Wise Enough To Play The Fool

An exercise in critique and accountability.

[feste-the-jester]

A Definition of Literary Critique:

1. Critique is a literary technique that means to critically evaluate a piece of literary work, or a political or philosophical theory in detail. A critique could be a critical essay, an article evaluating a literary piece, or a review. It may be just like a summary that identifies the central issue, raises questions, takes notice of theoretical and experimental approaches, and reviews the significance of the results. Apart from that, its purpose is to highlight both the shortcomings as well as strengths of a literary piece or a work of art. Moreover, critical evaluation or assessment requires sufficient knowledge about the subject matter.

2. Literary criticism is the comparison, analysis, interpretation, and/or evaluation of works of literature. Literary criticism is essentially an opinion, supported by evidence, relating to theme, style, setting or historical or political context. It usually includes discussion of the work’s content and integrates your ideas with other insights gained from research. Literary criticism may have a positive or a negative bias and may be a study of an individual piece of literature or an author’s body of work.

Although criticism may include some of the following elements in order to support an idea, literary criticism is NOT a plot summary, a biography of the author, or simply finding fault with the literature.

[feste-the-jester]

Something, something, “Simon is ableist and does not listen to feedback from marginalised people”

(Screencaps from the Fool’s blog)

Incidentally, the myth of Narcissus obviously predates the disorder, but the term “narcissist” was coined to describe disturbed psychology. It was first used in 1899 by Paul Näcke and by Freud in 1914.

Also:

And let’s not forget this:

Talking about “crazy” and “lame”:

“To be completely clear, lame is a slur. There are countless others out there, but this word in particular seems to be forgiven or forgotten more than any others.”

“Words have meaning. When you say the disappointing things in your life are “lame,” you’re putting them on par with my own ability level. You’re telling me, in so many ways, that I’m disappointing and not good enough. I hear enough from politicians, pundits, and boomer op-ed authors day-in and day-out that my status as a queer, disabled, woman of color is a drain on society. I don’t need to hear it from the people who are supposed to be on my side, from those who otherwise “get it.”

These words are written by a disabled woman who uses a cane to walk, by the way.

Wait… Who was it that reblogged this?

I wonder if we should expect an apology… Or an admission of double standards.

We can but hope.

[feste-the-jester]

If anyone ever needed proof that the Fool is doing it for the bullying and the drama, here it is.

Just the joy of constantly picking on your target, regardless of what he is doing. Everything else is garnish.

[sparklyemojiheart]

god imagine telling someone with a career in it to "be sure to look up ethnographic research". id be so embarassed id delete my blog. i think im getting secondhand embarassment rn actually

To be fair, she didn't know that part. All I'd said up until that point was that I work in a social science. I think her response was condescending but I'm not going to expect her to know I'm an anthropologist when up until then I'd gone out of my way to avoid saying what specific field I was in.

I will however acknowledge that she didn't do the research she told the rest of us to do since it actually kind of proved my point.

[feste-the-jester]

I did actually do quite a lot of googling, which I felt supported my point. But maybe I misinterpreted if (and I should try to find it again.) And no, I obviously didn’t know this was your field of study.

I shouldn’t have gotten into this anyway, I got carried away. Whether Simon’s study is valid or not is not really the subject of this blog.

[keysmashabby]

Seeing @simonalkenmayerisdead talk trash about Kristina’s rights to be in the LGBTQ community is also cringey and problematic. You don’t know them or their story. You don’t know what they’ve been a part of or how. You just think that because they didn’t change their name or insist on specific pronouns they’re not gay enough. That they’re calling themself a member of the community for clout. That is so fucking disgusting.

I actually went and asked them (turns out they prefer they/them but also are ok with she/her so I’m going to do the right thing and use the right pronouns) , because their email is on their fucking website. You want to know what their story is? You could ask them yourself but you’re not interested in it. So fuck you I’ll shove it down your throat.

Kristina Meister (who prefers to go by Kris to all their family and friends, but uses Kristina as a publishing name because they were published literally over a decade ago when that type of thing was what you did) has known they were bisexual for as long as they could remember. Their first romantic experience was with a girl in grade school. They have never felt male or female and have always told their family to think of them as “in-between” even before the word “non binary” existed. Since the age of four, back in what the mid 80s? Which they say was very difficult because their family was conservative Christian and it has been a constant struggle to get them to accept Kris’ gender identity and their sexuality. They were constantly bullied for it in school and in college were a member of the campus LGBTQ organization where theu participated in protests and shit to get rights for the LGBTQ+ community. Theu married their best friend who they met at 11 who also happens to be gender non-conforming, not that it matters. Kris says they’ve had more AFAB partners than AMAB and even NB and trans. They have always written “gay fiction” but there wasn’t a market for it, and they had to struggle with editors who wanted to change what they wrote. They had to work with small presses to make sure that they were even allowed to write what they wanted for the people they cared about. They were on the ground level of hybrid publishing for representation.

