The soft hum of the PC fans filled the apartment, blending with the faint sound of Max’s voice through his headset. Three curved monitors glowed in front of him, their light reflecting off the glossy paint of his helmet collection neatly mounted on the wall above his desk. The room smelled faintly of rubber and the salty evening breeze drifting in from the balcony, just behind the swaying curtain.
Y/N stood quietly at the door for a moment, plate in hand, watching him with a small, fond smile. His back was rigid in the racing seat, fingers gripping the wheel tight, voice sharp and focused.
“Oh god, what the hell? What the hell was that?” he muttered frustratedly.
She stepped forward silently, the curtain moving gently behind her. Her footsteps were barely audible as she placed the plate of pasta down on the narrow space between his keyboard and the glowing PC tower.
Max jumped. Instinctively, he reached out and covered the webcam mounted above the central monitor. With his other hand, he hit mute on his mic.
The live chat exploded.
@OrangeArmy33: WHO IS THAT??
@maxyfanforever: …did we just see Max’s girlfriend??
@f1girlies: omg she brought him food that’s so cute
@teamredlinefan: LOL he panicked so hard
@sstrangecatzz: WHAT JUST HAPPENED??
@15senna.thebest: OMG, a WOMAN
@maxfutureGF: nah, no chance for me now
“You scared me,” he muttered, glancing nervously over his shoulder with a sheepish smile. “Also… congrats, you just leaked yourself to like twenty thousand people.”
Y/N’s eyes went wide as she looked at the screen, reading the chat.
“Wait, what? Did they see my face too?” she asked, a bit anxious.
“They saw you, but I think your face didn’t show clearly… just wait for the internet detectives to start digging,” Max said with a small laugh.
By the time the pasta had gone cold, the internet had already connected the dots. Gossip accounts on Instagram were posting the clip in 4K quality, and Twitter threads were pairing screenshots from the stream with blurry paparazzi shots of her at the Monaco marina and near stores—right alongside Alexandra Saint-Mleux, which would mean nothing if she weren’t Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend.
@F1Tea (1.2M followers)
@F1Tea: Spotted on Max Verstappen’s stream tonight 👀. Same girl who was seen with Alexandra Saint-Mleux at that festival?
@monacogurl: Same hair as the girl seen with Alexandra in the Barcelona race omggg!!!
@cuppoftea: Shirt matches that one Max wore in Austria…
@maxxxine1: You’re all crazy, maybe it’s his sister Victoria.
↳@f1is4thegirls: Nope, his sister’s blonde. The girl on stream had long brown hair… like this one.
Later that night, Y/N curled up on the sofa in the living room corner, directly opposite the glass shelves where Max’s trophies caught the dim light.
“I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t want people to know like that,” she said softly, eyes glued to her phone. “What if they hate me? What if they follow me everywhere now?” She glanced at him, searching for reassurance.
Max sat down beside her, his knee brushing against hers.
“Look, if some people don’t like it, that’s their problem. I’m not hiding you, Y/N. I’m happy with you. That’s what matters.”
He gently took her hand.
“Maybe they’ll talk, yeah, but you just let them. Everything’s gonna be alright.”
“I hope you’re right,” she whispered, looking back at her phone as he kissed the top of her head.
A couple days later, Y/N was out shopping in Zara with Alexandra and Rebecca (Carlos’s girlfriend).
“I’m just nervous people might start leaking stuff about my family or something…” she said, running her fingers over the soft silk of a dress.
“At first it’s confusing, girl… but you have to act confident. Trust me,” Alex said. Rebecca chuckled in agreement.
“She’s right, and besides, now you’re with the group. The other girls will love you.”
That made Y/N feel a little lighter.
Two days later, their social feeds spoke for themselves.
@maxverstappen1
@maxverstappen1: Not much of a secret anymore, I guess. I love you so much to keep you secret.❤️ @yourusername
@monacogurl: GUYS I KNEW. WE WERE ALLLL RIGHT
@yourusername: I love you too <3<3
@f1wagspretty: We should start thinking of ship names.
@maxxxine1: oh.
↳@maximaxdududu1: for real, that's the only thing I can say now.
@yourusername
@yourusername: Getting used to the spotlight… ✨
@f1channel: I think we will love her
@girlystuffig: She looks so pretty and confident!!!
@redbullracing: Welcome, Y/N
@monacogurl: Hi Y/N, you say hiiii?
