TAKE YOU.

ꜰᴇɴ'ʜᴀʀᴇʟ ㅤ enansal.

[fen-harela]

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FEN - HAREL is a privately - run, canon compliant & headcanon based portrayal of SOLAS, as he is found in bioware's DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION and its upcoming sequel, DRAGON AGE: DREAD WOLF. this blog is 21+, and uses the beta editor & xkit rewritten. established on may 27, 2023. all non - roleplay blogs will be blocked. affiliated with @arborvye.

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[arborvye]

the first thing that she sees is green, the part of her that longed for nature at every edge filling with satisfaction. skyhold is stunning — there is nothing like it anywhere, and it felt like home for what she needed it for. but stone and candles hold nothing to the way the forest looks with veilfire in hand, and seeing the roving grass ahead of her as she steps from the eluvian has her heart soaring. a breeze off the ocean comes through, picking up her hair and catching on her neck. a breath in. her eyes close.

there's no turning back, there is no back to turn to. there is no skyhold, the inquisition is being destroyed by those who did not fight in it, there is no lavellan clan. she has no arm. what is there even left? she holds his hand, listens as he tells her about the island, preens when he calls her vhenan. creators, how she has missed his voice, missed his touch, him. a small hum, “ it's beautiful, solas. ” they speak only in elvhen, and there's something so comforting about the way it rolls between them, like leaves on a tree, or dough in the hand; soft and smooth with erosion, rounded and full. she had tried so hard years ago to learn it from him, and frustration got the better of her; she sees why he never gave up, because the outcome was worth the months of practice, and what was missing came easily after the well. her eyes open, “ i adore it. ” vhen'ara smiles up at him. no, there's no going back — she does not want to. he picked this place with her in mind, he continued to think of her after he left. eyes traverse as they walk through the field, the open air, the salt; it's not the forest, but it's just as good, different. perhaps she needs different.

maybe it is not different that she's craving. skyhold felt like home when he was there, and that feeling quickly dwindled at his departure. her clan had never stayed in one place for very long, and she had attributed the wilting love for her fortress as merely cabin fever. something clicks for her though, that perhaps it hadn't been the stone and the candlelight, but rather just his presence, an eidolon in the hallways, in her quarters, at her table. as they come upon the house, vhen'ara is hit with that same feeling again: it didn't have to be skyhold, it didn't have to be haven, it just had to be him. it's still far off, but she can see the wall - less structure, exposed to the elements and any passersby. it feels vulnerable, and open, and some basal thrill runs through her blood at it. that brazen wolf. the dalish did not get everything wrong, it seems.

he reaches a hand for her face, and she turns to look up at him. “ i'm not going anywhere, vhenan. i will be here every step of the way, to help you however i can for as long as i can. you are my home, solas. wherever you are is where i want to be. ” vhen'ara catches his motion, follows through and moves forward to meet his kiss, the hand that held his previously now settling on his jaw. she gains a surge of excitement, of something brave in her — that same feeling as before, the hunger for him, the need to devour — and drags her hand down his chest, fingers playing at the fabric as she deepens their kiss, if only for a moment. she pulls back, looking up at him through eyes that are surely darkened with want, a playful smile on her lips. “ the wards, i want to watch you. i've always . . . enjoyed watching you cast magic. ”

[fen-harela]

it takes everything in him not to entirely devour her then and there. NO, NOT HERE. SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN SOME OPEN FIELD. there should be candles, there should be warmth and an intimacy that their new home would provide. HE WAITED YEARS FOR THIS. he could wait another hour. it won't kill him. instead of succumbing to his urges, solas pays attention to what vhen'ara says, what he's waited for her to say and what he's wanted to say to her. “ i feel the same, vhenan. ” he murmurs against her lips, fingers slithering back into her hair as he smiles down at her. what an odd coincidence that her name was so similar to this term of affection that their people had. he was certain that her name was derived from it — BUT REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENED, WHETHER HE USED HER NAME OR THIS TERM OF ENDEARMENT, IT WOULD BE ABUNDANTLY CLEAR OF HOW HE FELT FOR HER.

i've always enjoyed watching you cast magic. it spurs pride in his chest, makes him smile widely as he steals one last kiss from her before starting the thing that he's assuming will become routing — HIS STAFF IS NOT NEEDED FOR THIS. his hands start to glow a soft green, and a similar color momentarily fills the air, disappearing as his hands motion slowly downwards. this is ancient elvhen magic, something that cannot be touched by another, EVEN IF THEIR PLACE OF SANCTUARY IS SOMEHOW TRAIPSED UPON BY SOMEONE WHO WISHES TO STOP THEM, JOIN THEM, OR DO THEM HARM. it will be a sanctuary, and solas will see to that himself.