Cinderella Boy won an award for a good reason, because it talked about what it meant to be confused and non-conforming, and as Kris said in an interview, the main plot of the story, about the high school banning gay people from prom, happened to them. Kris didn’t go to prom.

So fuck you and your gate keeping of the queer community. You have no right to say that no one else struggled. You have no right to say that your gay or trans is the only way. You don’t know what Kris has been through or how they fought for people just like you. Not everyone can deal with name changes or pronoun shifts and not every story is smooth or problem free. For all you assholes in Isdead’s crowd who want to talk shit about an award winning author who worked for their rights and representation and say their story doesn’t matter, isn’t enough to qualify,? You owe everyone an apology. It doesn’t matter I guess that their editor was a trans woman or that the editor-in-chief of Riptide is a lesbian, like how “gay” does a person or story or book have to be for you? It’s not enough that Kris got bullied by all the straight cis people, but also has to be bullied by you fucks? All you had to do was ask. All you had to do was investigate or be objective like you say you are but no you don’t do you? You have your opinion and you just have to be right.

How many people in the community are you going to trash just so you can be right? How are you ok with tearing down your own just so you can make your point? How wrong are you going to behave to “do what’s right”? Go write your own book and get it published and see how fast you can run because people like Kristina Meister walked through it with a machete cutting a path.

You talk so much about Simon being controlling and manipulative but you don’t have a conscience. He doesn’t joke about your trans-ness. He doesn’t trash your way of life, but here you are thinking you know what’s what and doing that to someone else. It’s really sick.

Check yourself and have the courage to say you are fucking wrong when you are or you end up looking way worse than anything you say you’re fighting.

[feste-the-jester]

I’ve never actually spoken to Kristina, so I’m reblogging this for the record.

[simonalkenmayer]

I’m told there’s some chatter about the ethics of my study here.

There’s a disclaimer for those who decide to follow along. Following is consent to follow. The consent form to participate in the survey is filling out the survey. I don’t need consent to use any publicly posted information. So if you don’t want me to use your blog posts or interactions in my study...don’t have any. If you don’t want to be held up in a study as an example of egregious psychological decline on a social media website...then don’t be a bully. If you don’t want me to discuss you, then don’t be noteworthy on a public forum. If you don’t fill out a survey, I can’t use the data. If you don’t interact with me, or victimize me on your blog, I have no reason to pay any attention to you. I don’t even have to legally obscure your names, because not a one of you uses their real name anyway. I will, but I don’t have to because your privacy isn’t breeched. The only person I know of who is entirely honest about their name here is Kristina, whose name you’ve seen fit to steal and use to bully me, which is of course an irony that won’t be ignored in my analysis of your behavior and how it fits into the models that exist. The IP tracker I use is only for the purposes of figuring out which idiot decided to make it seem like there were fifty people who all had the same opinion. Your traffic to my site isn’t protected, because you consent to have traffic analyzed by machines and analytics on the site on a routine basis. And if I didn’t have people behaving badly, then I wouldn’t even need to look at the tracker. As for minors, I don’t use their data. And you all conveniently report your ages as being adult, so if you have a concern about being part of the study as a minor, then rest easy, because you won’t be in it.

It’s really that simple my friends, and you can disagree, but you’re wrong.

TL;DR Essentially, if you don’t want to participate in my study or be examined as a subject, don’t bully me, don’t fill out a survey, and consider also blocking me. That’s it. That’s all you have to do to responsibly ensure you’re not a part of my study in any way.

[keysmashabby]

Yup. Anyone who has ever done a survey or any kind of study knows that just taking the survey is consent. Pollsters, sociology and anthropology, psychology etc all do this.

[sparklyemojiheart]

Yeah, as stated before this is not at all how real actual studies operate in terms of consent. I don't walk into the community I'm working in and go "everybody who talks to me is consenting to be in my thesis" because that's not how consent works. There's an extensive amount of documentation for every single person outlining what they're comfortable with me including in my research and what they aren't, and they are allowed to revoke that consent at any time and request that all their existing material be pulled. That's a legally binding document that they sign and then have to verbally verify in our interviews. Without any of these factors, my research would never get approval.