↳@yourusername: Of course love, hello!
@maxxxine1: She is kinda cute for Max yeah...
The change was gradual but real. Y/N started walking into the paddock with her head held high, chatting with the other girlfriends, even posing for the occasional photo.
The noise from the crowd no longer made her insecure — she knew what was real and what wasn’t, and that’s all that mattered.
She could kiss him, hold his hand, and be his support — on the paddock and in the garage — without hiding.
All thanks to being caught accidentally on camera.
Hiii! It's my first time writting and posting here, I've been reading fanfics and stuff since a lot and got my ideas but was too embarrassed or lazy to write/post... so I'm trying now!
If you are a writter or know well how to use this, I'd love the help!!
genre: slow burn · enemies (but actually misunderstanding) to besties to lovers · emotional damage with a side of banter · social anxiety-core · smau × irl
warnings: mentions of suicidal ideation (in the past), awkward social interactions, oscar being emotionally constipated, one (1) cursed plastic bag that changed your whole life, themes of alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide
synopsis: once, he saved your life with shaking hands and a bad autograph. now, years later, you stand in his orbit—hattie’s best friend with a half-healed heart and a wrist tattoo he’ll never notice. he doesn’t remember you. you never forgot him. It’s messy. It’s slow. It’s everything and nothing at all.
Partnering: DWTS Celebrity!Charles Leclerc x DWTS Pro!fem!reader (referred to as Yourname)
Type: Fluff
Social Media AU
Summary: Charles goes on Dancing with the Stars and falls in love with the pro he's paired up with.
Warnings: I'm not American so I've never actually watched DWTS before so this could be very wrong lol. (if I've missed any please let me know and I'll add them)
F1 Masterlist
Dancing with the Stars posted:
Dancing with the Stars: Our newest celebrity… Charles Leclerc! The Scuderia Ferrari HP Formula One driver will be dancing with Yourname.
Comments:
User: WOWWOWWOWWOW
User: can we get him shirtless…?
User: WHERE on EARTH did THIS come from??
Scuderia Ferrari: We can’t wait to see our driver be a star!
liked by Dancing with the Stars
User: Max is gonna watch this season to see his man out there
Charles Leclerc: So excited!
liked by Dancing with the Stars
Yourusername posted a story:
Replies:
User: how is working with charles queen?
User: Pls let charles do salsa
User: hair routine when??
Charles Leclerc posted a story:
Replies:
User: posting her on the main already? Ok i see u
Max Verstappen: why not post the pic of u looking destroyed u sent to the group chat?
-Charles Leclerc: cause that’s embarrassing, they think i’m cool
-Max Verstappen: maybe i’ll post it then 🤔
-Charles Leclerc: no! Pls pls pls no!!
Dancing with the Stars posted:
Dancing with the Stars: Charles and Yourname perform a stunning salsa for our judges, scoring 8’s across the board- the highest scoring couple of the night!
Comments:
User: I’ve never been more in awe
User: genuinely this is the first time I’m mad I’m not American
-User: fr. watching it from tiktok is just not the same 😭
Max Verstappen: …It was decent
-Charles Leclerc: Decent?? That was AMAZING thank you very much
Scuderia Ferrari: That’s our man!
liked by Dancing with the Stars
Yourusername posted a story:
Replies:
User: AHHH so excited for the new dance!!
User: lowkey looks like a date ngl
F1 Gossip: 👀
Charles Leclerc: so you enjoyed today?
-Yourusername: Yes, it was very nice, Charles 🤍
Dancing with the Stars posted:
Dancing with the Stars: Charles and Yourname bring it yet AGAIN! On Contemporary Night they danced to a beautiful ballad, ending with Charles bringing out his fathers racing helmet.
Replies:
User: Charles bringing out the helmet at the end, it honestly broke my heart
-User: ikr! You could see the tears in his eyes and it made me tear up too.
User: ik this was really beautiful, but we finally got shirtless charlessss
User: the choreography changed my life
Scuderia Ferrari: ❤️
liked by Dancing with the Stars
Charles Leclerc posted:
Charles Leclerc: I would like to say thank you to my wonderful dance partner, Yourname, for giving me an opportunity to honour my father tonight. She has been amazing throughout this experience and deserves the world 💗
Replies:
User: thank you @ yourusername for bringing his light out again
User: why do i feel like they’re dating
-User: yessss
-User: on a post about him honouring his father? Really?
