*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

[feydarling]

#FEYDARLING ─ an independent rp blog for feyre archeron of a court of thorns and roses. highly selective and sporadic activity. as written by mads (27, she/they). this blog is 21+ only. header and banner made by @rhysie ⋆｡°✩ ͙͘͡★

affiliated with @rhysie @moondevoured @sunsetstained ⋆｡°✩ ͙͘͡★

memes. headcanons.

[feydarling]

can’t believe this blog is a year old

[rainystarters]

⭒˚｡🖁‧₊˚ 〖 down these mean streets . . . 〗 a collection of scene prompts inspired by n͟e͟o͟-n͟o͟i͟r͟, v͟i͟o͟l͟e͟n͟c͟e͟, c͟o͟n͟t͟r͟o͟l͟, e͟t͟c͟. some prompts usfw. add +reversed for the receiving muse to be "the sender" instead. adjust details as necessary.

dead end. there's nowhere left to run; the sender has cornered you at last. anonymous. disguising your voice, you call the sender to threaten/warn them. loose ends. you thought you killed them! but there's the sender, walking your way. ashtray. your cigarette smokes as you extinguish it on the sender's skin. deck. you lick the sender's blood from your knuckles, still stinging from the punch. backstab. end of the road, pal—you reveal you're double-crossing the sender. blunt. hidden in the shadows, you press your gun to the sender's back.

heel. you stare at the sender from across the room and beckon them to you. fix. not looking like that—disapproving, you fix the sender's appearance. tilt. you take the sender's chin in your hand and make them meet your gaze. staccato. irritated, the sender drums their fingers against you beneath the table. listen. the sender disobeys and you swat their curious hand away. fasten. just something i picked up—you clasp a necklace/tie/etc. on the sender. quiet. you press a finger to the sender's lips and tell them to be patient.

vomit. you can't handle this; you vomit as the sender groans about leaving evidence. wink. don't worry—you wink as you assure the sender you have no morals to offend. up front. the sender's job is a doozy; you demand half the payment now or you walk. hush. talk is cheap but you sure aren't. you accept the hush money from the sender. crossfire. you realize the sender asking you to put out a hit is your next target. gulp. hard to argue with a bullet; you agree to the sender's demands. jugular. you hold your breath as the sender uses you to demonstrate how the murder weapon was used to strangle the victim.

patron. you know the sender is hired to keep you spending but you linger anyway. last call. the sender has one final cigarette in their pack; you take it without asking. loose lips. the sender pours you another glass as you finally confess. bills. it's on me—you pay for the sender's meal. cozy. there aren't enough seats open; you pull the sender onto your lap with a grin. coffee. you look like hell—you press a cup of coffee to the sender's hands. waiting. you duck into the bus stop to escape the rain, intruding on the sender.

gutter. the trail of blood ends and you find the sender broken on the ground. speak up. you press the knife in deeper as the sender swears they didn't betray you. plaster. it's not pretty but it'll do; you wince as the sender patches your wounds. empty. you laugh at the sender as you throw your gun aside, finally out of bullets. rat. the sender falls to their knees and agrees to tell you everything they know. smother. you clasp a hand over the sender's mouth to keep from being heard. cut our losses. the sender won't make it; you leave them to die.

voyeur. you know the sender's watching; you open the blinds so they can watch. slip of the tongue. the sender whispers another's name against your skin. sign here. the sender traces a finger over [your choice], asking you to leave a mark. desk. your most enticing assignment yet: the sender bent over your desk. handcuffs. the sender dangles the key, teasing, but you hope they take their time. window. you press the sender against the glass, watching the city watching them. harsh light. what's worse? the hangover or that you can't recall the sender's name.

[feydarling]

@sauveterres (isaac) : [ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 ] : sender is telling receiver they "deserve better than whatever this is".

“ don’t. you don’t have to explain yourself. ” i cut him off, sitting up with the fleece blanket slipping off my shoulders. the cool air drifting in through the barn door hitting sharply against my bare skin, goosebumps lining my arms. i didn’t pull the blanket back up or tighter around me — i wanted the harsh burn to prickle against my skin, grounding me to this place and the truth that hung between us. this was a silly, temporary engagement. a desperate attempt to fill some vast void within both of us. i could not afford the naive notions of love and marriage that my sisters distracted themselves with. my future was simple and clear, and did not intertwine with isaac’s. we both had a single prerogative: survive. for him, that meant an arrangement that had been preordained before he was born. there was no room for me in it, beyond the quiet nights we found some warmth within each other. i was too proud to admit that one day i would miss it. “ you know as well as i do that dreaming is useless. don’t waste it on me. i certainly won’t. we’ve known what this was from the beginning and nothing has changed. ”