The burden is not on other people to avoid being in your "study" ethically speaking. You have the burden to ensure free and consensual participation and labeling everything implicit consent like this isn't it.

Also, consenting to tumblr taking data on the terms of service does not automatically mean we consent to you personally tracking our IP addresses Jesus fucking christ. Consenting for one party to do something is not consent for a third party to do the same thing.

If any of y'all are doubting me on this, please look into the requirements for IRB approval for studies with human subjects and see for yourselves how strict it is.

[feste-the-jester]

And while you’re at it, also look up qualitative research, the ethnographic approach, how IRBs define “studies with human subjects”, categories that are exempt from IRB approval, and implied consent in the context of research.

[feste-the-jester]

So…

If someone came out and said “Simon’s real name is Kristina Meister, and she is the author of Cinderella Boy, and she lives in California, and by the way Simon/Kristina is a horrible person that abuses people and causes them harm” then that would be doxxing, right?

Which clearly was not against the Fool’s principles, since he’s been doing it repeatedly since September/October.

[wildecniht-archive]

first of all, saying “simon is kristina” is not doxxing.

second of all,

third of all, no one doxxed you, so i don’t know what you’re carrying on about. i’ve kept private everything you told me, excepting a few screenshots i shared with the fool (because he is my best friend). moreover, he’s kept private everything i did share with him. he only slipped up with your pronouns.

[feste-the-jester]

And I appreciate that! I didn’t say anyone doxed me, I said they may be intending to dox me. If the pronouns was a slip up that’s great and I’ll leave it at that.

I genuinely don’t understand how claiming to know Simon’s actual identity (and revealing it, and/or publishing asks revealing it) is not doxing.

Saying “I know Simon is really a woman called Kristina” is vague. Saying “I know Simon is Kristina Meister, author of Cinderella Boy” and using deleted Wikipedia articles etc as proof, narrows it down to one person -you can’t even say there are many people sharing that name. Only one of them is the author of Cinderella Boy. It enables anyone who has malicious intent towards Simon to look her up. How is this not doxing?

[wildecniht-archive]

okay, objectively, i still don’t see how that’s doxing. maybe it’s in a grey area, but kristina has a large enough internet presence that she’s the first thing that comes up when you google her name, with her picture in the little google knowledge panel, and her body of works listed under a bio which tells you where she lives and what her dog’s name is. she’s also simon’s editor, a fact which is published all over the internet and on her own blog.

if she isn’t simon, i do understand your concern; however, even if she isn’t, she’s involved herself in this to the point where she’s just as culpable as he is. if she didn’t want being antisemitic to be attached to her name, she shouldn’t have been antisemitic under her name on a public platform.

it really is that easy.

when this whole thing started, i did think simon just didn’t know. that was fine. lots of people just don’t know. that’s why i spoke up, because i thought that he might listen to me if i explained it to him. but he spoke over me, belittled me, and allowed his followers to pile on me. rather than just accept that it was a critique of horror fiction and not a personal attack on simon alkenmayer, simon was willfully antisemitic and cruel. it wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t even an accusation. he just saw a shovel and stared digging.

he used the incident to manipulate what happened with kristina’s fire. when it first happened, neither of them thought it had anything to do with the accusation of their antisemitism. simon suggested that it had to do with his refusal to put a content warning on his blog. they only reframed it later, when simon put up his call out post.

both kristina and simon suggested that being called antisemitic is worse than being antisemitic. they both said i should keep my mouth shut because calling someone out for being antisemitic is dangerous for the person receiving the accusation. simon even said that, actually, i was the antisemitic one, and he could prove it. they both twisted my words, put them in the fool’s mouth, and used it to try and frame him for the arson.

i understand that they understand that the fool lives in australia, but they pushed the idea that it was his blog’s existence that caused it, that him standing up to them inflamed someone to do this on his behalf. there is absolutely no proof that that is what happened and their wild conjecture was both manipulative and antisemitic. they tried, really tried, in earnest they tried, to get him in real legal trouble for it (and you even helped them, i might add)

that had me thinking, yeah, i really should keep my mouth shut, not because it might be dangerous for someone to be accused of antisemitism, but because leveling an accusation, however small, might be dangerous to me or someone that i love.

and now, there’s this push for me to dox myself. apparently, nothing i have to say is of any value if i don’t. kristina is undeniably more privileged than i am. she is well-off, she is white, she has lawyers on retainer and police officers in her family. i’m sorry, but i heard her dog whistle. you guys already tried to hurt my friend, why would i share anything with you?