“ quickly, step inside. ” he motions for her to join him, just mere inches from where she was before. then, he repeats the same action from before — except this time, he raises his hands, and the similar green sheen returns, raising with his hands as he encloses them inside their safe place. their safe place, he thinks, quickly reaching for vhen'ara's hand again, all too happy to lead her to their new home. “ remind me to show you how to do that and i will. ” he whispers against her cheek, squeezing her hand as they walk.

despite the fact that he's not a builder by any means, solas is happy with the physical structure he's made. OPEN WALLS, AS TO LET THE BEAUTY AND STRENGTH OF NATURE IN. shelves, with tomes and various other books resting side by side, neatly organized. a large bed, one ideal for the sleep he did in order to walk the fade. HE HAD ENOUGH OF HIDING IN CAVES. HE WAS FEN'HAREL. a palace to fit his title, or something like that. “ what's mine is yours. feel free to decorate or add on as you see fit. ” he smiles, THE VISION OF VHEN'ARA IN THE HOME HE BUILT WITH HER IN HIS MIND WAS ALMOST TOO MUCH TO BEAR. “ i still can't quite believe you're here. i've dreamed of this day since the moment i parted from you. ”

[arborvye]

DON'T BE KIND TO IT. HONEY DON'T FEED IT, IT WILL COME BACK. LAVELLAN, BY SEFFIE & SOLAS, BY BLYTHE.

[wilsonjacket]

remade my dragonborn at @aldovah if u are interested 🤗

[mcflymemes]

ASSASSIN'S CREED III PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the video game, adjust as necessary

we never took them seriously. maybe we should have.

i'm getting ahead of myself.

we've been fighting them for thousands of years.

i've seen the truth.

it holds the power to change everything.

there's only so much we can do.

if we can't find a way to stop it, these next few weeks will probably be our last.

it worked. we think. we hope.

we're here. let's go.

you must find the key.

here we go again.

do you hear us?

you collapsed and entered into a fugue state.

you weren't in any danger.

i know what i'm looking for, by the way. it's a key.

i'd like to run a couple of quick tests.

have you seen it before?

my father brought me here as a child.

on to business then.

the stairs are watched. you'll need to find another way up.

you should have come to me.

for what it's worth, i'm sorry.

that's why we've called you here.

i am yours to command.

well, then i'd best be on my way.

my research has been stolen. without it, i'm of no use to you.

i'll see if i can't speed things up.

we need to find a way inside.

i believe i've found the solution to our problem.

we'll attack on my signal.

i made a promise to you, [name], one i intend to keep.

the sooner we're done, the sooner we can get out of this cold.

it does not engender peace to cut your way to resolution.

if we applied the sword more liberally and more often, the world would be a better place than it is today.

now i've upheld my part of the bargain, i expect that you will honor yours?

you seem disappointed.

you have shown me great kindness, [name]. thank you.

really? that's your response? it's like dealing with a six year old.

i sense my words cause pain.

do you even know what that symbol represents?

come on. i've got something to show you.

very well. i'll train you.

you're also going to need a new name.

what's true and what is aren't always the same.

you'll be happy to hear there's actually good news for once.

it's silly for us to go back and forth like this.

we cannot give up our home.

do you have a name? do you know who is responsible?

time will tell if you speak the truth.

why are you here? has something happened?

you should have heeded my warning.

perhaps you'll respond better to the sword.

are you threatening us?

i thought it might bring clarity or instill a sense of accomplishment. but all i feel is regret.

such sacrifices must never come lightly.

all of them must be dealt with in turn.

you speak the words, but do you believe them?

takes a true monster to do something like this.

every day i wait, more will suffer.

many who should've died today now live because of you.

we do the best we can with what we've got.

you wield your blade like a man, but your mouth like a child.

there are more important things at stake here.

i do what is right. no more. no less.

i don't even see a stall in here. what if i had to take a dump?

please just mute the microphone if you do.

life is not a fairy tale, and there are no happy endings.

in your haste to save the world, take care you don't destroy it!

our interests are aligned.

perhaps some time together might do us good.

i can kill you now if you prefer.

would you like me to come along and hold your hand, perhaps?

why the change of heart? where is this coming from?

you oppose tyranny. injustice. these are just symptoms. their true cause is human weakness.

you have said so much... but you have shown me nothing.

tell me of your latest exploits.

you have not come this far to throw it all away over misplaced sentiment.

