I'm always so tragic

my sisters daughter is long, weighs two pounds, is furry and enjoys causing trouble

[liberalsarecool]

Cops should lose jobs and paychecks. The only way to change is through money.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

How do you feel about pickles?

My mom used to buy those huge jars full of giant pickles. These guys:

When I was 3 years old, I got into the fridge, somehow got into a brand new jar (we have no idea how) and ate every single pickle and drank all the juice.

Ignoring how I opened the jar or fit that many pickles into my toddler stomach, my mom scolded me and told me other people have a right to pickles too. She said I can't eat ALL of one item in the fridge.

She replaced the jar, and I got THAT one open too, I removed a single pickle and set it aside, and I ate all the others, drank all the juice, and stuck the single sad lone pickle back into the empty jar.

My dad Never got over this. He brought it up any chance he got.

I like pickles though yeah.

[juicewrld]

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

[trashboat]

I literally cannot stop watching this

[trashboat]

why is this not the most sensational thing on this website? nobody is talking about it. like is there a better video of a cat hitting a whip hard enough to snap my spine

[stability]

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

[theconcealedweapon]

[glittermud]

reblog if you respect a janitor way more than a CEO

[ratpotatoez]

A baby!

[thisisusedits]

Maybe we can talk about my proposal, if there’s time? Oh, Batman would love nothing more, Robin. Can I be someone other than Robin? I mean, he looks Asian, but he isn’t Asian. Amadeus Cho, maybe. Sure, buddy. You can be Amadeus Cho.

[thisisusedits]

I mean, even when they don’t know what’s going on, Randall and Beth are just there. That’s one thing that’s really cool about this house.

[ranaway-tonewyork]

No one:

Absolutely No one:

The Politician: So, Payton will be almost assassinated but they’ll use uhhhh *checks hand*.... a bb gun and sepsis

[evanhobart]

“What is he doing here?” “He’s your new Mandarin tutor.”

[samcahntent]

Can’t call it Jackass unfortunately

[whitepeopletwitter]

[melonmemes]

[depsidase]

[inappropriatehistory]

[evanhobart]

“How’d you get me to be vulnerable like that? I’m never like that.” “Well, it’s just kind of a thing I do with people.”