[feste-the-jester]

Look, I acknowledge what you’re saying. In this instance I’m just talking about doxing -the allegations of antisemitism, arson and so on are a different matter. While I don’t agree with your interpretation of everything (I do agree with some,) I recognise that it’s a very important issue (to you personally and also in general) and I don’t want to get into it because I don’t want to say something clumsy and cause more harm than good.

I can’t judge whether you’re more privileged than Kristina or not -I don’t know either of you, I don’t know where you live, and so on. I absolutely don’t think you should dox yourself, or agree with any statements along the lines of “no one cares about blood libel.” I want to make that clear right now. But I equally don’t think anyone should be doxing Kristina, Simon, or anyone else.

I don’t know what you are referring to when you say Simon tried to frame the Fool for arson. As far as I am aware what Simon has been saying is that the arson was targeting Kristina as the author of “Simon Alkenmayer” and that content such as the Fool’s blog (attributing all manner of bad things to Simon while simultaneously pointing to Kristina as being behind it all) is the sort of thing that could have made her a target. I think that’s perfectly plausible. You disagree. Ι think that even if it wasn’t actually the case, it’s something that CAN happen, and that the Fool should take it into account and monitor his content accordingly. Is calling someone antisemitic, racist, abusive etc worse than actually being antisemitic, racist or abusive? Absolutely not. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t still be dangerous, or make them a target.

You look at the Fool’s blog and you see your friend. You see Simon and his readers as trying to harm your friend, and your experience with him tells you that he is a good person who doesn’t deserve to be targeted. I look at the Fool’s blog and I see someone trying to harm my friend, who I think is a good person. Not everyone has to agree, or believe in the good intentions of Simon (or the Fool) and I try to be as objective as I can. I try to refute facts, not feelings. I probably fail some of the time, but I do try. We’re not a hive-mind either; I’m not Simon, or Abby, or Cora Mae, and I don’t agree with every single thing they say or do. I am only responsible for what I post, same as you.

[feste-the-jester]

So...

If someone came out and said “Simon’s real name is Kristina Meister, and she is the author of Cinderella Boy, and she lives in California, and by the way Simon/Kristina is a horrible person that abuses people and causes them harm” then that would be doxxing, right?

Which clearly was not against the Fool’s principles, since he’s been doing it repeatedly since September/October.

[wildecniht-archive]

first of all, saying “simon is kristina” is not doxxing.

second of all,

third of all, no one doxxed you, so i don’t know what you’re carrying on about. i’ve kept private everything you told me, excepting a few screenshots i shared with the fool (because he is my best friend). moreover, he’s kept private everything i did share with him. he only slipped up with your pronouns.

[feste-the-jester]

And I appreciate that! I didn’t say anyone doxed me, I said they may be intending to dox me. If the pronouns was a slip up that’s great and I’ll leave it at that.

I genuinely don’t understand how claiming to know Simon’s actual identity (and revealing it, and/or publishing asks revealing it) is not doxing.

Saying “I know Simon is really a woman called Kristina” is vague. Saying “I know Simon is Kristina Meister, author of Cinderella Boy” and using deleted Wikipedia articles etc as proof, narrows it down to one person -you can’t even say there are many people sharing that name. Only one of them is the author of Cinderella Boy. It enables anyone who has malicious intent towards Simon to look her up. How is this not doxing?

[feste-the-jester]

So...

If someone came out and said “Simon’s real name is Kristina Meister, and she is the author of Cinderella Boy, and she lives in California, and by the way Simon/Kristina is a horrible person that abuses people and causes them harm” then that would be doxxing, right?

Which clearly was not against the Fool’s principles, since he’s been doing it repeatedly since September/October.

[sparklyemojiheart]

Going to say this up front: I do believe that Simon was sexually harassed. The screenshot below is cropped largely because I'd like to take this opportunity to discuss research ethics as somebody who has a degree in [redacted social science]. I'm not going to dispute or try to defend the sexual harassment and neither should any of you.

Eros' behavior as described in the rest of the reply is out of line and indefensible. However, even the idea of refusing to let somebody leave your experiment after they have revoked their consent is unethical to the point of invalidating your entire experiment. Real experiments, the ones that get published and peer reviewed go through rigorous ethics protocol including what I can personally assure you is a maddening amount of paperwork. The idea of automatically including people in your research without any consent forms already violates that, but continuing to include them after they have asked to leave us just beyond unjustifiable from a research standpoint.