there is nothing more to discuss.

i should have stayed.

now you must hide it.

what once was shall be again.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY FENRIS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age ii

you should really post some guards outside, considering all the trouble you get into.

always a pleasure.

how much do you wish to test that luck of yours?

it seems you have won the day. well done.

why must you go on about this?

i can do that, if you wish.

i am alone.

is this going anywhere?

do you want to guess what color my underclothes are again?

you’re squandering something you don’t understand.

you do not like your name?

i felt like a fool. i thought it better if you hated me.

nobody asks for their fate.

oh. that. it’s… a talent.

it was better than anything i could have dreamed.

do not make light of this. leaving was the hardest thing i’ve ever done.

whatever you need, i am ready to assist.

the true character of any city is found among its poor.

i enjoy following you.

i didn’t come here to burden you further.

we have never discussed what happened between us three years ago.

is there no one else who has your attention?

you wound my pride with such accusations.

break their heart, and i will kill you.

you keep staring at me. is it my eyes again?

you are more naive than i thought.

did i hear correctly?

that is my hope as well.

i don’t want your pity.

i needed to be alone.

that night… i remember your touch as if it were yesterday.

i shouldn’t trouble you with this. my problems are not yours.

how is it you get into these situations so often?

you did the right thing. many would turn a blind eye.

you do not want to know the answer to that.

i don’t know. it’s just something people say.

you have an entire story written in your head already, don’t you?

a shame that you are going to die, no?

i should have asked for your forgiveness long ago. i hope you can forgive me now.

from what i gather, you like a lot of things.

you wish to do this here? in front of everyone?

i’ve never spoken about what happened to anyone.

why are you watching me like that?

i remain at your side.

i may not get a chance to say this again.

nothing could be worse than living without you.

thank you for asking me to come along.

perhaps this is what it means to have a friend.

i suggest keeping your distance.

if there is a future to be had, i will walk gladly into it at your side.

we need to stop and rest when we’ve a moment.

this ground is cursed. only wretched or ignorant souls would linger here.

i cannot imagine what it must be like to lose your family. anything i could say would be insufficient. i’m sorry.

i have never allowed anyone too close.

forget i said anything.

meeting you was the most important thing that ever happened to me.

it’s so wonderful having my personal business as someone else’s sport.

well… at least i’m not dead.

you were never ordered to kill?

does it bother you? should i stop?

promise me you won’t die.

do not bare your heart to me, unless you would have me rip it out.

is that a compliment of an insult?

do you intend to go after me, then?

it is always good to be at your side.

thanks for getting rid of them.

i imagine you imprisoned them?

you have my thanks.

i am yours, as always.

the smug sense of superiority does give you away.

you caught them, then?

there you are. were you hurt? what happened?

i can’t bear the thought of living without you.

i don’t know what to say, but i’m here.

surely you can’t hope to best me.

i am yours.

we should move on.

i could ask you the same thing.

i just… am pleased to see you, that’s all.

you are looking for forgiveness, but i’m not the one who can give it to you.

they say death is only a journey. does that help?

i stand ready.

shall we end this quickly?

another battle is upon us.

you frightened me.

to be honest, i see no point in filling these moments with empty talk.

my wounds need attention.

before we found you, there was a moment when i… don’t do that again.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY SOLAS *  assorted dialogue from dragon age: inquisition

i am not familiar with such magic.

i must retreat!

what a waste.

be careful. there may be a reason this ground has lain undisturbed for so long.

i suspect you have questions.

ingenious. let us see what it unlocks.

i like being out in the forests. it’s peaceful.

they deserve better.

that should give us more time.

i suspect both sides have some element of truth.

sometimes it seems this land is a collection of tragedies, one piled atop another.

this place is unpleasant.

i will never forget you.

we have both seen terrible things.

the stars will guide us out of here, i hope.

the villagers are brave to stay and defend their homes.

we should be cautious here.

it is calming to see something familiar in another.

i am always open to new ideas.

you have taken the first step. that is the hardest part.

these forests have changed much since i was last here.

it’s always remarkable that some will take advantage of chaos to further their own cause.

i wonder how far this corruption has spread.

it is a comfort to have you present on our journeys.

it’s quiet here. i like it.

you surprise me again.

you were never going to wake up.

no matter what comes, i want you to know that what we had was real.

we shouldn’t. it isn’t right.

the best we can do is ensure the world still stands when this fight ends.

we will want to launder our clothes later. or burn them.

even in these wastes, there exists beauty.

this is an odd temple. i wonder if others like it exist or if this is the only one of its kind.