Yourusername: I couldn’ t have imagined a better partner this season <3
-Charles Leclerc: Thank you for everything 💗
Dancing with the Stars posted:
Dancing with the Stars: In an epic finale, Charles and Yourname take home the golden trophy! They performed a lyrical dance for Judges Choice, a jazz Instant Dance, and a gorgeous freestyle to finish it all off.
Replies:
User: all the dances were ON POINT TONIGHT
User: nobody can stop me from shipping them now
-User: did you see them when they won??? It totally looked like they were gonna kiss!
Scuderia Ferrari: Another trophy for the cabinet!
liked by Dancing with the Stars
Yourusername: Amazing season finale!
liked by Dancing with the Stars
Yourusername posted:
Yourusername: So glad to have won tonight with my one and only 🤍
Replies:
User: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
User: how long????? omg
Charles Leclerc: mon amour ❤️
liked by Yourusername
Scuderia Ferrari: Can’t wait to see you in the paddock!
User: Am I the only one who didn’t expect this…?-User: yes
i just read probably the best vettel x reader fic of my life that prompted a prequel. so here it issss
warnings: smut ;)
You’d known Seb since he was sixteen. People always used to think it strange when the bawdy world champion told them his girlfriend in fact wasn’t one of the grid girls he liked to pay out, but instead someone he raced against in the junior leagues.
It was nice, though. You’d pulled out of racing three years ago and you’d been dating Sebastian for two of them, tagging along to his races and getting to witness the wild man himself on the podium.
Right now, there was twenty minutes before the formation lap. You were watching from the Redbull garage, a little self-conscious because of how a particular older man was leering at you from the other garage—Mark Webber’s side.
You swallowed thickly and turned your eyes to one of the various screens showing race coverage.
The camera cut to Sebastian’s car. The Redbull was sleek and shiny in it’s handsome navy, the golden sun motif practically giving off it’s own light.
That’s when you noticed—it was empty. No driver sat in it’s seat, which was normal and all, but Seb was nowhere to be seen on-track.
Your brain had started to formulate the worst when you felt hands on your waist. You jumped, thinking that man from earlier had made a move—but it was Sebastian, gloves clamped in his mouth so his bare hands could tug on your waist.
‘C’mon,’ he mumbled. His eyes were round as dinner plates and oh-so dark.
A smirk tugged at the corner of his chapped lips. ‘We got time before the race.’
You bit your lip, checking your watch. ‘Eleven minutes—‘
‘It’s enough and you know it.’
He dragged you away, pulling you into what you could only assume was some kind of office and locking the door. Admittedly, it was kind of difficult to concentrate on your surroundings when Seb already had the top half of his race suit unzipped and your skirt flipped up with his hand.
He kissed you—hard, hot, sloppy—before he knelt down, practically ravaged your panties trying to get them off, and buried his head between your legs.
‘Seb—!’ your hand found purchase on his curly blonde head, pulling him closer against your better judgement. Your mind had gone blurry, save for the feeling of his tongue between your folds, and you knew that was exactly his intention.
Eleven minutes was easily enough, and you knew it. He’d done worse to you in less.
You were gushing all over his stubbly chin before you knew it.
‘God, Seb,’ you muttered, as the German licked his lips obscenely.
He winked and leaned in for a kiss. You dodged and he pouted.
‘Go—fuck—go get in your fucking car, I swear I can hear them looking for you.’
Macklin has always know of Olivia Wilson, naturally. With almost 5 million followers on instagram its hard not to know who she is, however he’s heard of her a lot more ever since the head of pr and media for the San Jose Sharks told him he’d be attending his first formula one race as a guest of RedBull Racing.
Macklin was nervous to meet her, to say the least. She was vicious on the track, a great driver and incredibly attractive, according to what macklin said to Will upon being asked why he was chewing on his nails like a rabid dog in the passenger seat of the car.
Will was driving him and macklin the short distance from their hotel to the track in a rental car that was provided from them upon arriving in Miami last night. For the upcoming weekend they have been given a generous variety of free things by both RedBull and the Sharks such as an overly large hotel room to share, RedBull 4-day paddock passes and the (heavily pushed by the pr team) opportunity to partake in the hot-laps ‘tradition’. Doing things to make the sharks pr team happy on their off-season was not what they anticipated they’d be doing, but nevertheless a cool experience and something the both of them will certainly be doing.
