do you ever feel like a misfit?

baby, come pass me a lighter we're gonna leave 'em on fire we're the sinners and the blessings ( disclaimer | etc )

[feyfelix]

Hi, just a quick OOC to apologize for being slow! Work has been super busy and I was going to make responses today but ofc my power is out. I will try to respond later!

[feyfelix]

Beginning a Class Assignment

@feyjaeyong

As he stepped out of his dormitory, Felix felt a little of the bad mood he'd been in evaporating as a snow flake landed on his nose. Tugging his coat a little closer to his body, he wrinkled his nose as he glanced up into the sky. It wasn't snowing a lot, just a few flurries here and there. His lips curled up slightly as the cold winter air seeped into his skin. It was nice. It reminded him of home, of cold days and heaps of snow that he had to lift his feet up to his knees to be able to trudge through. The wind rustled against his face, brushing strands of hair against his skin. Pulling his beanie down a little further on his head, Felix looked back in front of him and began the walk from his room to the library.

Walking could be therapeutic for him - or at least give him to opportunity to think about everything buzzing in his mind without being able to wallow in the darkest feelings that clouded the recesses of his mind. Maybe it was because other people were around and he didn't want to have a breakdown in front of strangers, or maybe being outside helped him think about things in a way that wasn't so focused on the moment. He'd always had a difficult time seeing beyond what was in front of him right now, of seeing that the future could hold something drastically different. In some ways, he'd even hated the thought of the future - it was uncertain. There were no guarantees of what tomorrow could bring, and for some people that could be exciting, but for Felix, it was scary. He wanted to wake up every day wrapped warmly in what was known and real. Being left in an uncertain state made him feel frozen in the present, no longer able to live in the past he'd known but also not able to step into the future, either.

As he stepped into the library, he chewed absently at his bottom lip, his gaze scanning the lobby for a sign of the person he was there to meet. Jaeyong. A face he hadn't seen in the better part of a year, a face accompanied by memories that made Felix want to cringe. Mostly at himself. He was far enough removed from the situation that he could see things more clearly - hell, he'd even been through some things since then that made him feel like he could understand what the other must have been going through, or at least some of it.

Sighing, he fished his phone out of his pocket and found Jaeyong's name, re-added to his phone after they'd found out they were to be partners for this history project. Even though he would have rather worked alone (or with someone he hadn't wanted to tear apart the last time they'd spoken), Felix didn't actually mind the thought of the project. Sure, he didn't feel particularly interested in the thought of speaking in front of the entire classroom, but he found history fascinating, especially when he thought about it in terms of stories and pictures. Although a lot of his work tended to be more on the fantastical and unrealistic side, Felix could easily find inspiration in history.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he typed a quick message to Jaeyong that he was grabbing them a table before finding a quieter, less occupied section. Pulling his messenger bag over his head, Felix set it on the table first before beginning the process of peeling off his gloves, coat and thick scarf, draping them all over one of the extra chairs at the table before sliding into his seat and digging in his bag. Although he pulled his laptop out, his sketchpad was what he went for first, his fingers plucking a pencil from his bag as he started sketching something remaining from the feeling earlier as he'd felt the snowflake dampen the tip of his nose.

[feyjunghwa]

Commissions? ||

@feyfelix

Having dogs meant that Junghwa was forced to exercise, and actually leave the apartment where he resided to walk them. Ji and Min ran ahead of him on a dual leash, as he strolled behind them, feeling rather at ease. The day was nice and his hoodie (his signature OPPAI hoodie) was enough to keep him warm. It was just overall a nice day in general. His two girls ran ahead, pulling the vampire along but he just happily let them pull him wherever. 

Of course, the duo stopped by a boy and were sniffing at the other’s feet. Junghwa stopped, a bit aways and tugged on the leash. “Ji, Min, don’t disturb the nice boy,” he said, looking at the other apologetically. “Sorry, about the girls. They get excited around new people and I still haven’t gotten used to that,” he added. Peeking at what the other seemed to be doing, junghwa grinned. “Are you an artist of some sort?” he asked. It was a genuine curious question, since the vampire was quite impressed. 

It was rare that he’d stumble on decent skilled people and if this boy was a good enough artist, with skills, well, the vampire would be eager  to get some stuff done. 

[feyfelix]

Although Felix sometimes could easily stay holed up in his room when inspiration struck, that wasn't always the case. To be honest, it had been a while since he'd felt particularly inspired, something he blamed on a temperamental muse, even though he knew it all really came back to him. With a huff, he grabbed his messenger bag, dumped both his tablet and sketchpad in it before heading out of his room even though a part of him just wanted to crawl back under the covers. He had some deadlines to meet - his online comic had suffered a bit recently, but worse than that were various class projects and other paid jobs that had been building up.

After wandering around a bit, Felix eventually found a bench that looked promising - at least it had a decent view. Leaning back against the bench, he pulled his sketchpad out of his bag, pulling his feet up to press against the bench, using his legs as a place to rest the sketchpad. His gaze flitted across the scenery beyond him, but instead of finding any real inspiration, he found himself sketching some of the characters in his comic with various expressions. He was starting to feel frustrated with himself again when he noticed a couple of dogs approaching. When they stopped to sniff his feet, Felix arched his eyebrows, amused at their friendliness.