i would enjoy talking.

i will remember this. when this is over.

it was not supposed to happen this way.

you change… everything.

if it wasn’t a trap, what was it?

what were you like?

it was done in a… private moment. i would rather not discuss it.

you wasted your time.

it is not your fault.

i heard you in the training yard this morning.

i sense magical energies ahead.

none of this should be here.

i am glad you’ve allowed yourself some happiness.

who did this?

i sat beside you while you slept.

come, before the band stops playing. dance with me.

i apologize. the kiss was impulsive and ill-considered, and i should not have encouraged it.

it’s safe. they mean no harm.

most people act with so little understanding of the world.

you are no longer a child.

will you stop, or will the rage take you?

i was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me.

also… try not to die.

there must be another way.

i suspect you are correct.

i am an asset, if not a friend.

it will always be important to you.

for now, the best gift i can offer is… the truth.

i will never forget you.

you were in no position to argue.

pray such a day never finds you.

i was ready to flee.

in our travels, i have been impressed by your honesty and your faith.

this question will be offensive.

you have seen a great deal of battle.

i have not forgotten the kiss.

you are so beautiful.

right then, i felt the whole world change.

i admire your optimism.

it would be kinder in the long run.

you should have seen me when i was younger. hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight.

i assumed we were alike.

i wish to apologize for what i said to you.

[arborvye]

i love you, he whispers to her, and there is something so calming about his cadence that settles her, eases her heart. two years his absence had brought nothing but pain for her: the sealing of the breach, corypheus' defeat . . . it was supposed to be an end, but there had been nothing left. her clan dead, solas gone, she had thrown herself into the inquisition, continued to make peace in thedas, settling disputes, reclaiming land, playing the stupid grand game. slowly her friends had dwindled, all left to return to their lives, and it was her, alone in the big empty fortress that had so short ago felt like a new home, turned cold and uninviting.

he kisses her again, hungry, and vhen'ara is dizzy with it, following his lips when he eventually breaks it. she's never gotten this from him, and the parts of her that had accepted his chastity and taken care of herself, that had died the minute he turned from her in crestwood and again when he was gone, are roared to life at his sudden immodesty. i would not lay with you under false pretenses. not while he lied to her about who he was, but there are no lies between them now, nothing kept in the dark. there is something freeing in that, a burden on her heart that had made her feel undesirable that lifts at the taste of him. he stands, helping her up, and when vhen'ara takes his hand, she doesn't let go.

“ cikdall, ” she repeats, eyes on the eluvian behind them as it glimmers with power, ready to take them like a mother opening their arms. he brings her hand up to kiss at her knuckles, and she replaces the eluvian in her gaze with him. he seems to much more peaceful now, so much more at ease. he aims to take the veil down, what he has put up, intent on correcting his mistakes. vhen'ara had seen first hand his strength during the inquisition, his prowess on the field, his intelligence translating easily from tomes and scrolls to battle preparation, a dexterity with a staff that she admired. creators, the dalish got him wrong.

the inquisition cannot find you there. she looks one last time behind her at the ruins, the silhouettes of stone - made qunari, their statues adding to the eerie quality that elvhen ruins always had, something ancient and sad. the inquisition will not find her, a clutching at her chest at the thought. she never wanted the position, and she has lost so much from it, but there had been so much gained as well. to put it behind her? to desert the force she spent four years leading and building, the last home she had known? what would they think of her?

what do they think of you now? mind supplies images of the portraits of her, hiding her ears, her vallaslin wrong, wide elvhen eyes scaled down. they had made her more human, more palatable, more common, so as everyone could see themselves in her. an elf will stand for us all, but she had been wrong. vhen'ara turns back to solas, holding tight to his hand. “ i'm ready, ” she answers. if they would not let their precious inquisitor, their herald, be an elf, then an elf would stand for the elves, and she lets him guide her through the eluvian.

[fen-harela]

traveling through the eluvian was an experience that solas could only describe as swimming on dry land. it was smooth, fluid — one who passes through should feel as though they exited a pond, but they surface completely dry. the passage between the land inside the mirror and cikdall took less time than it took to draw a breath, taking them from a place that appeared to be ruins of some kind to a grassy one — grey stone is replaced by luscious green, much softer than the place they left just moments prior.