[feste-the-jester]

Just to clarify, Eros asking to be “let out of the experiment” is him asking for a relationship with Simon, and/or to have access to Simon’s real identity. (Simon always refused to reveal identifying information, provide pictures etc because it would “compromise the experiment” and the people in his life who know more about him are referred to as being “out of the experiment.” ) In this context, “Would you consider letting me out of the experiment” means “Would you consider making our relationship more intimate.”

[feste-the-jester]

Funny, I’ve always been “he” or “they” to the Fool until now. What is this? A “hint” that he’s figured me out? A “nod” to the person he believes is wearing Feste’s mask?

I’d say it’s beneath him to try and strip someone’s persona off like that, but he’s been calling Simon “Kristina” and -the subtle- “she” long before any proof (real or imagined) was available.

I hope the Fool has more class than to try and dox me too. But if he does, well... Being Feste is useful for keeping everything in one place and reasonably tidy. I’ve never said, and I would never say, anything as Feste that I wouldn’t also say wearing my real name.

[feste-the-jester]

Yes, I remember that conversation, which I had in good faith (regardless of what you might think or claim.) The issue isn’t whether or not the Fool knows who I am; the issue is why he decided to start dropping hints about it now.

I’d rather my main blog remain separate from Feste, but if it doesn’t, so be it. It’s probably a matter of time anyway, and I have told the Fool as much. There are people who know who I am already, and some of them are even the Fool’s followers.

As to what I’ve ever done to be called “a troll” -well. Objective I may not be (the Fool makes a good point there) but at least I try to be balanced, and only post facts. Not to mention I’ve never tried to dox anyone, and I apologise when I see that I am wrong. Can’t win them all.

[feste-the-jester]

Funny, I’ve always been “he” or “they” to the Fool until now. What is this? A “hint” that he’s figured me out? A “nod” to the person he believes is wearing Feste’s mask?

I’d say it’s beneath him to try and strip someone’s persona off like that, but he’s been calling Simon “Kristina” and -the subtle- “she” long before any proof (real or imagined) was available.

I hope the Fool has more class than to try and dox me too. But if he does, well... Being Feste is useful for keeping everything in one place and reasonably tidy. I’ve never said, and I would never say, anything as Feste that I wouldn’t also say wearing my real name.

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

So Kristana's medical advice when I was having panic attacks was to push doctors to give me a prescription for a beta blocker. And I did, largely ignoring the risks I was told of. I got a prescription for ativan. 3 weeks later when I ran out I went through major withdrawals. Now I'm an adult and I'm responsible for all but begging the doctors for a highly addictive medication when I knew I was bipolar and needed meds for that. I was desperate for the panic attacks to stop and thought ativan was the answer. No one is responsible for that but me. But I do doubt that I would've thought to push the doctors for it if I hadn't listened to Kristina's advice via Simon. And I do not think it was at all appropriate for her to advice me to push doctors into giving me a highly addictive substance

See this has always been my problem with Simon (and Kristina by extension).  This blog was really just a bit of nothing when it started, until I saw her telling people to ignore their doctor’s advice.

If you have a popular blog then maybe people will ask your advice about that stuff, and the responsible thing to do even if you are a doctor is to say you can’t diagnose them over the internet.

[feste-the-jester]

I’m not posting this to prove any kind of point, but just for the sake of clarity (since confusing drugs can be very dangerous.)

Ativan is NOT a beta-blocker. Ativan (generic name lorazepam) is a benzodiazepine, which is a completely different group of drugs. Lorazepam is absolutely addictive, and MUST be stopped gradually (withdrawals from it can involve seizures, hallucinations, short term memory loss and a whole lot more.) Beta blockers are NOT addictive, but sudden withdrawal after chronic treatment can cause heart palpitations and increase in blood pressure -which is more dangerous for patients prescribed them due to heart disease. I didn’t find any information on side effects after just 3 weeks of beta blockers, but I’m not quite sure what counts as chronic treatment here. (I’m also obviously not privy to OPs medical information or any specific issues they may have that would make beta blocker withdrawal especially dangerous.)

Like I said this isn’t supposed to be a Gotcha or anything like that, but obviously some kind of wires were crossed here.

[feste-the-jester]

Oh and, Eros, if you see this:

You are absolutely right to block me if seeing my posts affects your mental health.

But- if me visiting your blog and clarifying a mistake (as gently as I could, being careful to not accuse you -because, believe it or not, I understand what trying to get your mental health under control is like, and I’ve kept largely out of this out of consideration to that) causes you so much anxiety that you block me, perhaps you should consider why you think it’s fine for the Fool to continue visiting and reposting Simon’s blog despite being blocked, or why you think it’s fine to make numerous new accounts and send repeated messages to bully Simon or Kristina.

