nesta doesn’t think to conceal the confusion that creeps its way onto her features. upheaval has been the one permanent fixture in her life, yet the outcome has always left her feeling stuck. as seemingly charmed as her childhood was, she’d been trapped by expectations of perfection; of securing a favourable future. when they lost their fortune, a future with even an ounce of comfort became impossible to fathom. just as she’d finally been on the cusp of contentment a neverending future, filled with battle and blood, had seized her.
the made fae never would have traveled through space and time if not for what… a turn of fate? a gift from the cauldron in the form of a young queen? if she hadn’t already been forced to believe in a greater power, aelin would certainly have made her a believer. it’s something she’s seen in others too since her arrival here; a blind sort of faith and wonder, but not a foolish one. she’s quiet as she mulls it all over – surprisingly calm about the others hand on hers, perhaps because she is so consumed by her thoughts.
this isn’t a one way ticket, yet she can’t help but worry that a ‘goodbye’ will be final.
" i’ve never had much choice before. " a quiet confession, despite the fact that they’re utterly and blissfully alone. the court is bustling, but she doesn’t feel as though eyes are trained on her; has no sense that her words will be repeated to somebody who she can never truly trust. but she trusts aelin. believes every last word to fall from her lips. and a home? it’s all she’s ever wanted. erilea would be the perfect one – it already is to so many.
" i would like nothing more. " another confession, but this one is more certain, feels far less pathetic. it parts her lips with a smile. " perhaps if my plan goes awry, the next time i return will be for good. " humour, wry as it is, laces its way into her voice. in truth she has two options: make her plan work, survive. or fail, and likely fight to the death. " it may be wise to make some room in your court for a few valkyries. perhaps a seer and a shadowsinger. "
playfulness remains in her tone, but full lips press into a flat line the moment she forbids herself to explore that thought any further. she has died and been reborn. she has killed and killed and killed. but this is territory too morbid even for a being with a talent for anticipating the worst. a voice in the back of her mind tells her to cross that bridge when she comes to it, and just like that the thought is released to return another time.
" of all the queens i’ve met, you are by far my favourite. " no need to mention that there’s no competition, instead she simply nudges aelin’s hand so that their fingers may entwine, the moment of sisterhood anchors her. " but i suppose you’ve heard that often enough? "