shhh, Im not here

21+ The power of horny compels me and my criminal little slut fingers

[cykelops]

I think phalloplasties aren’t popular because they have a name that sits strangely on the tongue so for marketing purposes im thinking a rebrand to big megadick enhancer 9000

[z0mbie-puff]

Puff save me Im so close to gnawing my heart monitor off like a rabid squirrel. Please. Gnawing it off as we speak.

(Who's keeping me from gnawing it off)

🐬

Heart monitors do not taste good do not gnaw it off.

[femmeseamonster]

Update: the reason it was so itchy was a actually an allergic reaction 🧍‍♂️

[local-cryptid-has-anger-issues]

chat suggested, i did :)

[z0mbie-puff]

For yall Simmons fuckers with transmasc headcanons and robococks. I want your opinions on this.

Cum lube exists. I want him to experience his first creampie with that stuff and he’s so embarrassed about it. (It tastes so bad do not suck his dick if hes using that stuff for the love of god no matter how fun you think itd be it is so foul tasting)

I would blow the robo dick but I wanna chose what flavor condom I roll over it before I do. The chocolate flavored condoms taste like ass. Banana is better tbh. But yes, let's give him his first robo dick creampie Simmons fuckers who love him as transmasc. LET'S FUCK THE NERD!

[flygoing]

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

[chastittie]

i trusted you

[flygoing]

Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people

[four-leafed-queer-gal-deactivat]

THE ORIGINAL?!?!?!?!?!

[z0mbie-puff]

north holding you in his arms while maine fucks you doggy style… whispering in your ear about how good you’re doing

Hands on your cheeks keeping you spread open from Maine too... hough..... telling you how well you're taking him and to enjoy it.... hnnnnnnnnnn

[z0mbie-puff]

But also yes hello fellow florida fuckers!!

I offer Florida drawing on you while youre strapped to the bed and cant move

The slow precise drag of the pen/space sharpie over your skin, the way he presses close when he’s focusing on the details in a certain part— so close every exhale warms up your skin as he presses neat lines of ink into such a small spot it feels like he’ll make the skin raw just from the repetition

If you don’t squirm for that, he’ll give you a kiss, but you can’t get greedy. He’s still working after all

It’s equal parts admiring your form and testing your patience

If you’re good, well, of course he’s going to reward you for sitting so prettily for Daddy

He likes watching the way his artwork moves with you as you bounce on his cock too so it’s a win win really

~ 🐊

Man. I already thought about Florida with tattoos but this is just art right here. Holy shit Florida fuckers come get yall food it's hot and ready (much like his dick-)

[z0mbie-puff]

Fucking the freelancer men going in order of smallest to biggest dick and obviously Maine is last.

(Worlds longest Maine prepping session)

🐬

All the men on the leaderboard fucking you to prep you for Maine but they won't let you come so by the time Maine gets a turn you're desperate and whining into the sheets. He's gonna make it SO good for you too. Ugh. I bet they did the same thing to Wash too.

[z0mbie-puff]

Puff save me Im so close to gnawing my heart monitor off like a rabid squirrel. Please. Gnawing it off as we speak.

(Who's keeping me from gnawing it off)

🐬

Heart monitors do not taste good do not gnaw it off.

[wildcaughtcod]

pick your poison.

guilting you? Simmons, Donut, Doc, maybe Tucker

distractions? definitely Tucker and Grif, probably Wash

physically holding you to get you to stop? North, York, Maine

strapping you down and leaving it at that? Locus, Grey

[femmeseamonster]

Locus and grey are gonna strap me down for 3 days 😭? No pls ill behave

[msbarrows]

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

[z0mbie-puff]

Puff save me Im so close to gnawing my heart monitor off like a rabid squirrel. Please. Gnawing it off as we speak.

(Who's keeping me from gnawing it off)

🐬

Heart monitors do not taste good do not gnaw it off.

[femmeseamonster]

BUT IT'S SO ITCCHHYYYY

[z0mbie-puff]

I need either Maine or Caboose to just. Lay on top of me. Just full on crushing me into the mattress. Not even in an inherently sexual way. I just need the pressure. Like a weighted blanket but x10. Squish me.

I need the same but with North. Or maybe Locus. mmm..

[z0mbie-puff]

Taking 0.5 camera photos of everyone.

Ya know. The one where you put it to their forehead looking down and it makes em look stupid? Yeah.

No one is gonna be mature about this. They are all laughing and making fun of each other and shit. Carolina tries to be normal but Wash eggs her on a little until she finally snorts and says the pictures look terrible.

[femmeseamonster]

Running up to South while she's trying to mind her own business and snapping this before skedaddling

[z0mbie-puff]

Florida with a daddy kink is currently infesting my brain oigjfjffjffjt

I feel like he tries to pull it even out of the bedroom. He does you a favor and he's like "what do you say?" And if you don't respond with "thank you daddy" he'll punish you later

Sighhhhh

Waiting with that smile on his face and when you decide to be a brat and not do as you're supposed to he just smiles more. You play a dangerous line with Florida. But fuck the punishments are so good that you have to act up sometimes just for fun.

[z0mbie-puff]

Puff hear me out. Anal. Anal with Maine. Mainal. You will need so much help to get ready and it will still hurt and you will still beg him to keep going-- 🦭

If you like the sting he might prep you a little less but most of the time Maine has to be on top of prepping someone. He probably brings you into and fingers you in the morning, gives you a pretty big plug once he's fit like two or three of his own fingers in you and tells you to keep it in the ENTIRE day before he even thinks about fucking you that night but you see him adjust the semi in his fatigues while he stares at you like he already wants to sink his teeth in you.... Fuck, he might even bring in someone else to fuck you open before he fucks you that night too. I love the idea that Maine makes someone else fuck you in order to prep you.

[z0mbie-puff]

a rookie freelancer who’s fluent in sign language so maine is all over her

Dirty talking each other in sign language and the only one who knows what either of you is saying is Wash and he is beet red the whole damn time

[z0mbie-puff]

wash wash wash somno wash wash wash pegging wash wash wash wa- *GUNSHOT*

I love Wash getting comfortable enough to bring up that he'd like to be in the receiving end of things. Don't get me wrong he's a great giver but when he gets intimate enough with you that he's trusting you to take charge... oh...

AND HE'S SO DIFFERENT WHEN HE'S BOTTOMING.

Top Wash. Bottom Wash is a whole different breed.

When you brush his prostate he moans louder. He gets flushed more easily overall. When you have him bouncing on that strap there's something a little desperate in the way he spreads his legs or asks for it faster-

If you haven't guessed by now I think about making him cry tears of overstimulation on a strap because I'm just LIKE THAT but-

Oh somno Wash pegging. He lubes and stretches himself before bed. Tries to relax enough to sleep because it's not good somno unless he's asleep. But there's the deliciousness in knowing he was good and prepped himself for you before going to sleep when you get your hands on him. Of course you wanna freshen up that lube (be generous now) and test to see if he's ready for that toy- please peg him with a big one. He might wake up in the middle but he sounds beautiful hoarse and moaning. Mmm.