I suspect if someone did that to you, you would be extremely distressed. But it’s ok to do it to them?

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

So Kristana's medical advice when I was having panic attacks was to push doctors to give me a prescription for a beta blocker. And I did, largely ignoring the risks I was told of. I got a prescription for ativan. 3 weeks later when I ran out I went through major withdrawals. Now I'm an adult and I'm responsible for all but begging the doctors for a highly addictive medication when I knew I was bipolar and needed meds for that. I was desperate for the panic attacks to stop and thought ativan was the answer. No one is responsible for that but me. But I do doubt that I would've thought to push the doctors for it if I hadn't listened to Kristina's advice via Simon. And I do not think it was at all appropriate for her to advice me to push doctors into giving me a highly addictive substance

See this has always been my problem with Simon (and Kristina by extension).  This blog was really just a bit of nothing when it started, until I saw her telling people to ignore their doctor’s advice.

If you have a popular blog then maybe people will ask your advice about that stuff, and the responsible thing to do even if you are a doctor is to say you can’t diagnose them over the internet.

[feste-the-jester]

I’m not posting this to prove any kind of point, but just for the sake of clarity (since confusing drugs can be very dangerous.)

Ativan is NOT a beta-blocker. Ativan (generic name lorazepam) is a benzodiazepine, which is a completely different group of drugs. Lorazepam is absolutely addictive, and MUST be stopped gradually (withdrawals from it can involve seizures, hallucinations, short term memory loss and a whole lot more.) Beta blockers are NOT addictive, but sudden withdrawal after chronic treatment can cause heart palpitations and increase in blood pressure -which is more dangerous for patients prescribed them due to heart disease. I didn’t find any information on side effects after just 3 weeks of beta blockers, but I’m not quite sure what counts as chronic treatment here. (I’m also obviously not privy to OPs medical information or any specific issues they may have that would make beta blocker withdrawal especially dangerous.)

Like I said this isn’t supposed to be a Gotcha or anything like that, but obviously some kind of wires were crossed here.

[feste-the-jester]

Who’s being disingenuous now?! I didn’t quibble about anything. I SPECIFICALLY said I was posting for clarity, and that wires were crossed, and that this wasn’t a Gotcha.

If Eros heard/misunderstood/whatever the case may be -it doesn’t really matter- that Ativan is a beta blocker, and insisted that his doctor prescribes it, does it occur to you that someone else may read this post and perpetuate the same mistake? Confusing drugs is dangerous, so I corrected that mistake. But that’s bad now, because the Fool doesn’t like me, so anything I do is malicious by default.

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

So Kristana's medical advice when I was having panic attacks was to push doctors to give me a prescription for a beta blocker. And I did, largely ignoring the risks I was told of. I got a prescription for ativan. 3 weeks later when I ran out I went through major withdrawals. Now I'm an adult and I'm responsible for all but begging the doctors for a highly addictive medication when I knew I was bipolar and needed meds for that. I was desperate for the panic attacks to stop and thought ativan was the answer. No one is responsible for that but me. But I do doubt that I would've thought to push the doctors for it if I hadn't listened to Kristina's advice via Simon. And I do not think it was at all appropriate for her to advice me to push doctors into giving me a highly addictive substance

See this has always been my problem with Simon (and Kristina by extension).  This blog was really just a bit of nothing when it started, until I saw her telling people to ignore their doctor’s advice.

If you have a popular blog then maybe people will ask your advice about that stuff, and the responsible thing to do even if you are a doctor is to say you can’t diagnose them over the internet.

[feste-the-jester]

I’m not posting this to prove any kind of point, but just for the sake of clarity (since confusing drugs can be very dangerous.)

Ativan is NOT a beta-blocker. Ativan (generic name lorazepam) is a benzodiazepine, which is a completely different group of drugs. Lorazepam is absolutely addictive, and MUST be stopped gradually (withdrawals from it can involve seizures, hallucinations, short term memory loss and a whole lot more.) Beta blockers are NOT addictive, but sudden withdrawal after chronic treatment can cause heart palpitations and increase in blood pressure -which is more dangerous for patients prescribed them due to heart disease. I didn’t find any information on side effects after just 3 weeks of beta blockers, but I’m not quite sure what counts as chronic treatment here. (I’m also obviously not privy to OPs medical information or any specific issues they may have that would make beta blocker withdrawal especially dangerous.)