Pirelli Hot Laps is an experience for special guests and celebrities to be taken round the Grand Prix track by a chosen driver at high speeds so they can experience the high G-force from a passengers perspective. For celebrities, all of this is documented and put on various social media platforms for exposure for both the celebrity and as a way of reaching ‘potential new fans’.
When the agreement was settled that a few San Jose Sharks players would be sent to the paddock to do this due to them currently being quite a hit on social media, there was no doubt who would be sent; Macklin, the sharks superstar and Will, the -already RedBull athlete- inseparable companion.
Walking up to the massive intimidating red and black paddock entrance, Will and Macklin were met by David, who will be basically telling them where to be and when throughout the weekend so both RedBull and the Sharks can get the most media out of them: and to make sure the youngsters don’t miss anything important. Both of the boys have been given 4-day passes to the weekend event in Miami and today, Thursday, is media and hot laps day.
“We have about 15 minutes before Max and Olivia are available for the hot laps, they are on a stricter schedule this week. When we get there everything will be set up on the track by then. Macklin, you and Olivia will be going first, we only have one car this time around so Will, you and Max will go after them.” David says to both of them to give them an understating of what will be happening as they walk down the paddock at a leisurely pace.
Macklin can see photographers taking pictures of him and Will walking into and down the paddock very few seconds, he was in disbelief. ‘If this is how much we get, imagine the drivers’ he thought to himself, they must not get a moments peace.
David shows them both round the basics of the RedBull Motorhome: where they’ll be watching the practices, qualifying and race ect. “Ready to go to the track?” He asks with a pleasant smile, both Will and Macklin nod following behind David like lost puppies.
More conversation continues on what the both of them will be doing throughout the weekend and Macklin’s anxiety starts to rise as the track becomes visible. He never thought be would be nervous to meet another athlete, especially one from a different sport. But to meet someone so important to the whole of women in sport and racing itself? He doesn’t know why, but he was shitting himself.
As the cameramen notice the arrival of the two sharks boys they begin recording, making sure to catch every moment of the first interaction between the hockey players and the formula one drivers.
Olivia notices them walking towards and a big friendly smile grows on her face. She knows who they are of course. Her family grew up watching hockey like many and she dabbles in and out of it since growing up which makes the ‘dynamic duo’ quite known to her, especially Macklin. She’s aware of how well he’s soaring in the NHL through social media and an occasional watch of a game.
“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you Macklin, welcome to the paddock.” she says while shaking Macklin’s hand. Max does the same for Will however with slightly less excitement, he probably has a little less of a clue who they are. As they are shaking hands, Macklin can feel his heart skip a beat. Or maybe two. She’s making direct eye contact with him and all he can think about it how beautifully sweet she looks. The way every feature on her face is so soft and inviting. So much so, he nearly forgets to reply to her.
“Great to meet you too, Olivia.” He finally gets out, his voice a little lower and less fun than hers. Contact between the two is broken by the sound of David, telling all of them what to do before Macklin and Olivia get in the car, Olivia in the drivers seat of course.
“You ready?” She asks, hands on the wheel and head turned to the seat beside her. “Uh-I think so” was the reply she received, making her chuckle as she starts the car.
“You may be fast on the ice, but many not as fast as this.” Heat rises to Macklin’s checks at the almost ‘compliment’ on his speed on the ice. And with that, her foot is on the gas and they take off. Macklin grips onto both sides of where he’s sitting in shock, he was expecting it to be quick, but maybe not this early into it.
The first corner comes up and Olivia purposefully drifts round the corner due to the high speeds. “Fucking hell” comes from Macklin’s mouth as he grips onto the sides tighter. She looks at him then back to where she’s directing the car quickly and sees the position he’s in, making her laugh out loud. “You okay? Tell me to stop or slow down and I will” she said, still slightly laughing. He shakes his head in reply. “It’s fine”
Settling into the speed, basic small talk conversations begin: hockey stats, F1 stats, how Olivia’s feeling about the race and what brings Macklin to Miami. The conversation feels so natural -despite having to talk above the sound of the roaring engine- like they’ve met hundreds of times before. Both of them forget about the camera attached to the dashboard recording them for YouTube.
Slowing down and pulling over to the original spot where all the media is after completing a few laps of the Miami International Autodrome circuit , Olivia unbuckles her seatbelt and turns her body to the boy next to her. “How was that?” She questioned him as she places both of her hands in her lap, smile still as sweet sweet as before.