“ i'm so happy you're here, vhenan. ” he's made this place his home over the past two years — built the structure they're walking to himself. small, yet spacious. completely open, allowing the full power that nature can offer to surround him. there were wards all around his home, ones he'll have to take down to reenter, ones he'll have to put up again once they're a suitable distance inside. his plans of journeying in the fade for the remainder of the day would be put off in favor of something he preferred much more. “ the journey is not far. less than an hour. i wanted there to be a guarantee that my base of operations would be safe if someone unwanted were to enter through here. ” he's spoken in elvhen once more — he does not think the common tongue will leave his lips again, not unless it is absolutely necessary. she's versed in the language of his people now — no, their people. he's still holding her hand — good. he never wanted to let it go again, not once. there was so much to do, to say now that he was finally permitted to bear his soul to her, his whole soul. the forgotten ones could wait another evening. he'd waited tens of thousands of years for this moment.

“ how do you like this place? you've nearly seen all of it. ” he turns to face her, though he keeps walking as he speaks. “ this may seem foolish, but when i picked this place, i thought you might like it. ” solas faces forward again, a coy smile playing at his lips. “ even after i thought i'd lost you, i was still trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me. ”

the island almost felt tailor made for him. when solas first arrived, there wasn't even a path on it. the materials he used were fetched from the eluvians, traveling to different spots in all of thedas, attempting to make this place more habitable. ven if he hadn't made it more homey, he felt as though he would have been happy enough. it reminded him of one of his favorite spots from the place he grew up — a large, expansive field, a place where he first learned to hone in his magical abilities. it was fitting he chose here as the place where he'd give it all back to those who didn't deserve the hurt he caused. now, he'd have vhen'ara by his side. he didn't feel like he deserved it, this chance at happiness. but it was here. he'd be foolish to turn it away a second time.

finally, off in the distance, is the small structure he's turned into his home. his free hand points, pace slows until he stops entirely. “ there it is. our new home. it's not nearly as impressive as skyhold, but i hope you will find some comfort there. ” his body turns to face her now, hand reaching up to caress her face. “ i have much to make up for, vhen'ara. i hope this will provide some way for me to begin to do so. ” solas leans down to kiss her, relishing in her touch, in the unlimited time they were permitted together. he'd bend heaven and hell to save her, no matter what the cost. “ come. let me remove these wards and we'll be off. ”

[michaeloliverlove]

Javi Rico

[fen-harela]

SOLAS'S FAMILY, A BRIEF HISTORY:

ISENE: solas's mother. her name means she who is like fire in elvhen. solas has always been close to her, as the youngest child and only son. she made a concentrated effort to make sure her son knew he was wanted and loved, especially because he was born after he father left. she passed away before he created the veil, something that he has been eternally grateful for. as her name implies, isene was a mage with a preference for fire magic. thankfully, solas and his sisters share her brown hair and grey eyes.

TUELENAS: solas's father. his name means the creators are gracious in elvhen. solas never met him, and has only heard stories of him from his sisters and his mother — however, these stories vary greatly when it comes to the character of his father. isene portrays him as a great hero who died valiantly protecting someone, his sisters portray him as a deadbeat who accused his family of ruining his life. his journeys in the fade have proven his sisters' point of view to be correct, and solas remains happy that he's never met his father.

SILEAL: solas's eldest sister. her name means wisdom in elvhen. a talented healer, sileal helped solas see that there was so much more to magic than the elemental and destructive side that most knew. she believed he could do anything, and it was her memory that inspired him to study history through the fade. the irony is not lost on him that her name means wisdom, and his means pride — wisdom twisted to pride, solas doing things he never imagined in order to keep his eldest sister happy and safe.

ARIDHEL: solas's second eldest sister. her name means our protection in the night in elvhen. out of his three sisters, solas was the least close with her — despite this, she was the last one he saw before creating the veil. she was the one who taught him many skills that were considered feminine among his people: braiding hair, sewing, and baking. she also shares his dislike for tea.

LAHALAAN: solas's third eldest sister. her name means like the foxes in elvhen. the most vain of his siblings, solas felt protective of her because of the constant attention she received, both from his people and the evanuris. he was happy that she shared his devotion to mythal, and he went to lahalaan when he learned of her demise. knowing her younger brother, lahalaan attempted to dissuade him from retaliating against the evanuris, but she was unsuccessful. she is a big part of his motivation for bringing back the elvhen pantheon and the former glory of his people.