Like I said this isn’t supposed to be a Gotcha or anything like that, but obviously some kind of wires were crossed here.

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

I’m going to be straight with you, because this situation is getting painful to watch and I feel like you need a massive wake up call. I’ve followed Simon for a couple years and as a sociology student, what he’s done is actually pretty cool. Think about it. He’s built an identity that is basically guaranteed to piss off someone: no established gender roles, engaged in a serious taboo (eating humans), won’t tell you if he’s real or not, disputes all religions and paranormal ideological frameworks, polite but dismissive of the small shit people think is so important, being an ancient monster (fucking inspired because he’s got the otherkin, the monster fuckers, the fear factor for people who believe, and the ego-trippers who hate the idea of a know-it-all) and even the way he talks! That syntax, it’s going to grab every person who gets annoyed by that. The “Do you like Simon” question on his survey is pretty much proof. He’s built a persona that is litmus testing responses, and it’s obvious from the stuff he’s been writing on his website that he’s got to be studying either group dynamics on social media or some overlap to evolutionary psychology. If that’s the case then the different social media accounts are for comparison and the discord thing was obviously a chance to study a smaller group of people sharing in a set of norms. I knew it had to be sociology, and GD is sociology but I wasn’t sure where it was going, and now I get it.

I’m trying to say gently that to everyone just hanging out, you come off as not only no objective but completely obsessed and trying your hardest to be negative and justify it. I’m caught up on the drama and bullshit and the amount of hypocrisy you’ve dished is large because every single thing you say he’s doing is stuff you’re doing, but you won’t acknowledge it because you can’t be wrong. I know you’re not going to publish this publicly but I’m writing this to give you a serious heads-up. You’re playing right into it. He’s studying you and how all of you are twisting yourself in knots to target and harass someone who triggers you for whatever reason, but was basically designed to. The way he was doing it was completely safe, because in his construct there’s no association with real world things; he doesn’t exist, so everything done to him is basically a pure response. Now though it’s just getting stupid You talk about this construct like it’s a fallen god, and you’re trying to bring down an evil empire. Meanwhile you are exactly the thing he was waiting for and I’m telling you he’s going to make that pretty clear real soon I can feel it. I was going to let it play out and shake my head but now every single one of you is just making me cringe so hard I can’t stand it. Not to mention you’re actually interfering with the mental health of others by giving them a negative focus and encouraging them to do shitty things and justify them. Even if you don’t do it directly, by existing at all you’re just giving that behavior credence. Spamming him, accusing him of horrible stuff, bending over backward to find every tiny thing you can (never mind confirmation bias), and now there’s people talking about stalking him and setting fires and causing so much drama people are leaving the internet. Honestly you’re hurting people, because Simon’s blog is super relaxed, except for him answering the trolls, but I get why he does it the way he does. He has to keep injecting opposing information into his site to counter the self-contained reality or he can’t measure the reactions. Heads up, to the objective people, not the ones who are obsessed like you or who are looking to be assholes or even the ones who really just don’t get it and are ticked off, you’re just playing yourself. It’s getting really really hard to watch. I really feel like you need to stop and take stock because your whole blog is going to end up being a case study in the problems with human psychology.

I’ve seen you guys try to trash people who disagree with you. You’re not seriously listening. You are coming at this like someone who wants to hate this guy for whatever reason and all the shit you say is trying to prove he’s bad but you’re not thinking that maybe that’s what he wanted to see all along. Give it some thought.

[simonalkenmayeris-still-dead]

If this is all part of the experiment and I'm what Simon was waiting for, then why are you interfering by trying to get rid of me?

[keysmashabby]

Lol you guys are so stupid holy shit. Guys you’re doing deadass exactly what he said you’d do and just ignored everything I said!!!! You just did all the things you say Simon does and didn’t even blink. Lmao Every single person who disagrees with you you talk about whether or not they’re also Simon. Who is Simon?!!!

It doesn’t matter!!!!! LIKE YOU GUYS you’re not thinking clearly at all! You’re here trying to prove Simon’s a bad guy. “Accusing him of things he’s done” guys only in your heads. No one else sees it. You’re going to see bad shit in everything he says and does! That’s confirmation bias. Guys guys guys LISTEN. It doesn’t matter who he is because seriously nothing is actually wrong. You’re inventing it.

Did you ever think that maybe the person running the study isn’t a writer and so maybe he got Kristina to ghost write the books? Maybe that’s how she got connected in the first place? He needed the books to make the lore so that the fandom could form. It’s just a nucleus guys. Maybe that’s why it’s been handled so differently than basically any other publishing thing.

