Rating: PG-13 (Swearing & Mentions of Sex)
Word Count: 7k +
30 November 2021
A whirlwind week later, Meg found herself sitting in the living room of an Airbnb in London. This was going to be her home base until she moved into her apartment. Fortunately, her childhood friend Jenna had a good friend from college living in London and recommend the building that she lived in as a good landing spot. After touring the place this morning, she signed. She was tired and the place worked. It was truly a beautiful and modern apartment, unlike her pre-war walk-ups in NYC and early 1900’s flats in Chicago. She decided to “treat” herself to the sleek canary wharf place. “It’s only for 9 months or so” she reminded herself. The best part? She’d be able to move in a week- right after her first assignment.
She got the call from Matt this morning. She’d be going to Monaco to do a quick interview with Charles Leclerc for her network. Apparently, a company exec and Leclerc’s agent are old friends from law school.
“Hmph. of course, John and that driver’s agent are friends,” she said out with an intense eye roll. “This is just like him to get involved” she could have screamed. She wanted to do a lot of screaming lately. Really, she wanted to. And maybe throw her laptop, for good measure. She reminded herself to take a breath, “Megan, you’re not letting John get to you anymore”. She took out her phone and opened up her notes app. She added, “Find a therapist” to her ever-growing to-do list.
Even after sending her away, John was still trying to meddle in her work.
She sighed loudly and put in her headphones. She needed a glass of wine and some Taylor Swift.
A couple of days later, she found herself on a late afternoon flight. It had been a stressful few days between getting her phone set up and adjusting to the UK. She was grateful that she was able to fly into Monte Carlo the night before and stay an extra day after the interview. It would give her time to transcribe the interview and to do a little sightseeing. After she checked in to her hotel, she decided to talk a walk around the city. Even though it was February, it was significantly warmer in the south of France than in London. “Thank god for the sun” she whispered to herself as she she left her hotel in the Quartier du Porrt. Even though it was the winter, she wanted to soak in the sun and melt into its warmth. As she started to stroll through the winding rues, she thought back to a weekend she had with her ex in Sicily.
They had both secretly snuck away to a small resort in Taormina to spend the week in the sand and in the sun- and in bed. The salty, warm smell of the sea was present even on this cool Monegasque night. Before letting herself get lost in the memories, she shook herself out of them. “Not right now” she thought to herself. “I can’t go there tonight.”
Taking in the dense cityscape, she decided to stop at a small bistro for a glass of wine and dinner. Her meal was delicious but it left her wanting another one. Meg popped into the Casino store next door for some snacks. She picked up a bottle of red and a package of prince cookies and headed back to the hotel to call it a night.
She was uncharacteristically nervous about her upcoming interview. She hadn’t felt this level of nerves since her very first day on the job covering the NFL.
“He’s just a normal person, like the rest of us” she reminded herself. While F1 wasn’t her dream sport, she wanted to be good at her job and, truthfully, she wanted the drivers to like her. She had built a close rapport with many NFL players- so much so- that a few of the teams sent her going away gifts when they found out she wouldn’t be covering them anymore. The NFL in many ways was home.
Her dad was a former NFL player turned local high school math teacher and coach. Even as a high school coach, he had remained involved with his former team and the NFL players union.
“This break is going to be good” she sipped her wine and tried to convince herself. She was skeptical but she did need it. She had never known anything but the NFL and never considered the possibility of work outside of it. But it had become harder and harder to be in that environment without her dad. Her grief had led her to make some god-awful choices, but she had a feeling that this move was a new beginning.
To calm her nerves, she decided to take a long shower. The hotel she was staying in was decidedly over the top, and the bathroom was no different. The shower would be a tight squeeze for two, but its size lent to a cozy environment. She stepped in, turned the water hot, and let the multiple streams consume her body.
Meg was a water baby. She loved everything about the water. It was peaceful and calming, but also violent and wild. Most of her best memories involved a swim meet or a trip to Lake Michigan. And whenever, she needed to clear her head, she stepped into the steamy sanctuary of a shower.
However, it wasn’t working tonight. She had hoped the water would wash her nervousness away. In fact, it had done the opposite. The pressure of the water heightened her anxiety and lead her mind to places she didn’t want it to go. It had brought her right back to the trip to Sicily.
“You’re so sexy, you know that right?” he asked
“Oh stop” she continued, “I’ve already slept with you, you don’t need to continue to flatter me,” she said with a wink.
He pulled in tight and looked her in the eyes, “Babe, c’mon now, I want you”
“Oh yeah” she looked up at him, biting her lip
He nodded.
“Then why don’t you show me how much”
Meg was able to shake herself away from that memory in the shower, but not from the feelings it stirred inside of her. It made her sad, happy, horny, and absolutely terrified all at the same time. And it made her mad. It made her fucking furious that she was thinking about him and that she was allowing him to make her feel this way.