[hollytree33]

Dreadwolf

[arborvye]

it's out of her mouth before the thought has even fully formed. a feeling in her bones, that if he crosses that eluvian, she will next see him on the battlefield, and there will be no speaking again. it aims to be strong, resilient, but what falls from her mouth is meek, the young girl she feels that bubbles to the surface. the voices all whisper the same thing: do not let him go. he took her heart, her vallaslin, her arm — what else now is left but this? memory of him leaving in crestwood, him suddenly missing from behind her after corypheus' defeat. he has left her twice now. she will not let him leave again.

he turns, just barely, but enough to catch his eyes. everything in her screams for this victory; he turns, he hears her. she keeps her gaze trained on him, never wavering. “ i would come with you, ” a soft nod, answered in elvhen, same as him, the two of them conversing in ancient tongues that no one else alive could decipher. a familiarity to it; is it her or is it mythal? there's no parsing it now. between them, in this space, it feels like home. “ i would come with you, solas. and i would come with you, fen'harel. ”

she speaks his name, though choked with emotion, without hesitation. did she know it then, two years ago, the well what whispered his identity without her understanding? his actions have sense now, she thinks, his cryptic thoughts and words a desperation behind them that seems so obvious now: you show a wisdom i have not seen since . . . your people yet linger . . . you gave yourself in service to an ancient elvhen god . . . i know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory. a testament to her quickness that she had not caught it then, even with the voices in the well whispering in her mind. the only anger present had been the lie of omission, not in the reality; she loved him, and if loving solas meant loving fen'harel, then fen'harel take her.

chest tight, she waits on the ground, pinpricks threaten to spill when he makes his way back over. a pain in her throat, a call for him that dies short without sound. there are no words for when he kneels next to her, when he looks so wrecked for her, when his hand touches her skin. vhen'ara melts against him, leaning in gently; no one has touched her in two years, not with this affection — no one had dared tried. her heart is his: skin bruised with him, his handprints on her arm, his lips still on her neck, the ghost of him present long after any physical remains. he calls her vhenan; a melody from his mouth, she only ever wants to hear it and never inquisitor again. his hand moves back into her hair, the breath let out of her lungs at his grip, his confession.

the taste of him again — how had she gone so long without him? a depravation satiated at the feel of him, slow, loving. she wants more, just like this. she wants more, to devour. he needs her, he said. she needs him. her hand moves up to place against his chest, desperate to feel his heart. “ only together, ” it slips between their lips, finally spoken around the pain of holding back tears. “ always together. if you ever leave me again — ” she breaks long enough to gaze at him, steeled. he will not leave her again. “ there is no dinan'shiral when it is the two of us, side by side. ”

[fen-harela]

there is no dinan'shiral when it is the two of us, side by side. her words echo loudly in his ears, and fen'harel takes them to heart. never did he imagine this, that that dread wolf of old who distanced himself from everyone, who put the sky up and cursed the ancient elves, that this very creature would have someone to walk the path with him. him! he never anticipated this. and how could he? it took the destruction of his race for him to be taken seriously. and yet, despite knowing of his wrongdoings, the thing he regretted the most in his long, long life, vhen'ara chose to be with him.

“ never. ” his voice is a whisper, words left against her ear in the language that only they knew. nas'falon — that was the word he would use. and to think he had to wait those tens of thousands of years to find her. to think the person he held most dear was of the dalish, a civilization he'd come to despise. perhaps it was the creator's idea of a joke! it didn't matter. “ i love you. ” solas murmurs in her ear, and suddenly, he is transported back to skyhold, the place where he learned to love her. it was never supposed to go farther than the first kiss. he decided a millennia ago that he would never fall in love — he could never give himself to someone in the way they would give themself to him. his identity would always remain a secret, something he should be ashamed of, but could never bring himself to. and yet, there she was. the spitting image of sylaise, with a head of brilliant gold and the personality to match. after they first kissed, he tried to stay away. and yet, he couldn't. she supported his endeavor to avenge his friend. she wanted to learn from him, like a teacher and a pupil, and teach her he did. about his travels in the fade. about his friends from the fade. about the ancient elves.

it all came to a head after he killed those mages. to his surprise, she would speak with him. even after he ran off — he knew it then. she was his nas'falon, this wild, beautiful, intelligent dalish girl. he knew better. he should have ended it there, and yet, solas chose to be selfish. it would be kinder in the long run. but losing you . . . it would have killed him. it nearly did! he didn't let himself look at her as he left crestwood. he would have folded too easily. he supposed it was why he left so quickly following corypheus's demise. and to do what? to spend all that time in hiding after being so open was a difficult shift, to return to spending the majority of his time in the fade was unbelievably hard. but she was waiting for him at the end.

after one more not so chaste kiss, he rises, hand reaching out to hers to help her up. there was so much to catch up on — so much to plan now that she was with him. what would the inquisition do when their beloved inquisitor never returned from her meeting with solas, fen'harel's agent? surely, they would have to come to one conclusion: he is fen'harel. the inquisitor abandoned them in favor of his mission. he can only imagine the panic that might set in once the realization is made, and in a sick, twisted way, it makes him happy. just a foretelling of what's to come.

