Rerir x fem!reader, headcanons of living with him as a reincarnation of Tholindis. Horror, romance. SPOILERS FOR LUNA II
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Traveling with Rerir as a reincarnation of Tholindis includes:
🐺Not being able to understand at first why he took you with him. You lived a pretty normal life without showing signs of any special skills or psychic abilities, you didn't even had a vision. So why did this powerful being insist that you accompany him during his travels? How could you be of use to him? You were afraid to ask, considering his unstable mental health situation. Most of the time he seemed simply insane but predictable, yet there were nights when he was screaming in his sleep, calling you by the name that felt more familiar than it should.
🐺You had no illusions about Rerir being a good or at least decent person. He seemed to have no conscience, taking out anybody who stood in his way and manipulating people for his gain. He showed no signs of empathy whatsoever. Still, he was suspiciously kind to you, even sweet. Not that it could give you any sense of security considering his lifestyle. He always remembered to get you your favourite snacks despite how hard it was to get them on the run, he made sure that not a single hair fell out of your head no matter how dangerous the situation, and even spared some people you begged him not to hurt. He never broke a single promise.
🐺Unfortunately for you, his kindness never came for free. He insisted on using your help with exchanging his bandages and cleaning his wounds, leaking with abbysal energy. You had to stop yourself from showing disgust or strong concern, cause both seemed to trigger him heavily, and he watched for tiniest but if reaction on your face like a hawk. He also insisted that you both rest in the same sleeping bag, trying to convince you that it's for the sake of warmth, but did he even feel cold? Through the nights he held you as if you were about to disappear from his arms if he loosened his grip even a little bit, but he never made a move on you. Gradually you got used to his ominous presence.
🐺 He tried his best to make you remember, even if he knew it was of no use. He tried to bring up the food you used to like in your last life, humm songs from Khaneria (his voice was low and soothing but he wasn't very good at following the melody),he even gave you a flowercrown made of Inteyvats - but unfortunately it was of no use. You just weren't Tholindis anymore, tho Rerir could've sworn you behaved just like her, as if she just lost her memory. You walked just like her, your breathing pattern resembled hers completely, you even moved around and spoke in similar manner. Sometimes, when you gently worked on his wounded face, it felt exactly the same as when she used to caress him before a kiss. If he wasn't so afraid of scaring you off he'd kiss you already.
🐺 In the last, desperate attempt to make you remember he took you to the ruins of Khaenri'ah. To the place that used to be your home. You weren't happy about it once you saw the interior design - mostly stone with no carpet to warm your feet, forced to stand on the cold floor or the lack of proper duvet. However, you had to admit the place was rather big, even for Khaenrian standards. Being forced to eat mostly meat and mushrooms also wasn't something you enjoyed, even tho Rerir hunted the tastiest meat in the underground and gave you the best parts. What could you do tho with all the trade routes nonexistent and lack of edible for human plants in Khaenri'ah?
🐺 Soon, you discovered the private library in your shared abode. It was hard to explore it freely with Rerir always on your back (dude has separation issues), but as soon as he went on a hunt you buried your nose in the old books Tholindis used in her research. You've learned about the Crimson Moon dynasty, Khaenrian culture and lunar science so complicated it felt like magic to you. You felt strong connection to the Moon and it's people, mourning the suffering they went through. Among the books you've also found a set of wooden runes that you decided to keep and one strange scroll filled with abbys script, hidden way too well for it to be accident. Since then you've worked tirelessly each time you had even a bit of a chance to translate it with the help of a dictionary. In the middle of a cold, dark night you managed to get the job done, and it became clear why Rerir hid it from you so well. It described ritual that was supposed to bring her memories back to you, making you at least partially into her. You also understood it was too late to fight back.
🐺 When the first effects of ritual hit you, it didn't actually feel like loosing yourself in her. It was more like a gentle wave of memories that felt like they belonged to you either way. It would almost be nostalgic, if their content wasn't so disturbing. Literal children begging Tholindis to sober up and see Rerir for who he truly was - why didn't she react when she still had time? Or at least run away from Khaenri'ah. She could have lived instead of giving her soul up for a cold blooded murderer. The exact one that didn't leave your side even for half of a second for days now, awaiting the results of ritual. You felt unease under his watchful gaze, but you knew you had to endure and act fool for just a bit longer. So you waited for him to crash out.
🐺It took a few painfully slow weeks for his mental state to deteriorate again. You caught him mumbling under his breath, staring at the reflection of the Crimson Moon in the mirror. There was nothing but madness in his eyes, and you were sure he was seeing horrors from bygone era instead of what was happening around him as of now. Was it the moment of your tragic death or the eyes of his victims right before the light dimmed in them? It didn't matter to you as long, as it could distract him from your escape. You quietly sneaked out of the shared house, and runned for your life as soon as you were sure he can't hear you anymore. You couldn't know yet just how excellent of a hunter was Rerir or the price you'll have to pay for your bravery, for he would sooner chase you to the end of the world than loose you again.
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