Fern

[fernthewriter]

I feel guilty. I feel sad. But we can’t keep doing this to ourselves.

[fernthewriter]

I’m sorry this never worked. I’m sorry we crumbled we didn’t engineer our love well from the start. That was my fault. I’m so sorry Y. You deserve way better.

[fernthewriter]

I never really told you how much I appreciate you.

Thank you for putting up with me. I hope your next chapter is the most beautiful one yet.

[fernthewriter]

I hope you find peace

[fernthewriter]

I hope you’re healthy wherever you are

[fernthewriter]

I wonder if the stars ever talk to each other

I wonder if they know the truth about us

Do they ever laugh at us?

[fernthewriter]

I’m sorry I never treated you right

Im sorry I never got you flowers when you wanted them

You see the storm was heavy when we touched

The cold winter still had my heart frozen to things I wasn’t ready to warm up too

You accepted me going across the country.

You accepted me going through hell and back at my rock bottom

You must be going crazy.

You must be wondering where the hell did all this come from

I left more questions than answers in your soul

I left a hole unburied with no explanation

I did love you, more than anything I could imagine

More was expected than what I could handle

I grew unhappy

I grew frustrated with time

Every trip, every conversation was war

I didn’t want to waive the white flag

I wanted to be happy again. I’m sorry that I can’t do that with you anymore.

I pray you find peace.

Im still looking for it.

[fernthewriter]

I once felt sad about falling stars. It seemed like such an awful circumstance. But now your voice turns my entire face into a garden you make me feel like the kind of harvest that only comes from good soil. I to would trade the sky for this.

[fernthewriter]

It’s all karma I get it

[fernthewriter]

People use this?

[fernthewriter]

I run through the truth

Everyday

Yet i will never say it outloud

What a…. Coward

[fernthewriter]

I will still tell you these things even if you don’t say them back

[fernthewriter]

I don’t mind loving you more than you love me

[fernthewriter]

Went looking for your profile on the dating app

Found your profile

[fernthewriter]

I’m an uncle now

[fernthewriter]

I talk to god everyday

When I put my clothes on and kiss the statues

Before I go on the freeway and let cruise control take me to work

I talk to god in this room

I ask him for clarity

I always make the worse decisions

I feel stuck

But I’m here and I hope it’s all worth it someday

[fernthewriter]

I open the app and it’s been the same result