[duskdevoted]

one of the things isaac has always found the most attractive about feyre is how to the point she is. never once has she wasted either of their time dancing around truth, or creating pretenses. it’s something that he found refreshing the first time they’d connected. now he craves it; the unabashed honesty of somebody who is so herself. he knows the name of his future bride, andrea. knows that she is likely to be everything a wife should be — particularly one who is already comfortable with pack life. but even so, he can’t imagine that she could ever be as wild and free as feyre so often seems in this barn. when she rides him it’s as if she’s a beast too, but with the blanket falling from her shoulders, he’s reminded SHE'S CLOSER TO A LAMB. 

despite the fact that she’s clearly upset with him, he finds himself reaching to lift it, to pull both ends together around her. she is worth more than this. the thought echoes in his skull as if it’s a message from the moon herself, and he stands and pulls his trousers up. isaac doesn’t bother to wipe himself beforehand. the other werewolves will no doubt scent somebody on him, but so will he. he’d like to be able to scent her on his skin a while longer. as he fastens the buttons a twinge of guilt runs through him. this would be their last tryst and he couldn’t even wait to get them off before being inside her.

" you do deserve better than this. all of this. " not just him, nor the airy barn. but the village and the little cottage she lives in, the things she has to do to survive and to keep her family alive. if he had more money he would… no, that would be like paying her for her glittering touch. it might not mean anything to her beyond release, but he wouldn’t dare cheapen it like that. " whether you dream or not, you will find it. "

[feydarling]

it stings, even though it shouldn’t. even though i had known this was coming from the beginning. i wasn’t sure what hurt worse — the rejection or the pity. the look on his face as he pulled the blanket around me, his fingers running along my bare skin for perhaps what would be the last time. as if i needed help, as if i needed him. something small and fragile, something in danger of breaking — of being blown away. it twisted my insides in a way i couldn’t understand. resentment and disgust that he didn’t deserve, but i couldn’t deny.

comfort. companionship. i knew i didn’t need it and yet, some undeniable yearning seemed to chip away at me. some buried part of me threatening to cave in as i prepared myself for that dreaded absence. that loss that had never really been mine to begin with. no more relief or tantalizing pleasure. it seemed my life could not afford me that even sparingly.

he looked so much older than the first time he had kissed me. knotting his long fingers through my hair, as i pulled him into the barn. how shy and clumsy we had both been at first, but it didn’t take long for him to reach his bearings. i couldn’t stop myself from coming back for more.

as he quickly pulled on his trousers, it finally struck me that he was truly leaving — it was over. one foot already out the door as he offered some hollow and sweet farewell. naively, i hadn’t expected him to rush out so soon — not this time. just one more round as i memorized his length and held onto his moans. but i couldn’t ask him to stay. i couldn’t prolong the inevitable. “ what do you want me to say? our dreams are dead, isaac. don’t start making promises to me now. ” a sharpness i hated burst from my voice, as i tossed off the blanket, daring the cold. it was easier to bare than this. “ you don’t need my blessing, so don’t give me your pity. ”

[feydarling]

@sauveterres (sylvian) : [ 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] : sender is voicing their negative opinion about a person who appears to be close with the receiver.

“ speak ill of my mate again and what’s befallen your court will look like a mercy. ” i stared him down with little remorse. i had once killed his brother, but i knew better than to think sylvian would go down quietly. he would not be so easy to shoot in the eye. but neither would i. no weapon necessary, my arsenal of power had developed enough on its own. the leaves rustling with my threat, a quiet nod to the power we both possessed over the wind. he had centuries worth of mastery and skill over me and a dying court to avenge, but he didn’t have the whips of fire and ice that snapped between my fingers. the howling darkness that crept around me and the sharp wings that could carry me over the forest canopy if i so wished. but i hadn’t needed hardly any of my power to bring the spring court to its knees. just cunning determination and a firm nudge.

[feydarling]

nosferatu kinda giving feysand

[duskdivined]

🍒 + insert mads' url here

that's my baby!!! and there's a reason why she's the first person who comes up when i hit that @ symbol. i've been lucky enough to call mads one of my closest friends for over ten years now, and that's partially due to the fact that she makes so much of an effort with me... because frankly that's the only way to keep up a friendship with me. but even when we first started talking i was so struck by how cool she was? like she's a little bit younger than me and i 100% felt odd about being her friend, but she was so cool that it was worth getting over it. she has consistently been somebody who can make me laugh until my sides hurt and she has blossomed into such an incredible, intelligent woman and i'm super proud of her.

send me 🍒 + a url and i will write some positivity for them. @feydarling

[feydarling]

FEYRE DAY

[feydarling]

@sauveterres (isaac) : [ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 ] : sender is telling receiver they "deserve better than whatever this is".