“So cool. I don’t understand how you do it faster than that” That had her exert a breathy laugh. “Yeah, that was around 160 on the straight, an F1 car would go up to around 220 at that point” she says, Macklin blows raspberries with his lips. “That’s crazy”
Swapping places with Will and Max it’s visible can see they aren’t as settled into each others characters. Rightfully so, they did just meet. However so did Liv and Mack and it wasn’t awkward at all.
Max takes off leaving Olivia and Macklin standing next to the barricade with various photographers and media.
“Miss Wilson? Can I just get a photo of you and Mr Celebrini next to each other” one of the men holding an obnoxiously large camera asks with the stern ‘paparazzi’ voice they all carry.
Olivia immediately takes macklin into her side, arm around his waist. After a quiet yet deep breath from ‘Mr Celebrini’ he retaliates and draped his arm over and his hand holds the curve of her opposite arm. With the duo standing facing the track, helmet in both of their free hands dangling low, they hear sound of the unmistakable camera click. “Thank you very much” the camera man says moving his eyes to the screen at the front of his camera to check the photo.
The conversation continues between the two naturally, mostly taking about hockey and the sharks as Olivia clearly knows more about Macklin’s sport than the other way around.
“You’re really making a name for yourself out there huh?”
—————————————————————————
The rest of the day for Mack and Will was quiet and calm. Taking with various important people such as engineers in the RedBull motorhome, having lunch, ect.
Olivia on the other hand was quite busy. Miami is always one of her busiest weekends with the large amount of media surrounding the track. Lots of important people come to see F1 during this weekend, mostly for pr purposes, but it drags a lot of cameras and people into the paddock so she’s rarely left a second to breathe from Thursday to Sunday.
Olivia arrives back at her hotel later in the afternoon and immediately collapses onto her bed. As much of a blessing her job is, she’s always incredibly exhausted by the end of the day, both mentally and physically.
The normal routine takes place for her after she gets in the door. The routinely meal has been ordered to her door via room service and will arrive shortly before as hops in the shower quickly and changes into something more comfortable.
She has to say this is probably one of her favourite things about her job. Getting to travel the world and try out every room service while chilling by herself and catching up on social media sounds like the perfectly ideal life to her.
The car ride home was a full on debrief for Macklin and Will, taking about everything that happened during hot laps as that was the only time they were apart from each other. “Dude it was crazy, how could they possibly go that fast?” Will’s still baffled at the speed of the cars. “Yeah I know, and it’s no where near as fast as they normally go” Macklin replies as they get out of the car after parking at the back of the fancy hotel. “You’re lucky you get Olivia Wilson bro, she seems so nice.” Will starts “I mean, don’t get me wrong Max is a super cool guy, championship leader and all, but he was a little closed off with me. You and Olivia hit it off it seems” he questions looking at Mack as they walk into the building. “Yeah I guess. She’s really cool I couldn’t believe I was in a car with her.” He makes Will laugh, he can tell his best friend finds her attractive, he always has.
The two boys are very used to sharing a hotel room by now with all of the away games that take place throughout the year, except the rooms are not usually this large. “This is bigger than an apartment” Macklin says looking around the rooms. He’s never been more happy to know he’s not the one paying for this after their stay.
“Order some room service Mack, I’m gonna take a shower” will says grabbing stuff from his bags along with a towel and making his way into the abnormally large bathroom the two of them will be sharing.
Ordering and making his decision on what bed he will reside in for the next few days, Macklin sits with his back on the headboard and begins to go through his phone, replying to whatever he’s missed throughout the day.
Clicking on Instagram he does the usual viewing of story’s and liking of posts when his eyes widen at a certain name he wasn’t ever expecting to see in his notifications. “Oh shit”
2012-2013 Lewis era, angst, childhood friend to situationship to enemies, two spiteful people, no making up(no comfort) (maybe if i feel nice), reader and Lewis teammates at McLaren, writer wasn’t into f1 in 2013 so if it’s historically incorrect take it up with history, Lewis being a bit cold, reader being attached, reader canonically a year or two younger than Lewis sooo yeaaa, foul language idk BISEXUAL READER
Pt.2
‘Lewis Hamilton to transfer to Mercedes.’
‘Hamilton’s shocking move to Mercedes’
‘Sergio Perez moves to McLaren, Lewis to Mercedes.’