Guys.

Guys.

They built a world and they opened a door and the whole thing was a set-up to see how many people like you would do what you’re doing. He’s eating this shit up lmao. You said a couple times you used to be in a cult. You are just the person who should be running a blog like this because you know all the right manipulation and persuasion techniques so well you don’t even see yourself using them. You guys your theories keep getting weirder and crazier. Like you’ve got him stealing money or committing fraud and abusing every marginalized group you can find and it’s all so stupid. Like he runs his blog just like anyone but you go after how he runs his blog and the tags he uses and call him ableist. I’ve seen you be ableist but that gets ignored. He blocks people and you criticize it but you block people all the time! I know because you blocked me already once before. You called him anti-trans because he wouldn’t call you Fool. Come on! You said he was antisemitic because of lids. Then there’s this stalker guy who so needs to be in an institution and you’re just here accusing Simon of grooming people when it looked more like the stalker was grooming him. YOU EVEN BLAME THE VICTIM. Simon is like a master criminal now and you see him everywhere and you even had someone who was convinced he was a cannibal. Guys. Guys. GUYS. If this shit gets anymore complicated it’s going to be like the flatearthers. It’s a soap opera and you make it more dramatic every day!!!!!!

Omg lmao omg I just thought of something. What if YOU’RE Simon? Omg that would be so fucking funny...no seriously tho what if you are Simon. Whoa wait a minute now I need to think. That would be perfect because then you could see both of the reader groups at the same time and see who does what and who is shady holy shit. Then it makes sense you would be like a cult survivor because if I was in a cult I’d want to study this stuff too. It would also make sense why you were saying some of this really dumb stuff, because you’d be testing to see what information people would use!

Lmao I love this whole project. This is so funny.

If you’re Simon that’s hilarious and I will go away and let you do your thing but if you’re not Simon he really couldn’t ask for a better foil. Omg duh you called yourself the fool! DUH I don’t know why I didn’t get it till right now. I blew my own mind right now. I kind of hope you are him because damn that would be perfect.

I think I’m going to just shut up now. You just do your thing! 😉

[simonalkenmayer]

We are not the same person, but I don’t expect it matters. Once people get a conspiracy on their heads they seldom quit it. Are people really saying this? I’ll have to add it to my list. It would be a good idea, to run both a main blog and the hate blog. Wish I could say I thought of it. Then again, I didn’t have to. One appeared...as if on cue.

I’ll give you credit, Abby, you’re at least thinking outside of the “Simon is evil” axiom box, which I appreciate.

[keysmashabby]

Wow someone should really take apart Isdead’s fucking blog piece by piece, point out all his errors and stupidity really rudely, accuse him of a bunch of made up crimes, and then demand he give out his identity and personal information. Maybe he’s had someone stalk him or target him sexually who could be exploited and weapomized by jacking his mental healthcare.

Nope, see that’s the difference, Simon and his readers don’t work that way, because we aren’t the assholes here.

[feste-the-jester]

Some of us do try pointing out the errors and stupidity, Dear Abby... Although I take pride in not being rude about it! 🤡

[sparklyemojiheart]

Wow. Can you imagine, someone tells you about their mental illness, and you deem it appropriate to reply from the point of view of your egotistical monster character who believes the world revolves around them. And make that highly offensive, inappropriate rant several pages long. What the fuck is wrong with that person?!

.

[feste-the-jester]

Wow. Can you imagine, someone asks your monster character’s opinion about their mental illness, and you reply to the exact question they asked. And make that a long, detailed answer, to try and make your opinion clear. What the fuck is wrong with admitting you have trouble with something, when you’re asked directly?

Here, I fixed it.

[sparklyemojiheart]

Monster character or no monster character, "your mental illness offends me" is ableist my dude.

[feste-the-jester]

Yeah, if you take it out of all context and focus on that part. (And that’s not even what he said, really.) What he said was 1) I find humans taking over monster personas offensive 2) That being said, I understand that it’s mental illness and a result of you coming up with something that will protect you from trauma 3) “Who am I to ask you to change your identity? No one. Unless you choose to grant me that influence in your life.”

It wasn’t even “your mental illness offends me.” It was “Monster personas adopted by humans offend me, I understand this is the result of your mental illness, no hard feelings; you asked for my thoughts, so here they are -you can take them or leave them -have a nice life.”

He said he finds it difficult to interact with “monster/demon” alters, and would rather not have those interactions. He didn’t go looking for systems and attack their alters. He was asked a question, answered it, set a boundary, and was polite about it.