Anal Satire

@fentruck-blog

My goal is absurd humor worded eloquently. I write jokes and post them. It'd be beneficial for everyone involved if you enjoy them, but you don't have to. I don't post photos or songs or reblogs. The layout is deliberately unimpressive, the jokes are so accidentally. Twitter: twitter.com/AnalSatire

702 posts

Posts

I choose to see happy accidents and coincidences as my subconscious predicting the future.

#predict #future #coincidence

Inside sources say The Smurfs DVD will include a deleted scene, omitted because producers thought it "too offensive," where the Smurfs do a redface routine.

#Smurfs #DVD

700th Post

Like a good person, I try to practice empathy as much as possible. I do it because it's a step toward my ultimate goal of omnipresence.

#empathy #omnipresence

Since The Artist is such a popular film, they're going to make a video game version exclusively for the Atari 2600.

#film #video games #The Artist #Atari 2600

The Adventures of Hypochondriac Man

Hypochondriac Man: "Worrying about my panic attacks gives me anxiety attacks, and worrying about my anxiety attacks gives me..."

Competent Doctor: "Let me guess: panic attacks."

Hypochondriac Man: "If only. Anal fissures!"

It's difficult to determine the age at which to tell children that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. isn't real.

#Martin Luther King

What some call schizophrenia, I see as reality in stereo.

#schizophrenia #reality #stereo

I just watched the best parts of Clip Show: The Movie.

#film #clip show

Poor Compliment

"If you had herpes, I'd let you give me herpes."

#Poor Compliment #herpes

After watching Death Race, Death Race 2, and Death Race 2000, I've concluded none of these movies about zombies fighting for equal rights.

#film #zombies #equal rights #Death Race #Death Race 2 #Death Race 2000

Stores boasting a '24HR' sign should be advised that hours are abbreviated lowercase whereas a capitalized H-R is the scientific unit for hookers.

#24HR #abbreviation #capitalization #hookers #units

Niggas in Paris is actually a very emotional song about bawling hard.

#Niggas in Paris #bawl so hard

Next time you choose not to cry over spilt milk, remember that phrase was coined by Genghis Khan.

#Genghis Khan #idiom

Ever since I was a kid, my Christmas tradition was to stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve so I could wait for my day to get ruined.

#Christmas #Christmas Eve #tradition

I want a tablet computer for Christmas so I can be even less productive.

#tablet #Christmas

I might adopt two black daughters and name them both Awntawndruh so I can make a double entendre on 'double entendre.'

#black names #double entendre

I'm pathetic, but at least knowing it gives me a sense of superiority over people who don't know that they're pathetic.

#pathetic #superiority

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