Too tired to emotionally process the flashback, she got out of the shower and quickly did her skincare. She got into bed and turned off the lights.
She cried herself to sleep that night.
The next morning she pulled herself out of bed and got ready for her interview. She was somehow able to coverup the damage to her face from crying. “Concealer is truly a girl’s best friend”, she thought.
The interview was in a private back room of a local cafe. She was running a bit late- but Leclerc wasn’t expected to arrive for another 30 minutes. She had just wanted a few extra minutes to prep.
The cafe was less like a smoky Parisian neighborhood spot and more elegant et somptueux. Very Monte Carlo. “Fucking typical” she thought with an eye roll. Really, it was beautiful and awe-inspiring but ultimately not her style. And frankly, out of her comfort zone. But the cafe, had been incredibly gracious in her request for a private space. “The true test”, she thought, “is the quality of the croissants.”
Upon arrival, she was greeted by her producer, Graham. She hadn’t had the opportunity to meet him in London yet due to him being on a weekend away with his family.
Graham, in his late 40’s, was the loving husband of Ginny and the dad of three girls. Meg could tell that they were going to get along. After exchanging pleasantries, Graham said, “He’s already here”.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, he’s been here for 10 minutes already.”
Meg was shocked. It was not like NFL players to show up early. She had assumed that the drivers would be the same.
“In all my years of working with footballers and the lot, they’ve never shown up this early” Graham confirmed her thoughts.
“Weird… well I guess we better get started then?” she looked at Graham for some reassurance.
“Agreed. No reason to faff about.” he continued with a smile “You’re going to be great, by the way.”
“Thanks, Graham” she smiled back him.
She took her time walking to the back of the cafe. For some reason, it felt like her life was about to change again. And, it was; even more than it had changed in the past week.
For as long as she could remember, Megan loved the NFL. Her dad would lift her up on his lap with a deep groan and say, “my girl is getting so big”. And they’d analyze. They would glue their eyes to the TV every Sunday and dissect all four quarters together. Megan and her dad were close, and her world shattered when he passed.
4 years on, losing her dad still hurt. She thought about him all the time and if he would be proud of her. She would call her mom up and ask: “do you think he would be proud of me?” and even though her mom always said yes; and even though Megan knows instinctually knows he would, she needed reminding. She needed to know.
While studying for her undergraduate degree, she started a blog called “XO” where she broke down the NFL from her perspective. To her surprise, it took off. After she graduated she found herself moving to NYC to work for a TV sports network. Besides a semester abroad, she had never lived outside the Midwest. This move- to the big city- terrified her.
But now, NYC felt small. No, not small, but the same. The same type of guys, the same type of nights, and the same type of shallow friends: all people who knew her work and wanted something from her. They wanted a job or access to NFL players. Her favorite category was the men who wanted to date her so that they could test her football knowledge. In an attempt to boost their ego, they would belittle her, to make themselves believe that they too could be a sports writer. And to remind her that she has her job because she’s a woman. She rarely let these boys get to her, but it still hurt to be viscerally reminded that a lot of men are misogynists.
Megan had carved out a reputation for herself as a no-bullshit sportswriter who didn’t have time for fluff. She was methodical and thorough in her reporting. The players appreciated her directness and respected her opinion deeply. Her approach extended beyond sports. She was incredibly outspoken about cultural and political issues. This had occasionally landed her in hot water as her leftist stances often put her at odds with company policy. It always would blow over until:
“What do you mean I’m being pulled off of the NFL?” Megan nearly screamed.
“Meg, look, it’s not for forever” Matt, her boss, said.
“The Super Bowl is over so you’ll be off the NFL from now till the beginning of the season. It’ll go quick.”
“Why am I being taken off? I’ve been working my ass off to get my sources in the NFL.” Megan asked
“Meg. I don’t know” she looked back at him skeptically.
“Truly, I don’t know. I wouldn’t lie to you.” this was true, she thought. He continued, “All I know is that it’s coming from the top. They want you off- for now.”
Fuck. She had a feeling she knew what this was about and who was behind it.
“Ok, so what are they assigning me to?” she sounded deflated
“Alright, don’t freak out… but they’re assigning you to Formula One”
“TO WHAT?”
She started to spiral. She thought back to the time she went to a NASCAR race in college because she got free tickets. After an afternoon around the oval, she decided that there were too many left turns and confederate flags for her liking.
“I don’t know anything about auto racing in the US, let alone European racing”
“Meg, if you take the assignment, they’ll move you to London for the time you’ll be working on it”
Her ears perked up. She’d been looking for an escape route out of NYC for some time now.
“London?”
“Yes… Meg, I seriously want you to consider this. An opportunity like this won’t come again.”
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