‘Schumacher’s response to Lewis’s move’
Silence filled my hotel room. The soft light from the moon gleamed through the fluttering curtains. I sat on the edge of my bed waiting, with my hands in my lap. My eyes focused on the phone in my room. He’ll surely call. After all the affection, the years spent together, I had to find out about the transfer he made behind everyone's back through the media. That was painful enough, so surely, he’ll call. Surely with everything we went through, he’ll show enough consideration just to tell me. The air stilled with a sort of anticipation. Every noise or creak only made it more intense. How was he not satisfied? A championship under his belt wasn’t enough? The endless fights for the podiums and the wild parties after achieving it seemingly weren’t enough? When the outlets broke the story of his transfer, I called everyone, fact-checking it because surely he would tell me? I mean, how do you not tell someone you loved on and sunk into completely after the wild parties that you transferred? Finally, the pigeon arrived at my window. I took a sharp breath to perhaps calm my nerves. I grabbed my phone seeing that I wasn't losing my mind. His name was attached to a message that sat on top of everything else. The top of the mail being delivered. The only difference between this and a letter is I couldn't just toss it in the trash if I didn't like what was in it. I contemplated maybe just shooing the pigeon away and swiped away the message. But nonetheless I clicked into the message.
“I assume you have seen the articles.” His message read almost as if he were speaking to a journalist—a pr response. That was it? All this waiting and for nothing more than seven words.
“Why? When were you going to tell me?” I typed back in a rushed manner. Too eager as always, too available as everyone would tell me when I willingly moved out of the way for Lew on the track. I always wanted him to succeed, and, also being a team player, it was easy to put him first. He was always one above me, not that it mattered to me. I never cared that he was always taller than me on the podiums. I never cared when he lifted the trophy because I always got a smaller one. Though my therapist always preaches that my self worth should be higher I could never put myself first. Not even trying.
“I was waiting for the right moment.” His message pops up like a jack-in-the-box. It doesn't offer any comfort or reassurance. I knew how Lewis functioned. He doesn't wait. Not on the track, not with his lifestyle, not with anyone he loves, and definitely not with me. He conquered , fought, and took anything and everything he wanted. All decided in the split second where everyone blinked. He was impulsive for better or worse. It won races but never won relationships for him.
“Was that when you just felt like it? When everyone found out but me? When it was convenient for you?” I texted back in strings right after the other. Lewis left. He left us behind and took a seat next to the blond golden boy. Nico. I didn't hate Nico. I just had a feeling that he took a spot I was once in.. It wouldn't be a podium if Nico weren’t always there with us. The sun shone, and he seemed to absorb and glow with it. I was insane! I kept doing this. I keep opening up to him just for him to hurt me worse than before. Insanity at its finest. I glared evermore at the small bubble showing the thought Lew was giving into his message. I waited for it. I watched it appear and disappear as a sort of annoyance built in me. He could never confront his feelings or anyone's at this point. He closed himself off and took people in when he suddenly broke down. Maybe he was the insane one.
I shut off my phone and settled back in the soft cushion of my hotel bed. Japan was tomorrow and after that, there were many more races. I couldn't lose even a drop of sleep over Lewis’s ego. I moved under the cover, lay against the soft pillows, and pulled the sheets to my chin. Even with my mind running as fast as a V8 engine my eyes slowly started getting heavy and the buzzing of my phone alerts shushed me to sleep.
“Wake up!” I jumped awake from the slumber that took me captive and was greeted by pounding and shouts at my door. The voice was familiar and could be identified as my one and only manager. I groaned as she then infiltrated my room. “Extra key card,” She said with a chuckle and closed the door behind her. Lew’s dad recommended her when I first got into Formula One and in between all the media training. Everything seemed to tie back to Lewis, but how could I assume otherwise? Since the moment I set foot in England, we've been attached at the hip.
“I’m sorry sweetheart…but I'll only be a bit. Just stay here, he's my friend.” My father softly cooed as I clung desperately to his leg. It was my first time in a foreign country and my father needed to fill out some paperwork regarding our extended stay. He wanted me to compete in European karting. He wanted me in Formula One, not NASCAR. I was six though and had the worst lisp in the history of lisps. I whined as my father tried to pull away from me again. Anthony giggled softly at my defiance which made me cocked my head towards him. I frowned as I saw him but then I saw the young boy behind him. He was peaking out and eyeing me. I instantly got intrigued by the older boy. I took a step forward and finally let go of my father.
