something? Scramble to pick it up for him. Hold doors open for pussybois. Say “after you,” with a flirty, yet warm smile. Is a potential pussyboi struggling to carry something? Lift something? Offer your help without being intimidating, "I'm more than happy to help a guy like you," say with a smile.
[Sidebar: For the love of god, smile. We find your masculinity attractive and very intimidating. Smiling sweetly and warmly will make our concerns melt away. Seriously, practice this smile in the mirror and be ready to use it. It can make all the difference. It is SO important.]
PUSSYBOI: Your job is simply to react positively to these kinds of situations. Yes, it’s unusual and surprising to finally be treated the way we’re supposed to be treated by Men, but if you want to send the correct messages, be graceful and thankful and receptive (HA! Get it?) to this kind of treatment. That sends Studs the message that their Masculine overtures are welcome.
It’s not even a one-time thing. Give a potential femmeboi or Stud time, because it might take a bit for them to admit to you their true nature and the type of relationship they’re truly looking for. If he’s giving you mixed signals, date a little and get to know him, eventually you’ll figure it out, and you’ll either move on, or feel comfortable enough to reveal yourself and express what you want.
Hell, some pussybois and Studs (especially Studs) don’t even know that they want Masc/femme relationships because they’ve never even thought anything like that is a possibility. If there’s a Man/boy you really like and he seems to lean the way you want him to lean, allow him some time to get acquainted with and used to the idea.
I guess my point is that, for people like us, who want Masc/femme relationships, it’s going to be trial and error, as frustrating as that is. I’m sure there’s a ton more that could be said about this topic, and I don’t claim to be an authority. I invite any readers who might have further thoughts to message me about them so we can have a chat, and maybe I’ll compile and post some of the best tips I receive on how and where to go about finding our princes and princesses :).
I hope you’re well, and I hope this helped answer your question, 30yo Rugby Stud!
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