“ don’t. you don’t have to explain yourself. ” i cut him off, sitting up with the fleece blanket slipping off my shoulders. the cool air drifting in through the barn door hitting sharply against my bare skin, goosebumps lining my arms. i didn’t pull the blanket back up or tighter around me — i wanted the harsh burn to prickle against my skin, grounding me to this place and the truth that hung between us. this was a silly, temporary engagement. a desperate attempt to fill some vast void within both of us. i could not afford the naive notions of love and marriage that my sisters distracted themselves with. my future was simple and clear, and did not intertwine with isaac’s. we both had a single prerogative: survive. for him, that meant an arrangement that had been preordained before he was born. there was no room for me in it, beyond the quiet nights we found some warmth within each other. i was too proud to admit that one day i would miss it. “ you know as well as i do that dreaming is useless. don’t waste it on me. i certainly won’t. we’ve known what this was from the beginning and nothing has changed. ”

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR YEARNING, LOTS OF YEARNING... *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i had a dream about you last night.

i remember every single kiss you took from me.

you are my everything.

i feel the same way about you.

where you go, i follow.

you're mine. you've always been mine.

i'm in love with you to the point of breathlessness.

after all this time, you still give me butterflies.

you make it hard to breathe, you know.

you fixed me. you fixed my broken heart.

i will not go another breath without you.

i crave you.

i need to be close to you.

i think i've loved you since the day we met.

i'm with you.

you touched me, and i came alive.

the universe isn't big enough to hold the depths of how i feel for you.

are you sure we're not dreaming?

kiss me again, and don't stop this time.

i can't bear the thought of living without you.

you complete me.

i want all of you. every piece of you.

i won't lose you again.

you're the most important person i have ever known.

the universe gave you to me.

you're the answer to every question i've ever had.

i want you close. i want to feel you sigh.

how am i supposed to do this without you? i can't.

all i love i knew before... it's nothing like the love i have with you.

you changed everything. everything looks different now that you're here.

i'm not ready to let go of you.

i want you safe. i want you close to me.

you fixed all of my broken pieces. you stitched me back together.

nothing will take you away from me.

i love you in every language and in every song.

i need you.

i'd rather die than let you go.

i need a whole day with you, spent in bed, just the two of us.

all that i am and everything i'll ever be belongs to you.

do you have any idea what you do to me?

stop looking at me like that. i can't focus.

you can't expect me to just... wait like this.

don't go. do that again, please.

you are everything i could ever want.

i was an empty shell until we met. i was a haunted house, darkened with pain, and you turned my lights on.

you are the most beautiful person i have ever seen.

i'm always going to be madly in love with you.

if you don't kiss me again, i'll die.

i crave the taste of your kiss.

i can't believe you're real.

if you only knew what you did to me...

there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you.

i love you more than anything.

a life without you isn't a life worth living.

don't let go of me.

you're the only one that matters.

you don't know what you do to me.

pretty sure i've fallen in love with you four times today.

you're my love.

lay with me. be with me.

they don't know you the way i do.

don't give up on me. don't give up on us.

you know what that does to me.

not even the poets could properly describe what you mean to me.

i miss the way it felt to be touched by you.

you are the sun and the stars and every other golden thing in the universe.

am i dreaming? is this real life?

i was living life half-alive until i met you.

i've never needed anyone like i need you.

please take my hand. hold it and never let go.

i love when the sun hits your eyes. you're glowing.

be with me tonight.

i've only ever wanted you. just you.

[feydarling]

every acotar theory looks so silly when you remember the series was supposed to end with acotar and everything since then has been an afterthought

[duskdevoted]

andras only nods at her, his features grave as the confirmation of what he’d already gathered washes over him. within his lifetime she had never been able to act on it, but his sister had a naturally adventurous spirit. if she had been in the summer court a while ago, she could have easily travelled through each of the other courts using her charm as a bargaining tool by now. nova could very well be anywhere. he puts that thought to one side, reminds himself that as long as she’s safe, he is well. it seems there’s more for the made-fae to tell him about his sister, but her expression says enough – he isn’t ready to hear it. 

for now he decides to focus on his court, and his lips press into a thin line. during his time on the other side he had felt the shift in the spring court; how it had seemed to flourish then flounder in what had felt like a matter of days while he was in his state of vastness. a few comments from the inner circle had all but confirmed his suspicions that feyre’s hand had caused the rapid decline. he would have to lie through his teeth to pretend to be anything but disappointed now that he knows for certain. feyre archeron is a woman of many faces. he had felt it the first moment he saw her. saviour and destroyer, lover and fighter. some deeply wound instinct makes him want to serve both sides of her, despite the ache that settles into his chest as he considers what else she could achieve with time.