“What’s your name?” I said curiously looking into the boy’s deep brown eyes. It was all-consuming like the masses of forests. I wanted to know more about him. He felt safe.
“Lewis…” He said softly and edged closer to me. There was a spark we shared and from there I didn’t notice my dad leaving. The rest of the day Lewis and I played in his room talking all about Formula One and my old home.
“Up! Up princess!” I groaned and whined as her voice pierced through my ears making me sit up. The jetlag was terrible even with so many years flyings. I stretched and rubbed my eyes. My hair curling and nesting into knots and tangles created by the pillow. I yawned annoyingly loud before huffing a chuckle as Reba threw a pillow at me.
“I heard you, Reba…”I mumbled with still much exhaustion in my voice. She took strides across the room with excitement to open the blinds. I watched her lost in thought,wondering how I could look Lew in the eye during practice or even see him. As Reba opened the blinds, I groaned as the sun burned my eyes and I moved to grab my phone. Reba hummed softly coming over to place my coffee at the night stand. I moved my legs over the edge and looked down at my phone seeing one notification from Lew. How could I not click it?
“I'm sorry.” Two simple words that seemed insufficient. It was like putting one sheet of toilet paper on a bleeding gash. My fingers hovered over the keyboard but in the end I decided not to waste my energy or headspace on him right now. I took a much needed breath and pushed myself off the bed onto my feet.I allowed a moment for myself before making my way into the bathroom.
“We have to do media today,” Reba said leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. Her eyes were trained on the tablet in front of her. I wanted to glare holes into that small device that wrote my weeks.I walked to the sink unzipping the small bag that held most of all my hygiene products.
“I did that…on media day?” I questioned looking at myself in the mirror, not bothering to look at Reba. I threw cold water on my face and leaned on the sink so it wouldn't drip onto the floor. I shivered slightly from the temperature of the water and reached into the bag for a cleanser. I made small circles rubbing the studs into my skin.
“Yes but since Lewis decided to move at the start of a race week McLaren needs a statement from you. Something about making sure they won't lose both of their drivers and it wasn't on them.” Reba calmly said with too much emphasis on making her sentence sound slow. Like if she was talking to a child.I sometimes like to think she is since of all the kindness she shared towards me. But the playfulness of her words lifted some pressure from my shoulders.
I tched my tongue and rolled my eyes acting with dramatics. My hand cupped water rinsing the soap off with a soothing motion. “Okay! No need for the extras.” I said with playful annoyance as I started brushing my teeth. The moment of silence had something to say. A sort of tension holding the air up. I could tell Reba wanted to ask and soon I knew she would. I cupped water to clean my mouth as I put my toothbrush in its proper place. I stood against the sink for a moment, slightly hunched over and my hands gripping the edge.
“Do you want to talk about it…?” Her voice came softly. Sympathetic. I knew she cared because she was always there after a hard race or overexpecting reporter. I shut my eyes and took a breath in. I never shared it with anyone else. Always keep the weight of everything stuffed into the bones of my clavicle.
“I…” I paused and looked over to her, seeing her concerned face. It made my heart ache to see her concerned for me so deeply. She was the only real person I had. I sighed and turned around resting my lower back on the edge of the sink. “Last race…when Lewis dnfed…he came to my room…” I said very slowly before continuing, “We slept together…” I whispered out and slouched in defeat. I heard her gasp softly and I knew I was more than cooked.
“No…Lewis and you?” She mumbled softly and took everything in. “You guys…you guys slept with each other?” She asked quite bluntly and I nodded my head. She stepped into the bathroom and held my shoulders. “Are you…?” She hesitantly asked.
“No…not completely. I don’t know…I like both.” I mumbled not being able to look her in the eyes. I shook my head and bit my bottom lip. She was the first person I ever came out to and I couldn't tell if I was relieved to get it out or not. The air stilled for a moment and my heart was jumping out of my chest.
“Hey…hey…don’t worry. Thank you for telling me…” Ruba said and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on her shoulder and slowly teared up. “I won’t judge you.” She assured me and petted my hair. I didn't want to leave her arms but I knew we had a schedule to follow. My arms wrapped around her tighter in defiance, though. My breaths turned uneven and I was so relieved. I was accepted, not by many but by one. I was out to a person that knew me. My eyes teared up slightly and I burrowed my face further into her jacket. “I’m proud of you…” She whispered to me and rubbed my head gently. I started sobbing into her arms so overcome with an accomplishment like feeling It was scary in this world. Scary in the paddock being different then all the others. All the men that sponsor you, ready to strip it away once you don't align with their view. Our hug parted and her smile was bigger than mine. I chuckled happily and she cupped my cheeks.