“ when we step through the eluvian, we will be on cikdall, a small island in the amaranthine sea. it's completely, utterly private. i've covered the place in charms and wards to keep it from being found. there, i sleep. i spend my time in the fade — it's safer there. we'll stay together — the inquisition cannot find you there. ” he pulls her hand to his lips, and he tenderly kisses her knuckles. he missed her. each and every part of her felt so familiar, so warm and inviting. a feeling he'd never known until her! “ are you ready, vhen'ara? ” he asks, pulling her slowly towards the mirror, the one with a surface that ripples, the one that will take him home. with her.

[em1e]

what made u guys pick ur url's !

[fen-harela]

in ancient times, only fen'harel could walk without fear among both our gods and the forgotten ones, for although he is KIN to the gods of the people, the forgotten ones knew of his cunning ways, and saw him as one of their OWN. and that is how fen'harel tricked them.

[gunbasharch]

solas's input is valuable and striking , picking up on the nuances of the game at hand , the problems arising right in front of their faces . the servants , solas states , dislike briala for some reason — WHAT FOR ? every time sebastian turns his back or blinks , it seems this event gets even more confusing than before . chaotic . too much going on at once and not enough words in his own language to concretely explain to leliana his thoughts . when solas suggests offering translation duties to the inquisitor , sebastian's brows perk with interest . that could be an effective ploy , a means of comprehending the secrets spun behind closed doors . ❝ you might be tasked with joining them , you know . going off and away from the party and into the depths of this palace . i don't envy you at all . in fact , I FEEL BAD . you'll miss all this magnificent wine if you leave , solas . ❞ the faintest , cheekiest grin . ❝ if you hear any more , please let me know . leliana wants to advise the inquisitor on a way to lean , but i'm not even certain she's sure yet , herself . ❞

[fen-harela]

“ i think that i'm the wrong person to send amongst the servants. ” their similarities ended with their race — they saw something was different about him. he knew that based on the fact he had to eavesdrop. even sera would have a better chance of fitting in than he. “ the very fact they don't speak with me openly is proof enough. they whisper around me and think i don't understand. ” if only they knew who they were casting out — they even mentioned him when discussing briala. fen'harel as ghilana, or may the dread wolf take her. strong, strong language. he could make it happen, he thought, but decides against it. “ i'll keep an ear out. in the meantime, i'm surprised leliana hasn't sent you off to charm the nobles. you certainly seem as though you'd be more comfortable than cullen. ” perhaps it's hardly an astute observation — both tall. curly hair. a face he's sure women find attractive. but sebastian never joined the chantry — surely, he'd be much better than cullen at it. “ you could talk about that wine you love so much. ”

[fen-harela]

@arborvye : please don't make me do this by myself.

to see her again after two years was an odd experience — when he left, he expected to be alone again. he was always going to be alone. the path he'd chosen was one that could only be walked alone. he should have known vhen'ara would be who he met after walking through the eluvian. it could only be her, the owner of his heart — even after all these years. seeing her again rekindled each and every thing he'd felt for her during the inquisition, but the moment was stopped by the anchor. that damned thing. his life changed forever the moment it embedded itself in vhen'ara's hand instead of his own — but isn't this the better way? a life without her was one he didn't care to live. even as he goes to leave her.

the anchor would kill her if he left it there — and even if he wasn't to see her again, solas couldn't bear to live in a world without vhen'ara lavellan. how he lived in one without her before, he did not know. she became his reason for breathing, for pushing on even though it became hard, even after he pushed her away. there was a certain guilt he felt, falling in love with her and letting her fall in love with a lie, a man who only half existed. he hoped she'd understand that one day — and now, that his true identity had been revealed to her, now that she knew the man she'd spent her days with in skyhold was fen'harel himself, the very dread wolf her people cursed, it felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. she didn't even look at him with disgust as he imagined she might once she found out. their conversation felt like the blink of an eye, and he might have left if the anchor didn't flare up again. it would kill her if he left it there.

it was hard to just leave, watching her there after he'd taken her arm. what else would the dread wolf take from the inquisitor? her vallaslin? her arm? her heart? and now, it seems she offers her life. this was a path that was meant to be walked alone . . . but maybe, just maybe, the dread wolf too could experience the happiness he so wanted.