" life is about rebuilding from endings. i’m sure that with time, the spring court will thrive again. this isn’t the first time it has suffered. " maybe it’s the healing powers that flood his veins ( although he struggles now to access them ) but andras knows it to be true. feels the same kind of confidence in his homeland as his eldest brother always had; in the ability of their people to persevere through hardships and grow like vines. the high lady’s question catches him off guard. as far as he could tell, his opinion was of little consequence to anybody here. curious. he rests his hands before him on the table, palms pressed together as if in prayer, and leans in to meet her in the middle.

as he drinks in her features he knows that anger isn’t on the cards. not even if she confesses that she made her choices out of malice. he still can’t place it, why he feels such an affinity to feyre and her sisters. it makes it easy for him to understand their perspectives — it also gives him the desire to deliver their wants to them on a platter. perhaps that’s why he can’t find it in himself to be angry… or perhaps he’s just evolved beyond it during his time in nature; so much so that he has no need to care about her the insinuation that he is a traitor.

" who else would i associate with whilst here? " he asks in a gentle voice, brows lifting. there’s currently nowhere else for him to go – nobody else to spend time with. he’d tried to bond with the azriel, but the other male had had very little interest. elain had been the first to embrace him, sometimes it seems as though nesta may tolerate his presence, but he finds himself wanting to find acceptance in feyre, too. " i don’t know why you did it. tell me, and i’ll decide how i feel. "

[feydarling]

it had all started with him on that cold winter morning. the empty ache in my stomach pushing me further into the woods than i had ever been. hunger and desperation brought me to him, but hatred is what drove me to shoot the arrow. the girl with hate in her heart. a fatal, foolish choice made in haste. a single moment that changed everything for all of us. whatever magic had brought him back, seemed to tie us together by the same string of fate. whatever was coming next, the cauldron didn’t seem to be done with either of us just yet.

“ i loved him. i did. but he didn’t know how to love me. not the way i needed. i don’t respond well to being caged. ” was i really doing this? telling andras everything — giving him every reason to hate me, to finally decide to leave and admit i wasn’t worth pledging any allegiance to. part of me wanted to get it over with. to ease the harsh blow that would surely come with the disappointment and disgust evident in yellow eyes. i didn’t know why i cared so much, why it mattered what he thought of me. perhaps it was the nobility and virtue that prompted him to fall on a sword for the good of his home. in a world of grey, he still appeared golden.

“ he couldn’t let me go. even when i begged. when it was killing me. ” my voice was solemn. grave. i did not care to speak about those years — the short bit of time before rhys had pulled me out barely alive, a half broken shell of a person, with so little will to live. i wished i could go back and shake myself awake, but my feeble bones would’ve broken from the impact. “ he was blinded by something masquerading as love and it ruined him. rotted him to the core, just like those wilting flowers all over his court. "

“ in trying to get me back, he led my sisters to their doom. i will never forgive that. ” finally, i looked up to meet andras’ gaze. perhaps he could understand that - the undying need to protect our families, the blood that still ran deep. “ i knew i could turn his court against him, but i didn’t expect it to be so easy. it was my idea, no one else’s. ” i still couldn’t decide if i regretted what i had done. if it made me feel any better, if the scales had truly been balanced. “ i didn’t do it so we could invade and conquer the spring court, i just needed him to feel how i felt when he locked me in a cage. when i watched my sisters burn alive in the cauldron. ” no remorse filtered through my voice — he needed to see me for what i was. what i had become. “ i wanted him to suffer. for all of it. ”

[feydarling]

can’t believe i started reading acotar a year ago and i haven’t thought about anything else since

[feydarling]

i won’t see sunlight for the next 5 days i’m so rhys coded

[feydarling]

Positivity Protocol! 😄💙☀️ Send this to ten muns who you think portray their muses so damn well and are just generally awesome!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE STILL GET TO WRITE TOGETHER AFTER ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!

[feydarling]

feyre starting her own inner circle: nesta, andres, bryaxis,,,,,,,,,,,

[feydarling]

happy birthday @rhysie i tried to capture your bad knee