“Thank you…”I said and started wiping my tears. My all so tough persona was gone within a minute. Not that I did a lot to keep it up.
“Now as your PR agent we have so much to talk about…” She said and I saw the plans in her head forming. The deals and all the celebrity collabs. I got exhausted just thinking about it but it came with the job. She started piecing things together while I went to relax under the stream of hot water.
Once I was washed up I threw on the first things I found in my suitcase which were a team shirt and fitted jeans. It was far too hot to even worry about a jacket so I grabbed my phone and coffee, making my way out with Reba. I chatted with her as she asked far too many questions about the relationship between Lew and me. It made me giggle in all honesty. It made me feel like I did have something serious with him and not just something he hid away. The feeling dissipated the moment we stepped out of the hotel and the reporters were already there to greet me. The flashing and sudden shouts were something I could never get used to.
“Over here! What is your opinion about the Lewis transfer?! Over he-Give us a smile! What about your ex comme-Is she really pregnant?!” Each shout and question was always followed by the flash of their cameras and the overwhelming clicks and shutter of them. Luckily security escorted Reba and me to our car with ease. I took a deep breath once my butt hit the soft seat of my 2012 McLaren MP4-12C.
“They’re something, aren't they?” I mumbled, shaking my head and grabbing the keys Reba handed me. Of course, I had left them behind. I mumbled a soft thanks and turned over the key hearing the engine purr awake. It brought a smile to my face leaving the crowd behind. “She started rumors I assume?” I asked Reba, keeping my eyes focused on the road. I never dated the woman and in fact, I often avoided her. She stuck herself to me sadly for a unseenable reason. Now it was clear she wanted money.
“Nothing you have to worry about…She admitted to lying about it.” Reba said, scrolling through her phone as if it would tell her the answers to everything. “If asked, tell the truth. No need for a cover-up.” Reba said, shrugging and sipping on the pure black steamed beans that she called coffee. I cringed imagining the bitter taste as I sipped on my sweetened latte. I nodded my head and placed my drink back into the cup holder. It was a smooth drive from my hotel to the track. It was always nice seeing the scenery of Suzuka. Slowly that scenery turned into the crowds of people and the parking spot I was assigned. The paddock was a space where I thrived. I felt comfortable walking alongside fans and co-workers. The soft chattering and the eagerness of a young fan to get a signature warmed my heart. Nothing could ruin the warmth I got, unless it was someone. Someone who was Lewis Hamilton and made the crowd move to his will. His presence attracted everyone and as much as I hated it, I was too. I heard the chatter increase as he moved through the crowd. I was going to turn around or hide but I just kept walking trying to stay strong. Was it wrong for me to say even after him practically abandoning me I only wanted his attention? I wanted him to only look at me like the way he looked at his trophies…and at Nico. He had so much affection for both of those things that it seemed unfair. I was there before he was. I jumped slightly when Reba put her hand on my lower back pushing me along. I was confused until I looked at her. Her eyes were trained to the side and I caught his eyes. Lewis’s eyes. The deep ones that were always kind towards everything. They showed concern and I could see him stumble over his words as he was talking to his father. My heart ached a bit but I pulled myself away from his gaze and kept moving. I needed to focus on the media right now. Not the person who was making me have the media. I brought the straw of my drink to my lips seeing Whitmarsh standing at the door looking stressed as I would assume.
“There you are! They are waiting for you..now just speak about how good the team is…the car is good. All the crap the media needs to hear.” Whitmarsh said while patting my shoulder and pushing me closer to the door leading to the media bar. Talk, I did. It was clear to anyone that I was passionate about McLaren, more than anything. It was my team and my home since the start. Even if the car was faulty I praised it because in the end it paid for everything I own. I knew better and I had a brand to protect. Once I was done I thanked the reporters and walked back to Reba. She was talking on the phone with god who knows but she gestured to the time letting me know I had to hit the pit. The pits, the one place I had to admit to hating. Lewis would be there. I let out a conflicting sigh and walked to my garage. It was just practice, it can't go that bad.
Thank youuu for reading!! I hope you enjoyed! I took so long to post this because I was reading through it again and was fixing grammar but I know I still missed somethings...Pt.2 coming soon?