“ you would come with me? ” their mother tongue fills the air — he's stopped just before exiting the eluvian, head turned, body still facing the mirror. it's enough to turn him back, gaze casting down on her as she looks up at him. it's too much to ask. this path is only filled with uncertainty and death. and yet . . . there's no secrets between them anymore. she learned the truth of his identity, and still, she asks to join him.

he steps away from the eluvian, and kneels next to her. he still is so, so in love with her. a pained, longing expression paints his face — he wants her. would he let himself be selfish? solas reaches out to cup her face, fingers running over her cheek for the first time in years. she feels like home.

“ come with me, vhenan. ” a mixture of common tongue and elvhen, spoken as fingers snake back into her familiar blonde hair, and he has to resist the urge to kiss her then and there. “ i need you with me. ” he's switched back to elvhen now, and finally gives into his urge to kiss her — slowly, passionately. “ please. we'll do it together. ”

[munchmemes]

hozier lyrics, unreal unearth edition

❛  your reflection can't offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself. ❜

❛  no closer could i be to god or why he would do what he's done. ❜

❛  what you live in, it finds a way to live in you. ❜

❛  your heart has such darkness. ❜

❛  i wanna be gone. i wanna run so far, i'd beat the morning. ❜

❛  before the dawn has come, i'd block the sun if you want it done. ❜

❛  let all time slow. let all light go. ❜

❛  i don't need to know where we begin and end. ❜

❛  i'd still know you, not being shown you. ❜

❛  the first time that you kissed me, i drank dry the river lethe. the liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same. ❜

❛  some part of me must have died the first time that you called me baby. ❜

❛  some part of me came alive the first time that you called me baby. ❜

❛  these days, i think, i owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother. ain't that like them? gifting life to you again. ❜

❛  oh, to share the space with simple living things infinitely suffering but fighting off, like all creation, the absence of itself ... but anyway. ❜

❛  some part of me stayed alive each time that you called. ❜

❛  whatever keeps you around, it keeps you around. ❜

❛  when i was young i used to guess, are there limits to any emptiness? ❜

❛  how could you think i'd scare so easily? ❜

❛  my life was a storm since i was born. how could i fear any hurricane? ❜

❛  i would do it again if i could hold you for a minute. ❜

❛  what good would it be on the far side of things? ❜

❛  i would not change it each time. ❜

❛  heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i. ❜

❛  i feel lighter than i have in so much time. ❜

❛  how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me? ❜

❛  if anything could fall at all, it's the world that falls away from me. ❜

❛  if you need to, lean your weight to me. ❜

❛  if we fall, i only pray, don't fall away from me. ❜

❛  i'm starving, darling. let me put my lips to something. ❜

❛  you can't buy this fineness. ❜

❛  we can celebrate the good that we've done. ❜

❛  we had nowhere to go and every desire for going there. ❜

❛  i heard once, it's the comforts that make us feel numb. ❜

❛  it was just our turn being blamed for a world we had no power in. ❜

❛  i haven't felt it since then. i don't know how the feeling ended. ❜

❛  i know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done. ❜

❛  we knew what our love was worth when we had nothing. ❜

❛  i miss when we did not need much. ❜

❛  you were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands. ❜

❛  all i needed was someone when the whole wide world felt young. ❜

❛  hold me like water or hold me like a knife. ❜

❛  you and i burned out our steam chasing someone else's dream. ❜

❛  how can something be so much heavier but so much less than what it seems? ❜

❛  you only feel it when it's lost. getting through still has its cost. ❜

❛  if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right. ❜

❛  we didn't get it right but we did our best. ❜

❛  knowing that everything will end should not change our plans. ❜

❛  all things end. ❜

❛  there are some things that no one teaches you that come natural as a dream you didn't know that you were in. ❜

❛  the awful things we do to make the head go quiet. ❜

❛  you may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be known. ❜

❛  i don't wanna be anything but i would do anything just to run away. ❜

❛  go look another way. ❜

❛  look, i wanna be loud. so loud, i'm talking seismic. ❜

❛  i will not be great but i'm grateful to get through. ❜

❛  the memory hurts but does me no harm. ❜

❛  the moment i knew i'd no choice but to love you. ❜

❛  there's a part of me, i'm afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life. ❜

❛  you know, the distance never made a difference to me. ❜

❛  so, i thought you were like an angel to me. ❜

❛  it ain't the being alone. it ain't the empty home. you know i'm good on my own. ❜

❛  so much of the living is the being unknown. ❜

❛  do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness i still carry for you? ❜

❛  there are some people who are better unknown. ❜

❛  darkness always finds you either way. ❜

❛  after this, i'm never gonna be the same and i am never going back again. ❜