Seeing a pair of human legs stop next to the dogs, Felix looked up, a smile curling the edges of his lips at the apology. "First time pet owner?" he asked, finding some amusement in the thought as he let his feet slide off the bench to the ground as he rested his sketchpad on his lap and reached out to curiously scratch behind one of the dogs' ears. He'd always felt an affinity to animals, though he supposed it helped that he was kind of half one himself.

The question about whether he was an artist brought his attention back to the other man. He glanced down at the sketchpad before answering sheepishly, "Ah, yeah, of some sort." It wasn't that he felt nervous about someone else seeing his work - he hadn't really ever cared what other people thought about what he did - but the fact that he'd been trying to draw the entire morning and all he had to show for it was a few sketches of one of his characters made an anxious feeling creep under his skin. "Or trying to be," he added with a wry twist to his lips. "I'm Felix. And they are...Ji and Min?" he asked, glancing back at the dogs curiously, though he couldn't tell which name belonged to which dog.

[feyfelix]

Hello!

I meant to do this sooner but work has been draining me the past few days! My name is Ren. I’m in EST and usually am available at night but sometimes my job has me working nights and weekends too...like tonight. ANYWAY enough about me! The kid I’m bringing to you is Felix! He’s originally from South Korea but was raised in Minnesota due to some unfortunate circumstances (family killed in a freak attack, leading to him being adopted by one of the local cops who happened to be a werewolf which...Felix also happens to be). Eventually he started connecting the dots and decided the best course of action was to move to Seoul to go to college (SNU College of Fine Arts’ Painting Department) and get away from his adopted father. He’s also trying to find any remaining members of his biological family but without much luck so far. Random tidbits about him: he loves to draw (he’s basically attached to his sketchpad or tablet) and runs an online web comic called Seoul Seeker (yeah, he knows). Think something along the lines of Elfen Lied - kind of cute, but quite gorey. He’s also into sports like hockey and loves a good bonfire! I have more info in his bio if you’re curious but as far as connections I’m looking for most everything! Friends, exes, maybe some people he’s squabbled with, any and everything! Gimme all your muses to plot with!! 

[feyfelix]

An Attempt at Writing an Essay

Honestly, I wish I could tell you more about the scariest day of my life. I can only remember pieces of it, and the rest is padded by what the cops were willing to tell me - what my father was willing to tell me. I remember the blood that sprayed across the floors, the walls, the carpet that squished under my toes. I remember the look in my mother's eyes, or maybe it was no look at all. Maybe that was the scariest thing about that moment. That I can remember, anyway. I can't remember any details of the attack. I remember the cops trying to understand, trying to glean some nugget of information from me, but my father - well, not my father then, but now - had stepped in and stopped them from asking the same questions over and over again. Putting me through additional trauma or something like that. That's what my therapist had said too. Now I know that was all a load of fucking bullshit. But more on that later, I guess.

Nose scrunching, Felix cursed and angrily wadded the paper into a ball and tossed it into the fireplace. "It's no fucking good," he cursed, earning a snort from the other boy sitting across the table from him. "Writing's not like drawing," he added, staring down at the paper with perfectly spaced lines. Paper. Who even wrote on paper anymore? His best friend had tossed the notepad at him earlier, muttering something about how it might help with his creative juices.

Maybe it was because he always inevitably started writing about that. He knew he couldn't turn in a college essay about that night, but it was what he always ended up thinking about. How could he explain in a college essay that his parents had been butchered when he was just a kid, and that he suspected the friendly neighborhood, small-town cop who had adopted him was the person who had actually committed the crime? That he'd been left scarred in a way that he hadn't been able to tell anyone about, that only his adopted father understood? At first, he'd wondered if it was some kind of fucked up guilt that had led the other man to take him in, to teach him how to control his impulses, but then he started to think maybe it was more than just that. Maybe it was self-preservation, because Felix could have easily revealed who - what - he was, what he'd done.

"Does it really matter what you write, anyway?" Devin glanced up, his glasses sliding to the very tip of his nose, his eyes narrowing as he reached a hand to run through the curly mess he called hair. Felix had always thought it was cool, but Devin would never agree. "Aren't you already accepted to that university half a world away?"

This time it was Felix who snorted, jamming his foot into Devin's shin under the table, earning him an indignant hiss. "Yeah, but I have to pretend. You know how my dad can be." There had been some luxuries that Benjamin Frost had afforded him. One was the years of Korean lessons that he'd said was to give him some tie to his family, to his heritage. The other was the countless times he'd gotten him out of trouble, which was probably the only reason he was able to travel halfway across the world to go to university in Seoul. Felix wasn't completely certain that had all been out of the goodness of his heart, either. But his adopted father had never been good at displays of emotion at any point in Felix's life, and he wasn’t unique in that. Ben Frost. He'd always heard people joking in hushed voices about the now small-town sheriff's surname was fitting. But they also held him in awe and high regard, because he had a no-nonsense attitude and he kept things in order. He was the law, but he was fair. Felix doubted they would feel the same if they knew his other life, though.

Maybe that was why he couldn't say that day over a decade ago had been the scariest day of his life, because in some ways, he felt like he was still living it, and the more he found out, the harder it was to ignore everything that was pointing to the one obvious truth. He had to get away from here, away from Benjamin Frost, however he could, and he had to, somehow, find out more about the family he'd lost, the family he couldn't remember any more than a pair of unblinking eyes and the photo clippings he'd gotten from the old newspaper archive.

[levhanter]

mixtape 애, han

[melisica]